How Can I Be Down?

by Brenda Hampton

  “That’s my boy. Definitely knows when something ain’t right. Well, I’ll be back in an hour or so. They taking forever to put Donovan in a room, so we’re just sitting around waiting.”

  “So Tricia and Candi didn’t even slap each other around?”

  “Nope. None of that bullshit is going down, so that’s what you get for trying to cause trouble.”

  “Damn, but I’m sure when Jada get there all hell is going to break loose.” He laughed.

  “What do you mean by when Jada gets here?”

  “I mean, she called asking if she could come get her things and when I told her that her delivery boy shot himself, she asked me where he was. I told her, so don’t be alarmed if you see her. And it would really hurt me to my heart if you would just fuck her up one last time for me.”

  “Kareem, you need to think before you do shit. Are you trying to get my ass locked up?”

  “No, I just want you to be a man for once in your life and give that bitch what she deserves.”

  Before I said something to Kareem that I was going to regret, I just said, “Holla. I’ll see ya later.”

  “Deuces, and don’t do nothing I wouldn’t do.” Kareem hung up.

  To no surprise at all, when I came out of the restroom, Jada was standing in the waiting area talking to Tricia. The sight of her weakened me, but I couldn’t forget about all she’d done to me. I took a deep breath and went into the waiting area. She looked over at me, then continued her conversation with Tricia. I wanted to grab her ass and fuck her up for what she’d done but I couldn’t. Now wasn’t the time or the place, so I chilled.

  I sat in a chair across the room from them, and Candi stood up and came over by me. She put her purse on the floor and sat down in the chair next to me. “You don’t mind if I sit here, do you?” she asked.

  “No, not at all. You can sit wherever you’d like.”

  “Good. And I guess you wouldn’t mind me telling you that I didn’t come here to see Donovan. I came here to see you.”

  I massaged my beard and rubbed my bald head. Wrong place, wrong time. “Candi, stop by the house later to talk to me. I came here to make sure everything is cool with Donovan, not to be sitting here talking about you and me.”

  “I don’t mind coming by the house later, but I’m sure you’ll find a reason not to talk to me then. Question is, when are you going to stop putting me off like you do? I can tell how much you like me. Doesn’t make sense for you to keep trippin’, especially when things didn’t work out with you and Jada.”

  “And how do you know things didn’t work out with Jada and me? Never mind, let me guess; Kareem, right?”

  “Kareem told me, but Donovan told me, too. So, what’s holding you back now?”

  When I looked up, Jada was staring Candi and me down like a bloodhound. I could see the fire burning in her eyes, not knowing what Candi and I were talking about. Candi leaned forward, staring at me with her hand pressed against her face, waiting for an answer.

  “Ain’t nothing holding me back, Candi. I just need more time. Why don’t you leave and come by the house later. We’ll talk about it then.”

  “I don’t believe you, Kiley. Furthermore, I don’t think you’re going to be there if I stop by. I get the feeling you’re trying to avoid me.” Candi lifted her hand and rubbed it against the side of my face where my stitches were. “Come walk me to my car. I’ll leave, but you better be available for me tonight.” Catching me off guard, she leaned forward and pecked me on the lips. Shocked, I backed away.

  Just then I saw Jada coming our way.

  “Excuse me, I see this bitch didn’t waste any time digging her claws into you. All I want to know is when can I come pick my shit up? Every time I call your stupid-ass brother be playing games with me, and I’m getting sick and tired of it.”

  Candi gave Jada a fake smile, then wiped her lipstick off my lips. I grabbed her hand away from my lips and laid it down on my lap. “Jada, feel free to stop by and get your shit any time. Actually, the sooner the better. I got plans tonight, so if you’d like to stop by in the morning, cool. I’ll have as much of your stuff packed as I can so you don’t have to stay long.”

  I stood up, and Candi did as well, picking her purse up off the floor. As we started to walk away, Jada grabbed me by my injured arm. A sharp pain quickly rushed through it and I bit down on my lip. “Jada, don’t grab my arm like that again. Don’t think I won’t fuck you up in this hospital, because I will.”

  She put her hand on her hip and started rolling her neck around. “And don’t think I’m going to sit here and let you disrespect me like this either. Haven’t you had enough of cheating on me? That’s why your face all fucked up and your arm is in that damn sling now, because you couldn’t keep your dick in your damn pants.”

  Candi pulled me away because she knew I was about to get myself in some serious trouble. “Kiley, come on. She ain’t even worth it, baby. Let’s go,” she said calmly.

  Jada took a few steps, standing face to face with Candi. “Stay out of this, bitch! This has nothing to do with you, so take your trifling ass home, would you?”

  Everybody in the waiting area was staring us down, and as soon as Jada started talking some more shit, Candi smacked her hard on her face. Before Jada could hit her back, I quickly intervened and pushed her back in a chair behind her.

  “Look, why don’t you quit trippin’? I said come get your things tomorrow. Now chill.”

  “Naw, move, Kiley. This ho crazy if she thinks I’m going to let her put her damn hands on me.” Jada tried to push me back so she could get at Candi, but when I looked at Candi and told her to leave, she didn’t hesitate. Tricia came over and asked Jada to calm down. People sitting in the waiting area were shaking their heads like we were some ghetto, out-of-control niggas. Embarrassed, I went outside to look for Candi, but she was already gone.

  As I walked back into the hospital, Tricia was on her way out.

  “Tricia, where are you going? I thought you were going to stay to see Donovan.”

  “I’m going home, Kiley. Tell Donovan I don’t have time to be up in here with his whores. Y’all need to stop the games and appreciate a good woman when you got one.” She walked away.

  I stood there, knowing Jada must have fed Tricia some bullshit about Candi. Sick and tired of her mess, I rushed back into the hospital to set the record straight with her. I saw her sitting in a chair, and grabbed her out of it. “Come on, we need to talk,” I said, pulling her outside by the arm.

  “We don’t have a damn thing to talk about,” she fussed, trying to tug away from me. “You fucked up and you know it. Don’t try to talk to me now about the bullshit.”

  I shoved her against a wall outside the hospital. Luckily no one was around, so I quickly tore into her. “Listen, I’m not trying to get back with you, Jada. I saw the pictures and the letters you gave to Donovan, so what we had is over. When you followed me the other day, I was visiting my son. I had a son four years ago when you were in L.A. trying to figure out if you wanted to come live with me since you’d been fucking around with Donovan.” Jada’s eyes bugged and she was speechless. “Yeah, baby, that’s right. I recently found out you were fucking around with him. So I would never want your ass back. After you come get your stuff, I never want to see you again and I mean that shit!”

  Jada pursed her lips. “So, the best lie you can come up with is to say that you were visiting your son? What kind of fool do you take me for, Kiley? If you were cheating on me that’s all you have to say. You got busted, so fuck it.”

  “I really don’t care what you believe. I was faithful to your ass whether you believe it or not. You fucked this shit up. Not me, you did. A search for another brotha like me is going to be tough, so good luck. And like I said before, the faster you come get your shit, the better.” I gave her a hard stare and headed back into the hospital.

  “Kiley!” Jada yelled. “What happened between Donovan and me was a long time ago. He was there fo
r me when you kept seeing other bitches while we were in L.A. How dare you treat me like I’m the one who fucked this up!”

  I didn’t even respond, just kept on walking. I stopped by the nurses’ station to ask what was taking so long, and after standing there for fifteen more minutes, they told me Donovan’s room was ready.

  I opened the door and he was sitting up in bed, staring at the TV that wasn’t even turned on. His shoulder was wrapped and IVs were running through his hands. When he saw me coming into the room, he turned his head and gave me a look as if he wanted to jump out of bed and kick my ass. Before he could say anything, I sat down in a chair next to him and apologized for what I’d done. He raised his bed up higher so he could sit up and talk to me.

  “No need to apologize, especially when you have no regrets,” he said, looking back up at the TV.

  “You’re right. I don’t regret it, but the thought of me putting pussy before partner is what bothers me.”

  “Well, if you’re here for me to make you feel better about what you did, I suggest you go elsewhere for comfort. I admit sleeping with Jada was wrong, but shooting me was taking shit to the extreme. What if I had died? Would you be standing over my casket apologizing right now knowing that I wouldn’t be able to hear you? Or would you be at home thinking about how you should have handled this situation a li’l better?”

  I shrugged. “Man, I handled the situation as best as I could. I was in major shock when I saw her pictures and read those letters she wrote to you. So since my pride got hurt, somebody else deserved to get hurt too. Just sorry it had to be you.”

  “Whatever, man. You took this shit too far and you know it. Aside of what went down between Jada and me, you never liked my ass anyway. I could always tell you were closer to Rufus and Quincy; that’s why I moved to St. Louis. But when I realized I couldn’t make it without you niggas around, that’s when I asked y’all to move here. A part of me wished I would have just moved on, but I’m tired of running, honestly thought I was here to stay for good. Now, after what happened between you and me, I’m out again. Everybody feeling betrayed by me, when I was just trying to be there for a sista who longed for some attention.”

  “Man, I know you probably thought you were ‘being there’ for Jada, but in reality all you was trying to do was get laid. Remember, that’s what you told me when I confronted you about it. Bottom line is Jada played us against each other. Sad to say, we fell for it.” I stood up, looked out of the window, and then slid my hand into my pocket. “I didn’t come here to talk about Jada. What’s done is done. I just came here to apologize for something at the time I felt like I had to do.”

  Donovan snickered. “Well, if shooting me was your only alternative, that’s too bad. I almost lost my life over some bullshit, and frankly, I’m not too damn happy about it. I’m sure Kareem and Quincy have sided with you, and the last thing I want to do is live in a place where I’m not welcome.”

  “Suit yourself. You don’t have to move out, but if you think it’s best, then I can’t stop you. In the meantime, you might wanna know that Jada came up here trippin’. When she saw Candi and Tricia in the waiting room, she managed to let the cat out of the bag about you and Candi. Tricia left here pretty damn upset.”

  “Well, you know how that is. The truth always comes to the light. But, no trip. I’ll call Tricia and work things out with her later. If you and the fellas wouldn’t mind gathering up my shit for me I’d appreciate it. I’d like to move out when I leave the hospital in a couple of days.”

  “Only if you’ll be willing to do me a favor. And remember, I’m working with one hand now so I’ll do what I can about packing.”

  “Thanks to you I’ll be working with one arm too. So, what’s the favor?”

  “I’d like to keep this incident on the down low as much as possible. Everybody kinda thinks you shot yourself in the shoulder. They have no idea what really happened between us.”

  “Hey, who am I going to tell, the police? Tell you what; as long as you pack my things up for me, maybe this shit is squashed. For now, the only worry I have is calling my woman and buttering her up so she’ll let me move in with her.”

  I reached out for Donovan’s hand and he took it. “I hope we can squash this, but I know you too well, man. You get a pleasure out of retaliation.”

  He released my hand. “Maybe I do, or maybe I don’t. That’s just a chance you’re going to have to take.”

  “Don’t get yourself involved in something you can’t handle. My past history proves I never lose. I’d hate to see us go out like that, but if you want to hold a grudge that’s all on you. Good luck to you, my brotha. And if things don’t work out for you, you’ll always have a place to come back to.” I headed for the door.

  “Kiley?”

  “What’s up?”

  “I’m sure after I work things out with Tricia I’m going to have to put Candi on the back burner. Would you mind keeping her occupied for me until things cool down?”

  I looked at him and winked. “If I keep her occupied, she’ll never come back. If you’re willing to give her up, it better be for good.”

  “Well, do your thang, my brotha.” He grinned. “You seem to be the head nigga in charge, so do whatever works best for you.”

  I turned and walked out the door.

  It was way after midnight by the time I got home. When I knocked on Kareem’s bedroom door, Desmon and him were in his bed sound asleep. I’d already stopped by Quincy’s bedroom, and since the door was closed and I heard laughter, I didn’t interrupt. I picked Desmon up and carried him into my room. Kareem was so out of it he didn’t even hear me come in. After I laid Desmon in my bed, he went right back to sleep. And before I got in bed myself, I called Ginger to let her know everything was cool and Desmon was staying the night with me. She was a li’l cold to the idea, but when I promised to bring him back tomorrow, she thanked me for being there for him, and hung up the phone.

  Knowing that Jada would probably be over as early as possible to get her things, I stayed up until three in the morning packing them up for her. It was painful, but I knew ending it with her was in my best interest.

  From what I could see, Candi had called several times throughout the night, but I didn’t have the desire to call her back. She was right about me not being available for her, but I just wasn’t in the mood to deal with her just yet.

  CHAPTER 8

  I rolled over in bed and looked at the monitor, only to see Quincy open the back door for Jada. I told him and Kareem she would probably be coming through this morning to pick up her shit, and asked them to keep things cool with her. With her being here at seven o’clock in the morning, I guess she couldn’t wait to get on my bad side and ruin the rest of my day. I pulled the covers over my head and pretended like I was sleep when she came in the bedroom. The door was closed and she didn’t even have the decency to knock. She turned on the lights as if the light that was shining through the window wasn’t bright enough. Then she pulled the cover off Desmon and me.

  “Uh, so, who is this, Kiley?” she asked, standing beside the bed with her hands on her hips.

  I sat up on the bed, stretching my arms. “Who did I tell you he was?” Desmon opened his eyes and sat up on the bed. I turned around and looked at him. “Desmon, go wake your Uncle Kareem up. Tell him to go downstairs and fix you a bowl of cereal.” I reached over and gave him a kiss. He hopped down off the bed and headed to Kareem’s room. Jada watched him as he walked by her.

  “You kept him a secret from me all this time? He’s about five or six ain’t he?”

  “Four, but that ain’t none of your business anymore. You came to get your things, so hurry up and get them so you can go.” I made my way to the bathroom to avoid her.

  “I can’t believe you, Kiley. You’ve been messing around with some other woman all this time and treat me like I hurt you so damn bad. I did what I had to do based on what I saw. If you would have just—”

  “Jada!” I yelled. “
Please. I’m not going to explain myself to you anymore. No fucking need to, you understand? Okay, so I was wrong for not telling you. Now what? My not being honest with you about my son doesn’t compare to you sleeping with my damn friend. And stop making it like it was such a long time ago when you crept into his room and fucked him less than a year ago.”

  Jada’s eyes widened and she shook her head. “No, it wasn’t even like that. He came to me at a vulnerable moment when I was upset with you. He knew I always loved you, Kiley. I never loved him. I only slept with him to get back at you. I gave him those pictures and wrote those letters hoping you would find them. I was hoping that just maybe your jealousy would kick in and you’d realize what you were missing. I didn’t expect Donovan to keep that stuff all this time.”

  “Yeah, yeah, whatever, Jada. You act like I was fucking everything in sight back in L.A. I was young and didn’t realize what I had, but after I did, you kept it going with Donovan, so don’t sit here and make up shit to justify your own damn mistakes. Just admit it.”

  Kareem and Desmon came into the room. Kareem looked at Jada and rolled his eyes, then looked at me. “Hey, my man here wants some cereal. Ain’t no cereal. I ate the last of it a few days ago.”

  “Well, find him something else to eat. I need to finish talking to Jada for a minute.”

  “Better yet, hand me his clothes over there. We’ll go to the grocery store and get us some for-real-ass breakfast food,” Kareem said.

  I picked Desmon’s clothes up off the chair and gave them to Kareem.

  “Thank you, sir. And don’t be up in here busting nobody’s head while I’m gone. If you do, make sure the white meat shows, and wait until I get back so I can watch.” He laughed.

  Jada gave Kareem a fake smile. “Ha, ha, funny, Kareem. You’re a stupid motherfu—”

  He pointed at her. “Watch your mouth, bitch. I was talking to my brother. I wasn’t talking to you.”

  Jada started toward Kareem. I stood in between them to keep them apart.