Sweet Liar

by Debra Doxer

  “Jeep looks good. Was there any damage?”

  “Not that I noticed.” He turned away and walked back to the Jeep.

  “That’s good,” I muttered as I walked to the passenger side and got in. “So you’re still mad, huh?”

  Jonah looked over at me. “Let’s just get to your appointment.”

  “Yup, you’re mad.”

  Shaking his head silently, he concentrated on driving.

  I glanced over at him as he stared out the windshield, admiring his profile, wishing things were different. I wished he really was who he claimed to be in the beginning. I missed that Jonah. I missed what we’d started together, even though it wasn’t what I thought.

  “Where are we headed?” he asked.

  “It’s the medical building just after the shopping plaza. So, on a scale of one to ten, how furious are you?” I couldn’t seem to let it drop the way he wanted me to.

  He exhaled sharply. “Wasn’t that the point? To make me furious?”

  “Did you know it was me right away?”

  “Yes.”

  “You know why I did it, right?” I recalled what he’d said this morning about dealing with my feelings the way normal people did, and I wanted to make him understand why it wasn’t so simple. The pressure that welled up inside me wasn’t normal. I realized that, but I couldn’t just deal. I had to do something or I’d explode or crumble to pieces or whatever falling apart looked like.

  “Candy, I know you’re nervous about this appointment. The last thing I want to do is argue with you. I think we should drop it.”

  Didn’t Jonah realize that I wanted to think about anything but my appointment? “I’d say you’re around an eight. Still ticked off, but not raging mad like before.”

  He flexed his fingers on the wheel and smiled in a wry way that said despite the smile, he didn’t actually find me amusing.

  I gave up after that, and we rode the rest of the way in silence. Once we reached the glass-and-concrete medical building, Jonah parked and came around to get my door for me. The lack of conversation remained as I led Jonah to the elevator and then pushed the button for the floor where Dr. Fox’s office was located, recalling how my father had been with me the last time I was here.

  The reception area was quiet, with only a few patients filling the chairs in the waiting room. A lame instrumental version of Lady GaGa’s “Bad Romance” piped in through speakers in the ceiling. It was annoyingly loud, and I tried to block it out as I checked in at the front desk. I was told the doctor would be with me momentarily, which could mean five minutes or fifty in this place, so Jonah and I claimed a couple of empty seats by the door.

  “These have been great, by the way,” I said as I pulled off the gloves. “Thanks again.”

  Jonah looked down at my hands, which were a nice healthy color, but he said nothing.

  “So, am I getting the silent treatment now?”

  His hazel eyes flicked to mine. “No.”

  “Certainly feels that way,” I muttered.

  Turning in his chair, Jonah pinned me with a serious look. “To answer your question, I’m not mad. I’m not at eight. I’m not even at one anymore. What I am is disappointed in you.”

  I snorted out a laugh. “Disappointed? Man, you really are an adult.”

  His eyes narrowed.

  When my name was called, I blinked in surprise at how short the wait had been. I wouldn’t have minded a good long one.

  Jonah stood and looked down, waiting for me. As I gathered my things, my pulse sped up as the anxiety I’d temporarily forgotten came crashing in on me like a tidal wave.

  The nurse smiled as I walked up to her with Jonah beside me. She led us down a brightly lit hall and into the examining room, explaining that the doctor would be right with me.

  We sat down to wait again, silently this time because I was too anxious to worry about Jonah or anything else except my hands, which were curled into fists on my lap.

  When Dr. Fox walked in a few minutes later and greeted me, he wore a casual, friendly smile the way he always did. Tall and thin with straight brown hair brushed back from his forehead and a long, narrow face, Dr. Fox always reminded me of the guy who played the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz movie.

  “This is my friend, Jonah,” I explained, even though the word friend didn’t come close to covering whatever he was to me now. “My father couldn’t come with me today.”

  Dr. Fox turned his welcoming smile on Jonah before bringing it back to me again. “Come sit over here and let me take a look.” He pointed to the padded leather exam table in the middle of the room that I’d ignored, choosing to sit in a guest chair instead.

  With a sigh of reluctance, I moved to the table and began pulling off the Band-Aids as I sat down. Dr. Fox reached for the large circular magnifying glass perched on a stand nearby, and lowered it so that it hovered just above my hands. When he clicked on the light, my fingers looked big under the magnifying glass, and the bright light revealed they were glaringly discolored in the spots where frostbite had set in.

  The doctor turned my hands over, concentrating on first the left and then the right. When I glanced over at Jonah, his brow was deeply furrowed as he tried to see what Dr. Fox saw.

  With a smile that looked less casual, the doctor switched off the light and straightened to face me.

  “It’s not good news, is it?” I asked.

  He pressed his lips together just as Jonah came around him to stand beside me. I felt the light pressure of his hand on my back.

  “I don’t see any improvement in the injured tissue, Candy.”

  I nodded and my throat grew tight, even though this was what I’d expected.

  “We can continue to watch these areas since my preference is to delay surgery until summer. With your reduced circulation, I would worry about your fingers healing too slowly and infection setting in if we did anything about them now. But if we wait, you’ll need to come in for regular checks, and continue to use the ointment I gave you to prevent infection. Infection is our main concern. If that happened, we’d have to move up the surgery.”

  “I can do that,” I said, glad for the chance to delay surgery. “Since we’re waiting, is there still a chance they could heal? As the weather gets warmer, maybe?”

  He hesitated, his gaze bouncing between Jonah and me. Finally, he said, “A very small chance.”

  I grinned at this tiny sliver of hope, glancing up at Jonah, who wasn’t smiling. I could see the worry in his eyes. Dr. Fox didn’t expect that small chance to pan out, and Jonah realized that. He thought I was going to be disappointed. But if there was no chance, the doctor wouldn’t have told me there was, and I’d take any chance he offered.

  Dr. Fox shook both our hands on the way out, and I made sure to book my next appointment. My relief stayed with me. I was so sure I’d be leaving this office today with a time and date for surgery. This might have only been a delay, but I’d needed that today. I needed hope in whatever form it took.

  Jonah was still quiet when we got back into the Jeep, but his silence seemed different, weightier, and I thought I understood why. Guilt flooded me because not only had I pulled a terrible prank, one I was truly regretting, but I hadn’t let him off the hook about the freezer. I held back from doing it as a way to punish him, but he was already punishing himself enough.

  “I believe you about the freezer,” I said after clearing my throat. “I know I haven’t told you, but I don’t believe it was you who locked me in there.”

  He angled a strained look at me, and pulled back his hand that had reached out to start the Jeep. “I’m not blameless. I got you the job there. I was part of it.”

  “But you didn’t do this to me. You wouldn’t. I know that.”

  His eyes shifted to mine again, and I thought I saw something lift in them. I waited, wondering if he would say something. Instead, he just kept looking, until finally he reached out and pulled me against him. Of their own volition, my arms came around hi
s neck, and we embraced awkwardly across the center console.

  I wasn’t sure why we were hugging, since less than twenty-four hours ago we were furious at each other, but I needed this. I wanted it, and Jonah did too. His strength and warmth surrounded me, sinking inside, melting away the tension. The hug was tight, and had an air of both relief and desperation about it.

  After a long moment that felt far too short, he drew back first. Clearing his throat, he rested his hands on the steering wheel and took a deep breath. Shooting a self-conscious look at me, he started the motor and pulled away from the building. It was odd, because this time he was the one closing down just when I was finally opening up a little.

  The ride was fast, silent, and uncomfortable because I had no idea what Jonah was thinking. As we neared the house, my phone dinged with a text message. I pulled it from my bag just as Jonah turned into my driveway. It was Drew, letting me know I was invited to dinner this Friday night.

  I put my phone away and said nothing to Jonah. Drew was a sore subject I didn’t want to bring up; at least, not now when things felt better between Jonah and me.

  “Thanks again for coming with me,” I said, reaching for the door handle once the Jeep came to a stop.

  “Candy, wait,” he said, releasing the wheel to turn toward me. “What I said before, about you and Drew, I should never have said it.”

  I eyed him warily; it was just the subject I wanted to avoid.

  “I’m sorry for how you took it. It was never about you. It was about what Drew might do, and warning you. I never believed you would—”

  I lifted a hand to stop him. “I know. You don’t have to say it.”

  “But I do.” He looked away, raking his fingers through his hair. “I was out of line, and I’m sorry. So damn sorry. That’s why you dumped the birdseed on my car, isn’t it?”

  I nodded.

  “Did it make you feel better?”

  “No.” I swallowed, realizing I did feel better, but the birds had nothing to do with it. “But your apology did. Thank you. And I’m sorry about the birdseed. It was an awful thing to do. I’m glad your Jeep is okay.”

  He gave me a half smile, making me believe I was forgiven.

  I got out of the car, but paused on the walkway and looked over my shoulder. “Thanks for coming today too.” I thought of how he kept his hand on my back as Dr. Fox spoke. “I appreciated it.”

  His grin widened enough for me to smile back at him and not feel as if we were ending another day with a wall of tension between us.

  As I watched his Jeep disappear down the road, I tried to figure out how I really felt about Jonah because I honestly wasn’t sure anymore. My feelings for him were like water, fluid and changeable, turning warm with a look or a touch, and then going cold again with one wrong word. He made it hard to hate him, and he made it hard to let go and give myself over to liking him. Mostly, he confused me.

  Inside the house, I hung my coat up neatly in the closet because I wasn’t going to be a slob just because my father was gone. Then I pulled out my phone again and went to sit down on the couch. The screen still displayed Drew’s text.

  I texted him back to let him know I’d be there for dinner. Then I switched to my conversation with Theo.

  Me: How’s it going with Jacinda?

  To my surprise, he texted right back.

  Theo: You mean Jacqueline?

  I smiled.

  Me: Right, her.

  Theo: I kissed her. Bet you weren’t expecting that.

  My eyebrows shot up. I started texting too quickly, completely mangled the words, which were even more screwed up once AutoCorrect was finished with them. Cursing my fingers, I deleted it all and started again.

  Me: Yay! Good for you.

  Theo: Not so good. She quit. Says she’s going to sue me for sexual harassment.

  I couldn’t help it. I laughed.

  Me: Oh no.

  Theo: You’re laughing at me. Aren’t you?

  Me: Yup. Parents pissed?

  Theo: No. Got a pat on the back from my dad. It was weird, actually. Good news is I’m feeling a lot better, so Jacqueline was going to be history anyway.

  Me: That’s great.

  Theo: That’s no treatment, which is pretty great, you know, until it’s not.

  Me: Right.

  My fingers paused, hovering as I swallowed hard.

  Me: Are you leaving soon to see the Pacific?

  Theo: Not sure. Could be a few more weeks, unless I’m forced to stay because of the lawsuit and all.

  Me: Tell me you were kidding about that harassment thing.

  Theo: I was kidding. Besides, who could sue me now and win? I’m kind of invincible. All sympathy would be on my side.

  Me: Well, don’t count on that. No robbing banks or anything.

  Theo: Ha! I’m more likely to sneak into the movies for free.

  Me: You thrill-seeker.

  Theo: Yup, that’s me. Wanton and reckless. Gotta go take a nap now. Talk later.

  I grinned.

  Me: Later.

  Lowering the phone, I leaned my head back on the couch and closed my eyes. I pictured the phrase typed on one of the documents hidden in my father’s safe. Prolonged patient’s life. The drug had prolonged my mother’s life. She still fought the cancer, and the times we had in those two years weren’t all good ones, but some were. There were still good moments and happy memories made. If I could give Theo two more years, would he want them? Would he at least want the choice to keep fighting if there was hope?

  I texted Lorraine and asked her to look through the documents again to try to find contact information for the doctors or anyone else associated with the clinical trial. Even the phone number for a clinic or hospital would give us a place to start.

  When Lorraine texted me back asking for the combination to the safe, I gave her the numbers I knew by heart. The combination was the date of my mother’s death.

  In the end, it didn’t matter if Theo wanted the opportunity to live longer. If I could give him that choice, I would.

  ***

  The next day, Jonah was sitting in English class when I arrived. He had his notebook open on his desk and a pen resting on a blank sheet of paper, just like a real student. But it was all for show. Beside him, a blonde who usually sat on the other side of the room was trying to get his attention. She was leaning over the aisle, inching closer to him. When she said something with a big smile on her face, he shrugged without looking at her, and I watched her smile deflate a little.

  I used to think it was aloofness or arrogance that made Jonah treat girls this way. Now I wondered if he was protecting himself. He was a twenty-two-year-old man; he couldn’t flirt with high school girls. Even the ones who were legal could probably get him into trouble.

  “Hey,” I said as I dropped into my usual seat beside him.

  A distracted head nod was his response.

  I laughed. I’d been demoted to the nod. Things seemed fine when I last saw him yesterday. “Are you mad at me or something?”

  He shot me a look. “What?”

  “I asked if you were mad at me.”

  Jonah turned to face me, resting one arm on the back of his chair and the other on his desk. Behind him, the blonde shot us an unhappy glance because he was paying attention to me and not her.

  “Candy,” he said evenly, “I actually have other things on my mind besides you sometimes.”

  I smirked. “Really? Like what?”

  He smiled, shaking his head. “You’ll see.”

  “Then it does have something to do with me?”

  “No. But I have a feeling you’ll be interested.” He faced forward again as Mr. Harris came into the room.

  Too curious to concentrate now, I tried to appear as if I were listening. About fifteen minutes into class, the door opened and the vice principal walked in. Wearing her usual brown dress suit, she spoke softly to Mr. Harris and then looked back over her shoulder toward the hallway. When she did
that, several students with a view of the hall looked also, and their eyes widened.

  Whatever the vice principal said to Mr. Harris had him standing stock-still, his gaze bouncing around the room as if he were looking for an escape route. Short of climbing out the window, there was only one way out, and Mr. Harris walked very slowly and hesitantly toward the door as the vice principal moved to stand behind his desk.

  I looked at Jonah but he kept his gaze trained forward, not acknowledging me. When Mr. Harris was out in the hall with the door closed again, someone said, “The police are out there.”

  “Two cops,” someone else chimed in. “What do they want Harris for?”

  At that moment, the vice principal told us she would stay until the end of class, and we were to continue working on our assignments. Which everyone took to mean they should start whispering and gossiping about what had just happened.

  “Jonah,” I whispered loudly.

  He finally gave me his attention.

  “Did you do this?”

  With a sly smile, he leaned over the aisle and spoke in a quiet voice. “I’ve been talking to some of the girls in the complaints. Ones that graduated. I convinced them to exert a little pressure. Turns out one of them knew another girl Harris took advantage of, but she kept quiet about it. They convinced her to come forward, and that’s when the ball got rolling. This girl’s mother is some hot-shot attorney. Harris should have chosen his victims more wisely.”

  “He never actually forced himself on anyone. Did he?”

  “No. He just made them believe he was in love with them. He didn’t have to do any forcing after that. Naive teenage girls.” Jonah mumbled the last part.

  “Not naive. Lonely, insecure, and wanting to be loved. That’s a normal teenage girl.”