by Emily Bowie
“Rhett Steele is going to get away with stealing my song. No one cares, especially not him.” Camilla’s on a long-winded tangent about the sexy country singer. I personally think they just need to fuck it out, and then maybe they would be able to stand each other a little bit.
“I bet him and his whole family down in Three Rivers are laughing at my expense.” My ears perk up hearing Three Rivers.
“Where did you say?” That town is so small I honestly thought it was left off the map.
“Three Rivers, it’s some place in Texas.” She waves her hands like this isn’t important information.
My heart begins to race just hearing the town name of where I originally met Kiptyn.
“Just fuel up your jet and make it even,” I toss out there, while my mind begins to wonder.
I swear Noah has this sixth sense about these things. My phone buzzes to life with his name.
“Noah or Van?” She pauses like she needs a mental minute away from her life to focus on my equally derailing one. The difference between us is that I hide it all with smiles and jokes. I let everything bounce off me until I’m alone in the dark by myself.
“Noah.” I let it continue to buzz until he leaves me a message.
“Tell me why you two aren’t together?”
“He’s my best friend.”
Her brows lift as she tosses a throw pillow at me.
“Sorry, second-best friend,” I clarify. “It would make everything so much easier if I could love him, but I can’t. I’ve tried, but those feelings never come.”
“And why are you with Van?”
Lying down on her couch, I use the pillow she tossed at me as a headrest as I think about her question. “He’s cute, puts up with my bullshit, and doesn’t care that I don’t want to commit.”
“Girl, you need someone who pushes your buttons. It makes everything way more interesting.”
“You mean I need a Rhett Steele?” I bat my lashes at her while smiling innocently. She pins me with a look as I start to laugh. She looks horrified by the idea. She’s just too close to the situation to see the chemistry they have.
“You know what?” She nods like she’s made a decision. “We need to go to Three Rivers.” My mouth opens and then closes.
“I’m pretty sure my words were you need to go, not we need to go.” I sit up, my palms starting to sweat. I haven’t been to Three Rivers in years. I tried to stop thinking about that place once I learned Kiptyn was dead.
“Your idea, so you’re coming.”
*
Within an hour, Camilla has her jet ready for us. My heart has not stopped its unnatural rhythm, knowing I’m going back to the place that will forever have a piece of my heart. Seeing our rental car, I call driver, blaming it on Camilla’s directionally challenged navigation, as she takes shotgun beside me.
I can’t help myself; we drive by the old McGrath Mansion. Its windows are boarded up, and weeds and some small trees have started to take over the parking lot. It doesn’t look like anyone has stepped foot near it in years.
What looks like old frayed caution tape blows around while a small section is attached to one of the boards. A big yellowed poster hangs on the door.
“What are you doing?” Camilla asks as I pull in.
“Pulling up the address again. I think we’re lost,” I lie, taking in the old building that has seen better days. I’m not sure what I was thinking. I thought maybe if I came here, I would see it in business and get a glimpse of Kiptyn. His wanted posters are hung everywhere in this small town, like they are waiting for him to waltz back in, just like I half-expect him to come back into my life.
Ridiculous, when he’s dead. My mind knows this, but my heart can’t seem to compute it. This is my way of proving it to my heart. Kiptyn would have never let this place fall. He loved it too much.
I regret that the last time I saw him I was singing goodbye to him. I was so angry about everything. Now, I’ll never get the chance to be sorry or fight with him. We never got to have a proper goodbye.
All of our goodbyes barrel into me, making it hard to breathe. It’s our story. We never were good at goodbyes, we were never on the same page, and one of us was always struggling with letting go. It’s why we always find our way back to each other. It’s part of what made us keep coming back, yet there was no time to do that this time around.
“Girl, we’re not even on the right road. Move over. I’m driving,” Camilla demands.
Thank goodness. My body shakes as I walk around the car. I don’t think I could drive now. Plastering on my smile, I push it down, refusing to deal with it all when I need to help my best friend.
Camilla pulls out of the overgrown gravel parking lot just as I see a shadow before it’s gone. My heart pulls like it does every time Kiptyn is near. That’s how I knew he was watching my concert and what made me sing him that song.
Kiptyn would have come back for me if he was still alive, right? Did I ever actually hear confirmation that he was dead? Would Noah even tell me the truth if he found out later that Kip had survived?
My heart leaps with renewed hope after I managed to lock these feelings up for many years.
CHAPTER 40
8 months later
Walking into the club, Russ shakes his head at me before nodding toward my office. Ignoring him, I go past, having no interest in hearing his view on anything. Brushing shoulders, he grabs my arm, pulling me in. My gun is to his forehead before he even has a chance to close the door.
“Don’t make me regret anything.” I seethe.
He doesn’t cower as most would. In fact, he stands taller, rolling his eyes at me. He’s the only person in my life who gets to give me their unsolicited advice. To be honest, once you only have yes men around, that’s when you get a knife in the back.
“What in the hell are you thinking, having Kellie Dare’s after-party here?” he growls, frustrated with me. He’s the only person who has ever connected the dots between us.
“It is?” I fake my innocence.
“You fucking set it up. They canceled their original plans.”
I have to see her again. I’ve watched from afar for too long. Her showing up at McGrath was all the incentive I needed. “Better make sure she gets the VIP service. She’s going to bring in a ton of money with that entourage she has.”
Slowly, I bring down my gun.
“This is a mistake,” he reminds me.
“Behind every mistake is an investment.” Opening the door, I exit, taking a walk through my establishment.
This one is exclusive and smaller than my others. Its name is Falling Sins. We have a balcony that overlooks the dance floor. Bottle service with our VIP male and female servers. They pour drinks, dance, and are allowed to do anything that makes the customer happy and them money. You want drugs? They can get it for you. You want to feel like a million bucks? They will create that illusion. You want to fuck like a rock star? For enough money, you can do that too. Sins are falling everywhere in here, hence the name. It’s a far cry from my old McGrath Mansion. That part of my life burned with the old me.
Just after midnight, Kellie shows up with her people. She’s surrounded herself, and rarely gets a moment by herself.
She’s fucking beautiful. My cock twitches, wanting to be grasped by her pussy. It remembers the distinctive pull she has. Her short blonde hair looks windblown. Her eye makeup is dark, making her bright blue eyes jump out. They hold your attention in a way that’s hard to let go.
Her waist is tinier than when she lived in Three Rivers. Her hips sway, her fingers moving through her hair effortlessly. She is looking like she’s searching for a sin tonight. I’m mesmerized by her.
As he comes up beside her, I watch Van, the cop who “saved” her, grasp hold of her hips. Jealousy rages through me like an inferno being lit. He’s dirtier than Noah. I should have put a bullet through his head years ago.
I can still make that happen, maybe tonight. I watch her drink and d
ance, deciding if I should make my presence known or not. I have very little self-control when it comes to her.
“Escort Van out,” I say to security through my chip. “If he gives you any trouble, rough him up a bit.”
They don’t have to be told who Van is. They have all been prepped. I watch as Kellie turns to her friends, ignoring the leech behind her. Security comes up and takes him away before she has a chance to turn around and realize he didn’t leave on his own.
*
I can feel him. I can always feel him. My hips sway into Van, and I can feel Kiptyn’s anger. I can’t help but smile to myself. That’s what he gets for never coming back to me. For leaving me like I was nothing to him. I hope he rots in hell.
I haven’t seen Kiptyn McGrath in almost five years. At first, I waited for him like a lovesick puppy, hoping, praying he would come back to me unharmed. News got around that he escaped the same night I was “found.” Each night, I waited for him to come to me in the dark. I thought he was laying low until he could come get me. Days turned into weeks that turned into months, and it’s now been years.
Slowly, I began to realize he wasn’t coming back for me. I turned down his proposal, and he forgot about me.
Then I began to feel him, like I always could, igniting hope in me once again. Only for me to feel like cold water was being dumped on me each time. He never let his presence be known, like tonight.
I tried to make him come out by dating Van. Hoping if he saw me with someone else, he would come to me. It never happened. Van and I have been dating on and off for a few years now. If you can call it dating. He seems to be my plus-one when I need it. My heart has never been in it. My body seems to be only programmed to Kiptyn.
Out the corner of my eye, I see the security taking Van away. I pretended to not notice, knowing I’m getting to Kiptyn.
Strolling off the dance floor, I go back to my VIP table. I allow my hand to graze the naked chest of my server before winking at him. At the last minute, I change my mind. Leaning into him, I whisper, “You know how to give a girl a good time?”
I know I’m playing with fire, but I’m tired of him hiding. I wrote that song for Kiptyn, and I meant every word. I do plan on saying goodbye… if he can’t get his shit together. This is my last play. After this, I refuse to allow myself to place my life on hold, waiting for him.
“What type of a good time?” he asks, slipping his arm around my back.
“That tongue of yours work?” I smirk at him, letting my words slip in. I know what this club is about. If my plan works, it will never get that far.
“Better than most,” he says, his hand slipping onto my ass.
“Lead the way.”
He nods, walking away as I follow. He leads me out of my area as we go behind a curtain. Anything and everything goes back here. Maybe I’m naïve, but I suspect sex is the least-debaucherous thing that goes on back here.
He opens up a room. Mirrors line the wall and ceiling. I can see every angle of myself. My heart beats a little faster as worry begins to creep into me. What if Kip doesn’t come?
“You look a little nervous. Want some coke?”
I eye the bag he holds. I’ve managed to decline all hard drugs in the last few years, but I’m throwing caution to the wind tonight. This is my “fuck you, Kiptyn” night. And maybe it’s my goodbye to my old self. The one I keep holding on to.
I nod, and he sets it on a mirrored circular table, using a razor to cut the powder into two white lines. “Ladies first.”
Walking up to it, I kneel down, unsure. I’ve seen it done plenty of times, but it’s not the same when the drug is staring you in the face. Using one hand, I plug one of my nostrils before bending my head down with a straw ready. I wait for the door to be kicked down; it doesn’t come. I quickly inhale the line though my open nostril, feeling the power tingle my nose before it drips in the back of my throat. My fingers pinch my nose as I wiggle it, not liking that feeling in it.
He bends down, doing the line expertly. Walking up to me, he begins to undo my belt. My heart pounds in anticipation. The metal clangs as he skillfully opens my pants.
“I can’t do this,” I say before I even think about it.
He touches my chin. “It’s your party. You can do whatever the fuck you want.”
I release a breath, feeling better.
“Do you want me to leave?” he questions.
I nod, taking a seat on the round chair in the room. I feel completely sober, the cocaine taking away all my drunken feelings. Closing my eyes, my body begins to feel uplifted, my pains not as haunting as I expected they would be. I stay in the chair, still half-expecting Kiptyn to walk through the door. I’m left to my own voices in my head before I give up and leave the room.
I’m not in the mood to party anymore. I leave my entourage partying away on my tab as I escape, needing fresh air. The night is warm against my skin, reminding me of Texas.
“Kellie.” Van startles me, grabbing my arm. His fingers grasp onto my flesh, hurting me as he takes me in. “What the fuck are you on?” he asks immediately, looking into my eyes. His lips curve downward, his finger rubbing against my nose before showing me the white residue. His eyes darken in anger before licking the white residue off himself. Judgment is written all over his face, and I can’t stand it. I’ve spent the last seven years of my life working on gaining everyone’s approval. It’s exhausting.
“None of your concern, Van.” His fingers pinch into my arm harder.
“Everything is my concern,” he reminds me, shaking my body as he becomes more rattled. “You need to stop partying so much.”
I scoff. He’s like every other person in my life, always telling me what to do. Everyone can go fuck themselves.
“You’re hurting me. Let go,” I say very calmly when I feel anything but.
“You heard the lady. Let go.” Kiptyn’s voice feels like it hits me with the force of a tidal wave. I would know that deep rumble anywhere.
Van looks up, looking unimpressed. “You want me to arrest you, McGrath? I suggest you walk your ass back inside.”
In a second, Van is slammed against the wall. Kiptyn pummels his fist into his stomach before I hear a click and see a gun directed right at Van.
They stare at each other like they know one another. Hate drips off both of them, and I suddenly feel in the middle of it. My feet are rooted in place as I watch the man I love and feel like he’s a ghost.
“Tell your boss he’s on borrowed time. Lay a finger on Kellie again, and I’ll be burying you in the desert.”
Kip pushes him to the ground, his gun staying aimed at Van’s chest. Blood drips out of his nose, and it takes a few seconds for him to stand. I can see the rage building in Van as he wants to lash out at me, but only because of Kip, he doesn’t. Van could have Kiptyn arrested, with a swat team breaking this club up, but he doesn’t. For the first time in my life, I am shown how much power Kiptyn has and that Van was never the man I thought he was. Van doesn’t even hesitate, turning his back on me and leaves, shaking his head in disgust.
Kip’s eyes swing to mine, and my breath hitches. He has a predator gleam, and I have no doubt I will be his prey.
CHAPTER 41
Kiptyn is staring me down like he wants to kiss me. His eyes travel the whole way down my body and back up. His stance is solid and unmoving. There is no smile gracing his features, and if he didn’t have this look in his eyes, I’d say he wanted me dead just as much as Van.
I don’t know what to say to him. It’s been years since I’ve been so close to smelling his cologne. The boy from Three Rivers is now fully gone and is replaced by this hardened man who screams danger. He’s turned into the men he always tried to protect me from.
“What’s the plan, Kip? You got me here. Now what?” My shoulder leans into the wall, trying to look relaxed and composed.
“Because of you, a man died tonight.” His body pushes against mine, making it hard to think. I hate the way my body resp
onds to him.
“Stop talking in riddles. If you have something to say to me, say it like a man,” I taunt him.
“One, no one touches what’s mine. Two, no one gives drugs to what is mine.” His features are so sharp, like his tongue. I try to hold in my gasp, hearing he would kill over something like that.
“You’re a liar.” I pray he’s a liar. I don’t want that on my list of guilt.
“Do you want to see the evidence? I’m more than happy to show you the hundreds of pieces of him.” My stomach drops, realizing he’s not trying to make me feel bad. He’s being upfront and honest like he was the last day I saw him. Kip has no filter and sees no reason to use one.
For the first time tonight, I give myself time to look at him. He’s dressed in a three-piece suit that looks custom. My old Kip would hate this. I hate to admit it, but he’s turned into my father. Greed has ruined him.
I laugh at my comparison. The man who he hated enough to use me as bait, is the man he turned into. I’ve always been a pawn to him. Him never coming back to me proved it.
“What car in the lot is yours?” I ask, knowing this new version gave up his bike riding days.
“The question should be which ones are mine,” he gloats.
I can’t believe I stopped living for months because of this man. I moped around, waiting for him. I put my life on hold, praying he would come back to me. For the first time in my life, I agree with what Kip said all those years ago. I am that naïve little girl who doesn’t understand the world.
It’s the only way to explain my attraction to the man who only knows how to hate.
“Want to know a secret only you don’t know?” I want to hurt him as he has hurt me. My best friend, lover, my forever, ripped my heart up, and now I plan to fully tape it back together. I lean into him, placing my hand on his shoulder as I look up at him. He towers over me, covering my petite frame. “You are just like my father.”
