by Renee Travis
"Hey, thanks for reacting so fast Mel." I hugged her.
"I hate it when you do that, you should have told him; you know your own limits." Mel scolded me; hands on her hips as I ended the hug.
"Sometimes I just want to be like you."
"Well you can't and if I didn't hate your mother I'd totally tell on you. Just be careful with Julian, he seems so...intense. OK?" Mel glanced over my shoulder at Julian and then back down to my beaming face.
"I will be. I think, I think this is good!" I was feeling incredibly happy, then I turned to walk back to Julian, looking forward to the drive back to my house.
Chapter 3
I woke up Saturday morning and stretched in my bed feeling the languidness of my heartbeat as I rested. I blinked my eyes as I watched dust particles dance in the sunlight streaming into my bedroom through the tiny gaps in my pink frilly curtains. I reached up and smoothed my black curls away from my face, groaning a little as I sat up and swung my feet out of bed, I had gone to bed with my hair down which meant it was a giant mess of tangles and frizz.
Standing, I made my way to my mirror and grabbed a hair tie, forcing the curly mess into a fairly tame ponytail. I was in white pajama bottoms with big orange pumpkins plastered all over them and a fairly loose matching orange tank top, the set was adorable and had been a present from Mel for my last birthday. They also made me look slimmer and cuter, which were an added bonus. Well an added bonus had anyone besides my parents and Mel actually seen me in them.
Glancing at the clock near my bed I rolled my eyes and sighed, noon already. I always slept late on the weekends, it was as if my body took the extra sleep and put it toward healing the damage I had inflicted upon my heart during the week. And after the dance the night before my body had really needed the rest.
I made my way to my door, stomach growling loudly, hopefully I could persuade dad to make me his famous wheat pancakes before I tried to talk to them about Julian coming over. I had reached the top of the stairs as the first thought of Julian swept into my mind. I was dating Julian Daramonth, well kind of. But he liked me...He had kissed me, more than once, the night before.
As I descended I could hear low murmured words from the kitchen and the thought of breakfast, Julian and talking to my parents made my heart jump a bit, just a brief stutter really, nothing to be worried about, but almost in time with the hiccup of the beat, all noise in the kitchen stopped. Before I could reach the first floor, Julian was standing there, looking at me with a mixture of worry and amusement on his face. His bright blue eyes seemed clearer than ever and I could not tear my own gaze from him.
"Good morning, or should I say 'good afternoon' " he said, voice low and somewhat amused.
I froze, completely horrified. Julian was already in my house! And I looked the worst I ever looked, frizzed out in pumpkin pajamas, my breath probably more than foul and my parents were in the kitchen! I could feel my eyes widen and my heartbeat speed up. Julian looked alarmed and reached out a hand to touch my shoulder.
"Calm down Rose, breathe, I'm sorry I startled you. I had a hard time waiting for you to wake up," I could smell his breath, his scent the same from the night before like sugared roses surrounding me until I could barely think straight.
"Julian, why don’t you give her a few minutes to go change and brush her hair," my father's voice entered the cocoon we had found ourselves in. My eyes broke from Julian's mesmerizing ones and flew to my father's face. He looked a little strained but smiled at me. I turned and dashed up the stairs, just before my door slammed I heard my father yell, "DON’T RUN!"
Gasping, I fell onto my bed, my hand touching my throat, I could feel the beat of my heart under my fingers. As my body came back to normal, I tried to go through my wardrobe mentally and decide what to wear. I really needed to beg my mother to let me go shopping with Mel, my wardrobe was very limited; jeans, a few long skirts, tank tops and T-shirts.
Finally, I stood up, slowly, my chest aching a little from the mad dash up the stairs; there was an angry flush to my cheeks as I looked across the room into my mirror. The same angry flush that Mel told me appeared two to four times every day. I was almost always angry at not being able to do something like a normal girl.
I walked over to my closet and opened it up; it was Saturday and on the weekends I liked to dress for comfort so I pondered how to do so while also giving off some semblance of cute at the same time. I finally chose an A line dark denim skirt that went to the floor, almost covering my pale wide feet. I hated my feet, much too large to belong to a girl my height. Then I pulled on a black cotton tank top that allowed a little of the red lace of my bra to show in the front. Not tacky but in style and something my mother actually found acceptable. This came as quite a shock, especially since she was the one who originally suggested it.
I opened my door quietly and listened for sounds: I could hear the murmur of conversation going on in the living room and figured I was safe. To get to the upstairs bathroom I had to walk close enough to the railings that I could be seen from downstairs at the right angle. I didn’t want Julian to see me again before I was ready. Tiptoeing, I moved along the wall to the bathroom, opened the door without a creak, and slipped inside. I left the door ajar so I could hear if the voices turned into an argument, still afraid any moment my parents would flip and send Julian packing.
I had just finished dowsing my hair with water until it was shiny when there was a light knock on the bathroom door; I turned in time to watch it open all the way.
Mom stood, stiff, with a frown on her face in the door way. She was watching me very carefully and I couldn’t tell what bothered me most; the disappointment, worry or the fear on her features.
"Rhodanthe," she started, "your father and I have decided that since you are 17 and a senior this year that maybe it's time to lighten up the rules a little bit."
My mouth fell open as I slathered anti-frizz gel in my hands and began working it through my long ebony locks.
"So we've decided that as long as you follow basic curfew and house rules we will consent to letting you go out with Julian," she finished.
I nodded slowly, reaching down for my brush, "So he can be my boyfriend? And you won't...freak out on me or anything?" I asked dragging the brush through my curls until they were untangled and bouncy.
"Well, your father knows one of Julian's moms," my mother's mouth sneered a bit and I pondered at her statement; Julian had moms? As in plural? Interesting.
"How?" I asked.
"Well she works at Central Middle School with your father; she apparently teaches history next to his English class," she explained, "I've met her a few times, she seems decent enough and he is a very polite boy."
"So this is for real?" I asked, finishing my hair by putting it in a high pony tail.
"Yes, but you know the rules, nothing that can make you excited or stressed." Mom gave me that all-knowing look. That look that said as clear as day, I know what girls your age do with boys. But it truly was a ridiculous statement. Even Mel hadn't gone all the way with Killian.
"Yes I understand, thank you so much, I appreciate it," I told her.
My mom left, I heard the door to her bedroom slam shut and sighed, she really wasn’t happy that I was growing up, less control meant more fear. Sometimes I felt sorry for her. But I had truly done all I could to make life easy for us. This was the first time I'd really wanted something since I had been 10.
I left the bathroom and went downstairs. Peeking into the kitchen I saw my dad setting out two plates of wheat pancakes, syrup, butter and two glasses of orange juice. I grinned and walked over to him giving him a big hug.
"Did you read my mind or something?" I asked.
He kissed the top of my head and backed away, "nah, just know what my Rose likes to eat on Saturday morning. Thought Julian would enjoy them as well."
I sat down in a bar stool next to the counter and looked around, "where is Julian?" I asked.
"Said he'd be back in a few minutes, you
start eating. I am going to be in my office if you need anything," the unspoken words plainly said he was giving us some private time. I smiled in thanks and watched him shut himself in his study.
I had just taken a few bites when I felt Julian walk into the room. I don’t know how to explain it except something seemed to sizzle in the air. My hair didn’t exactly stand up on end; more like a very small breeze moved it all at once. I turned in my chair to see him standing, just inside the door, watching me.
"Are you going to join me and eat?" I asked, watching him, loving the way he looked, the way he silently and gracefully moved.
He came farther into the room and took the stool right next to mine, "Join you? Yes. Eat with you? I'm afraid not." He leaned across and placed his cool lips next to my warm cheek, brushing the skin lightly before backing up.
"You don’t like wheat pancakes?" I asked, stabbing another bite and putting it into my mouth.
"I have a very....limited diet, mainly liquid." Julian's eyes twinkled with what I was sure a private joke.
"Oh, weird, so....what do you want to do today?" I asked shyly.
"I want to know about you, he said. “Tell me things, like your favorite book, song, and color. How did you find out you are diagnosed with arrhythmia? And most important why does your mother get pleasure from living in such a copy cat universe?"
I almost choked on my pancake as he finished speaking, laughter bubbled out of me and I grabbed my juice to help me swallow.
"You seriously want to know all of that?" I asked, still laughing, trying to be quiet so my mother wouldn't think we were having too good of a time.
"Yes...please," his voice was very serious, his hand inched over and linked with mine, hard under my own soft hand and half as warm as well. The feel of his skin touching mine was one of the best sensations of my life, pleasing and sensuous, calming and safe.
I took another bite, chewing slowly as I thought about the answers to his questions, "If I answer them thoroughly will you give me another fact about how you're...different?"
His blue eyes widened and he raised one eyebrow at me, his loose hand ran quickly through his coal-colored hair and he smiled, "yes, one thing."
"OK then," I crammed another bite into my mouth, chewed and swallowed. When I told him “my favorite book is Dracula," he looked quite amused.
"Why?" He asked me, pulling our chairs a little closer so his free hand could run up my bare arm. His fingers began caressing the bare skin of my shoulder, causing me to have to focus on my answer more.
"Well, because I always loved the struggle, good versus evil, what we want compared to what is best for everyone involved. Plus the tension between Dracula and Mina is really hot." I blushed, then seeing an emotion in his eyes I couldn’t recognize I went on, "Do you like to read?"
"Not really, I enjoy, working with my hands more." I glanced down at his hands as he spoke, no way he worked with his hands, they were too smooth. "But I am asking you the questions here."
So I left it alone and went on, "my favorite song is "Mama" by My Chemical Romance, one of the lines is 'Mama we're all gonna die' it's... suiting."
I could tell he didn't particularly care for this answer, "What, you don’t like MCR?" I asked.
"Not really, I enjoy alternative and rock," Julian was frowning at me again and the crease between his eyes deepened as I began to laugh, "What's so humorous?" He asked. It took me a minute to answer, with Julian's looks he didn't strike me as the type to enjoy that sort of thing, he was just full of surprises.
"That sentence coming from your mouth just sounds odd, sorry," I stifled another giggle and decided it might be best to continue answering his questions. "OK, umm, well my favorite color, as morbid as this sounds, is blood red." Now came the part I hated to tell, "and as to my disease, when I was 10 I was in a swimming class, I collapsed in the water and almost drowned. They had to call an ambulance and I spent a week in the hospital, I was diagnosed and sent home with a book all about the dos and don'ts of my condition." I was trying to rush the story out, I had told it so often it bored me and I hated being sick, so it wasn't a great tale to tell.
"Ever since then my mother has changed. She doesn't like surprises, everything has to be perfect, her way and the same; it's like having a daughter who could die and will probably die before her has made her reach her change quota for eternity." I finished, a bit of bitterness seeping into my last few words.
Julian had gone very still and was just watching me, head angled a bit, "I am sure she loves you very much, my Rose," he told me.
"I know she does, it's just frustrating." I shrugged, "Now how about you?"
He seemed to be studying me and really thinking about his answer before he opened his mouth. I could tell when he had picked what he would allow me to know, it was as if his eyes lightened more than they already were and then went back to their normal crystal clear blue.
"I am much, much older than I appear." His statement rang true and while I knew it should frighten me a little and worry me a little more; neither of these emotions threatened to overtake me. I was different too and I was not going to judge him. But with that statement I was sure of one thing, well maybe two things; Julian was much different than the average boy and I didn't give a flying...well you know.
"Are you afraid?" I heard his voice and realized I had looked down and was staring at our intertwined fingers.
Looking back up I noticed his face was a little drawn, like he was worried about my answer. In response to his unspoken question I dropped his hand, I heard a small shocked sound come from him and then my lips were on his. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him to me. He was firm against me, almost stone still for a split second and then a deep sigh came from his chest as his body relaxed into mine. His mouth opened against my lips and my heart began to race at the taste and smell of his warm rose tinted breath, I was just trying to worm my way closer to his lap when I heard my father's voice.
"That's enough you two." The words were stern but when I broke away from Julian and spun around to look at him, there was a bit of embarrassment and humor in his eyes.
"Sorry daddy," I mumbled turning back to Julian. Julian had his eyes closed and was sitting perfectly still, though I could feel the tension radiating off him.
"It's time for your medicine," dad told me and placed two little blue pills on the table next to me, "I promised your mother you'd take them on time. Why don’t you guys go into the living room, the seats are much more comfortable," my father left, the laughter plain in his voice as he went back to hide in his office. I picked up the pills and very quickly gulped them down with my orange juice before looking back at Julian.
"Rose, while I am glad you don’t seem to be afraid, please," he leaned forward and took my hands in his, bringing them to his lips, "never do that again without warning me, I'm not used to such affection." He stood, pulling me with him. As we began to walk to the living room a shiver of cold was pulsing from where he held my hands to my chest. I asked myself, where could Julian have been raised that he wasn't used to affection?
"I know I should let you go, but I cannot and to be quite frank I don’t want to, I will try my hardest to keep you safe, but when you kiss me like that it gets difficult, just...warn me first OK?" He finished, pushing me down onto the couch, his eyes serious as he looked at me.
I looked back up at him, "You don't make any sense, you are the oddest person I've ever met," I told him, "but I don’t care either. I might not understand but I promise to warn you before I kiss you again." He sat down next to me.
"Good, one day I hope you'll understand, I'm putting all my eggs in one basket with you, let's hope I'm not making a mistake" he told me, turning to face me.
We were looking at each other, close together, so close my heart kept skipping a beat. We just sat there in silence, his hands in mine, my hands almost as cold as his from holding them.
"Would you calm down, your heart beat is terrifying," he finally whispered into
the silence.
"I can't, it's how you affect me," I shrugged. He laughed, an almost bitter sound.
"I wish I could show you how you affect me," he reached up and brushed his thumb over my bottom lip.
"I think I might....already know," I whispered, blinking rapidly at the thick emotion I could feel surrounding us.
"Let me...do something?" he asked.
"Tell me what it is first." I told him, leaning in farther to catch his scent in my nostrils again; his scent helped me calm down my heart. It was odd, but it truly helped regulate the beats.
"It's something so that I can always find you, if our very problematic relationship is to get any more serious then I need to be able to find you anywhere, at any time, especially if I am not with you." Julian leaned back and cupped my face with his hands, "but I need your permission." Find me? What did he mean, like install a tracking device under my skin. I didn't think so. What was wrong with him? He spoke so strMely sometimes.
"Why is it such a big deal?" I questioned, watching him quell the emotions traveling over his face.
"It's another of my odd quirks; I don’t want you to be afraid." Julian said.
"What do you have to do?" I asked, watching how the blue in his eyes seemed to darken until they were almost black.
"I cannot tell you, but I must put my mouth on your skin...." he murmured, leaning closer to me, his breath passing over my skin causing a chill to go up my spine.
"Is that," I gasped my heart beginning to race again, "the weird part?"
"Part of it," he breathed, tilting my head to the side, lips feathering across the sensitive part of my neck. One hand was still cradling my head while the other reached up and rubbed the skin of my neck lightly, causing goose bumps to break out all over me.
"Will it hurt?" My mind was going fuzzy from the intense emotions I was feeling, plus the fact I was getting a little faint.
"No, I'd never hurt you," I felt Julian's tongue dart out and lick me, it made me tremble. He paused; I could tell, for my answer, I nodded, all sorts of feelings swamping me.
