Hardpressed

by Meredith Wild

  He licked up my spine, causing me to quiver. His thighs straddled mine as his hands glided smoothly over my skin, down my back, squeezing my hips and the top of my ass.

  “Mmm, I missed this. Thought about making your ass pink every night I was gone.”

  I bit my lip. I knew what was coming and went wet with anticipation, the ache between my legs throbbing now.

  “You weren’t too well behaved while I was gone, were you?”

  I shook my head as much as I could.

  His palm made hard contact with my ass. I jolted at the shock of pain. Then an unexpected wave of pleasure warmed me.

  “Someone else had his hands on you. We’re not going to let that happen again, are we?”

  I winced at the memory of James.

  “Erica, answer me.” His voice was hard and clipped, his hand falling hard on the same spot.

  “No, I promise,” I moaned, acutely aware of the wetness pooling between my thighs.

  He continued to punish the same spot until my head buzzed with a heady mix of adrenaline and inexplicable desire. These weren’t gentle playful slaps. They were hard and loud, echoing through the room, each one landing with a sting that had me tensing anxiously in anticipation of the next. They fell so solidly across my skin that I swore I was being punished.

  I wanted to be, so I let myself believe it. I convinced myself that Blake was punishing me and I was letting him. For making him so jealous, for letting James get too close. And for what I was about to do to him, to us, I deserved it.

  “I want to hear you.” His hand made contact once more, smarting the skin that was nearly numb from the endorphins now. “I want to hear those helpless little moans you give me. To know what I’m doing to you is making you crazy inside that tight little body of yours.”

  I didn’t make a sound, my cries burning in my throat.

  “Erica,” he snapped. The edge in his voice sobered me. “More,” I cried. “I want more. Harder.” Inexplicably, I did.

  He exhaled harshly. “Are you sure?”

  I lifted my hips into his grasp and gripped the rail tightly. “Blake, please,” I moaned, overcome with a craving for the pain that I so deserved.

  He left the bed, and I heard movement next to me before the sound of clothing dropping back down to the floor. He was over me again, straddling me.

  The broad curve of a leather belt followed his touch, cool against my burning skin. My palms went damp with fear and lust, slipping on the rail. A slow tremble worked its way through my body. My chest heaved, and I fought for breath as I waited.

  “Tell me if it’s too much,” he murmured. “Use your—just tell me to stop, okay?”

  I arched off the bed, my body asking for more before my mind could make sense of it. Whatever pain came at the other end of this I’d earned or was about to.

  “Just do it.”

  I heard the sharp crack of the leather on my skin before the pain caught up to my mind. My jaw dropped in a breathless cry when the pain pulsed through me. Fucking fuck, that hurts.

  He paused, waiting for me to speak. When I didn’t, he released another lash. I bit the pillow beneath me and suppressed a scream. Undeniably, it hurt. My entire body tensed against each blow. Why are you doing this? Tears stung my eyes, my throat thick with pent up emotion. You deserve it. You did this. Take it. Take it all.

  “You okay, baby?”

  “Do it, just fucking do it,” I croaked, my voice jagged with the need to cry.

  He hesitated a moment, then slapped the belt with measured precision. Again and again, he spread the sharp licks over my ass and my thighs. Somehow, the pain cut right through the shadow of misery that had fallen over me. I sobbed into the pillow. The tears spilled over, saturating the fabric, cleansing me, breaking me down.

  I relished the punishment, welcomed the physical manifestation of everything brewing inside me. Everything was releasing. My body went lax, even as he continued, as if I’d been broken down completely, stripped down to the most bare, raw state I could imagine. I couldn’t possibly understand why, but something felt terribly right about all of it.

  When my sobs slowed, he stopped and tossed the belt off the bed. He kissed my back gently, his fingers feather-light against my skin, soothing the pain. The warmth of his body covered the back of mine. His erection lay heavily on my bottom, the weight of it almost too much on the pained flesh there. The pleasure and the pain. He was a master at delivering so well on both. Now I needed pleasure. I was ready for it.

  “You took that really well. I know it wasn’t easy. I’m proud of you.”

  My heart ached at the comfort that washed over me at the sound of his voice. Soft with affection, his tone was a welcome shift from the commanding character who’d just thoroughly punished me. “I’m going to fuck you now, and you’re going to come when I tell you. If you don’t, I’m going to punish you again. Do you understand?”

  I whimpered an affirmative. Though softly rendered, his threat was heard.

  He kissed between my shoulder blades, his teeth grazing my skin. I shivered, my nipples tightening at the sensation. He turned me back over again and nudged my legs apart so he could nestle between them.

  Lowering down over me, his hand went to my hip, the other brushing the tear-soaked hair from my eyes. He wiped away the tears, and the lust that hooded his eyes changed. The corners of his eyes wrinkled with concern.

  “I’m so sorry,” I choked, so overwrought with emotion I thought my chest might burst from it all. He’d never know how sorry I was.

  The tight lines around his eyes released and he caught my mouth in a slow, deep kiss. He pressed the flared crown of his erection into me, barely penetrating.

  “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want you to be sorry, Erica. I can’t tell you what it does to me to see you like this, giving yourself over to me.”

  “Please,” I moaned, arching into the contact, desperate for him.

  My breath caught as he rooted himself fully and abruptly. The sensation was searing and overpowering, a potent rush of pleasure over my pain.

  “Oh, fuck,” I cried.

  “Erica,” he murmured. “I need this. I need you.”

  Something snapped, between his words, the restraint, and his thick penetration. A consuming hunger overwhelmed me, and I clenched around him helplessly. He withdrew to the tip and shafted me fully again. I wrapped my fingers around the rail he’d tethered me to and a hoarse cry escaped my lips.

  “That’s it, baby. Let it all go.”

  The low rasp of his voice coaxed me to the edge. Except the cliff had turned into an avalanche and I couldn’t escape now. A few more thrusts and I was gone, helpless to fight the feeling. The orgasm was coming for me, like it or not. I was lost in the world he’d created for me, as drunk on the pleasure as I was starving for more.

  He buried himself deeper, his hips slamming into mine with forceful drives. He pumped into me, his cock growing impossibly larger as he did. He nipped at my earlobe, sucking it, then grazing it again with this teeth.

  “Mine. You’re mine. Just like this. Your body, your heart. Every part of you.” Whispering in my ear, he never let me forget it, not for a second.

  “I’m yours.” The tears came again as my body gave up the last of its resistance.

  “Come now, baby. Give me everything.”

  The leather of the cuffs bit into the skin at my wrists as I struggled against them. Stretched tight and spread wide, I was completely at his mercy. Every muscle strained and I came apart. My thighs hugged his hips as my sex spasmed in climax. I fell hard, shaking uncontrollably, tensing as the orgasm ripped through me, his name on my lips. For a split second, a heaviness lifted and nothing else mattered.

  “Erica,” he groaned.

  His body jerked against me. His hands gripped my hips fiercely as he found his own release.

  He tensed, then sagged against me. His body was slick against mine as he exhaled roughly.

  He untied my hands and mass
aged the reddened skin of my wrists. Then he captured my mouth in slow, breathless kisses, brushing away the last of my tears. We were both spent, stripped down by the experience. With my last shred of energy, I wrapped my arms around him, hooking my leg over his hip. I needed the reassurance of our closeness. I couldn’t let him go yet.

  We lay that way, wordlessly, for a long time. The intensity of what we’d done settled over me, and my mind spun over what it all meant. In the face of what tomorrow would bring, maybe it didn’t mean anything at all.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered finally.

  “I love you,” I breathed, before falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Come up for breakfast when you wake up.

  Love,

  Blake

  I dropped the note back onto the pillow and fell back on the bed. I stared up at the ceiling, wishing the answers were written there. I still had time.

  I made my way to the bathroom and tried to tame my totally fucked hair. Fingertip-sized bruises marked my hips. My ass was covered with dozens of tiny little red dots, broken capillaries from the serious lashing Blake had dished out. A deep blush colored my cheeks.

  Bound and at his mercy in the darkness of the night, I’d survived Blake’s unexpected return, overcoming my panic and fears. More than that, somehow I’d needed it, to break through all the craziness in my mind. My fears had seemed so small and insignificant in the face of impending tragedy.

  I showered and dressed. I glanced out the window. Blake’s Tesla sat out front. A few cars down, a black Lincoln was parked on the street and I swore I caught a glimpse of red hair moving in the driver’s seat. A clatter in the kitchen tore my attention away.

  I stepped into the living room tentatively, my nerves on edge. Sid was making his breakfast at the toaster. I relaxed slightly, relieved that Blake hadn’t come back. At least he hadn’t been there this morning. I didn’t have the energy last night to anticipate how I’d deal with waking up to him. I hadn’t planned for any of that. None of it.

  “You’re up early,” I said.

  “Yeah, trying to get on a better schedule. Our hacker friends must be on vacation so I haven’t had to pull any all-nighters, which helps.”

  “Really? They just stopped?”

  “Seems that way.”

  “Wow.” I thought back to the meeting with Trevor. He didn’t seem to have an ounce of forgiveness in his heart, and our conversation had hardly convinced him to stop the attacks. Maybe tracking him down at his house had shaken him enough to make him stop. I wondered if he’d done the same for Blake’s other ventures or if he’d just decided to spare me.

  “Hopefully they stay away so we can finally get back to work.”

  “Do you think they will?”

  “I have no idea. The code is so solid now I have a hard time imagining how they could breach us again, but we can’t defend what we can’t see. I guess we have to wait and see if they resurface.”

  “Right,” I agreed. “Listen, Sid. I’m sure it won’t make much difference to you, but I’m going to be staying with a friend for a little while, so if you don’t see me around here much, that’s why.”

  “You still coming to the office?”

  “Of course.”

  His face was passive as he sat behind the counter. He broke up his Pop-Tart, but I caught a flash of concern in his eyes when he looked up at me.

  “Is everything all right?”

  Unaffected as he tried to be, knowing that he cared meant a lot to me. We had a strange friendship that had deepened in its own way over time. I didn’t quite know how to answer him.

  “I think it will be. Time will tell.”

  Sid simply nodded, even though I was being cryptic and only half believed it myself. Thankfully he wasn’t one to pry.

  * * *

  I knocked quietly at Blake’s door, even though I had my finger on his key in my pocket. He greeted me with a smile that nearly took my breath away. He was gorgeous in his tired worn-out blue jeans and a simple white T-shirt. His hair was wayward and messy. Despite the long night, he looked rested and happy.

  “Hey, beautiful.” He lifted me off my feet and kissed me.

  I returned it, slave to the habit of melting into his touch and craving his skin on mine. What the hell was I thinking? Nothing about this was going to be remotely easy.

  “What do you want for breakfast?”

  He lowered me back down but stayed close, twisting a strand of my hair around his finger. I shook my head and looked away, physically incapable of looking at his eyes straight on.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” I stood there awkwardly, paralyzed. “Can we…talk?”

  “Okay.” His eyes narrowed slightly and he stepped back into the apartment, closing the door behind us. He walked farther in, but I lingered by the door, not wanting to get too comfortable. I couldn’t get pulled into the usual routine between us.

  I shifted my weight back and forth a few times. He raised his eyebrows a fraction. Shit, I should have just emailed him. I couldn’t do this face to face.

  You can do this. You have to do this.

  “I think we need some space.” My teeth clenched against the tremble that threatened to take over. I fisted my hands, determined not to lose it.

  All signs of warmth and humor had left his face. “What does that mean?” His voice was low, eerily so.

  Shit, this was happening. This was really happening.

  “I’m going to stay at Marie’s for a while. I need some time, and I think it would be easier if I wasn’t here.”

  “Time? How much time?”

  “I don’t know.”

  I had no idea how long. I hadn’t nearly given up on the idea that I could get us out of this mess, but I needed time with Daniel to figure out how to get us there. I couldn’t risk Blake’s life in the meantime. His life… I couldn’t gamble with it. The thought of Daniel making good on his threat hit me again—a terrible, sobering thought that gave me the resolve I latched onto now.

  If I did nothing else, I would protect him. He’d chosen me, tried to protect me, and now here we were.

  “Where the hell is this coming from? Did I do something wrong?”

  I shook my head, not wanting him to blame himself but knowing he’d probably find a way to anyway.

  “Everything is just too much right now. I’m falling behind at work. I can’t focus. And then this news about Mark came as such a shock. I haven’t really had time to process everything.” Sadly, most of that was true, which was probably the only reason I could get the words out. “And I can’t do that with you around right now.”

  He shook his head, his eyes wide. I was leaving the safe world of Blake, slipping further out of his reach.

  “No. I—fucking no. We can figure this out, whatever it is. We haven’t even had a chance to talk since I got back, Erica, and now you’re dropping this on me?”

  I cut him off quickly, afraid to let him take over the conversation. “I thought about things a lot when you were gone too.” About how much I love you, can’t breathe without you. “And I think this is the best thing right now. I care about you, Bl—”

  “You care about me?” His brows knitted tightly together.

  I’d struck a chord.

  He took a step closer and I stepped back against the door, as if the volume of his voice could knock me down. His anger felt like a physical blow. The venom in his words rapidly worked its way through my system. The tears threatened and I squeezed my eyes closed, fighting them.

  “Please, Blake. Just give me time. That’s all I’m asking for.” My voice was a whisper.

  “Is this about James?”

  I let the thought roll over in my mind a moment. He’d handed me a reason, one that would hurt him deeply. I could admit to the lie and he’d believe me. Surely the thought of an infidelity would be devastating enough to sever the love he felt for me, with no question whether I was actually telling him the trut
h.

  I shook my head. I couldn’t stomach the backlash that might come from that false admission.

  “No. This has nothing to do with James.”

  “You’re not telling me something, Erica. How do we go from you drunk wanting phone sex to last night, which was amazing by the way, and now this?”

  He’d need answers. He wouldn’t let me go without them. Maybe after we’d had some time to come to terms with the separation, I could give him some reason that made sense. But not now. Everything was too raw. He’d see right through me.

  Too much was unsaid, but I couldn’t tell him the truth. He’d go after Daniel, and we’d be in an even bigger mess. Jesus, maybe none of us would survive it. Like a Quentin Tarantino movie where you can’t begin to count the bloody bodies on the floor. We’d be among them, no one winning. Just one big bloody fucking mess.

  “I will always love you,” I whispered, afraid of saying the words with the passion I really felt. Once I’d said them, I relaxed a little. The truth felt right, and he needed to know that, if nothing else. “I know you’re angry. You have every right to be, but please don’t doubt that.”

  He came close, bringing his arm up to rest on the door. I flinched back. Like an abused animal, I’d been hit, and in that split second I expected it. He lowered his hand and stared hard at me. He shoved his hands through his hair. I took a deep breath, wishing I could tell him who’d planted that fear in me, to take that pain away from him.

  This is going to hurt. I was here to deliver the blow, not soften it.

  I fumbled with the clasps on my bracelets and lifted the two sparkling bangles to give to him. I hoped for a second that he might take them, accept them, but he stood motionless before me, boring into me with those beautiful hazel eyes. I looked away, hating how they pleaded with me, fearful he’d see right into me. When he wouldn’t take them, I stepped past him and set them on the counter with his key.

  I turned back to leave.

  “Stop.”

  I faced the door, my hand on the knob, ready to bolt.

  He was close. His ragged breath caressed my skin.