by Ashley Beale
"I don't know if I even am," I answer in a whisper. "I find out in two more days."
"You are." She nods her head. "So who is the father? That Ben guy?"
I'm instantly laughing, shaking my head back and forth. "God, no!"
"Good." She rolls her eyes. "I'm pretty sure he's more in love with William than I am."
I peek over and it's true. He has been hooked to William from the beginning, discussing everything from baseball and hockey, to surfing, to school, to home life. They were instant best friends, except that William doesn't look half as caring as Ben does.
"So... who is the father?" She asks again as we continue walking with the crowd.
"I'm not legally allowed to answer you, but I'm trusting you with this secret wholeheartedly."
"You got it. I'm here for you."
"I'm surrogating for a couple. They're both famous, I didn't know the mother was until I looked her up online, but you of all people will know who the father is."
Her eyes widen. "What the hell, Monica. You weren't going to tell us? Or does Sumner know? She must."
She is far more enticed over the idea of me being a mom by choice for someone else, than who the parents are. "No one knows. Literally no one except the expecting parents and the agency. And now you."
She still looks completely bewildered. "I can't believe you are choosing this, and furthermore that you were planning on not telling us. What about school?"
My stomach twists. I hate feeling scolded, especially by a friend. Penelope has always been the smart one- well, book smart that is. We've bumped heads because she mothers us all, but doesn't take our advice. We've never actually had a fight or anything, we always agree to disagree. All of that is why I never put her down as a supporter on my list. I'm hoping this doesn't start our first fight, because it's obvious already she isn't going to support any of this.
"I'm doing it so I can stay in school."
"The money? You're doing it for the money?"
"Mainly."
She looks ahead for a few minutes while we keep walking. We're almost to Mythos’s. She pauses for a second, letting the crowd get ahead of us even further. "So not even your mom knows?"
I shake my head to answer.
She pouts her lips while her eyes read my face. She is thinking of some solution, I can see it in her expression. With a deep intake of breath, she starts to nod her head slowly. "Okay. You're a smart person, I trust that you did enough research on it all. It's not going to be easy, so I'm not going to make it any harder on you. But a word of advice, tell everyone... and soon."
"I plan to, after the ultrasound."
"Good."
We start walking again, a difference in the air around us. As we approach the restaurant where everyone already is, I whisper, "Thank you." She took me completely by surprise, and I appreciate her efforts in making me feel better about my decision.
"You're welcome. So, again, who is the father?" She grins with a wicked gleam in her eye.
"You've heard of Leon Owens, right?"
"Holy... shit. Seriously? And the mom?"
"Ellie Delacroix."
"Oh, yeah, my mom watches her YouTube channel." Her YouTube channel is where her fame stemmed from, almost ten years ago when she made weekly in-home cooking tutorials, but over the recent years she has been able to play small roles in TV shows, and more recently stared in a music video. "She seems really nice."
I give her a sideways look. "She's a bitch. She's fake and tries to be friendly, but I don't like her." And it's not for the sake that she's with Leon, either. Whom hasn't been to any of the appointments due to the current movie he is filming.
"So tell me about Leon," Penelope says.
We're at Mythos’s now though, and I don't want to go much into detail, for the sake I don't want people overhearing, so I'm quick with my answer. "Haven't gotten to know him yet, but he is insanely gorgeous."
"You could say that again." Placing her hand on my shoulder, she gives me a small push to walk in front of her, and we both enter into the dining area. Everyone else is standing off to the side waiting for a booth to open up. "And your secret is safe with me."
"Thank you.”
And with that, I feel a weight lifted from my shoulders. At least one person knows now, and she isn't insanely upset about it as I had imagined she would be. The added bonus is that we're going to be pregnant together and experience so many incredible moments side by side.
The only two open seats at the booth are next to Ben and William, and obviously Penelope takes the seat next to her fiancé, so I have no choice except to sit next to Ben. He doesn't say anything to me when I sit, instead he pays extra attention to his menu. I'm going to punch Sumner next time we're alone for this.
When the waitress comes over, we order a round of appetizers, while the guys all order a beer. I'm thankful when Sumner and Rochelle hold out on ordering drinks, so I don't feel obligated nor uncomfortable. We all start to chat about this and that while we wait for the food, then when it's done, our group heads over to the other side of the diner where the pool tables and loud music are.
The guys take the first round of billiards while us ladies all relax. Rochelle instantly starts in on Penelope about her pregnancy. "So did you guys plan it?" She asks.
"No, not at all actually." She glances in William's direction. "I was in the bathroom the other day preparing conversations in the mirror about how to break up with him. It hasn't been working, and ever since the engagement, there has been this weird... vibe, I guess you could say, between us. Suddenly I felt nauseous, so I ran to the toilet and starting throwing up. I don't even know what happened, but I woke up about twenties minutes later on the bathroom floor. I assume I had fainted. I yelled for him to bring me into the ER, and when they ran the blood test, we found out."
"Ouch," Sumner states. "So you're staying for the baby?"
"I guess." She shrugs. "I mean, I need to try for the baby. Who knows? We could be going through a rough patch. We're closing in on year seven, which for most couples is the hardest time in their relationship, so I'm hoping this will bring a new meaning to everything, as individuals and together."
"I think it's great," I tell her. "You're a smart person, you got this."
Rochelle chuckles. "I don't think I've ever heard you compliment Penny before. I don't mean to laugh, but it's kind of funny hearing you being all sweet. You jealous?"
"Jealous? Why would I be jealous?"
Penelope jumps in as Rochelle opens her mouth. "She's just making me feel better about something I've felt unsure about it."
Rochelle eyes us warily. "Okay. You two are up to something. And I want in!" She grins wickedly.
Sumner gives me a sideways glance before turning towards the billiards table. I don't like the look she sent my way.
Things quiet down between us all, so we watch the guys play. Once they finish up, the four of us girls set up for our own game. Rochelle and Penelope win, probably because Sumner seems uncaring the whole time suddenly, and quite honestly, I suck at playing.
After that William and Ben head over to play some darts. Rochelle and Derik go out on the dance floor, each with a new beer. Sumner snuggles with Gunther at a small round table, and I sit with Penelope feeling lonely. She doesn't seem to mind being left out of things, but I am ready to call it a night and head home. Especially since Sumner randomly seems to be ignoring me.
In the distance I hear a laugh, one that is instantly recognizable... and fake.
Peeking over in the distance I see Ellie, enjoying a frozen blue drink with two other females and some guy. She is throwing her head back in laughter, but even from here I can see the efforts in her trying to look joyous when in fact, I don't think she is at all.
Then my body becomes responsive to my surroundings, my hair standing on end. Leon rounds the corner with a drink in hand, his focus solely on the table where his girlfriend and friends are sitting. He slides into the booth next to Ellie, and I pathetica
lly watch. That is... until he is suddenly glancing in my direction.
I quickly avert my eyes, not wanting to get caught, but I think it's too late.
His incredible masculine scent overtakes my surroundings before I hear his deep voice say my name. I peek up at him as he towers over me. He looks as though he's had a few drinks, his eyes are little more narrow than normal, but when he talks he speaks with as much liveliness as normal.
"What are you doing here?" he asks.
I glance next to me where Penelope sits, she stares at him with awe, her mouth gaped a little. I look back up to him, my stomach coiling, preventing me from speaking for a few seconds. Then I gather the courage to squeak out the most pathetic statement. "I walked."
Leon cocks his head to the side. "You walked? From your house?"
"No, from down the beach a little."
"You drinking?" He looks at the table next to me for a quick second before staring deeply into my eyes once more. It's hard to focus when he does that. He makes me want to cling to him like a cat being put into the bath. I'm not sure I would let go of him if my nails were able to dig into him the way I desire for them to.
After a second, I shake my head, feeling embarrassed by my lack of confidence and willpower. He is in a relationship... and his girlfriend is fifteen feet from us... and he is paying to have a child with her. I need to stop this nonsense, pull myself together, and realize that he is only concerned and asking questions, because he knows it's possible I'm pregnant with his child.
"Good," he says. Looking at Penelope for the first time, he starts to lift his lips into a smile, and in that moment I realize that smile isn't meant for me at all, like I had yearned for the first time I met him. "I'm Leon Owens, and you are?" He puts his hand out to shake hers.
She gladly accepts the gesture, even though within an instant William is standing next to her with his alpha stance, trying to mark his territory. I want to tell him he has nothing to worry about, but I understand his need to. There is no denying who the more attractive one is. "Penelope. One of Monica's best friends. And how is it that you know Monica?"
When she quirks a brow I instantly want to give her a dead leg. She knows who he is, we literally talked about this right before coming into Mythos’s. She simply wants him to say it out loud, but I don't want him to. Not in front of Sumner and Rochelle.
His smile lifts further into a breath taking full grin. "Let's just say we're acquainted." He looks back to me, giving me perfect eye contact again. I'm not used to the feeling it gives me. I shouldn't feel this way, but my palms instantly start to sweat and I swear my body is shaking, except I'm not cold. No, if anything I'm overheating.
He starts to say something to me, but in that exact moment Ellie makes herself present, holding onto Leon's arm predatorily. "Oh, hey Monica. Didn't except to see you here. Having a good fourth?" She says it with grace, so much so you wouldn't have a clue that she normally says snarky remarks to me.
"Yeah, it's been nice," I answer. I can speak with her just fine, it's Leon I have trouble forming words with. "How about you?"
"Oh, wonderful. Leon and I always have such a great time on the fourth of July. We help with a parade in the morning, we serve lunch to veterans in the afternoon, then we spend the evening with friends. It's such a wonderful tradition we cannot wait to share with someone even more special next year." She eyes my stomach for all of two seconds, spreading her lips into a cocky smile. It almost irritates me that they did something so admirable such as serving lunch to veteran's, because I want to hate her even more than I already do, but with something like that, I can't. I have to accept what is, and merely smile.
"Good. I'm glad to hear. I hope you both enjoy the rest of the evening."
She eyes me all over for a second, her smile breaking, and a look of uncertainty taking over. "You look... sick. Are you feeling alright? You should probably head home and rest your head."
"I think she looks fine," Penelope jumps in. "I think she's over exhausted is all. I'm the pregnant one of the bunch, and she's been taking care of me. Pretty soon the two of us are going to head back and relax, while everyone else stays out and parties."
Penelope once again takes me by surprise, and I'm beyond grateful for it. Ellie on the other hand doesn't seem impressed at all. She gives Penny the same look I'm always receiving when Ellie doesn't think anyone is noticing, before quickly cutting her eyes back to me. "Oh. Well. Good. Enjoy your night." Looking up to Leon, who is eyeing the guys we're with- all of whom has stopped doing what they're doing to pay attention to what is happening in front of me. "Babe, we should get back to our company. We're being rude."
"Yeah." He glances over at Ellie. "Sorry. Let's go." They start to step away as Leon takes one more look at me, this time he is racking my entire body over.
It isn't until they're seated back at their booth, paying no mind of me at all, that I can breathe again. That is, until I look over to see absolutely every one of my friends staring at me. Sumner steps up in front of me, her eyes widened. "Bathroom. Now." And to say she sounds pissed would be the greatest understatement.
As soon as the bathroom door closes, she starts in on me. "What the hell was that? What aren't you telling me?!"
"I... just... it's..." I stutter, unable to tell her the truth. Because how do I do that?
"You just, it's... it's what? You're not telling me something!" Her voice grows louder.
Bowing my head, I say, "I didn't want to tell you yet."
"That you're sleeping with Leon fucking Owens?"
"What?" I lift my head, almost wanting to laugh, except that she truly looks furious with me. "No. No, it's not like that."
"Then what is it like?"
Suddenly the door opens, and in walks Rochelle with Penelope behind her. The door closes once more and Penelope shakes her head at Sumner. "Stop it. Let her explain."
"Oh, because suddenly the two of you are so damn buddy buddy. What? Are you knocked up too?" Sumner glances at me, the sarcasm on her face contours into seriousness. "Wait... you're pregnant? With Leon fucking Owens’ kid?"
I roll my eyes. "It's complicated."
"How is that complicated? It's pretty fucking simple to me."
"Let her explain, Sumner," Penelope repeats.
"Damn, y'all, this is entertaining." Rochelle leans against the wall, overlooking the catfight.
I hate that this is how I have to tell her. "I don't know if I'm pregnant."
"So you did sleep with him?"
"No."
"Then... what?" Sumner crosses her arms over her chest, completely annoyed, confused, and angry. Maybe even a few other things too, but I'm not going to guess everything, because currently I'm trying to figure out how to tell her truth.
Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes. "I decided to surrogate for them."
The entire bathroom goes completely silent.
After a second, I open my eyes to look at Sumner. Her jaw is ticking back and forth, but I can't read her thoughts.
"So..." Rochelle starts in. "You are pregnant or you're planning to get pregnant, or what? Because I'm fucking lost."
Penelope sighs for me. "She doesn't know if she is pregnant, but she is trying to carry a child for them. It's a beautiful gesture, and something completely selfless but terrifying. She was going to tell us all this week, I happened to guess beforehand, that is the only reason I know already. Let's all support her. She needs us."
"Not too much, apparently. She can't even ask her best friend for advice or tell her the truth." Sumner's words slice through me. "Don't bother calling me." She opens the bathroom door, slamming it on her way out.
We all jump at the sound, then look at one another. I'm waiting for someone to say anything, because God knows I can't think of anything to say. Finally Rochelle whispers, "Well, I'm certainly not one to judge. I lived in Sin City, I have a lot of secrets." She winks at me, trying to break the ice.
Penelope runs her hand over my shoulder. "It may seem imp
ossibly tough right now, but Sumner will come around, and you still got us. It'll all be okay, I promise."
I appreciate her efforts and want to swim in her words, but right now... I'm not sure what the hell I got myself into.
Chapter Six
July 27th
Two days after the Fourth it was confirmed through blood work that I am in fact pregnant. Although I previously had that gut intuition that I was prior to the test, it was a surreal moment to actually hear those words. "It was successful. You are officially pregnant!" I wanted to cry with happiness, and possibly a bit out of fear as well. But what really set my emotions off was when Ellie jumped into Leon's arms and cried out, "We're pregnant! We're having a baby!"
I get her excitement, and I'm truly happy for them. I'm simply being a big, giant baby about it all, and it made me feel wretched that I don't actually have anyone to share the excitement with, because it's not actually my baby. I obviously knew that from the beginning, but hearing it said out loud and experiencing it the way I did was still pretty displeasing.
In part it had to do with watching Ellie and Leon, the way their faces both lit up. Watching them share their kiss, and knowing that they're going to be an adorable, happy family. It does bring a sense of excitement to me, to know that I am the cause of their happiness. That because of me, they're able to be a family at all. It really is an incredible feeling. It's just... a pathetic, insecure part of me wishes I were Ellie, and this was mine and Leon's.
I've practiced over these three weeks to erase those feelings. There is absolutely no reason I should feel that way, and I blame them fully on the hormones. I also blame some of my gloominess on the fact that Sumner still has not spoken with me since the fourth. She won't return any of my phone calls or texts, and when I showed up at her house last week, her mom swore up and down Sumner was gone, even though her car was in the driveway.
It's been tough, but surprisingly I've had Penelope to help me with a lot. She picked up a part time job for the summer, and thankfully for them William is working full time for his father's country club, so they'll have more than enough money for when the baby comes. Currently they're working on finding their own place, rather than staying with William's dad like they've been doing the last year.
