Chronicles of a Hot Mess

by S. E. Rose

  “I just talked to her. She’s fine, but I’m sure she’d love a visit. We need to spring her from that deathtrap as soon as humanly possible. It looks like a bad horror movie in there. Everyone is old and dying,” he said.

  “Nathan, that’s horrible,” she scolded.

  “Ly, I’m not trying to be a prick, but seriously, you’ll see,” he said.

  “Right. Well, I’ll be home in twenty,” she said.

  “Great. I have popcorn, and a new show to binge-watch or we could just watch a cheesy love mo—”

  “Nope, no love movies. I hope the show is a crime show,” she said adamantly.

  “Yep, done and done.”

  “K, see you soon,” she said as she pressed end on her steering wheel and cranked up the music in her car.

  Chapter 16

  “Gran Mill, it’s not that bad here,” Lyla tried to console her grandmother.

  “Sweetie, if I don’t get the fuck out of here, I’m going to be like one of those old ladies who breaks her hip and then dies ten days later,” Gran Mill moaned.

  “Fine, but not until at least Wednesday. I have to be in New York for work on Monday,” she explained. “Plus, you need to get more mobile before we can have you at home and one of us will need to be home with you at first.”

  Gran Mill threw a hand in her direction. “Don’t be silly, dear. Roger and Gertie said they could help out.”

  “Right, that’s just what you need,” Lyla groaned.

  “Lyla Elyse Perkins! You are going to be grounded, young lady,” Gran Mill scolded, but she couldn’t contain the smile that threatened her face.

  They both busted out laughing. “Oh, Gran, I have missed you this week. And I swear by everything holy, Nate and I will spring you from this joint as soon as possible.”

  Gran Mill patted her arm. “I know you two will. How’s that delicious-looking young man, Amery?”

  Lyla groaned and placed her head in her hands. “Gran. I sort of don’t know what to do.”

  “About?”

  “Well, my boss may have indicated he is into me also, and then Nate found out that Amery might be a manwhore. But I’d already promised him that I’d go with him to the gala tomorrow.”

  “Oh? A manwhore, says who?” Gran Mill asked, her eyes were now sparkling, and she was leaning forward. Lyla knew she should not have said anything. Gran Mill was the worst gossip ever. She knew the second she left, her conundrum would be all over the rehabilitation facility.

  “Says the internet,” she muttered.

  “Oh, pish posh. Don’t believe everything you read in the papers, that’s what I always say,” Gran Mill encouraged. “Plus, that Amery is hot. If I were a few decades younger, well...”

  “Gran, that’s gross. And besides, Amery...never mind. I shouldn’t have brought it up,” she said.

  “No, no, sweet girl. I’m glad you still feel like you can come chat with me about boy troubles. It makes me feel useful.”

  “So, what should I do?”

  “Which one do you like better? Oh, what’s your boss look like?” Gran asked. Lyla whipped out her phone and showed Gran a photo of Kevin.

  “He’s cute, but that Amery is, well, anyhow,” Gran Mill coughed as she corrected herself. “I think you should get to know them both better and decide. I remember once upon a time that there was another boy I liked, but he ended up being a real dick, and so I left him and got together with Grandpa.”

  “Seriously?” Lyla asked.

  “Yep. Graham was a total, what do you kids call it, cocksucker, motherfucker, no, oh, asshat?” Gran Mill grappled to find the right word and Lyla chuckled.

  “I think all of the above would apply,” she agreed.

  “Well, then you just pick what’s best for you, dearie. I mean it. You deserve to be happy, Lyla,” she said and there was the faintest hint of tears in her eyes.

  “Thanks, Gran Mill,” Lyla whispered.

  She headed back home and worked on coordinating the last few minor catastrophes that had popped up for the gala. By close of business, all was right with the world, except for figuring out how she would manage the predicament of the gala, her two potential suitors, and the fact that she might really like a manwhore.

  Chapter 17

  “Ouch!” Lyla yelled as B-Ray pulled her hair.

  “B-Ray! That hurts!” she said loudly in protest.

  “Girl, beauty equals pain,” B-Ray chastised as he yanked another strand into an intricately braided masterpiece on Lyla’s head.

  “I hate you,” Lyla grumbled under her breath.

  “Hey, how’s the beautification going?” Nate said, waltzing in and sitting on Lyla’s bed. B-Ray had been a hairdresser for years and was always messing around with Lyla’s hair. It was his fav pastime.

  “What’s wrong?” Lyla and B-Ray asked together when they saw the look on Nate’s face.

  Nate fell back on the bed. “Brian said we aren’t compatible. He dumped my ass.”

  “What?” “No?” Lyla and B-Ray spoke simultaneously and then gave each other a look that said they both hated Brian before and after this moment.

  “Yeah,” Nate muttered.

  “What a douchebag!” Lyla growled.

  “Sweetie, you can do so much better! That boy was a capital ‘L’ loser,” B-Ray encouraged.

  “Thanks, guys. I guess I’ll just have an ice cream hoarder TV binge night,” Nate sighed.

  “Hold on,” Lyla said, grabbing her phone. She called Amery, who had sent her a text late last night that he was looking forward to seeing her at the gala. She had responded with a “yep, see you there,” and left it at that.

  “Hey, Lyla,” Amery answered.

  “Hey, so this is a little awkward, but um, Brian broke up with Nate, and I want Nate to come to the gala,” Lyla started to explain.

  “Are you ditching me?” Amery asked, his voice laced with amusement.

  “Um, well, I, uh,” Lyla stammered.

  “Lyla, it’s alright. I understand. I want Nate to attend, too. I’ll see you there. I still get at least one dance, OK?” he said.

  “You’re not mad?” she squeaked.

  “No, I’m not mad, killer, not at all,” he replied.

  “Good. I’ll see you tonight then,” she said.

  “Tell Nate he owes me one,” Amery laughed.

  Lyla giggled. “Will do. Bye, Amery.”

  “Later, Lyla.”

  Lyla turned to Nate. “Get dressed. You’re gonna be my date. I hope you still have that tux you bought last year,” she told him.

  “What? Are you serious? But what about Amery?” he asked.

  She giggled again. “He says you owe him one.”

  Nate laughed a little at that. “OK, Ly. I’ll go, but only because you called off a date with a hottie for me.”

  She tossed her hand in the air. “I’d call off a hundred hotties for you, Nathan,” she said sweetly, and air kissed him.

  B-Ray chuckled. “Hold still, Miss Thang. I’m almost done, and then I gotta run. Don’t wanna be late to my ladies’ night.

  “There, all done,” he added and handed Lyla a mirror to look at her hair. “OK, go put on the ensemble, so I can see the full effect.”

  Lyla scrambled to her walk-in closet and put on the rest of her outfit, careful not to mess up her hair or makeup. She stepped back out and both men’s jaws dropped.

  “Honey, if you don’t have every gay and straight dick saluting you tonight, then those bitches are blind,” B-Ray said.

  “Hot damn, Lyla! I’m your brother and I’m gay and my dick still just twitched!” Nate exclaimed.

  “EW! Nathan! That’s disgusting!” Lyla cried.

  Nate and B-Ray started laughing.

  “Seriously, gross. Not even funny,” she grumbled.

  “OK, OK, chill, my lady,” Nate said in a singsong voice.

  Lyla rolled her eyes. “B-Ray, you ready?”

  B-Ray nodded and packed up his stuff, throwing on a total B-Ray p
arty ensemble as Nate tossed on a tux. All three were piled in B-Ray’s hatchback and off to D.C. for a night out. B-Ray was dropping them off on her way to a trannie poker night.

  They were there super early, but Kevin and Ellen had wanted her there. Nate was fine with sitting at the bar with B-Ray for a while before he had to leave for poker night.

  “Wow, you look amazing!” Kevin said when she walked into the gala ballroom.

  “Nice dress, Lyla,” Ellen commented.

  “Thanks. What can I do to help?” she asked as she looked around the ballroom.

  “Can you help Stewie and James set up the check-in table and make sure that the life-sized cut-out displays are properly set up in the entrance,” Ellen said.

  “I could use your help with the lighting setup when you’re done with that,” Kevin said.

  “Sure thing,” she said as she walked over to the other staff. They had hired a professional team to do everything, but Ellen was a perfectionist and wanted her staff involved up to the last minute.

  Lyla oversaw the setup of the entrance and when she was pleased that it was going well, she went to find Kevin.

  “Here, hold this just like that for a minute, so I can screw it down,” Kevin asked her as she walked up to him.

  She held a tripod in place, and he adjusted some screws.

  “There we go, all set,” he said.

  “Are you taking the photos tonight?” she asked him.

  “Nope, I have a colleague doing the photos, but I wanted to make sure it was set up to my liking.” He grinned.

  “Oh, won’t your colleague want to make adjustments,” she asked.

  “Maybe, but he’ll get my concept better if I show him what I’m trying to accomplish,” he said.

  A man about Kevin’s age walked over to them.

  “Hey, man, all set?” he asked Kevin.

  “Yep, see the lines I’m working with?” Kevin asked him.

  The man looked through the viewfinder on the camera.

  “Yep, I got you,” he said. He turned to Lyla then. “You must be Lyla.”

  “Oh, uh, yes,” she said offering her hand.

  “I’m George,” he introduced himself.

  “Nice to meet you, George,” she said.

  The three chatted for a few minutes before Ellen came by and asked for Lyla’s help with another project. About two hours later, everything was going smoothly, and Ellen dismissed them until showtime. She had one hour to go have a drink with Nate at the hotel bar, and then she needed to get her wits about her.

  She found Nate and B-Ray talking it up with the bartender, and she had to fight the urge to roll her eyes. They were always either making friends with the bartender or they were actually friends with the bartender. She pondered which one this was.

  “Hello there,” she said as she grabbed a stool next to Nate.

  “Hey, everything all set?” Nate asked.

  “Yep, for now. I could use a drink,” she said. She had no sooner said that when the bartender set a martini down in front of her. She looked up surprised and then recognized the woman.

  “Hey, Jackie!” she said warmly. Jackie used to work at a bar the three of them frequented a few years ago. She had heard Jackie had a new job but didn’t know where she’d ended up at.

  “Hey, Lyla! Long time no see. How the hell are you?” Jackie asked.

  “Oh, I’m good. How are you?”

  “Great. You know, living the life,” Jackie laughed. “Hopefully you still like that drink. Nate said you’d be here soon, so I took the liberty of making you a sour apple martini.”

  “It’s perfect. Thanks,” Lyla replied as she took a sip. And it was. Jackie made a mean martini.

  The three of them sat for the next hour and chatted on and off again with Jackie and then B-Ray excused herself.

  “Well, you ready to go?” Nate asked Lyla. She looked down at her phone.

  “Yep, I guess so,” she groaned.

  “It’ll be fine,” Nate encouraged and patted her leg.

  Lyla rolled her eyes. “Sure. I just need to survive the next four hours or so, and then I can go home and forget about whatever tragedy ensues this evening.”

  “Wow, drama queen much?” Nate asked.

  “Yes, I’m allowed to drama queen tonight,” she stated.

  “OK, fine, but just remember, you look hot as fuck and those men should be worshiping the ground you walk on,” he said. She nodded confidently. She had to admit, she did look damn hot.

  Chapter 18

  Amery

  Amery walked into the ballroom and surveyed the scene. He knew he was assigned to table ten, which was one table away from table seven, which was where Lyla was sitting. He had to admit, he was very disappointed when Lyla had called to bail on him, but then a mere hour ago Ward had called and said his date had also bailed. This gave Amery cause for celebration. Perhaps, he could finagle his way to Lyla’s table after all.

  Ward walked up behind him.

  “Hey, so what’s this brilliant plan you claimed to have?” he asked, with a raised eyebrow. About thirty nearby women visibly swooned at Ward and Amery fought the desire to roll his eyes. Women always were swooning over Ward. Yeah, he wasn’t blind, Ward was a good-looking guy, but seriously, it was like Ward’s known homosexuality didn’t even keep the ladies away. They all thought they could be the one to sway him, like fighting your genetics could magically change you. If that were the case, then after dying their hair blonde for a few months, it should just start to grow in that color.

  “I have a date for you,” Amery said.

  “Yeah, I got that part, but who?” Ward asked as Kent approached them. Kent had on his arm his flavor of the week, a far-too-young-looking socialite with enough silicone for several women.

  “Remember Nate, Lyla’s friend?” he asked him. Ward paused for a moment and then smiled.

  “Yeah, I remember him, he hung with us the other night,” Ward said, clearly remembering.

  “Well, his boyfriend broke it off with him today, and so Lyla invited him to cheer him up,” Amery said.

  Ward laughed. “Are you literally trying to pawn me off on your girl’s date, so she can spend time with you tonight?” he teased.

  “Absolutely, you game?” Amery said with a smirk.

  Ward shrugged. “Sure, Nate was cool, and he’s rocking some tight-ass abs under his clothes. So yeah, I’m down with it.”

  “Well, thank God he meets your ‘superficial’ checklist,” Amery said with an eye roll, but the eye roll stopped halfway, and his mouth dropped open.

  “What’s wrong?’ Kent asked as he approached them.

  “You OK there?” Ward asked, following Kent’s gaze and finding a shocked look on Amery’s face.

  Amery swallowed but didn’t immediately answer. The other two men and Kent’s date followed his gaze to Lyla, who was approaching them. Only Lyla wasn’t like they’d seen her before. She had been smoking hot at the club, but this was a whole new level of hot. Her dark hair was swept up into a sexy braided and twisted masterpiece, she wore a turquoise evening gown that looked to be custom made for her body, accentuating every curve in the most flattering way, and her makeup only highlighted the delicate features of her face, making her eyes radiant and her lips luscious. She was literally every man’s wet dream. Amery caught the motion of all males in the vicinity’s heads turning as Lyla, completely unassuming, made her way across the room.

  “Shit, she looks hot as fuck,” Kent muttered under his breath. His date poked him in the ribs. “Well, she does.”

  “I would switch teams for that,” Ward agreed with a nod.

  “Like fuck, you would,” Amery growled.

  Ward laughed. “Relax, tiger. I will do you a favor and hang out with the other smoking hot person approaching us,” he said as he eyed up Nate. “I could have fun with that,” he added giving Amery a wink.

  Amery visibly relaxed and patted Ward on the back. “Thanks, man, I appreciate it,” he said.
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  “It’s not like I’m not winning here. Nate looks hot as fuck as well,” he admitted.

  “Hey there,” Lyla said as she finally reached them.

  “Hi,” Amery answered first and leaned down to kiss her cheek. “You look edible, angel,” he whispered in her ear before pulling back. She had on four-inch high heels, which made her look not nearly as short as normal.

  “Nate, quick question,” Amery asked as Kent started introductions with his date, who ironically was named Angel.

  Nate leaned forward. “Sure, what’s up?”

  “Ward’s date couldn’t make it. I was wondering if you’d mind sitting at the table with him, and I could sit with Lyla,” he explained.

  “Uh, sure. No problem,” Nate said, but Amery could tell that he was more than amicable to this idea.

  “Great,” Amery said as he turned back to Lyla who was chatting politely with Angel. He leaned into her ear. “Ward’s date bailed. I’m having Nate sit with him.”

  He swore he felt Lyla tense under his touch on her shoulder but figured he must have misread that because she answered with an “OK.”

  After a few more introductions and chitchat, dinner was announced, and they made their way to the table. Kevin sat down next to Lyla and shook Amery’s hand.

  “I thought Nate was coming with you?” he asked.

  Lyla blushed. “Uh, he did, but then Ward’s date canceled, so Nate offered to sit with Ward, and so Amery’s at our table,” she tried to explain.

  “Oh?” Kevin said slowly as he sipped a champagne.

  Amery heard Kevin’s comments; he also saw the way Kevin was undressing Lyla with his eyes and he didn’t like it at all. He pushed aside the fact that he suddenly felt territorial, he’d deal with that mental issue later.

  “So, Lyla, about Monday, you said you could be there at nine, right?” Kevin continued.

  “Oh, uh, yes, absolutely. You can email the details tomorrow. Is there anything I need to help set up before Monday?” Lyla asked as waiters brought out the food.