Starting from Scratch

by Marie Ferrarella

  “Intelligently,” he pointed out. “I don’t need them to stand around mouthing platitudes they think I want to hear.” He looked disgusted by the very thought. “Most of all, I like being left alone.”

  She wondered if he was trying to give her a message, or just playing according to type. In either case, she wasn’t about to change her mind about this latest decision she’d made. “Sorry about that. Not going to happen.”

  The disgruntled look didn’t quite come off. His eyes weren’t shooting lightning bolts. In fact, he looked just a shade pleased by this new turn of events. Which in turn pleased her no end.

  “Then you’re still going to insist on sticking your nose into my writing.” It was more of a statement than a question on his part.

  She inclined her head, indicating that he was right. “That’s what they pay me for.”

  He took a step closer. She could feel her heart begin beating just a hair faster. “It’s also a good way to get that pretty little nose of yours hurt.”

  She grinned, taking a step closer of her own. Their breaths began to mingle. “Oh, I think I’ll take my chances.”

  After a moment, he stepped back, but only to get a better perspective. It didn’t help answer his question. “There’s something different about you.”

  “That’s what you said the last time.” She watched his eyebrow rise again. “When I came over to play poker,” she added.

  He shrugged, pretending not to remember. Pretending that it wasn’t his way to remember everything about everything. “Then it was your clothes and your hair. Now it’s…” His voice trailed off. “I’m not sure.”

  “My aura?” she supplied with a grin that could have only been described as impish. For some reason, the word fit her. She seemed a lot younger now than when he’d first met her. Weren’t kids supposed to age you?

  “I don’t use words like that,” he fairly growled, dismissing the term as pretentious. Sutherland circled her slowly, like a soldier trying to take every possible avenue of attack into consideration. “Just something,” he murmured.

  “That doesn’t sound very descriptive. And you call yourself a writer,” she scoffed with a laugh that settled in her eyes as she turned to look at him.

  He was a very virile, very masculine man. He radiated manliness from every pore. Not to mention that he was attractive as hell to boot. Even when she’d felt dead sexually, convinced that part of her life was over, there’d been this “something” going on inside her whenever she was around the man. Maybe it was attraction, maybe something else. She wasn’t sure. All she knew was that whatever that “something” was, it had grown to adult-size proportions and she was suddenly aware of it. Very aware of it.

  “I call myself a man first,” he replied to her gibe.

  His eyes were so intense, she thought her knees were going to buckle again, the way they almost had when he’d kissed her.

  Nope, definitely not dead yet, she thought.

  The words left her lips slowly, each measured before its release. “Funny, that was the term that came to mind for me, too.”

  His eyes on hers, he toyed with a strand of her hair. Things began to liquefy in her body.

  “What else came to mind?”

  As liquid as the rest of her had suddenly become, her mouth felt dry. Breathing became something she had to prompt herself to do. “I’m not sure I follow.”

  “You don’t follow, Max, you lead,” he told her. And she was very good at it, too. She’d gotten him to revise some of his manuscript, hadn’t she? No one had ever done that before. “But you’re not going to lead me,” he warned, moving back as if to get a better view of the woman who was invading his territory. “Not around by the nose. I want to get that out in the open right now.”

  “It’s out.” Her mouth curved. She was beginning to feel warm, really warm. So warm that she was surprised her clothes weren’t melting off her body.

  “Good. Now come here.”

  Like someone who was hypnotized, she took a step, then abruptly stopped. It wasn’t going to go this way. However brief this encounter, it was going to be memorable. For him as well as for her. “Now you.”

  His eyes narrowed. “What?”

  She held her ground. Because she had to. “Step for step. Equal.”

  One corner of his mouth rose just a little. “You going to edit everything?”

  She was moving blindly into uncharted territory but the steps felt right. Very right. Her eyes crinkled into another smile. It matched the one that she felt blossoming inside. “Only if I absolutely need to.”

  “I’ve never had any complaints.”

  She felt herself getting lost in his ice-blue eyes. It took effort to anchor herself in place. “You never had an editor before.”

  The list of women that had passed through his life was extensive. There might have been an editor in the lot, but he didn’t know that for a fact. The exchange of information hadn’t seemed very important at the time. “Not that I’m aware of.”

  “You’ll be aware, Ryan, you’ll be very aware.” She had no idea where this sexual bravado was coming from, only that she meant the promise she’d just made him.

  His arm around her waist, Ryan pulled her to him. His mouth came down on hers as a rarefied excitement began to throb through his veins.

  CHAPTER 36

  The heat flared instantly.

  And with it came the realization that maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t in control of anything. Not the way she’d wanted to be.

  From the moment she’d seen Ryan standing in her doorway she’d known the visit could only end one way. Maybe she’d even known it before she’d gotten into Henry’s car and driven over here.

  Even when she’d disassociated herself from Randolph & Sons and concentrated only on her responsibilities as Andrea and Beth’s sole guardian, miscellaneous thoughts about Sutherland had cropped up in her head. Thoughts that had nothing to do with their former relationship as author and editor.

  Thoughts that dwelled on the man’s masculinity.

  As he kissed her now, she felt more alive than she had in years, except for that one aberration the night of the poker game. He’d almost succeeded in making her forget herself, forget her obligations. Forget everything except the rush inside her.

  Just like the one she was feeling right now.

  Even when she and Garry had lived together, she’d never experienced this sort of an unbridled thrill rampaging through her. The very tips of her fingers were tingling in anticipation of what was to come.

  Fingers, hell, her whole body was tingling. Tingling, priming. Waiting.

  The air left her lungs, taking along what little there was left of her sanity. She didn’t care. Her arms went around his neck as she clung to the moment, to the sensation. To the man.

  Ryan deepened the kiss, drawing her out of her skin and into a place that was hot and tumultuous and exciting as hell. Her body throbbing, she pressed it against his. And felt the hard outline of his anticipation. Hot spots began popping up all over her, feeding a growing frenzy that had leaped out of left field and held her in its grip, making her into a willing prisoner.

  It took effort to curtail the moan that almost escaped her lips. She felt his arms tighten around her. Her core moistened. Preparing.

  This was a surprise. At his age, given the kind of life he’d led, he hadn’t thought there were any of those left for him, but he’d obviously been wrong. Elisha Reed was a surprise. He had no idea that there was this wild creature beneath the tailored designer suits.

  Oh, he’d felt a degree of attraction to her, but that was because of the way she’s stood up to him, the way she held her own when he’d tried to browbeat her. None of his previous editors had had the nerve to make corrections. And she was good at what she did, which made the “suggestions” hard to ignore. But it wasn’t until she’d showed up at his place the last time that he’d noticed she was pretty. More than just mildly so.

  And it wasn’t until he�
��d heard that lost note in her voice when he’d called to see if she was all right following the poker game that he’d found himself feeling protective toward her. To his recollection, he’d never experienced that feeling before. It just didn’t happen and it had given him an uneasy pause. So much so that when Randolph had told him she was taking a leave of absence, he’d figured it was the perfect time to reestablish his boundaries.

  Those boundaries had definitely been breached tonight. With his help.

  But even so, by no stretch of the imagination had he thought that beneath her polished exterior and intellect beat the heart of a woman who was hot, raw and sexy. Or that she would inflame him the way she did.

  He was no stranger to women who exuded sex. But this was a particular mixture of intelligence and sensuality that ignited him as if he were a length of rope leading up to a lethal charge of dynamite.

  He couldn’t seem to get enough of her. He wanted to experience her to the ultimate degree. But that could carry consequences. And he wanted her in his life in her original capacity, as his editor.

  Never in his wildest dreams did he think that work could be a deterrent to having sex. At least, not these days. But if this night could somehow jeopardize their working relationship, he would have to find a way to cope with pulling back. And if he was to pull back, he’d have to do it now. Before he couldn’t.

  Cupping her face in his hands, Ryan drew back. His eyes searched her face. If she lied, he’d know. “You sure about this?”

  Her heart was pounding so hard, she wasn’t entirely certain she could speak. Especially when her lungs were so low on air.

  “Not the time to have me fill out a form in triplicate, Sutherland.” Elisha ran the tip of her tongue along her lower lip, tasting him. Wanting him.

  All hormones alive and well.

  It was a very pleasant shock. But then, from the way the man kissed, Sutherland could have gotten a reaction from an Egyptian mummy.

  “If this violates some secret black-ops code, you can debrief me later,” she added.

  His hands rested on the swell of her hips. “I’d rather do the debriefing now.”

  The next thing she knew, the skirt she’d worn found itself on the floor around her feet. The thong underwear she’d bought on a whim last week was the only thing that remained between her and the last shred of modesty that still shimmered in her soul.

  She didn’t want modesty, she wanted him.

  She grinned as her heart began to pound in double time. “Part Houdini?”

  He smiled into her eyes, working the buttons of her blouse. “My hands were always my greatest asset.”

  Her eyes fluttered shut as he proceeded to show her just what he meant by that. Her skin heated even more beneath his touch.

  “If you say so,” she murmured thickly. Her blouse slid from her shoulders. He surprised her by being gentle, by kissing her slowly, languidly, moving from one bare shoulder to another. Pausing at the hollow of her throat. Making her absolutely wild.

  An eternity later, she felt her bra slipping off. Felt his hands covering her instead. A fever rushed through her as she found his mouth again.

  It took effort not to succumb. Not to let herself just get carried away. The hunger inside of her had gone from zero to a hundred in a matter of seconds. But as delicious as it was, she didn’t want to merely be the recipient. She wanted to make Ryan feel at least half as insane, half as wild with passion as he was making her feel.

  Her fingers flew over him, tugging off his sweater, working the button above the zipper free. She watched his eyes as she guided the zipper down to the base, passing over the swell of his desire. She’d never done this before, never undressed a man. Garry had always taken off his own clothes, as had the handful of lovers she’d had before him. But this was going to be different, she’d promised herself. As different as she could make it.

  Ideally, they would have made it to the bedroom. But desires made too many demands for the journey to be completed.

  They made love on a light gray rug in the middle of the living room.

  Elisha felt as if she’d taken leave of her body, hovering over herself and watching someone she hardly knew. Someone who was filled with urges, passions, needs. She felt only part human, the rest was some sort of ethereal being. A being who only grew hotter and more insatiable with each passing second. With each pass of his hands, his mouth.

  He made her feel desirable. Beautiful. Writing and black ops were apparently not his only talent. Not his only gift. Ryan set her entire being on fire and she burned gladly within his flame.

  This was a hell of a surprise, he kept thinking over and over again, having trouble reconciling the image he’d had of Elisha with this wildcat who had evoked such passion from within him. His assessment of people was usually dead-on. He’d survived that way for twenty years, during the years before he became a writer. But it was obvious that he’d been off his mark here. Way off.

  And he’d never enjoyed being wrong so much.

  She sparked things inside of him, pleasuring him even as he strove to pleasure her. He’d never had a partner who was so single-mindedly intent on his pleasure before.

  He liked the taste of her, he suddenly realized. The warm, berrylike taste of her mouth, the dark flavors of her skin. It made him want more. He’d never been in that unique position before, wanting more.

  Wanting to lose himself within the taste and smell of a woman.

  Never too old to learn.

  His hands urgently caressing her curves, he held back for a long as he could.

  But every man had his limit and he had reached his. His arms around her, Ryan positioned himself on top of her. Ordinarily, he liked to watch the woman he had sex with. He didn’t like being caught unawares. His senses were keen, alert during the very act.

  But not this time. This time he surrendered just a little bit of himself, sank into the sensation that welcomed him with open arms. He kissed her as he plunged in, his eyes shut.

  There was a muffled cry against his mouth.

  Was she trying to tell him that she’d changed her mind at the last possible moment? Was he supposed to pull away? Questions raced through his brain, but even before he could formulate another one, he felt her moving beneath him. Moving at an ever-increasing tempo. Not as if she was trying to throw off his weight, but as if she was hurrying toward something. Toward a plateau that was just out of reach.

  He had no choice but to join her in her flight.

  And then it came.

  A climax that felt as if it jarred his very teeth down to their roots. The sensation was so overwhelming, he clutched at the only thing he could for survival.

  Elisha.

  He held her to him hard, absorbing every last nuance of the sensation that had shuddered through him. The sensation that was even now fading back into the recesses from which it had come.

  Exhaling, Ryan rolled off her. Then, for reasons he couldn’t begin to comprehend, he slipped his arm beneath her and drew her to him.

  He lay there for several moments without saying a word. Staring up at the dark beams that crisscrossed his vaulted ceiling.

  Finally, because this had shaken him up more than he was willing to admit to anyone, even himself, Ryan said, “This a new way to edit? Because I have to say, it has its merits.”

  A kind of music ran through her head. Something light and airy that she couldn’t remember the words to. Something that made her smile.

  Elisha propped herself up on her elbow to look at the man who had, to use Andrea’s expression, just rocked her world. What had transpired was so far beyond perfect, she wasn’t sure if a word had been invented yet to describe it.

  Her body continued to hum even as she tried to look unaffected. She knew he expected nothing less.

  “Is that what you were after? A merit badge?” She looked down at the soft layer of downy hair along his chest and ran her hand along it. “Where would you sew it?”

  “You let me worry ab
out that.” Ryan flipped her onto her back, looming over her. Wanting her again. It scared him. He didn’t like being scared. “Why did you come here tonight?”

  The pulse in her throat was moving visibly. “To tell you that we’d be working together. I didn’t want to risk you going to another house.”

  “You could have told me all that on the phone.”

  She forced a smile to her lips. Her body was aching. Not from what had just happened, but from wanting him. Was this normal?

  “I’ve always liked the personal touch better.”

  He laughed. Personal touch. She’d certainly touched him. Very personally.

  “Made a believer out of me.” Pulling her closer, he started to kiss her.

  As his body came in contact with hers, her eyes widened, incredulous. Even at the height of Garry’s feelings for her, they’d made love once a week, maybe twice. Never twice in one night. “Again?”

  His eyes crinkled. The word cute flashed through his mind. He’d never been much of a fan of cute. And yet…

  “Don’t look so surprised. I’m an ex–Navy SEAL, remember?” He lowered his mouth to hers.

  “That must be one hell of a training course,” she managed to say just before she sank back into the flames.

  CHAPTER 37

  “This doesn’t change anything, you know.”

  Elisha’s soft voice broke the silence that had enveloped them for what felt like an endless amount of time. She wanted to keep things light, to let him know that there were no expectations just because their relationship had gone beyond the written word. That he had nothing to fear from her, because she wasn’t the nesting kind.

  Even though the thought was beginning to take on more and more appeal.

  She turned to him, her body warming again from the proximity. The man was just as incredible as she knew he probably thought he was.

  “I’m still your editor. I’m still going to edit your manuscripts.”

  His eyes held hers for a long moment. She couldn’t begin to guess what was going on behind those clear blue orbs. “And I’m still going to ignore you when you’re wrong.”