The Real Folktale Blues (Beyond Ever After #1)

by Random Jordan

  Golden Blues

  “You found a what?” Bonny roared in that bellowing voice of hers. She had to be half dragon or something.

  “A fox.” I reiterated while the soldier boy off to my side glanced back up at the tower we were just inside. The yellow smoke was curling up into the clouds above the tower now. It looked like smoke signals.

  “Where in the seven and seven lands did a fox come from?”

  The second time someone asked me that in one day and I still only had the same answer. “A heart.”

  Once her only visible violet eye returned to a manageable size I told her as much as I knew about the scene and showed her the fox. Technically now the fox was my only witness to whatever happened here.

  “Well what are you going to do with it?” The eye-patch wearing soldier asked afterwards.

  I shrugged while the fox licked my hand. “Feed it. Name it. Pet it. I guess? It would be better than adopting a kid.”

  She laughed; a big, healthy dragon roar of a laugh.

  I joined her.

  Roberts looked at us both as if we killed some babies. He didn’t understand yet that if you didn’t try and laugh off the insanely messed up stuff it would just continue to pick at you until all that was left was an empty cavity where your mind used to be.

  I couldn’t blame him though. Any onlooker would have thought we were insane as well. There was blood and bodies all around us with smoke trailing from a smashed up tower. We would have looked like the ones that had done this horrible damage, laughing as we did.

  “So you are sure it wasn’t the Wolf?” The salt and paprika haired officer asked again after the laughter died into a few moments of silence.

  “She’s Gabbi, not the wolf. And the tower was definitely not her; I can’t say the same for the rest.”

  “Right. Right. Gabbi.” She scrunched up her face in annoyance. Her brilliant crackling purple right eye fluttered over me before she just turned away from me to direct attention to the one who had been my companion in the tower.

  She didn’t understand the whole importance of using a name when you knew it. Or at least the importance it had to me.

  “You understand don’t you?” I asked the fox in my hands that was licking my glove.

  It made a yawning cry that I took for yes.

  Great…

  I’ve had the fox for five minutes and I’m already acting like it can talk back to me.

  I sighed and dug into one of my other pockets for something to feed my new pet, apparently.

  I don’t exactly keep bountiful amounts of food on me. So the only things I managed to find among my pockets were a metal coin, an ink bottle, a little string, and a lemon scotch.

  The fox eyed the lemon scotch with interest, so I held the nasty candy in front of it. It sniffed the treat and tried to lick it out of my fingers before I even un-wrapped it.

  If you don’t know what a lemon scotch is, then you are one of the lucky ones. Lemon scotches are like eating lemons combined with bland caramel syrup and a dash of pepper. The one I possessed was likely left over from my visit with Mister Boots. Other than boots, lemon scotches were that damn cat’s favorite things.

  The fox snagged the treat from me, after I got the wrapper off, and sucked it down instantly. Once that was done I slipped the fox back into my pocket, and heard it make a smacking sound of enjoyment before wiggling around and settling.

  Well the ‘feed it’ portion was done. Guess next thing was naming it.

  “Gnidori? I sent Roberts back along the trail to get the nearest troupe to help us clear out this mess. I do not believe we need you anymore.” Bonny explained to me, sounding a little annoyed. I looked to her, then around the area. Apparently the boy really was gone.

  “Do you know who did this?” I asked.

  “No, it’s going down as the Wo-“ I eyed her and she cut her words short, before continuing. “… as Gabbi’s doing. Since we have another one that is the same on the opposite side of the Tsar’s palace, minus the smoke.” She explained, nodding down to the fox in my pocket to elaborate that there wasn’t a fox either at that location.

  “Wait.” I stopped, holding my hands out in front of me as if to prevent me from falling. “This happened somewhere else without the whole fox and smoke thing?”

  “Yes. Why?” She narrowed her eye at me.

  “Because this means there were two different operations in the same place. The person who did the first attack isn’t the same one who came back to finish off the survivor.” I explained. This wasn’t my job. But at least it was looking like it wouldn’t be a waste for finding Gabbi, maybe.

  “Which means a group working together?” Her purple eye seemed to be swirling with ideas now.

  “I don’t think so. I think someone just wanted to cover up Gabbi’s tracks. But they did it poorly, like they weren’t even trying.”

  “Sounds like someone just wanted to make you think they were covering it up. Maybe it was one person, did the first one to make it look like Gabbi, then came back and changed the style.” Bonny explained pacing in front of me.

  “Midnight Magic.” I swore. “This happens every time I come back to Charming’s territory.”

  “What? People die?” She asked while stopping and looking at me like I was the cause of all this death.

  Unfortunately it crossed my mind too.

  I would have explained what I thought but I wasn’t afforded the time, as I yanked a hatchet from my cloak and knocked Bonny out of the way from a cleaver flying through the air toward her.

  A clink sounded and the thrown weapon I blocked kicked up some of the dirt in front of me as it landed and slid on the ground.

  Bonny scowled at me from the ground. I just smiled back at her. What else was I supposed to do?

  There was only one other person that I knew whom used axes like me and could throw them with that much force.

  Midnight Magic.

  “How close are we to Hue’s territory?” I asked the graying woman, picking herself up off the glittery ground.

  “Do you mean Prince Blue’s? Right on the edge.”

  “Flying Fey! This can’t be happening.”

  But it was.

  He made sure I knew it was, by sounding his trumpet as he strolled casually around the broken tower.

  He was dressed in his normal suit of robin egg blue, with a tie and everything. He had a fedora the same color on his head and an expression of serene chill on his dark-skinned face. His coal hair was always cut so short it could hardly be seen under the hat.

  “Hue.” I commented while he continued walking with light steps, kicking up not even a mote of dust as he moved. He had always been graceful.

  “Red.” He mused with a playful note in his voice, despite his dark face not revealing a trace of any emotion. He lowered his horn and let it hang by the cord around his shoulder.

  “I’m not in your territory. So the violation is not in place.”

  “I know.”

  “Then why did you throw the axe at me?”

  “Not you.”

  A man of many words he was. Trying to get anything more than a simple phrase out of him was equivalent to getting one of the three little pigs to fly without any huffing and puffing going on.

  “Okay. Why did you throw the axe at her?” I gestured next to me.

  “Personal.” His cool voice flowed like a natural and gentle winter breeze.

  “She piss you off too?” I asked with a smirk.

  “Possibly.”

  “Faerie Fudge, Hue! Give me a real answer for once.” I fumed and narrowed my eyes at him even if he couldn’t see it.

  “Imaginary answer.” He smiled his perfect teeth at me as he spoke his line and shook his head.

  It was my turn to scowl. “Ha. Funny. Not like I haven’t heard you say that one before.”

  Bonny glanced between us, her face contorted inquisitively while she was in a crouch. I gazed at her with one eye still on Hue.

  “L
ook Hue. I’ve got enough on my plate. What do you want?”

  “Drop off.” He explained with his amazingly wonderful language skills.

  “For me?” My eyes fully fell back on him.

  “Yes.”

  “How sweet of you to bring Charming’s package to me like that.” I showed him my teeth. He showed his, back at me. He couldn’t see my face but years of knowing him and he probably knew all my little quirks.

  “Not me.”

  “You aren’t bringing me the package? Or it wasn’t your idea?” I asked with a sigh. I don’t know why I still do the mouth work anytime I talk to Hue. It just makes it easier, I think.

  “Second one.”

  “Wonderful. Maybe we can get this conversation finished by next week now.” I lightly laughed while Bonny tugged at my pant leg. I didn’t pay attention to her. “So who’s idea was it?”

  “The package.” Hue didn’t point. That was too impolite for him to do. I didn’t have to turn around either to see what he was talking about. There was a long steel blade against my neck, pushing in my hood. A second later the hood was pulled back from my head. I felt bare to the world without that hood on.

  Guess I should have paid attention to Bonny or at least to the scent of honey, poppies and porridge lingering about.

  “My, My, Goldie. What big toys you have.” I smiled, trying to glance back at who was there even if I could recognize her from her scent, it was incredibly distinctive.

  “The better to impale you with, dearie.” She breathed into my ear. Her remaining hand shot to grab my empty fingers before they could draw another axe. Oh well.

  “As if I don’t hear those lines all the time. Really, you could have put a little effort into it, Goldie.” I smirked while I could still feel her breath running against my left ear.

  “You aren’t worth the effort, no matter what you tell yourself, dearie.” Goldie’s gentle honey voice actually sounded sickly. It was like that really hard, crusty honey instead of the fresh stuff.

  I sighed.

  I had to. It was going to be a long day.

  It already was.

  “I guess I shouldn’t have spent that effort I did saving your hide from that ring of thieves you stole from. Not that it was hard, though you were sure having trouble with a bunch of merry me-” I raised my eyebrows and stopped talking. Probably the smartest thing I’ve done all day. She had pressed the sword harder against my throat to stop me from saying anything else.

  “Do I need to show you how much better with a blade I’ve gotten?” She sneered. I’m kind of glad I couldn’t see her at the moment. She never looked good when she sneered.

  “It was never the blade that was the problem, you were just always clumsy.” I chuckled under my breath. Her hand shook casually, probably with rage. She was definitely going to slash my throat open.

  Why do I keep talking sometimes?

  “Gertrude. Let it go.” Hue ordered. He was not more than ten feet away now.

  “It could be over though! Snicker Snack. Dead. Happily Ever After.” Goldie snarled. Yeah, she was pissed.

  “Business.”

  “But… She…” Goldie gave up pretty quickly.

  Midnight Magic!

  Hue had Goldie whipped. Poor girl. I never thought she would let anyone tame her, let alone Hue. She always usually just did what she wanted. It was the thief blood in her. Her Grandmother started it, walking into a Bear Family’s home. Similar to when I caught her walking around in my home after I helped her.

  She lowered her sword and stepped back from me. I stepped to the side immediately and drew a second hatchet into my empty hand. I could see them both now.

  Goldie was mildly how I still pictured her in my head. Auburn lit curls, that shimmered as if they were really made of a fiery gold, hung to frame her round and pristine face while draping over her curvy display especially with the tight clothing she currently wore.

  The most unnerving thing was her honey brown eyes sparkling with despair. I had never seen them do that before.

  I blinked a few times. “Goldie?”

  “What?” She glared at me. The sparkle of despair didn’t fade. She looked like Faerie Fudge. Sparkling and beautiful yet hiding something dead inside.

  “What did you do with Bonny?” I asked.

  “Who?” She frowned at me like I had just asked where the wicked witch of the west had run off.

  “Bonny. Graying Redhead? Purple silk uniform? Eye patch?”

  She shook her head at me and looked at me like I was crazy.

  I know Bonny hadn’t been in my head. She had communicated with her subordinate. Besides, I’m not usually easily tricked by things like illusions. Not my style.

  I could have sworn she had tugged at my leg though.

  At least I thought so until I felt the tugging again and looked down to see the baby fox stirring in my pocket.

  It wasn’t Bonny. But then… where did she go?

  “Hue?” I asked while turning to face him.

  “Not here.” He said coolly.

  “Gaggles of help Hue, Gaggles of help.” I sighed and glanced back at Goldie with a raised eyebrow. “Personally, the green tights worked better for you, Goldie.”

  “Something wrong with all black?” She asked in that tone that meant the answer to her question better be no.

  “Never mind.” I sighed and shook my head. This wasn’t the time to get sidetracked. Things were getting weird. And way too quickly. Where the fey did Bonny go?

  I didn’t get to think anything over much at all before I noticed Hue draw another axe hanging from his waist. It reminded me of the axe he had thrown. It wasn’t on the floor now. Anywhere.

  “You have the package.” Hue explained before turning away from me.

  “Wait. Goldie is the package? What the fey, Hue.” I swore and stepped toward him.

  He glanced over his shoulder and nodded at me, and started walking away toward his territory. I locked my jaw and watched him go. Stupid Hue, like he couldn’t spend one minute to explain?

  “Can you at least tell me if Gabbi crossed over into your land?” I asked.

  I could see him shaking his head while still walking away. There was no way to be sure that was even an answer, but knowing him it probably was.

  Someday I’d get a whole sentence out of him again.

  Someday.

  Once he was far enough away so he was only a blur on the horizon, I slowly turned around to face Goldie in her tight black outfit.

  “What is going on, Goldie?” I eyed her and stepped closer. She had already sheathed up her sword at her hip.

  “What do you mean? I was not expecting to see you either. Honestly, I was rather hoping I would never have to see that disgustingly matted red cloak again.” She frowned and looked away from me with fumes of annoyance lingering between us.

  “Great to chat with you too, Goldie. Love catching up on old times. If only everyone I knew would stop being so cryptic or tight-lipped, I might actually have more fun.” I rolled my eyes and stepped up to Goldie.

  Once my hatchets were slipped away under my cloak, I grabbed at the thief’s wrists. She yanked lightly but didn’t really try to pull away.

  “Let me go, Red.” Goldie spoke before crushing her lips together until they were white. She wasn’t even looking at me. She yanked away again but still not really trying. I could practically feel the melancholy oozing off her.

  “You never called me Red before.” I said, letting my hands drop away from holding on her. Goldie knew something. She knew more than something, she always did. And I’m always the last person to know anything.

  “Well maybe I should have, that way this job would be easier. Just do your job, and get me where I need to go.” She spoke about as coldly as Hue always would but with an edge of malice.

  “Right. Then we should get going.” I sighed, glancing over her and dropping my hand from her wrist. She still wouldn’t look at me. She just looked toward the tower with the smok
e dissipating out the top and sides of it.

  I was just about to turn my head away and slip my hood back on when she finally brought her honey brown eyes to look at me. Tears were formed in the bottom of them like actual pools of honey. They just made her glisten even more with a melancholy no one should ever have to endure. And for some reason, with the way she looked at me, I don’t think I was the reason she was shedding honey tears.

  A smile tried to pull at my lips, but it didn’t make it. I stared at the rainbow sparkling ground. I was never good at this stuff.

  I had no idea what to do or say.

  Maybe it was a good thing then that I felt a sudden jolt rip through my body and the force of a blunt object smashing my brain into my skull to rattle it around. It felt like my mind was trying to escape my head.

  The iridescent dust below and the twilight sky above swirled around me. I felt my knees kick up dirt as they hit the ground.

  I fell forward seconds later, my left cheek rubbing against the sandy smooth gravel as it seemed to become immensely cold and stone-like.

  I didn’t feel the fox in my pocket, or catch any words being said.

  There was nothing, just cold against my skin, and darkness welling in me.

  I could see Goldie burned into my vision, like I had been staring at the sun too long and it was just an after image lingering. It was like a beautiful angel etched into my mind, leading me along through the darkness with her sad honey eyes and wrinkled up nose.

  The scent was what I followed though. Letting it soothe me off into the shade. Her honey poppy scent mixed with porridge was the best. I still loved it even now.

  It was a good last moment.

  For a poet.

  Not someone like me.

  Four

  Bare Essentials

  I awoke naked.

  Nothing else mattered.

  Not the headache that felt more like an earthquake between the two hemispheres of my brain. Nor the gut wrenching ache in my stomach that could have rivaled the knots and tangles in Rapunzel’s hair after one amazing night.

  The cold stone floor I was laying on took tiny nibbles at my senses, which were all but numb by the time I was awake. It wasn’t until my eyes stopped hurting and the black faded around my vision that I even noticed there was an ounce of warmth between my legs.