The Game On! Diet

by Krista Vernoff

  * * *

  There are, believe it or not, days when I forget about this rule entirely. But there are also days when I can’t live without a York Peppermint Patty after lunch, and even if I can, I don’t want to. There are only 40 calories in the little ones. So I get to eat TWO. And when you know you get only two, you chew them slowly, taste them fully, and actually feel satisfied afterward. (Whereas, in the past, I might have popped eight of them in while working and chatting and not even tasted most of them. And then maybe felt a little sick after.)

  This rule entitles us to culinary delights. But because 100 calories of culinary delights come in pretty small packages, it also encourages us to get present with our food, which many experts say is the ultimate key to losing weight and keeping it off. (And, by the way, because you can’t generally measure calories in a birthday cake or homemade ice cream, a good rule on this is the rule of thumb—no larger a portion than the size of your thumb and you should be within your 100-calorie limit.)

  Please note that the only things you may NOT consume under this rule are soda, diet soda, and alcohol. Why? Because alcohol wreaks havoc with your metabolism’s ability to do its job. And soda and diet soda are largely responsible for the obesity epidemic in this country. Our hope is to break you of the soda habit completely! (Or at the very least make you save them for your day and/or meal off.)

  I looooove the 100 calories rule! Love it love it love it love it love it. No other diet I’ve tried lets me eat my Smarties and not feel guilty!! So on other diets, I obsess about them. Now I don’t obsess, I just enjoy the heck out of them—and I keep losing weight!

  —J.K., 35

  The Meal Off

  Speaking of the meal off, it has the same antideprivation effect as the 100 calories. The meal off also allows you to go out with friends once a week and not have to be “the dieter.” Or it allows you to indulge in a coworker’s birthday cake at the office. Or it allows you to cook pancakes on a Thursday morning for no good reason.

  But aside from the psychological effects, the meal off and day off actually serve a physiological purpose, which is to boost your caloric intake so that your body doesn’t adjust to the calorie deficit and hit a plateau. What does that mean?

  It means that even if you are, unlike me, a person who thrives on routine, you should still boost your calories twice a week. Do you have to eat candy and crap? No. And I will admit that you will be much healthier for not eating it. But you must still bring your calories up to non-dieting levels twice a week to avoid the dreaded “plateau” effect that many people experience when dieting. (For more on this, see Chapter 16, Troubleshooting.)

  * * *

  • • • A Tip from Az • • •

  A lot of folks wonder if they really need to take the Day Off. My answer is, absolutely they do. It is not a day of bingeing! It is not a day of insanity (as Krista learned the hard way). It is a day of rest—a day when you don’t have to think about the rules, don’t have to think about the “diet,” don’t have to think.

  The body, mind, and spirit really do require a day of rest in order to function at maximum intensity for the rest of the week. So enjoy the day! And yeah, even indulge a little (because the calorie boost really helps your metabolism thrive!). Learn to enjoy the great pleasures of life—some of which come in the form of food. Skip the cheap candy bar (unless a cheap candy bar is truly your favorite food) and try a really good panna cotta or crème brûlée (my favorite poison).

  And then practice the art of forgoing regret!

  Guilt-free indulgence is one of the truly happiest side effects of playing this game!

  * * *

  The other really nice thing about the Day Off, the Meal Off, and the 100 Calories of Whatever is that they teach those of us who have been taught to think in extremes that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. How many times have you started your day with good intentions (diet-wise) and then eaten a donut at the office and thought, “Well fuck it. This day is a waste. May as well go to McDonald’s for lunch and eat a pint of ice cream for dinner.” Turns out, that’s not true. Turns out, calories are cumulative, and just because you ate a donut, the day is not a total waste. People who are naturally sane around food already understand this. I did not. So these “rules,” these little indulgences, teach us—train us, even—that it’s possible to eat the donut and get right back on the healthy train for the rest of the day. (Even if the donut is a snacking penalty, you can get back on the game for the rest of the day!)

  What I love about this rule, and about this game, is that it acknowledges what no other “diet” I’ve tried acknowledges—that sometimes we need to indulge. That all of us, even the sanest eaters I know, use food emotionally. We use it to quell sadness, we use it to celebrate success, we use it for many reasons other than sustenance, and that isn’t such a terrible thing. It’s only a terrible thing—for our bodies, for our minds, for our spirits—when we use food that way all the time. When we regularly use food to not feel our feelings, to stuff them down, that’s a serious problem (and a sign that maybe we need more help than any diet book can provide). For more on this, let’s turn to a professional.

  * * *

  A word on emotional eating from therapist Jennifer Burton

  Eating for comfort is not always a problem. The problem arises when we are engaging in emotional eating on a regular basis, and doing so without awareness. Often we eat instead of letting ourselves feel whatever created the urge to eat in the first place. Some common emotions we tend to use food to avoid are anger, sadness, grief, embarrassment, loneliness, and frustration (and these are just a few). These feelings can arise from current life stress, or they can be a result of past issues bubbling to the surface.

  I would encourage inserting a pause (at least 5 minutes) prior to eating the snack you’re reaching for. During this pause, sit down, take a couple of breaths, and check in with your body. What do you notice inside? Remember that we wouldn’t know what our feelings are if our body wasn’t giving us clues (for example, throat tightening and tears can signify sadness, flushing and tension can signify anger, and so on), and for everyone the signs of emotions can be different. By checking in, you will get a sense of what your own body’s clues are. Once you notice what you are feeling and sensing inside, you might journal about what’s coming up and allow yourself to feel more deeply into it. This process of pausing, checking in, writing, and feeling will at least give you more awareness, and if you still choose the comfort food, you’ll be doing so mindfully.

  In addition, there are many other forms of comfort other than food (honestly). The feelings coming up for you may arise out of an unmet need. “I need a friend”; “I need rest”; “I need a hug.” Make a list of healthy resources that provide comfort. This list can include friends, pets, books and poems, hobbies, dancing or exercise, taking a bath, or even a stuffed animal you might still have around. By having a written list handy, you can decide to use healthy resources instead of eating. One caveat: when unmet needs come from unresolved past issues, you may need to seek professional help to address and heal those wounds. A trusted therapist can be helpful as you move down your path to a more balanced and fulfilling life (not to mention an added resource!)

  Jennifer Burton, MFT, CEAT, therapist specializing in trauma and other life issues www.jenniferburtonmft.com

  * * *

  As a side note, I feel I must add that if you are a person with an eating addiction then this rule might not work for you. Just as an alcoholic can’t have any alcohol or risk triggering a physical allergy and a mental obsession, a food addict has to live by different rules. If you think you’re a food addict, please seek help. They have twelve-step groups that are free (like Overeaters Anonymous) or you can get therapy or help from an eating-disorders specialist. (See the section on eating disorders at the end of Chapter 16.)

  Frequently Asked Questions

  Q:

  I’m going on vacation. Can I skip my day off this week so I can have
an extra day when I’m away?

  A:

  No, I’m sorry, you can’t. You’ll be screwing yourself this week by not giving your metabolism the calorie boost it needs and you’ll be screwing yourself next week by having two days off. But you can savor your meal off and your day off and enjoy the hell out of your vacation anyway!

  Q:

  I ate WAY too much on my day off and then had to have Tums the next day. Is there a penalty for that?

  A:

  Yes, the penalty is the physical pain you put yourself in! The reward is that hopefully you’ve learned from this experience. And by the way, Tums have 5 calories apiece and are not all-natural, so go easy. (Papaya is a good natural remedy for heartburn.)

  Q:

  I LOVE the day off. I mean really, really love it. So much so that I have a hard time getting motivated the next day to get back in the game. Any advice?

  A:

  Read the last chapter of this book. It’s a little pep talk just for you.

  Q:

  Whyyyyyyy can’t I have my diet soda every day?? It has NO CALORIES!!

  A:

  Please reread Chapter 14 about what you’re doing to your body when you drink that shit. (For starters, the sodium in the soda bloats you and the chemical sweeteners make you crave sweets and carbs. And that’s just for starters.) I really hope you will just quit it cold turkey. But if you can’t or don’t want to, you can still mainline the crack on your day off and meal off.

  Q:

  I admit that I’m a control freak. I like limitations—they make me feel safe, so the day off kind of messes with my head. Can I skip it?

  A:

  Boy, do I not relate. But okay, yeah, stick to F.Y.T. foods on your day off and just eat a little more of them. It actually doesn’t take that much extra to give your metabolism a boost.

  Q:

  I LOVE the day off rule, but I can’t stop my mind from telling me that I’m doing something wrong when I bump up my calories. I know it’s okay, but I still feel guilty. Any advice of what to do in those moments?

  A:

  Guilt is a waste of energy. If you persist in feeling guilty, do as the control freak does and stick to F.Y.T. foods on your day off—just eat more of them.

  Q:

  Do you lose points if you don’t take a day off?

  A:

  No, but you are actually setting yourself back. Do as the biblical God did and take a freakin’ day off! You’ve earned it!

  * * *

  Play by the Rules

  * * *

  You get one day off a week from all aspects of the game.

  Your food day off can be different from your water day off, which can be different from your exercise day off, etc.

  On your food day off you may consume alcohol but please don’t binge.

  You get one two-hour long meal off a week as well.

  At your meal off, you may also consume one portion of alcohol.

  You may consume 100 calories of whatever you want—except alcohol, soda, or diet soda—each day.

  Chapter 16

  TROUBLESHOOTING

  (Or, WTF Am I Doing Wrong?!)

  No problem is so big or so complicated that it can’t be run away from.

  —Charles Schulz

  I gained two pounds last week, while playing the game. First time ever that I’ve gained weight while playing. Am I pissed? No. Am I surprised? No. Am I irritated? Mmm…Not really. I knew it was a bad week. I knew it was a bad week because I had a headache that was so bad, I couldn’t exercise at all. I had a headache that was so bad, in fact, that my doctor ordered a head CT. A head CT.

  On Grey’s Anatomy, when we have the doctors order head CTs, that doesn’t usually go too well for the patient. There is almost always a tumor, or an aneurysm, or some rare condition that requires McDreamy to remove half of someone’s brain. Picture me, at my doctor’s office, explaining the exact combination of pounding and throbbing and pulsing in my skull that sets in at 11 a.m. every day. Now, the doctor I work with in the writer’s room had said it was probably sinusitis. So I’m expecting some antibiotics and a pat on the back. And instead, it goes like this:

  HIM: I’ve never heard of a sinus headache that throbs the way you’re describing. And I’ve never heard of a sinus headache that you don’t feel upon awakening. I’m gonna want to get a scan.

  ME: I’m sorry, what? A scan? You mean like a CT?

  HIM (all casual-like): Yeah.

  CUT TO:

  Me, driving to Beverly Hills, picturing saying a sobbing goodbye to my child and my husband, then watching my funeral as a ghost . Hmm…who would be there? Who would be crying? ME! I WOULD!! I WOULD BE A GHOST AND I WOULD BE FUCKING CRYING AT MY OWN FUNERAL!!! I’M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!!!

  CUT TO:

  Me, after the head CT, talking to the technician who ran it.

  ME: Are you looking at pictures of my brain?

  TECH: Yup.

  ME: How does it look?

  TECH: Not allowed to comment.

  ME (batting my lashes): Oh, I know. I know officially you’re not allowed to comment, but you guys do this all day. You know more than the doctors.

  TECH: Not allowed to comment, sorry.

  ME: What if I told you I’m the head writer at Grey’s Anatomy?

  TECH: (laughs)

  ME: No, seriously, I am. And I’m soooo curious to see what you guys actually do for a living.

  Turns out it was sinusitis. The nice tech showed me on the scan.

  So, I gained two pounds. And the almost-dying scenario that wasn’t real but felt real for about an hour? Puts that in perspective. I also know exactly why I gained weight: because I ate the amount of food I’m supposed to eat if I’m exercising every day and I did not exercise even one day. I should’ve cut my portions back, but I was busy and hungry and not really playing as passionately as I usually do because of the headache. A little weight gain—not so surprising. And this week, with the headache gone, I stepped it up and lost three pounds.

  That’s what I love about having all the information. I never have to wonder why. If I gained weight, it’s because I ate more energy than I burned. When I’m ready to lose it, I have to burn more than I eat. The end.

  So why didn’t I quit when my headache was so bad that I was losing my exercise points every day? Because even when I am playing this game at 80 percent or 70 percent or 60 percent, I am living a whole lot healthier life than I am when I’m not playing. And my commitment is to my health first, then to my team. And I always choose to play with people who get that and support that and play the same way. I would NEVER want a teammate to drop out because an illness was prompting a point loss. I would want them to play to the best of their ability (because the sleep and the water and healthy eating is the fastest way to recover from illness) and trust that someone on the other team is likely going through something similar. (Hmmm. Does that count as schadenfreude?)

  In preparation for writing this book, we did a lot of focus groups. Which means we played a lot of games, we had our friends play a lot of games, and we had a lot of strangers play a lot of games and report back to us.

  Here’s what we found: Most people lost a bunch of weight the first week (a couple of real pounds and then a bunch of water weight) and then lost weight again in week two. In week three, about 25 percent of players didn’t lose weight. And then in week four, they lost weight again.

  So what were those 25 percent doing? Mostly, they had gotten lazy with their portion control and with their food choices. (E.g.: They were eating in restaurants and paying no attention to how the meals were prepared.) Some of them were lacking integrity (claiming points they had “only sort of” earned). Some of them had gotten sick or injured and quit or “sort of” quit.

  Basically, they had all slipped in their attention to detail, and when they refocused, the weight started to drop off again. I know. I know you want to think this isn’t you. When our computers crash, we all want to blame the computer. But
just as 90 percent of the time “computer error” is actually human error, 90 percent of the time, when your game isn’t getting you the results you desire, the problem isn’t with the game—it’s with how you’re playing it.

  * * *

  Step Up Your Game!

  Keep a food diary. It’s simple. Just write down everything you eat. In one major study, it was found that keeping a food journal can double a dieter’s weight loss! It doesn’t have to be a formal journal—at each meal, you can send yourself an e-mail, a text message, or just jot it down on a Post-it Note. The point is just to write it all down, which keeps you ever more aware and fully accountable.

  * * *

  Overindulging—like, waaaaay overindulging

  On one particularly memorable occasion, my friend Adam proudly went out for a sixteen-course meal off—and then had the gall to wonder why he didn’t lose weight that week! Which is generally the other thing that was happening for the non–weight-losers—they were going hog wild on their day off and meal off. And by hog wild I mean they were undoing their dieting for the rest of the week. The day off and meal off are in place for two reasons: One, so your body doesn’t adjust to the calorie deficit and slow your metabolism accordingly. And two, so you don’t feel overly deprived. But all you’re supposed to be doing is bringing your calorie intake back up to non-dieting levels. You are not supposed to be bringing it up to bingeing levels. You are not supposed to be eating seven days worth of crap in one crazy day of non-stop eating. That’s not a day off. That’s a day of insanity. This game is about optimizing your health. Binge eating, even one day a week, does not optimize your health. And if that’s what you’re doing, you need to stop. (And if you can’t stop, you should see the section on eating disorders at the end of this chapter and consider seeking help.)