The Gladiator's Honor

by Michelle Styles

  'I am not sure how you can tell them apart.' Julia kept her eyes on Valens as he circled his opponent, jabbing right, then left with his sword, probing. "They all look the same to me.' Except for Valens, she silently added.

  "Their helmets are all different. It is one reason for the popularity of the figurines. If you study the helmets, you can determine who is who. I've seen Tigris fight before and his is easy to pick out—it is in the shape of a tiger. Valens is that one over there. The rentarius paired with him is called Hermes. He is supposed to be fleet of foot—see the wings etched on to his breastplate.'

  Julia gave a brief nod. The arena resounded to the ring of steel against steel as the gladiators clashed, parried and clashed again.

  Valens's skill, which she had seen at her father's, seemed to desert him. Julia's heart leapt in her throat as Valens slipped to the ground, and had to use his shield to ward of the blows his opponent rained down on him with his trident. He rolled in the dirt, scrabbling to his knees.

  Julia saw his opponent knock Valens again, and Valens half-staggered. She grasped Claudia's hand, wanting to look away, but was unable to tear her eyes from the scene.

  When she was certain Hermes had beaten Valens, he lifted his shield and sent Hermes's trident spinning into the air. Immediately Valens counter-attacked and put his sword to Hermes's throat. Hermes raised his left hand, signalling his defeat. The bout was over. Valens had triumphed.

  Julia sank down on a wooden seat, her heart thumping in her ears. Her arms trembled as if she had been the one in the fight, instead of being an interested bystander.

  'That was quite a bout,' Claudia remarked with obvious satisfaction, twirling her parasol. 'Such moves and such skill.'

  'Will they fight this hard in the games?' Julia asked around the lump in her throat. At least three times she thought Valens would be severely injured. The memory of the gashes on his torso burned on her brain. From this distance, it was impossible to tell if he was hurt. She narrowed her eyes and tried to look for any red gashes or any other sign of injury. But Valens appeared to be fine. Julia drew a deep calming breath.

  'Harder and faster. The thrill of the contest fills the very air you breathe. The weapons they fight with during the games are razor sharp. They are tested before the games begin to show the audience.' Claudia's eyes glowed. 'If you thought this was thrilling, wait until you experience the real thing. The excitement is unbearable when the gladiators walk into the ring. Whom will the gods choose to favour that day? Who will live and who will die?'

  Julia looked back at Valens. He slapped his former opponent on the back and demonstrated a sword technique. She balled her hand into a fist, hating herself for enjoying the contest.

  'At last,' Claudia continued seemingly oblivious to Julia's emotional turmoil, 'you can see why I think he deserves a wooden sword. Only one gladiator out of a hundred would have been able to pull off that last move without getting severely injured. Everyone will be looking for it come the actual fight. The wooden sword is there for him to win, and if he does that move successfully with a sharp sword, Caesar will be hard pressed not to give it to him.'

  But at what cost? Julia questioned silently.

  'Who are the gladiators without helmets?' she asked to divert Claudia's attention away from Valens.

  'Those are the rentarü or fishermen. They fight with a trident and net and never wear a helmet. They are the only gladiators whose faces are well known. Some people look down on them for that reason,' Claudia said, pointing. 'I enjoy watching their skill with the net. Shall we go closer?'

  The malevolent stare of the gladiator who had quarrelled with Valens caught Julia's eye. She shivered as he deliberately tripped his opponent. There were a few boos from the crowd, but the gladiator responded by casting his net over the man, kicking him with his foot and then triumphantly waving his trident. Some in the crowd seemed to delight in his antics.

  'No, I think just here is fine. We can see the whole arena.' Julia swallowed hard as she realised that this cheat was the man Valens would most likely face in a life-or-death struggle.

  'If you wish, but you ought to see the skill that Aquilia uses. He will be more than a match for your Valens.'

  'For the love of Juno, he's not my gladiator.' Julia knew the warmth on her cheeks was from more than the hot sun. 'He is a man staying at my father's house. I told you that before.'

  'Shall we go talk to him anyway?' Claudia clutched Julia's arm. 'He looks to be finished. See, he's talking to that group of men.'

  Julia regarded Valens, who was laughing and talking with a group of toga-clad admirers before he turned to a group of schoolboys standing open-mouthed with their tutor.

  She trembled as she remembered the taste of his mouth and the touch of his hands. She watched him demonstrate the way he made the final thrust with his sword. It was hard to tell who looked more thrilled—the boys or their tutor. Suddenly, as if he felt her eyes on him, he turned his head. Their eyes met, and her heart stopped in her mouth. She started to wave her hand, but stopped, puzzled by his remote expression. His brows furrowed and he frowned before a schoolboy tugging at his tunic caught his attention and he turned back towards the group.

  'He's busy now,' Julia said, hiding her blush with her shawl. She busied her hands with arranging and rearranging the folds of her stola. Her mind started whispering reasons why she should have stayed away.

  'Those boys are departing. That horror shaking Valens's hand is my second cousin on my mother's side,' Claudia re-plied. 'A proper little imp. Do you know he put frogs in the fountain just when his mother gave a dinner party for a potential patron? They hopped all over her table, ruining the arrangement of pastries. Let's go greet Valens before that group of soldiers get there.'

  'This could be a mistake.' Julia hung back. 'I don't want him to think I'm one of those women who gather around the arena's gates.'

  'Julia, stop it. He will be delighted to see a friendly face. You worry too much.' Claudia gave her a small shove forward.

  Julia forced her feet towards where Valens stood, looking is remote as a god as he laughed and joked. The smooth strong column of his neck rose above his impossibly broad shoulders.

  As they approached, he turned towards the water butt and said something to one of the gladiator school's servants before turning towards the group of soldiers.

  Julia waited until the soldiers had departed for him to ac-cnowledge her presence. A warm breeze blew across her face, making a strand of her hair fly into her mouth. Julia pushed it away, but although Valens had turned towards her, he said nothing and his eyes appeared as remote as a statue's. Julia cleared her throat.

  'Valens,' she began with a faltering voice barely above a whisper, 'Claudia and I thought you fought wonderfully well. It was exhilarating to watch.'

  Her cheeks were as hot as if she had spent an hour in front of a brazier. She sounded exactly like a lovesick female supporter, sighing for the moon. He seemed to be staring off into the middle distance. Perhaps he had not seen her. She tried again, this time in a louder voice. 'Valens, aren't you going to greet me?'

  This time he did looked down, directly into her eyes and her heart dropped to the bottom of her sandals. His face bore little resemblance to the passion-filled face of late last night. This face was haughty, almost cruel. His eyes were chips of black glass.

  'Forgive me, I didn't see you there. Julia Antonia and Claudia Julia, how pleasant to see you both.' His tone implied it was anything but.

  'Claudia thought it might be a good way to pass the afternoon—watching the gladiators practise.'

  'You saw me fight.' His lips turned down at the corners.

  'Yes,' Julia said, taking a step backwards. Birds flew in her stomach, pecking it and making it hurt. She tried to understand what she had done wrong. She drew a deep breath and started again 'Claudia invited me. She'll make a supporter of me yet.'

  He gave an elaborate bow and a smile that did not quite reach his eyes. Julia tilted her hea
d to one side, trying to assess his mood. He seemed so different from the Valens of last night. She bit her lip. Had she made some terrible mistake? The awful truth whispered in her mind—her body disgusted him like it had Lucius. She tried to keep the misery from swallowing her as she listened to Claudia gush about his skill at turning the trident away.

  'You were right and I was wrong. Gladiatorial bouts have merit,' she said when Claudia stopped to take a breath.

  'I'm pleased you enjoyed it,' he said with little warmth in his voice. His eyes seemed to dart around the arena. 'Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to speak with some more supporters. Duty calls.'

  He gave another bow and was gone. Julia stared after him, stunned. She covered her mouth and nose with her hands, hiding her expression from the world. Last night, she had destroyed everything. She should never have pulled away. She disgusted him in the same way she had disgusted Lucius.

  'Of all the nerve,' Claudia said with her hands on her hips. 'He might have at least greeted me pleasantly. He barely said two words to me. All the nice things I said to him. It would serve him right if I switched allegiances.'

  Julia's backbone sagged, and she felt the urge to run away. Immediately she straightened. She had acted properly. He had been insufferable, but the only thing he had wounded was her pride. And her pride would mend…eventually.

  'It has been a pleasant afternoon, Claudia, but I think the spinning is calling me. Sabina can be such a pain at times.' She rushed her words, hoping Claudia would understand. 'I won't join you at the baths after all.'

  'I thought you were going to give me a game rolling hoops at the gym, to see if you could even the score up. I am leading the series—sixteen to fourteen.'

  A few more hours pretending everything was fine, chatting and listening to Claudia dissect various gladiators' anatomies was impossible, torture of the worst sort. Julia pressed her lips into a firm line.

  'My sleep was disturbed last night, Claudia. I feel a bit unwell,' she lied. 'I'm not up to going to the public baths today. I think I'll have a bath in Sabina's new plunge tub.'

  She turned on her heel and nearly crashed into Aquilia's massive chest. She mumbled an apology and started to walk on, but he caught her arm.

  'You're a very pretty lady,' he said with a thick accent. 'You Valens's woman?'

  'I am nobody's woman,' Julia replied crossly, wrenching her arm free from his grasp and marched out of the gate without looking back.

  Chapter Nine

  Julia's anger dissipated as she lowered her body into the steaming hot water scented with white rose petals. She lay back against the rim of the tub and looked at the mosaics of dolphins that adorned the wall of the newly installed bath suite.

  Her stepmother had spared no expense in the decoration, but the rooms were rarely used. Sabina preferred to keep the bathing suite as a showpiece.

  Julia had scraped the arena's sand and dust off with oil and her strigil. If only she could scrape the memory of Valens's arms away so easily.

  She would do this more often, she thought, allowing her body to float in the warm enveloping water. What was the point of a bathing suite that was for viewing only?

  Her mind drifted back over the day's events. She trailed her hand along the water, trying to be realistic and unemotional. What had she expected—for Valens to sweep her into his arms and declare his undying love in front of that crowd?

  The only thing that would have accomplished would have been a quick betrothal to Mettalius or somebody worse. It was far better she get over her obsession with this man and on with her real life. The only place anything with him would lead to was a quick trip to Sabina's tame soothsayer and betrothal to whomever Sabina felt would best benefit the family. She had to be practical. She must keep silent about what had passed between them, no matter how much her heart longed to shout it and demand explanations.

  Julia drew a shuddering breath and reached for her towel. If she stayed in much longer, she'd turn into a prune with water leaking from her fingertips and no further on in her dilemma.

  Her hand encountered a bare foot, rather than the cloth she expected. She drew it hastily back.

  'Are you looking for this?' Valens's voice flowed over her.

  She glanced up to see him holding her towel. The whiteness of his tunic contrasted with his skin, glowing golden in the lamplight. His broad shoulders blocked out the door, and she remembered all too clearly how they had felt against her hands this morning. She also remembered his angry words of a few hours ago.

  'What are you doing here?' she squeaked, before sinking her body against the bottom of the tub, grateful for the rose petals and the flickering light.

  'I could ask the same question of you.'

  'I'm having a bath,' Julia retorted indignantly. 'Leave.'

  'I was attempting to do the same. Your plunge bath looks inviting.' He dipped his hand in. 'Hot but not scalding, just the thing to soothe my aching muscles. I had a quick wash after practice, but wanted to ease my shoulder. I injured it three years ago and it can play up at times.'

  Julia glared. How dare he act like this! He had no business

  being here. She had told him that he was unwelcome. 'I was here first.'

  'And your point is…?'

  'Knock and wait your turn'

  Valens lifted one eyebrow and stared at her with an amused expression on his face. Julia was acutely conscious that the white rose petals in the flickering light provided only the minimum of cover and that her discarded clothes lay in an untidy heap on the far side of the room.

  'I did knock—you ignored me. I had assumed the bath suite was empty. It always has been before.'

  'The instant you realised I was here, you should have left,' Julia retorted.

  'If you had wanted privacy,' he said with a crinkle of his eyes, 'you should have bolted the door…like I did.'

  Julia's heart stopped. He had bolted the door. They were here alone, and with only petal-strewn water between her naked body and his hooded gaze.

  'If you had called out, I'd have come out as soon as I had finished…' she began and started to wonder how she could gracefully exit from the bath without revealing more than she absolutely had to.

  'You were a pleasant surprise,' he said with a smile spreading over his face. I had wondered when we would next encounter each other.'

  'There will be no encountering,' Julia said with grim determination. 'I had planned on ignoring you for the rest of my life. My towel, if you please.'

  She held out her hand, but turned her face away from him. Her fingers closed gratefully around the cloth. If she held it up between her and Valens and then climbed out backwards, crouching down, she might be able to do it. She started to climb. Her right foot slipped and she nearly fell back in the water. Julia tightened her jaw and tried again.

  'Julia, what is the matter? Are you injured? Is your ankle giving you problems?'

  At the sound of his voice, Julia gave up trying to be dignified. She scrambled all the way out of the bath, stood dripping on to the fish mosaic, her back to Valens, and wrapped the towel firmly around her body. She reached for another from the pile and draped it over her shoulders. Then picked up a third towel and started vigorously to dry her hair.

  If I ignore him, he might leave.

  'You can tell me.' He put his warm hands on her shoulders. Julia felt the flame of desire leap and cursed her treacherous body. 'Is there anything I can do to help? Any little thing?'

  'You made your feelings quite clear this afternoon,' she said through clenched teeth, trying to ignore the pleadings of her body that became louder with every breath she took.

  'And which feelings would they be?' Valens asked. His hardness pressed into her backside as he pulled her against him, leaving her in no doubt as to his aroused state.

  Julia shivered and stepped away from him, wrapping the towel tightly around her body. She refused to allow her heart to be used as a plaything. Love-making was not a game for her.

  'At t
he Circus Maximus—' she began.

  'I was rude and impossible,' Valens finished her sentence and captured her shoulders again, turning her towards him. His finger lifted her chin. 'Believe me, Julia, I know and I apologise, but it was for a good reason. I had no wish to put you in danger. Think of what would have happened if Roman tongues began to wag again. Your dog was not with you this time.'

  She gazed into his dark eyes, eyes that promised much, eyes that smouldered. The ice of this afternoon had become a smouldering fire of passion. She felt her nipples harden at his look. She wanted to believe his words, but this afternoon still stung.

  'And that's it? I am now supposed to fall into your arms?' she asked sarcastically. It would be too easy to fall and give her body up to that passionate promise.

  'That was the general idea.'

  A dimple played in the corner of his mouth, tempting her, calling to her, making her want to taste him. She forced her lips to press tight and clenched her fist more firmly around the towel that was wrapped about her body. She refused to drop into his lap like a ripe plum.

  'Did you have this thought in your mind before you came here or did it just form?' She made her voice as cutting as possible.

  His hands pushed the towel off her shoulders before he trailed his fingers down her arms. The flame in his eyes leapt further, nearly scorching her in its intensity.

  'It could be enjoyable for both of us.'

  Her body swayed towards his and her breasts touched his chest. His arms came round and held her closer. So close she could hear his heartbeat thumping in her ears.

  'Soft words are not required.' Her breathing sounded as if she had run a long race. More than half of her hoped he'd swoop to capture her lips. It bothered her. After all the hurt he'd given her today, Venus help her, she still wanted him. The fact troubled her. 'I need to know why. I am not some plaything, Valens, to be used and discarded at will.'