Chronicles of a Hot Mess

by S. E. Rose

  She groaned against his lips as they found their way back to hers. He gripped her tighter, fisting his hands in the material of her dress with one hand as his other supported her luscious ass. Damn, she had a great ass.

  He wasn’t thinking at all, just feeling, until he was rocked from his sexual stupor by hooting and hollering out of an upstairs window. He abruptly pulled back and his eyes followed the sound as did Lyla’s.

  “You go, girl!” B-Ray yelled from the window. His wig had clearly come off and now he just sported a short-clipped haircut, but he still had on his makeup.

  “Don’t stop on our account,” Nate hollered at them.

  Lyla leaned her head against Amery’s chest and shook it back and forth. “FML,” she whispered.

  Amery chuckled. “G’night, guys,” he called up and they giggled like schoolgirls caught being bad and shut the window, but not before Nate yelled out, “Don’t forget to use protection.”

  “I hate them. You may need to come bail me out of jail tomorrow because I am going to murder everyone in this house as soon as I go back inside,” she whispered against his neck.

  “You could come back with me,” Amery suggested, as she looked up at him.

  She shook her head. “I’m not that type of girl, Amery,” she said softly.

  He lifted her chin up, so she was forced to look at him. “I don’t think you are. I just mean, if you need to get away from the madness, my guest room is available.”

  She smiled at him. “Thank you, but I think someone might need to play adult here tonight,” she said motioning back toward the house with her head.

  “True,” he said. But inside he had desperately wanted her to say yes.

  “Come out to dinner with me on Sunday,” he stated, rather than asked.

  “I don’t know,” she said as she slid down his chest.

  “Please,” he asked, giving a puppy dog face.

  She giggled. “Fine, text me,” she replied as she typed in her number on the phone he handed her.

  He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss. “I’ll see you Sunday, sexy. Call me if you need help with your entourage,” he added with a grin as he turned to head back to the car.

  “Thanks, Amery,” she called out to him.

  “Anytime.”

  Chapter 9

  Lyla

  Lyla sank down against the front door and reveled in the fact that a hot guy had just kissed the living hell out of her. She wanted a moment to commit this to memory in case it never happened again. As she sat there reminiscing about the past five minutes, the front door flew open and she went tumbling back into the house. She looked up to see her grandmother peering down at her.

  “So, you gonna spill it on this Amery character or what?” she asked her hands on her hips.

  Lyla closed her eyes and pretended for a moment that she had a normal life and lived on her own. She imagined waking up, alone, in her apartment, alone. When her eyes re-opened, she found three faces staring down at her and she laughed. Who the fuck was she kidding? She loved these insane people even when they did embarrass the ever-loving-hell out of her.

  Nate put his hand out, and she took it as he pulled her to her feet.

  “That was...,” Nate started.

  “H-O-T, hot!” B-Ray finished.

  “Yasssss, so hot!” Nate agreed.

  “That young man can kiss,” Gran Mill concurred, nodding her head vigorously so that her throat waddled.

  “Guys, seriously? Tonight was going fine until it ended in a ball of flames,” Lyla bemoaned as she gave her grandmother a sharp look.

  Gran Mill shrugged. “You kids weren’t supposed to come home so early,” she said.

  “Gran, it was like four in the morning,” Nate said.

  “Well, Roger took one of those little blue pills and well, we weren’t going to waste it,” she explained.

  “Shit, girl, I hope I have half you all’s stamina when I’m your age,” B-Ray said giving Gran Mill a fist bump.

  “OK, well it’s late and you all need your beauty sleep, so off you go, up to bed, youngsters,” Gran Mill said as she literally pushed them with her hands up the steps. “You have a good ass, Nathan.”

  “Ew, Gran Mill, that’s, ew,” Nate said as he reached the top step.

  “Goodnight, kids,” she said and went to her room.

  “Goodnight, Gran Mill,” they all said in unison before falling into Nate’s room in a fit of giggles.

  “I cannot believe that just happened,” Lyla moaned into a pillow.

  “What, that you finally got kissed and broke your dry spell?” Nate teased.

  “Fuck you,” she said, throwing the pillow at him.

  “Oh, you mean the part where you walked into our house with the two of us slap-happy drunk and being held up by you and your man crush only to find your grandmother Fifty Shading it with Roger the blue-pill-carrying senior Rico Suave? That part?” Nate asked, deadpan.

  “Yeah, that part, asshat,” Lyla mumbled.

  B-Ray patted her on the back. “Don’t worry, sweetie pie, I don’t think it changed his desire to bone the ever-loving shit out of you because that man kissed you like you were water and he just came out of a weeklong hike in the desert.”

  “B-Ray, you guys have got to stop spying on me when I have a guy over. Seriously, it was like a bad John Hughes movie,” Lyla scolded.

  B-Ray grinned. “Girl, I haven’t gotten action in months. I have to live vicariously through someone. And besides, when was the last time you had someone kissing you on the front porch?”

  “Well, Ly just broke her dry spell, that’s for sure,” Nate said with a laugh.

  “Alright, nosey ninnies, I’m off to bed. I both hate and love you. Goodnight,” Lyla said as she made her way back to her room.

  “G’night?” B-Ray and Nate yelled.

  “Go to bed!” Gran Mill squealed from her room.

  The three of them laughed as Lyla shut her door. She peeled off her clothes and threw on some sweats before climbing into bed. As she went to put her phone on the charger, she saw a missed text. She clicked on it, not recognizing the number.

  Amery: Hey, it’s Amery. This is my number. I had a great (and interesting- haha) time with you tonight. I’ll let you know the deets for Sunday sometime tomorrow. Sweet dreams.

  She smiled, texted back “OK” and fell fast asleep.

  Chapter 10

  Amery

  “Why did you let us drink so much last night?” Kent whined from the back seat as Amery dropped Ward and him off at practice.

  “Oh right, like that was my fault,” Amery laughed.

  “You’re such a pussy, Kent. I drank twice as much as you and I’m fine,” Ward said, clearly proud of his ability to ingest enough alcohol to cause a normal person alcohol poisoning with little to no effect on him at all.

  “Fuck off, Snare,” Kent groaned as he sipped his water.

  “You are so fucked at practice today,” Ward laughed.

  “You both should be ashamed of yourselves for drinking so much last night,” Amery scolded.

  “Who the fuck are you, the fun police?” Ward said.

  “Yeah, piss off, Walsh,” Kent agreed with his friend.

  “Have fun, ladies,” Amery said, giving them a shit-eating grin as he pulled up to drop them off before going to the parking lot. He had to talk with Derek.

  He got the one-finger salute from both of them as they trudged off toward the locker room. He parked and went up to Derek’s office.

  “Hi, Sally, is he in there?” he asked as he approached Derek’s PA.

  “Sure is, go on in, Amery,” Sally said, batting her eyelashes at him. He ignored it as he had every other time he had seen her.

  Derek motioned for him to have a seat as he wrapped up a call to his wife, or at least who Amery assumed was his wife.

  “So, how’s it looking for those two players we discussed last week?” Derek asked. They launched into a discussion on two young men that one o
f their AAA teams would likely be drafting for the upcoming season.

  “You were out with Ward and Kent last night,” Derek stated as he stood and looked out his windows down to the field where his players were running drills.

  “How’d you...” Amery trailed off as Derek turned and tapped a paper on his desk. He turned it and showed him. On an inside page of the local sports section, there was a small article about the team highlighting Ward and then a photo of them at the club the night before.

  He frowned as he didn’t remember anyone taking a photo.

  “You guys need to be more careful,” Derek reprimanded.

  “Noted,” Amery agreed.

  “I’ll see you at the gala next Saturday?” Derek asked.

  “Yes,” Amery assured him.

  “And, who will you be attending with, her?” Derek inquired, pointing to Lyla in the photo.

  “I honestly hadn’t thought about it, yet,” Amery admitted.

  “Well, just remember to keep it classy. Your image still affects this team, Amery,” Derek pointed out.

  “Right,” Amery agreed. He hated that it was true, but it was. He had been so tied to the team when he was injured. And he was still a popular local celebrity and had some bigger celebrity friends that kept him in the limelight. He was all too well aware that he needed to be maintaining a low profile.

  “That’s all. Just remember, keep it classy,” Derek said as Amery got up and walked to the door.

  “Oh, and, Amery?” Derek called as he opened the door.

  Amery turned to him. “I like that one. She’s fresh, innocent, and won’t get you into trouble,” Derek said as he pointed to the photograph in the paper.

  Amery nodded and walked out. Fuck Derek, he thought to himself. He wasn’t about to take dating advice from him. He was ninety-nine percent sure Derek was cheating on his wife. He rolled his eyes to himself as he went back to his car and then drove over to his apartment to work out, not wanting to be near any of the players in the weight room at the stadium.

  Lyla

  “What time is it?” she asked as Nate browsed the clearance rack at Nordstrom’s.

  “Chillax, Ly. It’s not even one yet. We have hours,” he said while rolling his eyes. She sighed and wondered why in the hell she had agreed to Nate giving her a “makeover.”

  “OK, go try on these three,” he said as he handed her several dresses. She grabbed them and walked into the dressing room. The first dress, if you could even call it that, was a definite no.

  “Come out,” Nate called. “Let me see it.”

  “Uh, no way. This is not a dress, Nathan. This is a t-shirt and not even a long t-shirt,” she argued from inside the safety of the women’s fitting room.

  “No, it’s just short,” Nate yelled back. “Plus, you have great legs and you never show them off.”

  “Well, I’m not showing them off in that t-shirt,” she replied. She tried on the next dress, which at least covered her ass, so she humored him.

  She walked out and turned in a circle. He made one of those spinning gestures with his finger and she turned around again.

  “Nope, not feeling it,” he said and motioned for her to go back inside. She rolled her eyes and tried on the next dress.

  She walked out, and he cocked his head to one side and then the other side. She was forced to spin three times.

  “Try this one on, too,” he said as he handed her yet another dress. She had already done this about seven other times and was quickly tiring of playing dress-up Barbie.

  “Fine, but this is it. I am so done,” she called out as she went to put the dress on.

  She took off the current dress and tossed it on the pile and then looked at what Nate had given her. It was actually really nice, a simple wrap dress. She groaned when she realized she also needed something for the gala the following weekend.

  “Nate, we need to get a gala dress, too,” she said exasperatedly.

  “Fuck yeah. I forgot all about that. Shit, do you still need me to go. I promised Brian I’d go to his office party,” he said sheepishly.

  “Thanks, that’s great. Just great,” she muttered as she put on the dress. She stepped out into the semicircle of mirrors in front of Nate and spun around. The bottom of the dress was short, but not offending as it came just a few inches up from her knee and flared out when she spun. The top was pretty with just a slight flourishment of black beading around the bodice. It was classy, simple and could be dressed up or down.

  “That’s it,” Nate said with a smile.

  “Great, finally,” she breathed. She no sooner had walked in and changed when Nate was standing at the entrance to the fitting room holding a pile of gala dresses.

  “Seriously?” she asked.

  “March that fine ass back in there and try these on,” he commanded.

  She nodded and got down to business. About twenty dresses later, she found “the one” as Nate dubbed it and then it was off to get makeup and hair done.

  “Why am I getting my makeup done?” she asked him as she sat in a chair at the salon.

  “Because you want to look amazing!” he answered, clapping his hands together.

  “Right, you do know it’s just a date. I’m not going to prom or anything,” she said as she glared at him.

  “True, so you won’t mind the mani-pedi I tacked on then?” he asked with a grin.

  “You are such an enabler. I don’t even like doing girlie stuff,” she sighed.

  “I know but do it for me!” he said with a melodramatic flair of his hand.

  She gave him a sharp look and he laughed.

  “Oh, BTW, I used your Amazon Prime account this week,” Nate mentioned as he had his nails buffed.

  “Fabulous. Is that why my email was blowing up with Amazon orders?” she said sarcastically.

  “You noticed that, huh?” he replied with another sheepish grin.

  “Yes, although the only item I saw you purchase was a tube of that ridiculous toothpaste, that you just have to get from Amazon,” she said.

  “Well, have you seen B-Ray’s teeth. I mean, that toothpaste is made by teeth gods or something,” Nate explained.

  “Fair. B-Ray’s teeth are amazeballs,” she agreed. “What else did you order? Hey, did you put it on your card or mine?”

  He shrugged and grinned.

  “You ass. You are so paying for all of this today,” she said.

  “Of course, I am. I mean, it was my brilliant idea and all,” he said with a wink.

  “Great,” she replied.

  They finished their spa day and then headed home, so Lyla could get dressed. She stepped out of her room and Nate whistled.

  “Hot damn, girl,” he applauded as she twirled for full effect. “If you don’t get laid tonight, then he is batting for my team.”

  “Nate, seriously?”

  He shrugged. “I’m just saying. You give me enough alcohol and I might even plow that.”

  “Ew, no. Just ew, you’re like my brother.”

  “Fine. You look devastatingly beautiful, darling,” he said in his best British accent and then double cheek kissed her.

  “That’s better, el creepo,” she answered as she walked downstairs and ran into Gran Mill who also was looking rather dressed up.

  “Gran? Where are you going?” Lyla asked.

  “Oh, the girls and I are going to the casino tonight,” she said excitedly. “Wish me luck! Maybe I’ll be a big winner.”

  “Millie, if you win big, then we are so going on a vacation to one of those all-inclusive resorts in the Caribbean,” Nate suggested.

  “Sure thing, dear. Ly, you have fun on your date. I want to hear every detail when you get back,” Gran Mill said. “I mean if you get back tonight.”

  “Gran, just, OK, have fun,” she corrected herself as she ushered her grandmother out the door before Amery arrived.

  “Well, I’m off to bed for a night of binge-watching,” Nate said.

  “But tomorrow’s a h
oliday, no Brian?” she asked.

  He shrugged. “He said he might stop over later,” Nate assured her.

  “OK, well, love ya,” she said and kissed his cheek before he padded off to his room.

  Chapter 11

  The doorbell rang, and she opened it to find Amery dressed in a nice pair of pants, button-down shirt, and dress shoes. His gaze traveled over her body. She felt slightly awkward but knew she looked as good as she could.

  “Wow, I mean, you look gorgeous, Lyla,” he said as he leaned down to kiss her cheek. She felt a blush crawl over her skin.

  “Thanks,” she said. “Nate made me play dress-up today.”

  “Well, he did good because you look phenomenal,” he insisted as he eyed her with appreciation once more. “Shall we?” He held out his arm and she grabbed her small clutch from the table, and then joined him as they walked to his car.

  She wanted to groan when she realized he had brought the infamous vomit car. He opened the door for her and then smirked. “Don’t worry, she got a thorough cleaning this week,” he teased.

  “Amery, I’m really—” she started, but he held up his hand cutting her off.

  “Don’t even worry about it. I’m just glad you’re alright,” he said. “You are feeling better, right? I keep meaning to ask about your head.”

  “Yeah, just a little bump. I’m fine,” she assured him. “I really just shouldn’t drink so much at once.”

  “I agree,” he said as he shut her door and walked to his side.

  He turned on music as they headed down the street. Imagine Dragons filled the silence of the car and she smiled.

  “Good song,” she commented.

  He grinned. “I just went to their concert,” he said.

  “Me too!” she squealed and then tried to tone it down. “It was good.”

  “They were fantastic!” Amery concurred enthusiastically. They continued to drive in silence for a few minutes.

  “Where are we going?” Lyla asked as he got on the highway.

  “A little place I know,” he answered cryptically.

  “What’s the name of the little place?” she asked him.