by Debra Doxer
“I have some bandages and ointment in the bathroom,” Lorraine told me.
Not giving in to Jonah’s pleading eyes silently asking me not to leave the room, I walked into Lorraine’s small bathroom and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My eyes widened at the sight. My hair was a dark, tangled mess, and my face was pale. Around my neck, bruises in the shape of fingers were forming. I didn’t want to see the marks or think about how they got there, so I quickly pulled open the medicine cabinet and located some gauze and antibiotic cream.
When I closed the cabinet, Victor’s dark, angry glare flashed in my mind, and the tube of ointment dropped from my hand, clattering into the sink. My eyes shut, and I sucked in a deep breath. I would never forget how terrified I was in that moment. It felt like the darkness was swallowing me, and the hope that drove me for so long was just a waste of time. Then Jonah renewed that hope and everything changed again.
Wanting to give Jonah time with his mother, I waited until my breathing evened out, and then I combed through my hair with my fingers and splashed some water on my face before I opened the door and ventured out.
When I walked into the living room, Jonah’s eyes were red. It looked as if he was trying not to cry, and my chest squeezed at seeing so much emotion coming from him.
“Sorry,” I muttered when they both looked at me. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You’re not interrupting,” Jonah said, his tone weary. The sharp edge of anger on his face was absent.
Slowly, I approached them and saw the tears streaming down Lorraine’s cheeks.
Jonah’s gaze traveled between Lorraine and me. “Tell me how you knew where she was,” he said to me.
I looked curiously at Lorraine.
“I told him why I left,” she explained. “I haven’t told him how yet.”
I swallowed, wondering if she’d purposely left that part out. Jonah’s irritation was sure to resurface once he knew.
When I said nothing, not wanting to hurt Jonah more, she understood it was up to her and took a deep breath first. “It was Candy’s father. He helped me.”
Jonah’s brows knitted together.
“I had nothing,” she hastened to add, “and I didn’t know if your father would come after me. Sebastian found this house for me. He gave me the courage to leave, and he gave me a place to go.”
“This is his house?” Jonah’s sympathy dissipated.
Lorraine stiffened slightly at his tone.
“Rented by him under an alias for your mother,” I said.
“Why would he rent a house for you?” Jonah asked accusingly.
I recognized the suspicion clouding his eyes because I’d felt it too when I first discovered the situation. It was seeing what my father had hidden in the safe that reassured me. If Jonah was going to understand, he needed to see it too. He needed to know everything. After the way he’d saved me from his father, I thought he deserved to know.
“Where’s the safe?” I asked Lorraine.
It took her a moment to look away from her son and register my question. Her hesitance was obvious.
“If we want him to trust us, we have to trust him.”
She was silent for a beat before she slowly stood. “I’ll go get it.”
When she left the room, Jonah stayed on the couch, but his face was pale and his eyes wide as he turned to me. “The safe is here?”
I nodded, watching his expression change, understanding how hard this must be for him.
He shook his head. “My mother has been hiding it for your father the whole time?”
“It’s not what you think. Just wait, okay?” The blood from his wound was darker now, caking along his hairline as it dried. “Let me clean that for you.” I reached for the gauze.
He pushed my hand away. “Forget that. Tell me how long you’ve known my mother was here.”
I sighed and sat down. “Remember when I spoke to my father on the phone and he asked me to make those enchiladas?”
Jonah nodded.
“He’d written Lorraine’s address on that page in the recipe book. I met her for the first time that night.”
His eyes widened. “You’ve know since then? You’ve known everything she just told me? I guess you can keep a secret too. Can’t you?”
“I had to.”
He clenched his jaw. “So did I.”
“I know,” I said quietly.
Jonah asked no more questions after that. His gaze drifted away from mine as he seemed to process everything I’d told him. When I asked him again if I could take a look at the cut on his head, he reluctantly agreed and let me lead him into the bathroom where the light was better.
When we walked in, I noticed Pumpkin had decided to camp out in Lorraine’s bathtub. Since there was no litter box here, I figured it was as good a place as any.
“Hope your mom doesn’t mind,” I said, pointing at the tub, seeing if he’d smile at the sight of Pumpkin, and wanting him to.
He didn’t. He just sat down and looked at me.
As I gently cleaned away the blood, I discovered the cut on Jonah’s head wasn’t deep. I was wiping down the skin near his scar when he reached up and traced the tip of his index finger over it. “Did she tell you how I got this?”
I nodded. “She has a lot of guilt about it.”
He seemed surprised at that, as if he hadn’t expected her to admit to it or say she regretted it.
“Did you tell her what happened tonight?” I asked.
Jonah swallowed first and nodded. When I glanced down, he was looking hard at my neck.
“I never should have opened the door to him tonight,” he said, and reached up to lightly brush his fingers over the bruises. “I’d apologize again, but you must be so sick of hearing it. It’s pathetic of me to think the word sorry could make up for what he did, what I let him do to you.”
I dabbed the ointment on his cut. “You didn’t let him. You didn’t believe he’d hurt me, not until you saw it for yourself. You don’t have to say sorry anymore, Jonah. Your actions spoke louder than your words tonight.”
He looked down and shook his head. “I didn’t want to believe he’d hurt you.”
“Because he’s your father. You were in an impossible position.” As I said the words, I knew they were true, and I couldn’t be angry with him anymore.
His throat worked as he looked down at the floor of the bathroom, and I wondered how it felt to know the man you’d trusted all your life wasn’t who you thought he was. He was who you feared he was.
“Come on,” I said, wanting to break him out of his morose thoughts. “You’re all patched up.”
With Jonah’s cut looking much less gruesome, he silently followed me into the kitchen where Lorraine was waiting. Just like the night I first came here, I sat with her and went through my mother’s medical files, but this time Jonah was with us.
He was quiet, careful, and methodical as he looked everything over. He’d pick up a sheet of paper, scan it slowly, and put it beside him before reaching for the next one. I watched the expression on his face closely, searching for some indication of what he was thinking, but he was too focused to reveal anything.
As Jonah read through it all, I hoped he saw what Lorraine and I did. I also hoped he would realize that my father not only took care of my mother, but he took care of Jonah’s too.
“This is everything?” Jonah asked.
“Everything that was in there.”
I explained what Alison Hoyt told me about how my father passed the information in person to the Chinese each time he took my mother in for her treatment. As far as I knew, he hadn’t kept any other records.
When I thought of Alison Hoyt, I went cold. She never told me that my father asked her to hold the safe for him, but she told Victor. She most likely told him to protect herself and her family, and I supposed I could understand that. But now I couldn’t count on her.
“That’s why you didn’t want me to get into it with Drew,”
Jonah said. “You wanted to stay on his good side because you were hoping the same treatment could help Theo, and you needed his mother for that.”
I nodded, but now I wondered if she ever planned to get me any information for Theo.
When I looked over, the small smile playing on Jonah’s lips took me by surprise.
“You’ve been secretly trying to help your father and Theo this whole time?”
“And failing,” I said.
In Jonah’s gaze, I saw something that resembled admiration, but he cut it away too fast to be sure. After moment, he frowned. “Your father wanted to help your mother. I see that,” he said. “But intention doesn’t matter to the organization.”
He stared at the stack of papers before turning his attention to Lorraine. “Does my father know about you and Sebastian Seaborne?”
Lorraine worried her bottom lip. “Yes. I’m afraid that’s why he took this case. Because of me.”
“Did he want you back?” I asked.
“No, I don’t think so,” she said quietly. “When I left, he expected me to fail on my own. He wanted me to suffer and beg him to take me back. That wasn’t going to happen if Sebastian was helping me. He knew that, and he doesn’t like to lose.”
Jonah rubbed the back of his neck as he absorbed this news, and I could tell it hurt from the fight earlier. I also knew it wasn’t just his body that was hurting.
“Why would your father save all this, Candy?” he asked. “It incriminates him.”
“So she would know why he did it,” Lorraine offered. “He wanted her to understand.”
I looked at all the files spread out on the table. “He had no choice. You see that, don’t you? What choice would you have made? If given the chance to save someone you love, would you take it, no matter the cost to yourself?”
His gaze traveled from my face to my neck and back again. “I think I just did.”
The air stilled in my lungs. He was talking about saving me from his father. Before I could respond, he cleared his throat and looked back down at the files.
I glanced at Lorraine to see her reaction, but her eyes were drinking in the sight of her son, and they had been since we’d walked in here. But my head was reeling from what Jonah had just implied, and what I took it to mean.
Love? For me? No, he couldn’t have meant it that way.
Lorraine reached out and patted Jonah’s arm to comfort him. It was obvious she wanted to do more, but it was also clear he wouldn’t welcome it. Despite all he’d heard tonight, Jonah continued to be standoffish toward her. Without acknowledging her gesture, he picked up the glass of water Lorraine had quietly gotten for him and took a sip.
Each time Lorraine got the cold shoulder from him, it upset her, but she was trying hard not to let it show. I wondered if some time alone together might help. The awkwardness might not be so heavy if I wasn’t there making them feel self-conscious.
Besides, I wanted to see Theo, and I wanted to see him alone. He wouldn’t say anything of significance to me if I brought company. We’d talked all night, and dawn had broken over an hour ago. I glanced at my watch to see it was late enough to drop by his house.
“I’d like to go see Theo,” I said.
Jonah looked up at me. “Now?”
I nodded. “Can I borrow the Jeep?”
He reached for the keys in his pocket. “You shouldn’t go alone. I’ll take you.”
His offer came so quickly, I wondered if he welcomed the opportunity to escape. I stood and pressed down on his shoulder, wanting him to remain in his chair. “I think you should stay and talk to your mother. I’ll be fine.”
He looked a little panicked at the thought.
“Take my car,” Lorraine said. “In case they’re looking for yours.”
Her offer made me think she wanted time alone with him. “Would that be okay?” I asked Jonah.
He arched one dark brow at the fact that I was asking permission. Glancing at Lorraine and then me, he scratched his head and nodded, but he didn’t seem too sure about it. “It should be okay. Just be back in an hour, and don’t go near your aunt’s house. If they know you’re in Ryberg, that’s the first place they’ll look.”
“If they know me at all, they’ll realize that’s the last place I’d go.” I smirked. “And I may need more like an hour and a half.” Before Jonah could disagree, I stood and walked over to kiss Lorraine on the cheek, surprising her with my affection.
It felt good to have any ally, even though she was disappointed right now. She wanted a different kind of reunion with her son, one with more understanding and affection. Once Jonah came to terms with everything and it sank in, I hoped he’d give her that.
“I’ll stop by the pet store too and get some supplies for Pumpkin. Thanks for letting him stay here.”
“Sure,” she said, not sounding sure at all.
Jonah walked me to the door. “Keep your eyes open. I doubt they’d catch up to us so quickly, but you should stay alert.”
“Be nice to her,” I whispered. “She loves you. She obviously missed you.”
“Keep your cell phone on you. If you notice anyone suspicious, put the battery back in and call here. You have the number?”
I nodded, hoping it wouldn’t come to that.
“If they’ve found us already, it won’t matter anyway,” Jonah said, ignoring my words about his mother.
“Yes, sir.” I mock saluted him and he frowned.
He cupped my cheeks in his hands. “Candy, I’m serious.”
My grin fell and my heart kicked at the feel of his hands on my face. “You’re not mad at me for keeping so many secrets?”
“I honestly don’t know how I feel at the moment, but that doesn’t mean I want anything to happen to you.” He kissed my forehead and stood back, watching me with a furrowed brow.
I was worried too. I had no idea how much trouble we were in or what we were supposed to do next, and I was pretty sure Jonah didn’t know either. He’d just cut ties with everything he knew, and his world was turned upside down. Just like mine.
We were both in the same predicament, but at least it felt like we had each other now.
***
Theo grinned at me standing at his front door. His mother had just given me a hug on her way out to do some last-minute shopping. “Merry Christmas,” she said when she saw me there.
Once she was gone, Theo gave me a knowing look. “Two visits in one week. I’m feeling special.”
I practically threw myself at him, hugging him so tightly, not worrying that I might knock him over or squeeze too hard. It was so good to see him looking so well. He’d put on some weight, and his hair was styled like he actually gave a damn, dark and spiky, sticking up all over the place like a wannabe rocker.
I stood back to take him in, and he just looked at me with an amused grin on his face.
“You’re kind of hot,” I stated.
Theo laughed.
“I mean it. You’re hot in a hipster, young Matt Dillon kind of way.” The truth was even though Theo had put some weight on, he could use a lot more. Regardless, he looked great.
“If Heather liked me before, how do you think she’s gonna like me now?”
I’d nearly forgotten I’d given Theo Heather’s number. “Did you text her?”
“Do zombies eat brains?”
I rolled my eyes.
He exhaled in exasperation. “You still haven’t seen Night of the Living Dead or Dawn of the Dead or The Walking Dead?”
I tilted my head at him. “You’re kind of zombie obsessed. You know that?”
“I need to study up. I may come back as one with all the chemicals that have been pumped into my body. How awesome would it be if your best friend was a zombie?”
“If you eat my brain, not so awesome. Can you be serious for a minute? Did you text Heather or not?”
“Yes. We’ve been texting. She’s pretty cool, you know, for a girl. We’re supposed to meet up before I leave for Cali.” H
e gave me a closer look. “What’s that on your neck?”
“Nothing.” I lowered my chin, trying to hide the bruises.
He frowned and squinted at me. “What the hell, Candy? Those marks are shaped like a hand.”
I panicked and tried to think of a reasonable explanation. I should have worn a turtleneck or a scarf. Maybe I didn’t because after everything that happened, I felt reckless. I didn’t want to keep secrets anymore, especially not from Theo.
“Did Jonah do that to you?” he asked.
My eyes flared wide. “No. Of course not.” I released a heavy sigh. I really needed my friend right now. My best friend.
“We’d better sit down. I have a lot to tell you.”
When I finished relating everything to Theo, he said, “Vantablack? He seriously called it that? So you’re saying your father is a spy?”
“Sort of.” I shrugged. “He never told me what his actual job title was.”
“And Jonah and Heather’s fathers are too?”
“I think Jonah said both Heather’s parents are, and I guess they’re important or something. But you’re not supposed to know that either. You’re not supposed to know any of this.”
“This is a joke, right?” He made a show of scanning the room. “There are cameras hidden in here.”
I shook my head solemnly. “No joke.”
Theo looked at the marks on my neck and sobered. “Explain it to me again. Who the hell did that to you and why?”
I told him about Victor again, and this time he made no jokes. Theo was the most serious I’d ever seen him, for about ten seconds.
“You know how nuts this sounds,” he said. “I can’t believe you never told me about your father. Not even when we went to see American Sniper together.”
“What does that have to do with anything? My father’s not a sniper.” At least, I didn’t think so.
“But still, you might have brought it up. ‘Guess what? My dad kills people too.’”
I rolled my eyes. “Right. ‘Hey, my dad’s an assassin. Let’s go get some milkshakes.’”
He chuckled. “I probably would have called bullshit.”
“You would’ve asked me if I forgot my meds that morning.”
Still smiling, he nodded. Things got quiet for a moment before he asked, “So Jonah really hit his own father for you?”
