Trust Me

by Claire Raye

  Trust Me

  A Hawthorn Hills Duet

  Adam and Mila Book Two

  Claire Raye

  Copyright © 2021 by Claire Raye

  www.claireraye.com

  Trust Me

  Adam and Mila Book Two

  Cover Photograph by Lindee Robinson

  Cover Design by Amy Queau of QDesign

  All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission from the author. Please do not participate in or encourage the piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. All characters and storylines are the property of the author and your support and respect is appreciated. The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarities to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

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  Chapter One: Mila

  Chapter Two: Adam

  Chapter Three: Mila

  Chapter Four: Adam

  Chapter Five: Mila

  Chapter Six: Adam

  Chapter Seven: Mila

  Chapter Eight: Adam

  Chapter Nine: Mila

  Chapter Ten: Adam

  Chapter Eleven: Mila

  Chapter Twelve: Adam

  Chapter Thirteen: Mila

  Chapter Fourteen: Adam

  Chapter Fifteen: Mila

  Chapter Sixteen: Adam

  Chapter Seventeen: Mila

  Chapter Eighteen: Adam

  Chapter Nineteen: Mila

  Chapter Twenty: Adam

  Chapter Twenty-One: Mila

  Chapter Twenty-Two: Adam

  Chapter Twenty-Three: Mila

  Chapter Twenty-Four: Adam

  Chapter Twenty-Five: Mila

  Chapter Twenty-Six: Adam

  Chapter Twenty-Seven: Mila

  Chapter Twenty-Eight: Adam

  Chapter Twenty-Nine: Mila

  Chapter Thirty: Adam

  Chapter Thirty- One: Mila

  Chapter Thirty-Two: Adam

  Chapter Thirty-Three: Mila

  Chapter Thirty-Four: Adam

  Chapter Thirty-Five: Mila

  What’s Next?

  Your Free Books are Waiting!

  Other Books by Claire Raye

  About the Author

  Acknowledgments

  Chapter One

  Mila

  I hear Adam calling my name, but his voice is muffled like he’s far away or like I’m far away. I can’t place myself, and what’s happening feels like a dream. I’m moving in slow motion and everything around me sounds like background noise. My eyes close and open, but my lids feel so heavy that I can’t keep up the movement. They just want to close.

  I’m desperate for sleep.

  What was once bathed in flashing lights has now fallen dark. I’m tired and sleep feels so much easier than trying to force myself awake.

  It’s all a dream.

  In the darkness I see his face. Adam’s perfectly beautiful face, and his hazel eyes that call to me, making me feel safe. I want him to take me in his arms and hold me and tell me what is happening because all I feel is confusion. I know I love him, and I hope he loves me, and what is happening here is all a dream. It’s a dream that I can’t seem to wake up from.

  Where am I?

  I was at The Last Drop and now I can’t recall what happened after that. It was my birthday, my twenty-first birthday or maybe it wasn’t. Maybe I dreamt it all.

  The air burns my nose and lungs with the smell of something bitter and hot, but as I take in a breath, it’s painful and the air won’t fill my lungs. It’s as if someone is standing on my chest and I reach out for help, but there’s no one there.

  I open my mouth, but no sound comes out and I call for Adam, my words lost in the noise that has now grown even louder. Sirens and horns blare, the voices are yelling, and now I’m moving. My body is being shifted around and I hear Adam scream my name again.

  I call out to him again and again, but the words stay stuck; something isn’t right. He’s panicked, I can hear it in his voice, the shakiness that comes with each call of my name, and then he’s gone.

  “Mila, Mila,” an unknown voice says, and I turn toward it. I can’t see their face; it’s just a blur of darkness and suddenly there’s a sharp, stabbing pain in the side of my body.

  I try to shift away from it, but I’m being held in place. I scream out loud, calling out to no one, wondering if what’s happening to me can be heard by anyone else. Wondering if I’m reliving my past and what happened to me in Tahoe. It all feels far too similar.

  “Mila, this will help,” the voice says now, and within seconds my body feels lighter, and I can breathe again, the air filling my lungs, but the pain in my chest still remains. The voice is soothing and calm which feels strange because everything around me feels out of control. “You’ve been in an accident,” the man’s voice states, and my brain tries to process what he’s telling me, but I’m lost and confused.

  An accident?

  And then I remember getting into the Uber with Adam, both of us a little drunk, and ready to go home, but something obviously happened, something I have very little memory of, something that is still happening now.

  All I can think about is Adam. Where is he? Is he okay? My heart is breaking, shattering into a million pieces as I think about Adam being hurt or worse yet, dead. This can’t be happening.

  I’m moving again, this time faster and the sound of sirens blare, loud and ear piercing.

  “Where am I?” I manage to splutter out as someone places something over my face. I paw at it, trying to move it, trying to ask my question again, but a hand holds it against me, and I’m overcome with a smell that stings my nose.

  “An ambulance,” someone finally answers. “Just try to relax. Take a few deep breaths…” The person continues to talk, their voice now garbled, and my eyes close, pulling me into the darkness.

  It’s a dream.

  It has to be a dream.

  Chapter Two

  Adam

  It feels like forever that I sit in the waiting room, covered in Mila’s blood, but having no clue what’s happening to her or what’s going on or if she’s alright.

  Caleb sits silently beside me, thankfully not asking me any questions about what happened or trying to spin some bullshit about everything being okay. It’s like he knows I can’t hear that shit right now, that it’s not going to help and it’s most definitely not going to make me feel better. Not when I already feel completely destroyed by this.

  Ruby disappeared about an hour ago, getting called back by a nurse who didn’t even look at me when she came out to the waiting area. It had taken everything I had in me not to try and go with her, not to scream and beg and plead and do anything I could just so I could see Mila. Ruby had promised she’d get me back there, but so far nothing.

  Caleb’s phone chimes out with a text and from the corner of my eye, I watch as he pulls it from his pocket to c
heck the message. “Just Reid and Sie checking in,” he says, by way of explanation as he types out a response to them.

  Where the fuck is Ruby and why the hell is this taking so long?

  My leg taps rhythmically, my body humming with a nervous energy that just won’t dissipate. It feels so eerily similar to how I felt a year ago that I have to force myself to remain seated. The urge to bolt, to run as far as possible, because if I’m not here to see it, it can’t be real, is almost overwhelming.

  How the hell can this be happening again?

  Why?

  Suddenly Ruby appears and both Caleb and I stand, my phone falling to the floor with a clatter. Caleb bends to pick it up for me as Ruby walks toward us.

  “She’s okay,” she says, her hand on my arm. “She’s on some meds, but she’s awake and asking for you.”

  “Can I…can I see her?”

  Ruby smiles. “Yes, you can. Come on.” She turns to Caleb, who steps toward her, pulling her close as he presses a kiss to her forehead.

  “I’ll wait here. Tell her hi from me, wish her…” he trails off, as though he’s uncertain about what to say. I can’t imagine any of this is easy for him either. Months and months ago it was him covered in blood and struggling to make sense of things.

  I wonder if this is bringing up bad memories for him too.

  “I will,” Ruby whispers, looking up at him as they share a private moment. She presses up on her toes then, kissing him quickly before she turns back to me and says, “Come on.”

  Caleb hands me my phone and I follow Ruby silently through the doors I was previously stopped from going through. We walk wordlessly down a short corridor before Ruby turns and leads me past a series of doors until she finally stops in front of an open one.

  My heart pounds inside my chest, my body wracked with guilt and nerves and fear over what I’m about to see when I walk into this room. Ruby hasn’t said anything, hasn’t prepared me for what I might find or how Mila is going to look and I’m fucking terrified in this moment, my whole body shaking.

  “Go,” Ruby urges, her hand on my back.

  I suck in a deep breath as I step into the room.

  My eyes move to the bed that sits in the center of it and then to Mila. Her body bruised and battered, as it lies there, wires and tubes running from beneath the sheets to machines that beep and hum all around her. Her eyes are closed as though she’s sleeping, and she looks so unbelievably fragile, that I’m almost too scared to step closer.

  “I’ll give you a few minutes,” Ruby whispers, her hand on my back again as she gently pushes me closer.

  I hear the sound of the door closing behind me, but I don’t take my eyes off Mila as she lies in the bed, her eyes still closed and unaware of the fact that I’m in the room. I can hear the steady beat of the machines telling me she’s still alive as I move closer.

  Up close I can see that the bruises on her face and arms are so dark, the purple-black patches mottling her skin and making my heart ache. Aside from her blood all over my shirt, I’m virtually untouched and everything about that feels so fucking unfair.

  Her right wrist is in a cast, her left hand unscathed and lying flat against the white sheet. I gently lift it as I pull a chair close to the bed and sit down. Pressing a kiss to the inside of her wrist, I close my eyes, breathing her in.

  “Adam?”

  My eyes fly open and I lift my head to find Mila awake and watching me. “Hey, baby,” I whisper, her hand in both of mine. “How are you feeling, are you in pain, can I get—”

  “I’m okay,” she whispers, her voice raw and scratchy. “I’m just glad you’re here. Are you okay?”

  I shake my head, even as I tell her, “I’m better now.”

  Mila smiles and it almost breaks me. “What happened?” she asks. “Tonight, what happened?”

  I take another deep breath, the memories of tonight, memories from a year ago, both still so fresh and now blurring together in a way that makes it hard to work out which belongs to which. “Car accident,” I start, my heart pounding hard in my chest. “Someone blew through a…” I pause, not knowing what happened exactly. A red light? A stop sign? I can’t remember, don’t know if I was ever told. I blink slowly, shoving the memories away. “Hit your side of the car,” I continue, swallowing hard as I force myself to just get the words out, no matter how hard they are to say. “You were…you…”

  “Oh, Adam,” Mila says, pulling her hand from mine as she reaches toward my face, her fingers brushing against my cheeks, which are somehow wet with tears. “It’s okay. I’m okay,” she whispers.

  “No, you’re not,” I say, shaking my head. “Look at you.”

  Mila tries to sit up, wincing as she shuffles herself higher against the pillows. “Come here,” she says, tugging on my hand.

  I stand, moving so I can sit on the bed beside her. I want to crawl under the sheets, pull her into my arms and hold her close. Never letting her go.

  Mila wraps her arms around my shoulders, her hand brushing the hair back from my face as she buries her face in my neck. “It’s okay,” she whispers, her breath hot against my skin. “It’s going to be okay.”

  It’s like she knows. Like she somehow knows this is about more than just what happened tonight. As though she can sense it, see it in me, like always. I turn my face into her, inhaling deeply, needing to be close to her. Needing her to know.

  “There’s something I—”

  My words are cut off by the door opening and I pull back to find a nurse walking in, with Ruby close behind. I stand from the bed, Mila’s hand still in mine as the nurse walks over, a clipboard in her hand.

  “Hi, Mila,” she says, offering a tired smile. “I just need to take a quick medical history, okay? There’s a chance we may need to operate on that ankle of yours, so just in case.”

  Mila glances up at me, a nervous look on her face. “Okay,” she replies, turning back to the nurse.

  She runs through some basic questions about Mila’s history, date of birth, medication use, allergies, any existing medical conditions. None of it is a surprise to me, even the fact that Mila is on the pill. We’ve been together long enough that I’ve noticed she takes it, even if we’ve never actually discussed it.

  “Okay and pregnancies?”

  My head snaps up at that one, looking first at the nurse and then at Mila, who swallows hard, her hand tightening in mine as she answers, “One.”

  I feel my body start to shake again, my grip on her loosening as the room suddenly feels like it’s a million degrees.

  This can’t be fucking happening.

  “And number of live births?” the nurse asks, apparently oblivious.

  There’s a pause, the room weirdly silent despite the noise of the machines. “None,” Mila finally says, as my head now starts to spin, nausea filling my gut.

  “Miscarriage?”

  I don’t hear any more, the screaming in my head drowning everything out as Mila’s hand falls from mine. I swallow hard just so I don’t throw up, as the room starts to spin, the walls closing in on me as everything turns blurry.

  What the fuck am I doing here?

  I can’t do this.

  Not again.

  Not now.

  I turn, my body on autopilot as I walk toward the door, the voices calling my name muted, as though they’re coming from somewhere far away.

  I don’t know where I’m going or how I get out of there, but before I can even begin to process it, I’m standing outside the hospital, the cool air hitting me, reminding me of a night over a year ago. Of all the things that happened and all the things it did to me.

  Of how much it hurt and how I know I can’t go through that again.

  Not ever again.

  And then I turn, and I start to run.

  As hard as I fucking can.

  Chapter Three

  Mila

  I watch him walk out of the room, leaving me, turning
his back on us and everything we ever had. My body aches, painful and stabbing, and it’s not just from the accident. It’s the feeling of my heart shattering into a million pieces, it’s the idea that I’ve once again fucked up. It’s written all over me, it’s seared deep inside that I’m not meant for happiness. I was born a disaster.

  I can still hear the judgmental gasp of my name from Ruby’s lips as I admitted my medical history to the nurse who has since left the room. There’s no way she didn’t feel the bubble of surprise burst when I told her I had terminated a pregnancy. I don’t fear her judgment, but what I fear is that I’ve lost Adam forever.

  “Mila,” Ruby says, her voice quiet yet still somehow screaming in my ears, loud and filled with more than I want to try to unpack. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Tell you what? Tell you exactly what you already thought of me? That I was a fuck up who slept around? Yeah, everyone wants that validated in their life.”

  “Seriously, Mila—” Ruby starts, but I can’t bring myself to hear what she’s going to say.

  “My life isn’t a fucking country song where we have a shotgun wedding and are married for thirty years. It’s real and it’s fucked up and yeah, I made a decision that was based solely on how it would affect my life. It was my choice, and it was absolutely the right choice for me even if everyone around me thinks it was so fucking wrong.”

  “Can you stop for a second?” Ruby barks, her hand on her hips and any semblance of sympathy is gone. The pity she was projecting has been replaced by anger with her jaw clenched tightly and her hand tightening around my arm.

  “I couldn’t exist as both a college student and a mother,” I whisper, the words barely making their way out before I start sobbing. “It was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make, but that doesn’t mean I regret it.”

  Ruby climbs into bed next to me, nearly sitting on top of me as she lies down and rests her head on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling. The warmth of her body comforts me in a way I never expected. While Ruby and I have always been close, we don’t share things with each other. It’s not in our nature, it’s honestly not really in our family’s nature either. Ruby has always been more open with our parents, but I attribute that to the fact that she wasn’t always in trouble growing up. You learn to skate alongside the truth, revealing only enough to pave the way for the reality.