Arousal

by A. C. Rose

  I stripped off my shirt, bra, and pants before lying down on the bed. I didn’t even bother to shower. I wanted to leave his kisses and touches on my flesh, and I was anxious to get to my dreams.

  My dream that night played like a dystopian movie, with futuristic sex. In the dream I was in a super modern, round bed. When Nicolai’s beautiful face came onto a screen as big as the front glass window of his house, his voice pervaded the air around me, as if it was exuding from multiple speakers. He was sexy and dominating. His larger than life presence was overwhelming and arousing. I liked him taking control.

  “Open your legs for me,” he commanded. “Let the air caress your inner thighs. Pretend I am there, kissing you again between your legs, licking you, and tasting your arousal. When a man kisses a woman between her legs he is showing her how intimate he can be, and how much he desires her pleasure. I desire your pleasure.”

  “I want you so bad,” I said, opening and feeling the first tickles of need. “Taste me.”

  “Feel me between your legs.” He was whispering now. “Feel my mouth exploring. You have waited patiently for me to taste you again, to make you mine with my mouth.”

  “Yes.” I was squirming, opening to him, as if he were in the room. “Make me yours.”

  “My tongue knows what to do and where to go to make you feel so good.” His words were softer and sexy. “I am on the most sensitive part of you and licking where all the most delicate nerve endings are. I am diving in deep, deep inside you, fucking you, loving you, and filling you with my tongue. You are about to come, so I slide my fingers in you and massage that special spot to make you come even harder.”

  “Only you can give me that kind of pleasure,” I said, hips moving to the sound of his voice. “I open to you.”

  “My cock is poised at the gates of pleasure,” he continued. “I go in slowly, but with enough force to make the first thrust quick and deep. Your muscles contract around me. You’re squeezing me, trying to pull me deeper into your hunger. You are properly made-love to by a man who wants you and loves you and desires your pleasure more than his own.”

  “I want you to show me how much you love me,” I said, arousal stirring between my legs and in my heart. “I’m ready.”

  “Each breath is moving us toward a release.” His words flowed out on a pleasant rhythm. “We press to get closer, to have more of each other. We can’t get enough. We cannot tell where I end and you begin. And the pleasure explodes in us both. I empty into you. You empty onto me. We collapse in a passionate embrace. Everything is so sensitive, so freshly open, that life suddenly feels different. Our loving has opened a door, a portal, to a new place. We step inside, hand-in-hand.”

  His words worked their way deep inside me. There was a fire sweeping across my body and burning between my legs. My flesh tingled with the promise of him. My nipples hardened, filled with desire. I was wet. Really wet. My hips lurched upward to meet his invisible touch.

  Sexual need permeated every part of me. But all these hours of trying not to come had given me some discipline. Before grabbing a dream vibrator and taking charge of my own orgasm, I politely told him what I was going to do.

  “Nicolai, I have to touch myself.” I was like a dam about to burst and I needed relief.

  “I’ll watch you, my love,” said dream Nicolai, his face hovering over me from the screen. “Show me how to make you feel good.”

  I lowered my hand between my legs, and, with his eyes on me, soothed the need.

  “Come, baby,” he coaxed, breathing along with me as my orgasm drew near.

  My fingers brought on the release I needed, but I wanted his body buried in mine.

  “Next time, it will be me touching you,” he promised.

  Just then the phone rang in perfect timing with the dream’s end. It was Nicolai.

  I may have had a subliminal orgasm, but my waking body was hot-wired with erotic need. I couldn’t help thinking that these dreams I kept having were somehow changing me. In my nighttime imaginings, I felt freer, and each morning I woke up feeling more liberated.

  “Good morning,” he said, sounding wide-awake. “I was just admiring your mark on my neck.”

  “Maybe I’m the vampire.” It would be humorous to discover that the paranormal person in this equation was me. “Because I really liked the taste of you.”

  “That’s because I taste like you,” he said, sweet-talking me before I even had my coffee. “We have extremely compatible pheromones.”

  “Hey, I have a question.” I opened my eyes a little wider and stretched my body out, only to realize I was in need of a real orgasm. “Is there a limit to how much arousal a person can take?” I sighed. “My body is aching for you.”

  “Aching … for me?” He sounded excited.

  “Yes, for you.” This was clearly all his fault.

  “That’s one of the most beautiful things these ears have ever heard,” he paused, as if he were being careful not to reveal too much emotion. “That you ache only for me.”

  I pressed my cheek against the phone as if it was him. Some things he said were corny and old-fashioned, but every little milestone seemed to matter to him. He made it clear I mattered to him.

  “It’s been three days, and I already feel like you are part of me.” It was still strange to utter thing like that, yet it felt safe with him. “How did you get under my skin?”

  “Strong desire can transform us so we can embrace our destiny,” he said. There was a time when a statement like that would be too pithy, or too full of shit, for the morning, or any time. Now it seemed sincere.

  I sighed. “I miss you, Nicolai.”

  “I know, my love. I will send for you after work, later today. “

  “Until then.” Even I sounded like I was speaking lines from romance movies.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Friday: Day Four/ Fourth Date

  I got dressed, and this time tried not to torture myself with a long shower. I slipped into casual Friday clothes but packed a small bag with a dress for the evening. I was eager to get back to my desk and finish making the arrangements for The Today Show segment before Sheila could insinuate herself into the situation, or sabotage it in some way. She was smart enough to know we had to produce results for clients, but she had a way of adding drama and difficulty to everything. I took a cab to work to get an early start.

  When I got into the office, two bad things happened.

  One, there was a gigantic bouquet of roses in various colors waiting for me at the front desk. I guessed who they were from. I couldn’t get them into my office without passing by Sheila’s.

  Two, Sheila called me into her office when she saw me pass with the flowers.

  This will not go well.

  “How was the meeting with Nicolai yesterday?” Her voice dripped with disdain and suspicion. “I expected you back in the office, not emailing me with excuses for your extended absence.”

  “It was a casual, breakfast and lunch thing. Then a lot of talking.” I tried not to lie. “It lasted longer than expected.”

  “He seems very interested in you,” she said, looking up at me from over her reading glasses, a sneer on her lips.

  “He’s friendly,” I said, squirming, and not in a good way. “He tells me it’s his culture. It’s a friendly culture.”

  “Those are beautiful flowers, the kind of flowers a romantic man like Nicolai would send.” There it was. The accusation would not be far behind.

  “I haven’t opened the card yet,” I snapped. “But maybe you have?” I regretted saying that, immediately, but she’d cornered me and I lashed out.

  “From one woman to another, you need to be careful about involvement with clients,” she warned, removing her glasses and placing them in front of her. “We don’t take kindly to it here. We don’t sleep with our clients. And we don’t tolerate people who use a client to advance their career.”

  “I don’t sleep with our clients either, so I’m not sure where you’
re coming from,” I shot. “To advance my career? Are you kidding me?” My blood was boiling, considering how tortured I was when I learned Nicolai was a client.

  “I saw you getting into his limo after work two days ago.” Her tone was sharp and reproachful. Crap. She was collecting evidence against me.

  A wave of panic shot through me, but I looked at her and said nothing.

  “The account is more important than the account executive,” she said. “Just remember that. You could be out of here in a nanosecond if we find out there is something going on with you two. Even if you are the founder’s daughter, there are rules.” Bringing my dad into it was a low blow.

  “Duly noted.”

  “Besides,” she said, “you wouldn’t want it to get out in the industry that you slept around with clients. You know that never goes well.” After that, she put her attention back on her computer and ignored me.

  I went back to my office, hauling my flowers, and closed the door. I stared into space for a while. Now I was really distracted. Not only was this man driving me into a sexual frenzy, he was going to get me fired. I couldn’t believe roses were going to be my downfall. Fuck.

  I set the flowers down and opened the card. It read:

  Orange is for desire and passion.

  Pink is for romance.

  White is for new beginnings.

  Lavender is for love at first sight.

  Yours, Nicolai.

  Damn, why did he have to be so freaking sweet, and, more importantly, why send them now, when he knew it was going to make people—Sheila—ask questions?

  Against my better judgment, I called him. I should have known to never call when I’m upset because he was only going to want to come and fix it.

  “Nicolai.” My voice was still shaky after my early morning experience.

  “What’s the matter, my love? Did you get my flowers?”

  “Yes, they’re beautiful. Thank you. But the timing may have been bad.”

  “Were you upset by the meaning of lavender?” I loved that he made the effort to be so romantic, but was upset he sent flowers to the office. They raised Sheila’s ire, and he had to know they would. Why didn’t he just send them to my house?

  “That’s not exactly why I am upset. Sheila’s accused me of sleeping with you.”

  “Did you tell her it’s not true—yet?” He laughed. I knew he was trying to lighten me up, but I was too freaked out to find humor in any of this.

  “Of course, but she claims to have seen me get into your car outside the office the other night.”

  “So what exactly is the problem?” Did he honestly not get that this gave her reason to suspect something?

  “It looks like I am fucking you especially when she saw a huge bouquet of flowers for me, a day after I was out of the office with you.” I was exasperated that he did not seem to get that the limo sighting and flowers were something my crazy, jealous boss could construe as an affair.

  “Well, clearly, at this moment in time, you have nothing to worry about. Don’t buy into her scare tactics.” How could he be so cool? Maybe because he was the one who didn’t have to worry about losing his job!

  “She threatened to fire me,” I said, anxiety running through me. “She said ‘we don’t sleep with our clients.’ And said I would be out of here in a nanosecond if they find out something is going on between us. She brought up my father. It was mortifying.” I felt panicky, as if Sheila could swoop in with a security guard at any moment and remove me from the premises.

  “Sweetheart, this is not as big a worry as you think,” he assured me. I had his rapt attention now. “She’s rattled you. And she toyed with all the vulnerable spots, like your father and your fear of being kicked out of his firm. She is trying to control you and fuck with you. She’s not really going to fire you.”

  “But it’s a big, huge, overwhelming worry,” I countered. Sheila made me fearful she wouldn’t just fire me, but she’s spread the word around. “This is my reputation. People don’t like to work with women known for sexing the client.”

  “But what is happening with us has nothing to do with inappropriate behavior on your part,” he said. His tone was caring, yet he sounded like he’d had it with Sheila’s meddling. “It’s not like that. This is our lives. And it is none of Sheila’s business.”

  “It sucks that a man can have sex with any woman he wants at work, and still go on in the business world without the blink of the eye. Women get labeled as screwing someone to get ahead. People are unforgiving.”

  “I’m coming over.”

  “No! To do what?” I needed him to listen to me and agree that this was a train wreck. I didn’t intend for him to come running over.

  “To work this out.” It sounded like he was already walking, leaving his office.

  “How can you work this out?” I was panicking twice as much now.

  “I’m going to talk with Sheila.”

  “No. No. You can’t. That will make it worse.” Oh Jeez, this is bad. “She’ll hate me.”

  “I’m sorry to say, that ship has sailed.” I could hear from his breath he was walking fast and he was more agitated. “If she liked you to begin with, she’d be taking you out to coffee to discuss this. Instead she’s bullying you.”

  “I can usually handle her,” I said, sucking in a breath and wishing I could go back in time and not have called him. “But I have no defense, really. I broke the rules.”

  “Let me help. It’s my fault this is happening.” I assumed he meant sending the flowers and giving her something to use as exhibit A. I didn’t expect a new bombshell. “She secretly tried to talk me out of having you at our ‘onsite.’ She called me into her office when I tried to leave to meet you the other night. She must have had someone watching us. I had no idea she would stoop that far, but I should have told you about her strong opinion in favor of my not spending time with you.”

  I remembered the delay while I waited for him in the back of the limo after the meeting in the boardroom. I should have been furious at him for not telling me she cornered him. But instead, I felt sad. In the few short days I found myself caring for someone, the other most important part of my life was falling apart.

  “I don’t want to lose my job, Nicolai. Not for this reason. I don’t want to get shut out of my father’s company.”

  “Stay put in your office.” It sounded like he was getting into his car. I heard Sam’s voice and doors closing. “I will be right there.”

  My world as I knew it was crashing down. I could feel it. I was fooling around with the client. Regardless of how we felt about each other, it was against the company rules and indicated poor judgment on my part, or poor self-control. How could he possibly protect me from the wrath of Sheila, or help shoulder this burden?

  I opened my office door so I could keep an eye out for his arrival in the lobby. Within twenty minutes, Nicolai came walking in, cool, confident, and charming his way past the receptionist and heading directly to my private office to come collect me. He wore a light gray business suit, a white shirt, no tie, and had a little more beard scruff than usual. He probably hadn’t had a chance to shave and trim yet, but he looked like a model for a Men’s Fitness article on how to make women fall in love with you at work. He stopped to kiss me and then grabbed my hand, pulling me toward Sheila’s office. I was mortified. I felt like a child being dragged to the principal’s office. I braced myself for the most humiliating moment of my professional life.

  He pressed open the door without knocking. Such an alpha.

  “Sheila, how are you, today?” he said, not even trying to smile.

  “So good to see you, Nicolai.” She greeted him with a fake, plastic Botox smile.

  She looked at me with disdain. Or was it disgust? She wasn’t happy to see me again.

  “I just wanted to clarify something for you.” He let go of my hand walked and farther into the room but kept a slight distance.

  “Of course, Nicolai,” she said, eyela
shes fluttering.

  “Ms. Monroe and I are not fucking.”

  Her mouth dropped open. And mine did too. Holy Mother of God. Nicolai, being his typical self, was not mincing words.

  “And, if we were, it would be none of your fucking business.”

  She raised her eyebrows slightly, then sat in her chair as if leaning back to watch a show. An air of arrogance filled the space around her.

  “She’s still an employee of this company,” she countered, raising a manicured red fingernail to her chin. “I am within my rights to discuss areas I feel are HR problems.”

  “Just a reminder,” he said, stepping a little closer to her. “I have a three-million-dollar retainer with this company, a company Ms. Monroe’s father founded. And I have an option to opt out before the next payment cycle, at my discretion. It’s the biggest account you’ve ever had in recent times. My money is keeping this firm alive. Don’t give me reason to take my business elsewhere.”

  Holy crap. That retainer was huge. Years ago, when my dad handled the international public relations for royalty and foreign countries, retainers were in the millions. Berke had told me the power of the Internet and the downturn in the economy had changed things and drained the company coffers. Nicolai’s company was paying everyone’s salary.

  “Of course,” she said, clearing her throat, but keeping her calm in the way only mean bitches could in high stress situations. “I think I understand you.”

  “Good.” He stood like a warrior, strong and tall, yet waiting to see her next play.

  She shifted in her chair, pulling herself forward. “We are here to serve you, and if you want your retainer to include the personal, um, services of Ms. Monroe, fine. You can utilize her any way you want.”

  I was flabbergasted. She was offering me as part of the package, like some sort of sexual add-on! Now I wanted to smack her.

  But Nicolai took her on like a man. He laughed. Then he walked to the edge of her desk and leaned in.

  “No, I don’t think you do understand because you are still talking about her as if she is an adolescent rather than a top-notch professional, and you’re looking at her with contempt, yet she has done nothing wrong.” He hovered just shy of her personal space and looked down on her. “Ms. Monroe is hardly the kind of person who would intentionally mix business with pleasure for personal gain—unlike others in this company.”