The Real Folktale Blues (Beyond Ever After #1)

by Random Jordan

  I wasn’t doing so well in that department.

  “You know not of the magic that you smell of?” The dragon tilted its head in confusion.

  I glanced away, slightly embarrassed. “I uh… lost my magic nose.”

  I added under my breath, “And if you don’t pull me away further I’m going to lose my normal one too.”

  I felt and heard the red lump of scales rumble a laugh together, my whole body shook in the process and I scrunched up my nose as best I could. Not that it would really help, but it made me feel better.

  “You reek of many magic, fire spitter. And there are such interesting spells coiled around you. Rare, very rare. Very interesting indeed. It reminds me of something.” Yeah, of course there was, I was the one that had put the spell there to seal my magic.

  Wait… Did the dragon say ‘spells’? As in plural?

  “I only have one spell on me. And I put it there.” I explained, and the dragon’s head curled in closer to my face. It breathed a steamy breath.

  “If you say so, fire spitter.” The beast’s teeth sparkled as the dragon revealed them in a smile of some kind, before pulling back.

  “Look,” I just braced myself and turned my head back to the dragon. “I have things to do. I’ve had a long day and I would appreciate if you would either just leave or kill us all now so I can move on with my life. I don’t have time for dragon riddles.”

  Again the entire body of the coil-y creature shook violently as breath streamed out over me in a roaring laugh. “You amuse me quite so, fire spitter. Very well, I will leave. But only if you agree to pass a message to whoever stole away my legend keeper. They possess the midnight magic you reek of.”

  I could feel the grip around me loosen and uncoil all at once, letting me drop a rough ten feet down on the deck below, next to the giant hole in the floor. I stood and flexed my back, feeling it crack a few times.

  I think dragons need to really learn manners. You don’t just drop someone out of the sky like that. That was just plain rude.

  “I will.” I stated plainly while inching delicately away. “What message?”

  The dragon flexed backwards from me, wings coursing faster to fire off furious winds. I barely managed to keep myself crouched, while I heard the scarlet scaled being finish. “My name is Silbaredilura. And my message for the legend seeker thief is: Your death will soon fall, for all who take a legend seeker from their hold is both cursed and blessed. First the blessing will come, then the curse. Make most of your life while you still have it.”

  And with a couple more heavy gusts, the scaly coils of the monster turned and dived away, making it maybe fifty feet before I couldn’t see an inch of it any more. I mumbled as it dropped from sight. “Yeah, thanks… for blowing a hole in the ship.”

  I shook my head to see if it would help clear my thoughts then rushed in the direction of Ettie.

  A sylph was barreling toward her, as she breathed shallowly and took her time aiming. Her gun lit with a brilliant lilac spark and the spell ignited, firing a burst of magical energy which caught the sylph in the blast but also herself.

  She flew, back first, smashing into my front and knocking me over before she settled on my stomach. We were both shaking from the shockwave of that blast. But we also heard the whimpering cry of the sylph being burnt, as she shifted slightly on my body to glance down at me. Her lean smile was beaming with excitement and exhaustion.

  “Last one I think.” She said before her smile was encrusted with a bit of color at the cheeks when she realized my hands had gone to wrap around her stomach in instinct, to catch her.

  “You think?” I grinned as she shifted further off me and winked. I just dropped my head back down against the deck floor and let my arms flop to the side. My axe was just out of my reach. I felt so exhausted despite doing nothing, really.

  Ettie grabbed and squeezed one of my hands as she flopped down on the ground next to me before we both just broke out into laughter.

  I think we were delirious.

  Inhaling too much brimstone does that to you.

  Fourteen

  Awkward Surprise

  “You could have at least smacked the dragon’s face away from my ship!” Bonny bellowed, making me start to seriously question if she had dragon blood in her.

  “I’m so sorry I happened to save the majority of the people upon your ship and the majority of your ship. Maybe next time I should just go sleep in the cabin when a dragon attacks.” I spat my venom as we both yanked in unison to pry the cabin door open so we could get inside to see the rest of the damage.

  Well, she wanted to see the rest of the damage. I just wanted to make sure Reynard and Kit were okay. Oh and Han too, of course. Though, once I had told Ettie about him she was worrying enough for both of us.

  Once the door was pried away from practically being melted into the framing, we could see that the damage to the cabin area really wasn’t all that serious. But what was far more amusing was the fact that Han lay utterly naked in the fetal position on the floor, with a fox soundly curled up into a ball and sleeping on the side of his far too hairy chest.

  I think we were all stunned by the sight, because not a single person said anything for a solid minute. Most of us were just staring at the odd spectacle, before the fox lifted his head up and smiled with its wicked slit eyed smile. No surprise when he let out a large yawn.

  “Nice to see you too, Reynard.” I added while grinning back to the fox before looking up at the hole above my cot, most likely from the spill of brimstone that gushed from the dragon’s mouth. Unfortunately the collateral damage was my bed, which explained why Reynard was sitting on a naked Han, rather than the bed like where I had left him.

  “Don’t forget me too. I’m always forgotten.” Kit spoke while Reynard jumped down from Han. Many of the pirates, that were already moving to clean things up, looked around for a moment, before focusing on the fox then continued about their way.

  “You’re not forgotten Kit. But if Reynard isn’t making a fuss then we know you are okay. And there are other people to worry about.” Ettie said, while pulling a blanket from Captain Bonny’s bed before wrapping it around Han and lifting him up to a sitting position. She slapped his jowls a few times to try and get him awake.

  Han stirred almost instantly, making groggy mumbles as he lifted his head and focused on his sister. She smiled as soon as he was craning his neck to look around at everyone else before she continued. “Glad you’re still around. Guess the old dog isn’t down yet?”

  “You know me. Suffered all sorts of witches, what’s a little dragon?” Han replied right before his groaning and moaning to stand up without accepting any help from Ettie. She acted like it was a normal thing to happen and decided to pet the fox next to her instead.

  “This is all warm feeling goodness but have you seen my ship? This isn’t a few hours repair, this is more: I am amazed my baby is even flying anymore.” Captain Bonny spoke through her gritted teeth and her arms crossed, looking from Ettie and Han to me still standing next to her. Her stare was menacing, if anything.

  I could see a response bubbling up in Ettie, but before even I could comment the entire ship seemed to lurch and I nearly toppled over. I heard a couple others fall around me. As soon as I was braced and standing full again, I gave a half slanted smile to Bonny. “Guess we spoke too soon about the still flying part?”

  The captain grumbled mostly unintelligible things before some stumbling pirate girl, with shreds of caramel hair poking out from her bandanna, rushed into the cabin, breathing kind of heavy and looking seriously frightened.

  “C-captain. We… uh…” She paused looking around at everyone else in the cabin and stiffened almost instantly before continuing. “Um… can’t keep the ship up. The engine is f-failing and we can’t put t-the sails back up.”

  Bonny turned to look at everyone in the cabin behind her. She didn’t look frightened or concerned, just serious. “You’d better grab onto something tied
into the ship because this won’t be one of my best dockings.”

  “Docking would imply there is somewhere to land. Last I saw, we were still over wide open water.” Ettie added, acting like it was just a leisurely crash into the water.

  Captain Bonny turned specifically to look at Ettie helping her brother up and grinned. “My ship is still a ship, unless the hull is blown we will be fine on the water.”

  She turned away again and looked past the girl in the doorway. “Furthermore, I saw land on the horizon. At the very least we should make close to the shoreline.”

  “I guess this means the vacation trip has come to an end.” I shrugged, while Reynard looked over at me before crawling up onto Ettie, as if he was looking to see if it was alright with me.

  The pirate king pushed passed me, without another word between us. I gave Ettie a look of frustration, but she just nodded her head for me to look behind. There Bonny was standing in the entry way with her jaw set hard.

  “Thank you. It could have been worse. Now brace yourself,” The captain spoke with a light tone to me, before her booming voice reappeared, “and everyone needs to clear away from anything that might move and crush you. This landing is not going to be pleasant.”

  With that final comment, the captain of the airship was gone from my view. I started to grind my teeth, as I turned back to look at Ettie and Han standing up, Ettie with Reynard on her shoulder. We hardly even managed to look at each other before the whole ship rocked again and tossed me into the nearby dresser.

  “Maybe it would be better if we were not in the cabin for this?” Han commented, the blanket still wrapped around him. He probably wouldn’t be able to get clothes until after the ship crashed. It would be too risky to go below deck now.

  “I agree.” Ettie added as she moved her hand to grip onto Reynard and hold him against her body. She moved past me and out into the main mast area. Han quickly followed her, while my eyes fell to the place where my bed used to be. That hole was going to be a danger if we don’t hit at least shallow water. But I couldn’t do anything about it now.

  Once I snatched up and slipped on my poncho and my belt of hatchets, I was out of that cabin as well. It was just in time too, as I hit the side of the doorframe when the boat rocked again.

  Outside, smoke was fuming everywhere, making my eyes water. It was pretty obvious this ship was coming down, and fast at that.

  “Riri, grab something now!” Ettie yelled out to me, from the piece of the remaining mast she was holding onto with one hand tightly. I looked up at her and it must have taken my mind a whole two seconds to process what she had said, because I just stood there.

  It wasn’t until another lurch of the ship that I jumped toward the closest piece of wood attached to the ship that I could find. My fingertips barely grasped onto the railing of the stairs nearby, as I practically felt the entire world drop out from underneath me.

  There was this brief degree of everything freezing in place, including my heart, before the whole ship just slammed right down into the shallow tresses of water. Buckets of rain were pouring over us and soaking us, while I pulled myself into gripping tighter against the banister.

  The ship screeched and came to a complete halt, forcing everyone to stutter forward from the momentum left over.

  “We hit a sandbar!” I heard some pirate girl yell. Everyone seemed to relax from holding whatever they had a grasp of. I still held tightly to the banister though, until Ettie came over to me with a smile and a fox.

  “How scared?”

  “Remember that time I banished that ghost invading the well in that town?” I replied, without even looking toward her. I could smell wet fox fur and her wet lily scent though.

  “That bad?”

  “No, that was way scarier than this. I was just trying to think of that so I can feel like it is safe to remove my hands from this banister.” I explained while turning my head to look at Ettie. Her lips hung open as she shook her head. Reynard was placed back on her shoulder, before laying her huge hands onto mine and prying my fingers from the stairwell one by one.

  “You can be such a baby sometimes, Riri.” She sighed, as I let her pull my fingers from the banister. Once they were all off, my hands remained in hers, gripping them a bit tightly.

  “I just hate flying, what is wrong with that?” I commented, while Han bounded over to us. My eyes fell to our hands, and I quickly yanked at them, but Ettie held them firm.

  “I just find it amusing. That’s all. You fight all kinds of creatures that would make most people run in fear and you can’t handle a little flying ship crash.” Ettie added, while Han sniffed the air noticeably. Reynard saw him do it and decided to join in as well.

  “Strange, I don’t smell a leak. Guess she hadn’t been that scared eh?” Han concluded with a smirk aimed at me, before he glanced interestedly to Ettie and mine’s hands. Reynard just looked confused as he kept making loud sniffing noises.

  “Don’t make me hurt you, mutt.” I growled.

  “No one is fighting on my ship. Or what is left of it anyway.” I heard Bonny input, before looking from Han toward her direction. Her one purple eye was gleaming with a watery brilliance as she crossed her arms not more than ten feet from me.

  “Yes Ma’am.” I mocked and attempted to salute before I realized my hands were still clasped in Ettie’s. My face was really starting to burn up, she didn’t normally do this.

  “Act like that and I won’t tell you who is coming toward us.”

  “As long as it isn’t a dragon, I could honestly care less right now.” I explained with exhaustion laced in my tone of voice, as I felt my hands finally freed from the tyrannical grip of the witch. Ettie and Han both moved away from me toward the side of the ship to look around.

  “I don’t see—Oh!” Ettie exclaimed.

  “A couple of people are making their way toward us. Curious, do you not think? We are in the Sleeping Kingdom after all.” The pirate king explained quickly, probably not wanting the information to be blown by whatever Ettie had seen.

  The twin witch was already rushing back over to me and grappling my arm and one of my hands to drag me to the side of the ship. She smiled at me and said. “You aren’t going to believe who it is.”

  “You’d be surprised by the kind of believable mood I’m in lately, Ettie.”

  “Just look!” She added, before twirling me toward a specific direction at the side of the beaten and burned ship and pulling back from me.

  My mouth dropped and all that could come out was, “No way.”

  That didn’t mean I was just going to stand around like a fool though. In fact I was busy jumping off the side of the ship and rolling through the shallow sand bar and water. My axes jangled and my poncho shook sand from it as I pushed through the water separating me from people I never thought I would see again.

  Well, one person in particular.

  “Ashe!” I was grinning like a cat, as I closed the distance between myself and Ashe, with Goldie. I couldn’t honestly explain it. But there tends to be a lot of unexplainable things in my life lately.

  Ashe of course wasn’t moving any faster, even after I had nearly stumbled onto my face when I stood up from my roll and jump. She always had the same perfect pace, and was never in a hurry. Goldie didn’t even move closer, having stopped back near the beginning of the beach.

  The problem was when I finally managed to reach the edge of the beach where the petite brunette and I both stopped; I had no idea what to do. We were a foot away from each other, and her smile was gleaming just like mine. It had been months since I had seen her, and last I knew, she was supposed to be getting dragged around by Gabbi the incredibly bad wolf.

  “I-how- You are okay?” I finally managed to spew forth. My hands fiddled at the hatchets and axes hanging on my side.

  “Of course I am. You know I can handle a little punishment.” She replied, her smile still floating those brilliant dimples in my direction. Her ashen chocolate hair tickled
at her shoulders, which was new. The last time I saw her, her hair was down to her bottom.

  “You went… for a new look?” I added, wearily, while lifting my finger up to kind of half point at it. She reached up to pull at a few strands.

  “That is all you have to say? You leave me in your home for three months, and all you have to talk about is my hair?” Ashe prostrated, which made me look away from her.

  I wasn’t sure if I was embarrassed or something else entirely, it was just an awkward situation. “Uh… our home.”

  Ashe rolled her eyes. “Yes, our home. But the least you could do is hug me or something. You could have thought I was dead, or worse. I did get dragged into this because of you, after all.”

  “Oh…” What else was I supposed to say? The moment I stopped the wedding between her and Charming, I had stopped being Ashe’s fairie godmother. And I’m still not sure if we fall along the line of friends either. Half the time it seems more like she became my fairy godmother or wife.

  My thoughts shifted though when I suddenly felt a sturdy hand against my back, and my whole body was pushed forward straight into hugging onto Ashe just to make sure I didn’t fall down.

  “Baby Ella asked for a hug, Riri. Least you could do is give her one. Sheesh.” Ettie explained as her hands slipped into crossing over her chest. I looked from her to Ashe with a smile, before pulling my body away from my roommate.

  “I guess a forced hug will have to do, for now.” Ashe whispered under her breath, loud enough for everyone to hear that was around.

  Which I only realized then, it seemed like everyone was interested to see why I had dashed off the ship so quickly. It wasn’t just the twin witch behind me, but her brother, a couple random pirates carrying some crates, Roberts, and Bonny.

  Even Goldie had come closer. She probably hadn’t wanted to get wet before.

  “You know Riri; a hug of any kind is a lucky thing to get out of her. Don’t even mention the fact that she has an even greater difficulty with saying the L word.” Ettie shook with a gentle laughter, and I caught Ashe making a knowing kind of smile like she understood too.