Single Dad Needs Nanny
Page 34
Besides, Amy knew what would happen if they went out. She’d fall in love with him. She was practically in love with him now or certainly infatuated. It wouldn’t be long before she’d get scared, then needy and he’d send her away. Just like her mother had…
“Amy?”
She lifted her gaze and found Dan’s eyes filled with a gentleness usually reserved for Emma.
“I know you’re scared,” he said softly. “Heck, I’m scared, too. I believe there could be something special between us. But we’ll never know for sure if we don’t give it a shot.”
His nearness made it difficult to think, to be objective.
“I need some space. Some time to consider what you’re suggesting.” She offered Dan a tentative smile. “I’m flattered. I just—”
Before she knew what was happening Dan had tugged her to him. “Tell me this isn’t what you want…”
His lips closed over hers. She told herself to push him away but the raw hunger she’d been keeping in check surged. And when she raised her hands, instead of increasing the distance between them, she pulled him close, drinking him in, discovering quickly that reality easily outshone even the most wonderful of daydreams.
Dan changed the angle of the kiss and deepened it, shifting one hand to cup the back of her head, holding her still for the hot, sweet hunger of his mouth on hers.
Amy welcomed the moist heat and the penetrating slide of his tongue and met it with her own. He stroked long and slow, hot and deep, and she kissed him back the same way, eagerly and instinctively.
A shivering…sliding…feeling ran down her spine and when he pulled her so tight she could feel his arousal against her belly, the world exploded in a blistering wave of heat and passion.
He scattered kisses along her jawline, down her neck and then…lower still.
Her breasts strained against the bodice of her dress and when his tongue dipped into her cleavage she heard herself groan, a low sound of want and need that astonished her with its intensity. Dazed and breathing hard, Amy pulled back.
There was shock in Dan’s eyes. “Amy, I…”
“It’s late,” she said, her breath coming in ragged puffs. “Let’s talk tomorrow.”
Without giving him the chance to change her mind, Amy headed for the hall. She moved quickly, not stopping until she’d reached her room and locked the door behind her.
Utterly confused, Amy sank down on the bed. Her fingers rose to her swollen lips. Though she’d often wondered what it would be like to kiss Dan, her fantasies hadn’t come close to the real thing.
This was what had been missing when she’d kissed Steven. It was this tingle, this thrill. But that still didn’t mean it would be wise to get involved with Dan. Amy struggled to pull her thoughts together. This was a major decision. One not to be made lightly.
But did she really have a choice? Now that they’d kissed, could they really ever go back to how they were before?
The clock struck one. Amy sighed and plumped up her pillow. She knew it wouldn’t make a difference. Even the endless parade of imaginary sheep she’d spent the last hour visualizing hadn’t helped. Try as she might, Amy couldn’t make herself fall asleep.
She’d told Dan they’d talk tomorrow but she still didn’t have a clue what she was going to say.
If only he hadn’t kissed me…
Being in his arms, feeling his mouth on hers had been incredible. When he’d acknowledged feeling something more than friendship it had been alternately a dream come true and her worst nightmare. Dan had so many good qualities. He was kind and gentle and totally devoted to those he loved. She’d seen the way he was with his wife, the way he was with Emma.
On the other hand, she remembered what happened to Bree and Melinda. The minute they’d started to care, to hope for something more permanent, to demand more than they were getting, they’d found themselves alone.
Of course, the two hadn’t realized what Amy had always known—Dan was still in love with Tess, would probably always be in love with Tess.
Amy understood what it was like to love someone who didn’t love you. She’d been abandoned by her mother and left for Aunt Verna to raise.
Amy understood what it was like to want permanence. All she wanted was a home, a family and a cat. It wasn’t much but at the moment her dream had never seemed more out of reach.
Amy understood that when you cause trouble, when you become demanding, you only push people away. That’s why during her growing up years, she’d never given Verna one reason to get rid of her.
But Verna had relatively low expectations.
Amy wasn’t sure the same could be said of Dan. After all, Bree and Melinda and the countless women before them hadn’t been able to keep him happy. What made her think she could?
Perhaps Steven was right. Maybe it would be foolish to become involved with Dan.
Still, she was tempted. Despite his flaws, she was attracted to Dan. She’d been daydreaming about him, hoping he’d see her as more than just his daughter’s nanny. Now that he had, could she really just walk away because she was scared?
Amy tightened her jaw. She’d never been a coward or a quitter. She was strong and smart and talented. If things didn’t work out she’d survive.
It was time she took charge of her life.
It was time she fought for what she wanted.
It was time she gave Dan a chance.
Chapter Eight
“Something smells good.”
Amy looked up from the griddle at her employer. “Hotcakes. With blueberries.”
Emma looked up from her plate. “An’ Amy even made the syrup hot.”
“Wow.” Dan grinned and Amy’s heart skipped a beat. “I feel like I died and went to heaven.”
“I don’t want you to go there.” Emma’s smile faded and her fork dropped to the table with a clatter. “I want you to stay here with me.”
Amy’s heart went out to the little girl. She reached over and ruffled Emma’s hair. “Your daddy isn’t going anywhere, sweetheart. It’s just his way of saying he likes my hotcakes.”
“Amy’s right, princess.” Dan dropped a kiss on Emma’s head and shot Amy a grateful look before taking a seat at the table.
Amy placed a cup of steaming coffee in front of Dan but he continued to talk to Emma and didn’t even look up. Even as she turned back to the stove, Amy could hear Dan’s low, reassuring tone. Her heart warmed at the sight of the two heads together. By the time her own hotcakes were done and she joined them at the table, Emma was giggling.
Amy had barely taken her first sip of coffee when the school bus horn sounded. In a matter of minutes, Emma was out of her seat, racing toward the big yellow vehicle, a spring in her step and a bright smile on her face.
After making sure Emma was safely on the bus, Amy returned to the kitchen. She wasn’t surprised to find Dan still at the table. His measuring look told her he’d deliberately stayed to talk. And she knew just what he wanted to discuss.
She pretended not to notice and took her time pouring the syrup. “Big plans today?”
“I’ll be in the city.” He gestured with one hand as if brushing away a troublesome mosquito.
Amy forked a bit of hotcake. “It’s supposed to be unseasonably warm today.”
A look of exasperation crossed his face. “I don’t want to talk about the weather. Not when there are more important things we need to discuss.”
The impatience was so typically Dan that she had to smile.
“Oh, all right,” she said in her most lofty tone, “I guess I’ll give you a chance.”
Surprise skittered across his face. “You will?”
Amy heard the disbelief in his voice and her heart fluttered. After swallowing a piece of hotcake that seemed to have grown to the size of a baseball, Amy forced a casual, offhand tone. “Unless you didn’t mean what you said. I mean if you were only joking…”
“Of course it wasn’t a joke,” he said, seeming upset that she would
even think such a thing. “I’m just surprised. I guess I was convinced you were going to turn me down.”
Amy frowned.
“But I’m happy you said yes,” he added hastily.
“So.” With one finger Amy traced an imaginary pattern on the tabletop. “Where do we go from here?”
Dan took a sip of coffee and leaned back in his seat. “How about my company party at the Palmer House Friday night?”
Amy lifted her head and met his gaze. The party, she knew, was always an elegant affair. It would either be a fabulous beginning for the two of them or a train wreck. But she wasn’t going to let fear hold her back any longer.
She smiled. “It’s a date.”
The chandeliers in the ballroom of the Palmer House Hotel in downtown Chicago glittered brightly and the scent of fresh flowers filled the air.
The clink of crystal mingled with the sound of laughter and conversation. As Amy stood in the entrance to the large room and gazed out over the multitude of men in tuxedos and women in sparkly dresses, her heart lodged in her throat. What had she been thinking?
The place teemed with important people—men and women who Dan interacted with on a daily basis. Some of whom she’d met…as his nanny. She knew what they’d think when they saw her at his side. Either they’d think that Dan had lost his mind…or they’d think he was banging the nanny and she’d made him bring her.
Amy was seconds away from bolting when Dan took her hand. Her heart fluttered and she lifted her gaze.
He smiled. “I’m so happy you came with me.”
“You are? Why?”
He laughed and the lines around his eyes crinkled. “Because I always have a good time when I’m with you.”
The tension and anxiety, which had held Amy in a stranglehold, eased and she relaxed for the first time since they’d left the house. Dan was right. They always had fun together. Tonight would be no exception.
“Can I get you a glass of wine?” Dan stepped close, shielding her from an unsteady drunk with a loud voice and a drink in each hand.
Even after the man moved past, Dan remained close.
Amy’s heart fluttered and she looked away, not wanting him to see the desire in her eyes. She smoothed the skirt of her black cocktail dress. It was the same one she’d worn when making Steven dinner, but if Dan had noticed, he’d been too polite to say a word.
Once she’d gained control of her emotions, Amy lifted her gaze. “I’d love some wine. Preferably red.”
Dan’s gaze lingered on the tall white pillar behind Amy’s back as if anchoring her place in the crowded ballroom.
“Don’t move.” He slanted a quick kiss across her lips. “I’ll be right back.”
Then, he was gone.
Amy touched a finger to her mouth and wondered if he had any idea the effect he had on her. How he made—
“Amy?” A feminine voice pulled her from her reverie. “I almost didn’t recognize you. What are you doing here?”
Turning, Amy pulled her thoughts together and flashed Bree Northcott a welcoming smile. “I came with Dan.”
Impulsively Amy gave the pretty blonde a hug. Bree looked fabulous as always in an emerald-green dress that showed off her lithe, model-like figure to full advantage.
A tiny frown momentarily marred Bree’s brow. “I thought I heard Dan was coming stag.”
“He changed his mind,” Amy said in a light tone. “Who are you here with?”
According to Dan, the party was for the architectural firm and their clients. Bree worked as an attorney for a tax firm, or at least she had the last time Amy had spoken with her.
“I came with Jake,” Bree said.
Amy tried hard not to show her shock. As one of Dan’s closest friends, Jake had often been at the house and Amy knew him quite well. Or at least as well as she wanted to know him. She’d never liked the way the man looked at her—as if he was imagining her naked—or the suggestive comments he made when Dan wasn’t in the room.
“He’s kind of slimy.” Bree lifted a shoulder in a slight shrug. “But I wanted to come to this party and he was my ticket in.”
“I didn’t say there was anything wrong with him,” Amy said quickly.
“You didn’t need to.” Bree laughed. “I could see it in your eyes.”
Amy nearly groaned out loud. She’d thought she’d mastered the art of keeping a poker face, but lately she’d been falling short. Way short.
“I like Jake—”
“Stop.” Bree touched Amy’s arm. “The guy has sex on the brain and the only thing he cares about is scoring. Please don’t feel like you have to defend him to me.”
“He is kind of slimy,” Amy admitted.
“Very,” Bree said with extra emphasis.
The two women laughed.
“Why did you want to come to this party so badly?” Amy asked. “I mean it’s nice and all but…”
As far as Amy was concerned, a woman would have to be beyond desperate to come with Jake.
This time it was Bree’s turn to shrug. “There was someone I was hoping to see here tonight. But…it’s pretty hopeless. He’s always had eyes for someone else. It’s a shame I like her.”
“My, my, two beautiful ladies.” Jake sidled up to Bree and leered at Amy. “Don’t you look de-lec-table.”
Amy offered the man a polite smile. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Been busy,” Jake said. “Unlike Dan, I don’t have someone waiting on me hand and foot when I come home at night.”
Amy wasn’t sure how relevant the answer was to her comment but Jake was obviously making a point. If his goal was to remind her of her place in the social hierarchy, he’d accomplished his mission.
Amy felt a tap on her shoulder and she turned. Dan moved to her side and made a great show of handing her a glass of wine. “Tonight, my dear, it’s my turn to wait on you.”
Bree heaved a resigned sigh.
Though Dan’s tone was light and his lips turned up in an easy smile, the tightness in his jaw told her that Dan had not found Jake’s comments amusing.
She took a sip of wine and when she lifted her gaze, she found Jake blatantly staring at her cleavage and Bree staring at Dan.
Amy ignored them both and turned to Dan. “Would you like to dance?”
She didn’t particularly want to show off her lack of coordination but right now she’d rather be out on the hardwood floor than standing around being ogled by Mr. Slimy.
“I’d love to.” Dan placed his glass on a nearby table and held out his hand.
Amy placed her glass next to his and took his hand, smiling a goodbye to Bree. She still didn’t know who Bree had come to the party to see but she had a suspicion. Yet Dan had chosen her.
The dance floor was crowded, so thankfully Amy didn’t feel conspicuous. Instead of everyone staring and pointing out her decided lack of rhythm, she and Dan were just one couple swaying to the band’s beat.
“I thought you told me you didn’t dance.” Dan’s tone was teasing and his eyes warm.
“I didn’t. I mean, I don’t.” Amy tried to follow Dan’s lead and pretend she knew what she was doing. It wasn’t easy. Not only because her feet had a tendency to trip over each other but because his nearness was wreaking havoc with her self-control. Was there anything more attractive than a gorgeous man in a tuxedo? The contrast of a crisp white shirt with the dark fabric of his tuxedo coupled with his handsome face sent her heart racing.
And the way he smelled…Just breathing in the spicy scent of Dan’s cologne made her heart beat faster. The feel of his strong arms around her brought back memories of the last time he’d held her close. Like he was doing now.
She rested her cheek against his chest. “I lied.”
This time it was Dan’s turn to stumble. “What about?”
“I have danced before.” Her heart tightened with the memory. “With my dad. He’d turn on the stereo, lift me off the floor and we’d dip and sway to the music.”
“I do that with Emma sometimes,” he said.
Though she didn’t lift her head and she couldn’t see his face, Amy could hear the smile in his voice.
“You’re a good father,” Amy said.
“I don’t know about that,” Dan said. “I didn’t do so well after Tess died.”
She heard the emotion in his voice and her heart went out to him.
“It was tough,” he said with a sigh. “Emma reminded me so much of Tess. She still reminds me of Tess. Of what I lost.”
Amy didn’t even need to close her eyes to remember that time. Dan had been beside himself with shock and grief. Emma had been confused and frightened. The fact that Amy had lost a parent at a young age had helped her relate to the little girl…and to her distraught father.
“It was a difficult time for everyone,” Amy said.
“I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Yes, you could,” she said firmly. Dan was good and strong and faced his challenges head-on.
Her own father had been such a man. After her parents had split, Amy’s dad had found himself with sole custody. His love had been constant and all she’d needed. “You remind me so much of my father.”
“Your father?” The look on Dan’s face would have been laughable at any other time.
“Stop.” Amy tugged him back to her and began dancing even as heat rose up her neck. “I just meant you’re a great father. Just like my dad.”
“Whew.” Dan pretended to swipe some sweat from his brow. “That’s a relief.”
“He was a good guy.” It was all Amy could think to say.
“Tell me about him,” Dan said, his tone low and enticing. “I know you said he died when you were Emma’s age, but I don’t know much more than that.”
Amy hesitated. She’d spent so many years not talking about him that it was difficult to know where to start.
“He was wonderful,” Amy said. “My mother hated him. My aunt didn’t know him but she told me to forget about the past and focus on the future.”
“I can’t imagine how hard it would be on Emma if anything happened to me,” Dan said, almost to himself.