The One Real Regret

by Janet Nissenson

  “Leave those on,” he muttered hoarsely, gazing heatedly at the bra and panty set of pale cream lace. “At least until I can be the one to take them off of you.”

  She trembled in reaction at the burning lust in his eyes but didn’t dare disobey. He joined her on the bed a second later, pulling her against his hard, muscled body as his hands roamed freely over her own mostly naked form.

  “Ohh!” she gasped as Max yanked one of the fragile lace cups down just far enough to bare her breast, then threaded her hands into his hair as he licked a slow, arousing circle around the nipple.

  Clumsily, he unhooked the bra, letting it fall heedlessly to the floor as he took both breasts in his palms, pushing them together as he sucked on each nipple in turn.

  “Max!” she cried out as he slipped one palm over her belly and then lower, until his fingers were delving into her pubic hair.

  Her buttocks rose up off the bed in shock when he shoved two fingers up inside her vagina, with Max growling in reaction to find her wet and ready for him.

  He eased her panties off her legs unsteadily, his breathing ragged as he began to spread her thighs apart. “I wanted to make this last,” he panted. “I haven’t been with anyone since our last time together, Jill, couldn’t bear to even look at another woman when she wasn’t you. God knows how much I need you, love, how much I need this. But I don’t think I can - ”

  She took hold of his hard, pulsing erection, smiling in satisfaction at his long, drawn-out groan of pleasure at her touch. “Then don’t,” she urged. “Don’t wait any longer. Don’t hold back. And I - well, I’m using birth control so you don’t need to worry about a condom. Unless, that is, you’re worried about, well, you know. Because if you are, I think there might be a few stashed in the bathroom somewhere, a gag gift Shoshana gave me when I moved to town. I can just - ah, God!”

  Evidently all Max had needed to hear was that she was protected, because he wasted no time after that before thrusting his cock inside her warm, welcoming body. Jill had forgotten how big he was, how she had always felt dominated by his tall, muscular body surrounding hers, but only ever in a good way - a very, very good way. It was the first time he’d ever been inside of her without a condom, and the feel of his bare cock was indescribably erotic, unbearably arousing.

  When he lifted one of her legs to wrap around his waist she automatically did the same with the other limb, until their bodies were so closely entwined they were like one being. He couldn’t stop kissing her, his lips and tongue devouring her mouth before tracing hot, fervent paths along her cheek, chin, throat, and then claiming her lips once again.

  Max possessed her like a starving man, his thrusts almost desperately hungry, as though he needed to own every inch of her body. Sex with him had never been quite this wild or frantic, she thought faintly, and there was something different this time, something that made this feel almost like the very first time they’d made love.

  And then it dawned on her, even as she felt the first stirrings of a climax building deep in her belly. This time felt so different because it was the first time Max had admitted to loving her. And while the passion that had always existed between them burned hotter than ever, there was also a tenderness, an emotional connection, and a commitment that made everything ten times as beautiful, a hundred times more meaningful.

  Jill wept as she came, the tears streaming unchecked down her cheeks as she was now the one to press kisses along her lover’s cheek and forehead and lips as he, too, found release. He held her close afterwards, soothing her with his words, and brushing away her tears with the backs of his knuckles.

  “Hush, love,” he murmured softly. “There’s no need to cry. Everything is going to be all right now, Jill.”

  “I - I know,” she sniffled, nestling her head trustingly against his chest. “I was crying because it was just so beautiful, and because I’m so happy right now. I don’t think I was truly happy even once in the time we were apart.”

  Max’s hand continued to stroke her back tenderly. “Not even with Tyler?” he asked guardedly.

  “No.” She hadn’t had to think twice about the question. “And I know now that I never really loved him, either. I think I always knew that, if I’m being honest with myself. We had some good times together, it was fun to be included in all of his family events, to feel like part of a real family for once in my life. But I would never have been able to marry him, Max. It wouldn’t have been fair to Tyler. Because I think there’s only ever going to be one man for me - the first, best, and only one. So you’d better not break my heart again, Max Wainwright, or I swear I won’t take no for an answer this time. I’ll hound you and stalk you and follow you to the farthest corners of the earth if necessary.”

  He laughed, squeezing her so tight she gave a little yelp of protest. “I assure you that won’t be necessary, love. Because I have no intention of breaking your heart. Because it’s exactly the same for me, Jill. You’re the first woman I’ve ever loved, certainly the best woman I’ve ever known, and definitely the only one for me.”

  He grew serious as he trailed a fingertip down the bridge of her nose. “For the first two dozen or so years of my life I rarely if ever had anything new. I lived in old, rundown rooms and apartments, slept on used cots, shabby bedding. The few articles of clothing I had, and never more than one pair of shoes at a time, all came from charity shops. When I went to the boarding school, the uniform I was given, along with my school books, had belonged to a previous student. Even at Stanford the clothes I bought were mostly secondhand. The first place I lived in after graduation was a cramped little studio, furnished with pieces I bought at garage sales, and the first car I ever owned was a ten year old compact.” Max rubbed his nose against hers, his voice catching as he continued. “When you gave me the gift of your virginity, Jill, the precious, priceless gift of your innocence, it was one of the only times in my life I’d been given something so new and fresh and pure. And even though you might not have realized it at the time, I cherished that gift like nothing I’ve ever done before.”

  “Max,” she murmured in wonder, startled to see the shimmer of tears in his dark eyes. “I wish I could tell you that there’s been no one else for me during our time apart. There wasn’t, you know, for a very long time. Not until I met Tyler. And it was never the same with - ”

  “Shh.” He shook his head before she could continue. “You don’t owe me any sort of explanation, Jill. And you most certainly don’t need to feel badly about being with another man. I fully expected that you would have moved on long ago, that any other man wouldn’t have been half as stupid as I had been to let you go. You deserved to be happy more than anyone I’d ever met, love, and I would never, ever begrudge you that happiness.”

  “You make me happy,” insisted Jill. “I’ve never in my life known the sort of happiness I felt when I was with you in Seattle. And I know now that I never got over you, Max, no matter how much I might have tried lying to my friends or to myself about it. And I realize we still have a long way to travel in this relationship, lots of things to figure out as we go along. But if we do all that together it can only make it easier, don’t you agree?”

  He grinned. “It would be very, very unwise of me to disagree with anything the youngest female CFO in this country says. And while we don’t know for certain that you’re the youngest, you are definitely the smartest.”

  Jill laughed in delight. “I was smart enough to say yes when you asked me out to dinner that first time.”

  Max caressed her cheek. “And forgiving enough to give me a second chance. And compassionate enough to look past all the things I’ve done in the past and love me in spite of them.”

  She kissed him fiercely. “I love you even more because of what happened to you in the past,” she insisted. “Because those times in your life, horrible as they were, only made you stronger, Max. And telling me all about them a little while ago, confessing your deepest and darkest secrets - we
ll, if I hadn’t already loved you with all my heart I definitely did then. Being vulnerable doesn’t mean you’re weak, Max. On the contrary. It takes a very strong person to open up the way you just did. A person who is more than deserving of my love.”

  He buried his face against her neck, too overcome with emotion to trust himself not to start weeping. “I might not be worthy of that love right now,” he whispered hoarsely, “but I swear I will never keep trying to be the sort of man who deserves a woman like you. I might have been stupid enough to let you go once, but I’m wise enough now to have learned my lesson. I love you, Jill. And this time I’m keeping you with me. Forever.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “I really think you should check your messages. That’s probably the twentieth time your phone has pinged in the last couple of hours.”

  Max scowled as he reluctantly picked up his phone from the nightstand on his side of Jill’s bed. “I already know who’s messaging me - one or more of my well-meaning but very nosy friends. Let me see. Ah, I was right. Though your estimates were a bit off, love. I have six messages from Jordan, ten from Finn, and five each from Aubrey and Delilah.”

  Jill rose up onto her forearms, grinning as she watched him scroll through his texts. “You might call it being nosy, but I call it expressing their love and affection,” she declared. “They really care about you, Max. It should make you feel good.”

  He set his phone aside and unexpectedly pounced on her, rolling her beneath his body as he leaned his face down close to hers. “I already feel good,” he purred. “In fact, I haven’t felt this good in four years. And it’s the type of good I only feel when you’re with me.”

  She swatted him playfully on the shoulder. “You’re insatiable, you know that, don’t you?” she teased. “And I realize you hadn’t had sex in four years until earlier today, but I’m not sure either of us is physically capable of making up for all that last time in the space of a day.”

  Max chuckled, rolling to his side as he hooked an arm around her waist. “Probably not. It might take the entire weekend. I hope you don’t have any other pressing plans.”

  This time she sunk her teeth into his shoulder, then smiled at him sweetly when he yelped. “Just my laundry and some grocery shopping, but they can wait until tomorrow. What can’t wait any longer, however, is for you to reply to your friends. You’re being awfully rude to ignore them, Max, especially after they all gave you such good advice last night.”

  “Fine.” He huffed in resignation before grabbing his phone and propping himself up against his pillow. “I’ll send them a group text, tell them everything is just fine, and to go bugger off for the next few days.”

  “You will not,” insisted Jill as she propped herself up next to him. “In fact, if they’re available, I think it might be a nice idea to meet them tonight. We could go out to dinner together, or invite them over here. My place is pretty small, as you’ve already noticed, but we can squeeze six people in. I’m not a very fancy cook but I could manage - ”

  “No.” He shook his head adamantly. “No cooking. And my very inquisitive friends will have to wait awhile longer to meet you. I want you all to myself this weekend.”

  She trailed her fingers up the middle of his bare chest. “It’s just dinner, Max,” she reasoned. “A few hours at most. After all, you and I will need to eat at some point. And as much as I love you, as much as I’ve loved spending the entire day in bed thus far, certain muscle groups in my body might appreciate a little break from all the, uh, activity.”

  “Tired of me already?” he joked, capturing her hand and bringing it to his lips. “Though I suppose you’re right about having to eat a real meal. I think all we’ve consumed today is coffee and toast.”

  “You forgot about the banana,” Jill reminded him impishly. “The one banana that we wound up sharing. I really do need to get to the grocery store.”

  He arched a brow at her reproachfully. “And when you do I’d suggest stocking up on more than a week’s worth of supplies at a time so you don’t run out of food. I expect that’s one of the reasons you’ve lost some weight since I saw you last - you aren’t eating nearly enough while you are working far too many hours.”

  She smiled at him sweetly. “Here’s an idea. It’s what time - God, one o’clock already? We get dressed, grab a quick lunch somewhere, and then hit the grocery store where we can buy stuff to cook for dinner tonight. The dinner we’re going to invite your friends over to share. I think you should - ow!”

  He guffawed as she rubbed the spot on her buttock he’d just smacked teasingly. “You are a stubborn little minx, aren’t you?” he asked in amusement. “Fine, we’ll compromise. I’ll take you to lunch, then the grocery store. We’ll also need to make a quick stop at my house so I can get a change of clothes. However,” he added, waggling a finger, “you are not cooking for my friends. I’ll see if they’re available to come over here this evening - my guess is they’ll be so anxious to meet you that they’d cancel any plans they might have. But we’ll get takeout or delivery instead. Agreed?”

  She nodded, then captured his wrist, sucking his index finger between her lips suggestively as she batted her lashes at him “You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Wainwright,” she replied in a deliberately exaggerated Southern drawl. “And speaking of hard. Mmm, you are definitely trying to make up for lost time, aren’t you?”

  Max hissed as her soft hand latched onto his rapidly hardening cock. “Christ,” he rasped, his head arching against the headboard as she began to stroke him slowly and deliberately, exactly the way he’d taught her four years ago. Helplessly he watched as she slithered down his body, like a sensual, seductive serpent, until her face was level with his groin. He jerked in reaction when she ran her tongue up and down the length of his penis, then flicked it over the slit with short, rapid strokes. In another instant he was fully erect, something of a minor miracle considering he’d already climaxed three times this morning. But his body was evidently far from sated, was still greedy for her touch, and he didn’t resist as she took him deep inside her mouth.

  He watched her as she sucked his cock, watched those plush pink lips slide up and down his length, taking a bit more of him into her mouth with each upward motion. Her hand slipped between his thighs to lightly fondle his balls, and he very nearly lost it on the spot, his entire body quivering with the need to come. Jill released his penis from her mouth briefly, only to greedily lap up the thick beads of pre-ejaculate that had pooled around the slit. She looked up at him then, with all that glorious golden brown hair falling like a curtain around her face, her pale green eyes heavy lidded with passion, and her lips parted as she breathed unsteadily. She was so damned sexy, his sweet but sensual temptress, that the very last bit of self-control he’d been able to exert over himself shredded apart completely.

  Growling beneath his breath, Max tumbled her onto her back, wrenched her thighs apart, and surged inside her hot, tight pussy with one brutal thrust, hard enough to elicit a cry of shock from her throat. The sensation of being bare inside of her was still new to him, and he exulted in feeling all of that velvety wetness clench around his cock with each thrust. Their bodies were slippery with sweat as they continued to move together, his need to come constantly warring with his desire to prolong this overwhelming pleasure.

  It was the telltale little spasms around her pelvic floor, the ones that signaled the rapid approach of her orgasm, that triggered his own release. Her pants and moans were intermingled with the long, low groan that escaped from his throat as they both shuddered in reaction.

  “I love you, Jill,” he whispered against her ear, holding her still trembling body close against his. “I have no idea how I’ve managed to survive these past four years without you in my life. It’s been half a life at best, a shadow of a life at its worst.”

  “Shh,” she soothed, kissing him softly. “That’s all going to change now, Max. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but we’l
l figure it out together. Now, as much as I love lounging around in bed all day with you, as much as I love you, I’m really starting to feel light headed from lack of food.”

  He grinned. “I think the lightheadedness is just the afterglow. A perfectly normal experience after an orgasm.”

  Jill took his hand and placed it over her belly. “Maybe so, but those are definitely hunger pangs I feel rumbling. And there is no possible way those are a result of really amazing sex. So shower, clothes, and food - in that order.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he teased, dropping a kiss on her forehead before tugging her out of bed and along with him into the bathroom.

  The shower, though completely modernized with its pale blue subway tiles, rain showerhead, and frameless glass block door, wasn’t very large, so it was something of a tight squeeze for both of them to use it at once. But Max didn’t mind in the least, especially since it meant there was no way to avoid brushing up against wet, delectable female flesh every few seconds, or feeling a soft, round breast pressing into his back or arm or one of her hands touching an intimate part of his body.

  “You’re lucky this shower is so small,” he growled warningly in her ear as she gave his buttock a teasing squeeze. “Otherwise, I’d be inside of you right about now, making up for some more of that lost time.”

  Jill’s eyes twinkled at him merrily. “My bad luck to have rented a place with such a small shower then, I guess.”

  He shook his head as he turned off the water. “Your place is charming, Jill. Just like you. And even though it’s not as conveniently located to your office or shopping and restaurants as some other neighborhoods might have been, I can definitely understand why you were drawn to this little house. It feels like an oasis tucked away in a hidden corner of the big city.”