What the Librarian Did

by Karina Bliss

  “We weren’t trying to be pushy or anything, mate,” Kev assured Devin, who raised a skeptical eyebrow.

  “Of course you weren’t, Kev,” Rachel answered. She took Devin’s arm, unconsciously patting the dragon. His hand closed firmly over hers. “I imagine if Devin picks up a guitar in public the media will start hounding him.”

  “I’m not going to give up my privacy.” Under her hand, the muscle relaxed. “But I could have explained it better.” His thumb began a gentle circuit of her knuckles. “I’m sorry for being so defensive.”

  Everyone apologized then, with back slaps and handshakes all around. Devin signed autographs, a camera was produced and he stood patiently while everyone had their photo taken with him. Rachel shook her head when he held out a hand for her to join them. She needed to reestablish some distance.

  He closed it and her pulse sped up at the heat in his eyes. “Shall we go?”

  “No,” she said firmly, practicing the word. “I promised Kev a dance.” Satisfied that Devin had got the message, Rachel dragged the bemused farmer to the dance floor.

  SHE WANTED HIM.

  That was all Devin needed to know to be patient. While Beryl went off to get a recipe from the chef, he sat at their table and ordered coffee, watching Rachel on the dance floor. In one date, he’d gone from indifference to fascination. He wasn’t used to challenge in his relationships with women. He decided he liked it.

  He cast his mind back to his two marriages, the first in his late teens, to an indie rock chick in an all-female band. He’d wanted a port in the storm, but Jax had proved to be as angry offstage as she was on it.

  Ten years later he’d hooked up with a Swedish actress during one of his frequent blackouts. It had been a trophy marriage on both sides, the mirror over the bed reflecting two clichés going through the motions of intimacy. They’d separated after three months.

  There was no point regretting a past he couldn’t change; still, Devin couldn’t help wincing.

  He heard a muffled ringing and tracked it to a cell phone in Rachel’s bag. It wasn’t a model he was familiar with and a text message flashed up when he tried to answer the phone.

  Dnt blow chnce 2 screw a rck str. Trix

  He stared at the message, then replied, Nt tht kd of grl?

  A few minutes passed. R now, rmber our tlk!

  Grimly, Devin returned the cell to Rachel’s bag. He was a trophy date, and the librarian was only acting hard to get. Increase her chances of banging a celebrity, he guessed. The fact that it had nearly worked infuriated him.

  When Rachel arrived back at the table five minutes later, he regarded her coldly. “I’ve settled the bill.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to contribute?”

  “Let’s not spoil a great evening.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” He pulled himself together-never let them know you care-and steered her toward Beryl and Kev. They left with a promise to visit if they ever got to Matamata. Wherever the hell that was.

  “Close to Hamilton, where I grew up,” said Rachel. She filled the silence on the way home with Wikipedia trivia. If Devin hadn’t known better he’d have said she was nervous.

  But he did know better. His anger grew hotter, barely contained. Outside her house, he handed over the car keys, shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans and turned away. “Good night.”

  “I said I’d lend you that book on music and math. Wait, I’ll run and get it.”

  Another ploy. Damn, this woman needed a lesson. “Sure,” he drawled.

  He undressed her with his eyes as she led the way to the house. Rachel opened the door and started groping for the light switch. “It won’t take me long to find it.”

  Devin cut the game short. “I’ll bet.” He stepped inside and spun her around to face him.

  “Wha-”

  In the darkness, he found her mouth. She wrenched away from him. “What on-”

  “Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about doing this?”

  She hesitated too long.

  He kissed her again, pulling her close, cupping the nape of her neck with one hand. With a moan, she settled into him and he forgot everything but exploring that incredible mouth-moist, full, bitable.

  Following her lead, he kept it tender, reveling in the contrast between her tentative tongue and the unconscious pressing of those lush breasts against his chest.

  They came up for air.

  “Do you always kiss like that?” she gasped, and he struggled to remember she was using him. And then felt disgusted all over again.

  “Why, are you taking notes?” Backing her up against the wall, he nudged her thighs apart and ground his erection against her. “If you want to screw a rock star, this is how we do it, babe-standing up, right here, right-Owww!” He reeled backward from a knee to the groin.

  “You narcissistic bastard!”

  “Okay, I get it.” Devin groped for the wall behind him. “You changed your mind.”

  “Changed my-” The light snapped on and Rachel advanced on him. “I was never going to sleep with you!”

  “Take a look at the text messages on your mobile and let’s cut the crap.”

  “What?” Frowning, she pulled the phone out of her handbag and checked it, then looked up, exasperated. “So one of Trixie’s stupid jokes allows you to treat me like a groupie, is that it?”

  Devin eyed her closely. “Was it a joke? Or something to boast about?” He’d been caught before.

  She drew herself straighter. “I’ve never met anyone with such a high opinion of himself. What gave you the idea I was even interested?”

  “Oh, I don’t know… Maybe it was when your hands were on my butt.” When she blushed, he folded his arms. “Quit acting coy. I even asked you if you’d thought about it.”

  Her mouth tightened. “Kissing you. That’s all.”

  “Kissing?” Devin stared at her incredulously. “When a grown woman tells a guy she’s thinking about it, Heartbreaker, he’s not imagining kissing.”

  “I didn’t give you permission to imagine anything, mate. And if you’ve ever dated a grown woman I’d be very much surprised.” Color high in her cheeks, she opened the front door. “Now, please leave!”

  “Happy to,” Devin said grimly. Didn’t she know how many women wanted to sleep with him? “Frankly, I’m amazed I hit on a cardigan-wearing, pass-on-the-butter, book nerd anyway.”

  As he walked out, he caught his shin on the serrated pedal of the mountain bike. “Sh-”

  The rest of the expletive was cut off as Rachel slammed the door behind him.

  Dammit, that gave her the last word.

  MARK WAITED ALL MORNING for Devin to notice he had hurt feelings. By lunchtime he gave up.

  Walking to the cafeteria between classes with Devin, he stopped abruptly. “I waited for you an hour at the ferry terminal last night.” It was two hours but he didn’t want to seem that much of a loser.

  Devin looked at him blankly and Mark’s sense of grievance grew.

  “You invited me for a jam session, remember?”

  “Did I? Sorry, buddy, I forgot.” Devin continued walking, as distracted as he’d been all morning.

  Mark’s hurt smoldered into active resentment. “You know what?” he said to Devin’s back. “Since you obviously don’t even notice I’m around, I’m gonna skip lunch and catch up on some homework in the library.”

  Turning impatiently, Devin scowled at the last word, and Mark immediately regretted his temper. “I’m sorry, okay?” he said. The last thing he needed to do was piss off one of his few friends here. “It was just…well…never mind.” He’d had a frustrating few days piecing together a staff list from old yearbooks and faculty newsletters, but it wasn’t comprehensive or age-specific. He’d have to visually scan every female staffer on campus and confront anyone who seemed the right age.

  “What? I’m not mad at you.” Devin walked back to him and Mark avoided his eyes. Sometimes
the musician saw too much. “Why don’t we get food to go and I’ll give you that guitar session I promised you now?” They were blocking the path through the quadrangle and Devin steered him to one side. “I’ve got an apartment in town and our next class isn’t for a couple of hours.”

  “You have another place?” Mark was impressed.

  “Yeah, I bought it to stay in the city during week, but found I prefer going back to Waiheke. Mom uses it more than I do.” Devin hesitated. “Do me a favor? A textbook I need has come into the library. Go pick it up while I get the food?” He handed over his library card.

  “Is it because you don’t want to see her?”

  Devin said evenly, “What makes you say that?”

  Immediately, Mark knew he’d said the wrong thing. “Um, because she told me you were a bad influence? Except that…I mean…she said she was going to apologize.”

  “She did. Everything’s sweet.”

  It didn’t sound sweet. And the guy’s scowl had come back. “So you don’t think she’s-”

  “I don’t think of her at all,” Devin interrupted. “Let’s meet back here in ten minutes, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  He started walking to the library, then hurried back, scrambling in his pocket for change. “Dev…let me give you some money.” He didn’t want the rocker to think he was a leech.

  For the first time that day Devin’s expression softened. “My treat.”

  Rachel was behind the counter when Mark walked into the library, and her face lit up when she saw him. She always looked so pleased to see him that it made him feel slightly awkward. But he guessed being cool wasn’t in a librarian’s DNA.

  Then he caught sight of Trixie in a black leather dress and kick-ass boots and revised his opinion. She’d told him she’d toned down her look for the library job…only one pair of earrings and her most conservative nose stud.

  He kind of had a crush on her even though she was three years older and scary. She was dealing with someone but called out, “Have you been to that vegetarian café I recommended?”

  He nodded. In the farming community he came from, everyone ate meat. But you didn’t argue with a militant vegetarian, you meekly ate your lentil stew and tried not to be on a bus when the gas hit.

  “So you like vegetarian food?” said Rachel. She always sounded like she was filing away information for the FBI.

  “Love it,” he lied, and handed over Devin’s card to collect the reserved book. Rachel looked at the name and her smile faded.

  “Devin said it was okay for me to collect it,” Mark stated. Maybe they had a policy or something.

  “That’s fine.”

  She found the book. “He told me what you did,” Mark added, and she froze with the book over the scanner. Gray eyes lifted to his.

  “Apologized,” he prompted. “Good on you. Friends shouldn’t fall out.” It occurred to him that he’d helped smooth the way. It was nice to do something for Devin for a change.

  “Have…have you seen Devin today?”

  “Yeah, we’re heading over to his apar-” He stopped, wondering if Devin wanted him telling his business. “We’re going to hang out for a couple of hours.” He really shouldn’t be so proud of it, but Mark couldn’t help himself. It was such a buzz to be an icon’s friend. Well, not really a friend. But then Devin was encouraging his songwriting and…

  Rachel was turning Devin’s library card over and over in her hand. “Did he mention we had dinner last night?”

  “No.” Some of his smugness at being the peacemaker dissipated, then Mark laughed. “He stood me up for you, you know that?”

  HER SON’S FACE transformed when he laughed. It was like glimpsing land after spending six months in a leaky boat. Rachel swallowed hard. She’d seen him shy, angry, solemn, even a little melancholy, but she knew instantly. This is who you are.

  She started to laugh with him, then registered the implications of what he’d said. He thought she and Devin had kissed and made up.

  She’d gone to bed in a rage, tossed and turned until 2:00 a.m., thinking about the cutting things she could have said to Devin, and wishing she’d kneed him harder.

  Then she got up and cleaned the grout in the shower with an old toothbrush. Labor-intensive cleaning was Rachel’s cure for insomnia; generally she’d be back in bed within fifteen minutes because she hated cleaning.

  This morning the shower was sparkling. So was the range hood.

  Mark looked at his watch. “I’m gonna be late meeting Devin.”

  He took the light with him. There was no question whose side Mark would be on when Devin told him about their disastrous date.

  Even mistrusting Devin, Rachel had been temporarily disarmed by the Freedman charm. She still couldn’t believe she’d fallen for it. Now she would become public enemy number one.

  Rachel recalled Mark’s laugh, their shared moment, and tears pricked her eyes. She hurried into the staff bathroom.

  Five minutes later, Trixie barged in and found her, sitting on the floor and dabbing at her face with toilet tissue.

  “Rach…ohmygod, what’s wrong?”

  Her red-rimmed eyes made a denial stupid, so Rachel said what she needed to believe. “Nothing I can’t handle.” She managed a smile. “Don’t worry about it.”

  Trixie’s boots squeaked as she crouched in front of her and took her hands. “Says the woman who never cries? I don’t think so.”

  “Don’t give me sympathy, please. I’ll get worse.” Standing, she went to the sink and splashed her face briskly with cold water. Defeat wasn’t an option. She’d just have to think of another way to watch out for Mark. “Anyone on the counter?”

  Trixie ignored her. “Didn’t the date go well?”

  Better for Trixie to think that. Rachel met her assistant’s gaze in the mirror. “Devin saw your text message.”

  “About screwing a rock star?” Trixie’s eyes widened. “Didn’t you tell him it was a joke?”

  “Egotists rarely laugh at themselves.”

  “What a butt-head.”

  Rachel remembered the feel of Devin’s butt. “The misunderstanding wasn’t one-sided,” she admitted. “I should never have kissed him back.” In the cold light of day she couldn’t understand why she had.

  “You kissed!”

  Damn. “Let’s get back to work, hey?” She turned the handle but Trixie leaned against the door.

  “Just tell me what the kiss was like.”

  Fantastic. “Like kissing a wet dog. Look, the whole date was a bad idea, but no harm done.”

  “Then why were you crying?”

  “Because…” Unable to tell the truth, Rachel floundered.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  “BECAUSE YOU ACTED LIKE an asshole, Rachel’s really upset.”

  Devin looked down at the baby Goth barring his way into the lecture hall. “You’re the text sender…Trixie, isn’t it? And this is another one of your oh-so-funny jokes. Because Heartbreaker doesn’t get upset, she gets mad.”

  The young woman frowned. “No, this time I’m serious. I don’t know what went down, other than the fact that you kiss like a wet dog, but-”

  Devin laughed. “You see? Mad.”

  “You made her cry.”

  “I doubt that.” He tried to step past her; she blocked him.

  “I found her in tears this morning. She tried to make light of it, but Rachel never cries. I mean never. Even when her dad died a couple of years back.”

  He didn’t need this. It had been enough placating Mark. Devin figured he wasn’t due to make another apology for at least a year. “You’re making too big a deal of this.”

  “You mean it isn’t a big deal to you,” said Trixie. “But it must be a big deal to Rachel or she wouldn’t be so upset. She’s not like us. She’s led a sheltered life and hasn’t learned to protect herself.”

  Devin recalled Rachel’s well-placed knee. “Trust me, she can take care of herself.”

  “I mean emotionally
,” Trixie said impatiently. “She doesn’t protect herself against being hurt.”

  He wasn’t used to being taken to task over bad behavior. The band had been on the road so much it was easy to sidestep consequences, and if they hadn’t been touring…well, there was the house in Barbados to escape to if he needed to get out of L.A. for a while.

  “I’ll think about apologizing.”

  “Really?”

  “Sure.” But it was a tactic to get rid of her. Devin didn’t “do” hurt feelings and he wasn’t about to start.

  So he couldn’t explain how he ended up knocking on Rachel’s front door at 6:00 p.m. Friday evening.

  When she was feisty he could ignore her, stay pissed. But Rachel hurt niggled at his peace of mind. And that peace was too hard won to surrender lightly.

  Her shadow appeared through the stained glass door panel, hesitating as Rachel recognized him. Then she opened the door. They eyed each other warily.

  Devin saw immediately that Trixie had been telling the truth. Rachel looked washed out. Suddenly an apology wasn’t hard. Whatever his faults, he wasn’t such an asshole that he couldn’t admit when he was wrong.

  “I jumped to conclusions, last night.” When she didn’t say anything, he forced himself to give more. “I’m still learning to give people the benefit of the doubt instead of suspecting their motives in being with me.”

  She glanced away. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not like we expected anything from the date.”

  “No,” he admitted. “We had too many prejudices for that.”

  “I was trying to keep an open mind.” Stepping back, she started to close the door.

  And Devin realized his arrogance was about to lose him a friendship with the first woman to interest him in years.

  “Before I go, let me give you a few more tips on bad behavior,” he said brusquely. “Develop an alcohol addiction and get married a couple of times-at least once in a ceremony you can’t remember because it was during one of your alcoholic blackouts.