by Emily Bowie
His eyes narrow at me, and I can see the tic in his jaw.
“But you have always been right about one thing.” I pause for effect. My heart pounds strongly. “I have always been out of your league.”
Using all my strength, I push out from under him, swaying my hips more than I should as I leave him standing in the shadows, where he likes to stay.
As if the world wants me to say a big “fuck you” to Kip, Noah appears out of nowhere. I can feel Kip’s eyes bore into me like lasers. In slow motion, Noah’s car window rolls down, and I see his handsome face through it to the driver side.
“Kellie fucking Dare!” he calls out like he hasn’t seen me in years. We saw each other last week.
Walking up to his window, I bend down, my ass in the air for Kiptyn to watch. Noah’s eyes are brimmed red, and I wonder what he’s on.
“I did coke tonight,” I tell him.
He claps his hands and hollers like this is the best news in the world. It makes me scratch the back of my neck. I hate drugs, but look at what I caved to. This world makes hard drugs like cocaine seem as normal as smoking a cigarette. No wonder there is a Heaven Club 27 joke amongst us all. Everyone says in this lifestyle we can be forever young. Look at Kurt Cobain, Jimmy Hendrix, and Jim Morrison. They are all iconic; no one forgot who they were.
I push down the guilt that starts to creep up and plaster my best smile on.
“Come on. Get in,” Noah tells me. He’s rarely out this late anymore. And for the first time, I am happy to see the old him. I need the escape.
I can’t help myself. Looking past my shoulder, Kiptyn is still there, his gaze as intense as he is. Flipping him the bird, I hop in, not bothering with my seatbelt.
Keeping one hand on the wheel, Noah leans over and reaches into the back, attempting to get something. My body naturally leans closer to the steering wheel to help, but Noah shoos me back to my seat.
Getting comfortable, I slip my four-inch heels off that I’ve learned to walk in, so I look to be normal height as everyone else—or at least not as short compared to everyone I know.
A cold can is popped into my lap, making me jump, hitting my head on the roof. “What the hell?” I laugh, picking it up, welcoming the small spray of liquid as I open it.
“Looked like you needed to be cooled down.” Noah smirks. “Where’s Mr. Right Now?” he asks, referring to Van.
“Why must you call him that?” I question, not that it ever really bothered me.
Noah laughs, looking at me while leaning back to get himself a drink. His knee steers the wheel as he brings it up and opens the can. I’m amazed at how in control he is while he opens the can, cheersing me, and taking a sip before placing one hand back on the wheel.
“Because you only keep him around when you feel like it. You’ve kept him on a leash since he became famous for saving you. You tug him in when you feel you want someone, and then allow him to wonder when you’re tired of seeing him. I don’t get it, to be honest. I saw the picture of you kissing someone else, yet he’s still around.” Noah seems to be getting quite serious as he continues his little monologue. “And I’m still here as the best friend, when I know I can make you happier than him.”
“That kiss wasn’t like that. It was staged. My thumbs were between our lips. I thought that pic was goofing around and would never get out.”
“But that’s the thing. You shouldn’t feel like you want to do that when you’re with someone.”
My stomach flips at how serious this conversation has turned. Kiptyn’s face flashes across my eyes, and it makes me tear up. How could I hold a flame for a man who doesn’t want me? For a man who hasn’t treated me how Noah describes. Kidnapping someone isn’t healthy. Killing someone because of my slip-up isn’t either.
“I don’t want anything serious. Van gets that. I don’t want someone to feel led on by me, and Van is more than willing to play it my way.”
“Kellie, I’ve always looked out for you. One day, you may wake up to realize I’m no longer waiting for you.” He looks down at me with adoration in his eyes. I hate seeing it. Noah has always been my stoner friend. When I think of him, my own inner dialogue announces him like that. I love that I can get away from my stress when I’m with him, but I don’t love him. I found my soul mate when I was sixteen riding a motorcycle. I doomed myself for all others, and I have come to that realization and have accepted it. I wish other people would accept me for me and not push their standards of how they envision I should behave.
The silence stretches as Noah pushes his speed further. I’ve always loved being in here when he decides to race it and see how far he can get. The lights are smears of colors as they pass my window. It looks beautiful, and I wish I could have a painting like this.
“Or marry me.” His voice is low, and I think maybe I misheard. “Marry me, Kellie.” Slowly, my eyes go to his, seeing he’s completely serious.
“We can be the power couple. I won’t make you change; I promise. I’m a hell of a lot better than Van the fucking cop.” His hand slips into his front pocket, pulling out an emerald ring that looks like it would swallow my finger.
Tears instantly stream down my face as I remember the last time I was proposed too.
Noah gets this look on his face, thinking these are happy tears. I’m too tired to hurt another person tonight.
“How about I say yes for tonight” is the best I can do.
Noah deflates, realizing for the first time that I won’t ever see him as anything other than a friend. He nods, taking in my words. “Then for tonight.”
He leans over, placing the ring on my finger. I can’t help but think my mother would love this ring. I bet she helped him pick it out. I’m delaying the inevitable, but at least I don’t have to feel anymore tonight.
Looking ahead, I see the bright lights, the sound of a horn blaring, and tires screeching, creating the smell of rubber.
Noah and I lock eyes as I scream. I have never been this scared in my life. I think of everything I would change if I had to redo my life again. We’re never getting out of this car. Deep down, I know it.
CHAPTER 42
Fire burns in my veins. My jaw clenches so hard I’m shocked my molars don’t crumble under the pressure. I’ve only wanted one thing in my life—Kellie. Everything I have ever done was to get closer to her. To free us from the invisible chains that refuse to allow us to be together.
Her father has continued to fuck with me, making it harder and harder to show my face anywhere. Even in my hometown, most-wanted signs hang as a reminder that I lost, and he temporarily won.
Rich set me up. I was locked in a cop car thinking, This is it. I’ll never see her beautiful face again. Then, my man Kellen Steele gave me a chance. Freeing my cuffed hands to make the best of the situation. Rich somehow knew about the huge job I had. Endangering the only family I have—Sloan.
Russ comes outside and stands beside me. He’s silent, waiting for me to talk. “I want him dead.”
“Which one?” He turns to me, cocking his eyebrow.
“Van. Her father is paying him to stay close to her. He’s a dirty cop.”
Russ lets out a low half-chuckle. “Don’t you think ordering more than one hit in a night is a bit much? What are you gaining?”
“I will keep ordering hits until I get what I want. What I want is Kellie. Noah is lucky I’ve allowed him to breathe this long. If I could get close enough to Rich, I’d kill him with my own two hands.”
“Why not pay someone to do it?” Russ questions about her father.
“Because I want to look in his eyes as he realizes he’s about to die and see if there is any remorse.”
“That’s some fucked-up shit.”
I place my hands in my pocket, thinking of what to do next.
“Maybe it’s time to let the old feud go?”
I scoff. Russ never did like dealing with Rich, and he hated it even more once he realized Kellie was his daughter. He told me to leave her alon
e. To not complicate things. I tried, honest to God. But each time, I was drawn in more.
“How would Kellie feel about you killing her father?”
“He’s done nothing but use and hurt her. Even now, he’s using her money to keep himself afloat. Without that little bit of money, everything would cave in on him.”
“Then why not tell her the truth… about everything?”
I don’t bother responding. Walking inside, he matches my strides. “I want you to personally handle Van.”
I would never ask this of him if I didn’t want it to be done perfectly without errors. “I’ll owe you,” I concede.
He nods, walking away to do his job. There was a time I would consider his words. I’m in so deep now that I’m not even sure if I can get out of the rabbit hole I’ve been digging myself.
*
I awaken in the middle of a night with my bodyguard banging on my bedroom door. “Get up!” he shouts. I must have dozed off for less than an hour.
Getting up, I demand, “What’s wrong?”
“Russ is dead, and Kellie is missing.”
A hundred different thoughts bounce off each other, fighting for first place. “Who set him up? And how the fuck did you lose her?” My voice is eerily calm, even as I’m ready to paint the town red with someone’s blood. My bodyguard takes a step back, fear hitting his eyes before he tries to hide it.
He looks around, refusing to look me in my eyes. “You did, sir.”
I must have heard him wrong. “Excuse me? Come again?” I say it slowly, so the stupid fucker can make sure he’s relaying the correct answer.
“It looks as if someone is trying to make it look like you set this up.”
“Who went with him?”
“Fallen Saints’s President’s son Axel and a prospect as his initiation.”
“What of them?”
“The prospect is the only one who survived.”
“What is he saying?”
“They were ambushed, and it was because of you. I was told there looks to be proof.”
“They believe him?”
“The president needs someone to take the blame. You have a lot of assets for them to gain, sir.”
My fingers run through my hair, tugging at it as I go. The pain helps me try to think of what to do next. This is a giant mess, leaving me no time to mourn my best friend, confidant, or mentor.
“Get the plane ready. We’re leaving in five.” I slam my door shut, placing a gun and a knife at each ankle and a gun at each of my sides before putting on my go-to suit.
*
By noon, when the sun is high in the sky, I walk into McGrath Mansion. Cobwebs take over the corners, dust covering most of the surfaces. No one has been here in years. The front door has been nailed closed, the windows boarded up, so it’s impossible to see in. Light shines in through a small hole in the ceiling.
My steps echo as I walk around the bar I used to love. Each step is another pang that I’ve lost track of myself somehow. Going behind the bar, there are still liquor bottles half full. Picking up a bottle of rum, I open the lid that sticks from not being opened recently. I use my jacket to wipe off the lip that dust settled on before lifting it up for a swig.
It burns, reminding me that I hate rum. I never understood how Russ loved the shit. Instantly, I feel that begrudging hurricane stir inside me, the same feeling when I lost my mother. Tossing the bottle against the wall as hard as I can, I try to expel the feeling. The action does nothing to calm the storm within me.
Heading to the back, I see a blanket is draped across my last motorcycle. Lifting it up, dust flies into the air, making me sneeze a few times before a cleaner biker is left in its place. I run my hand across the handlebars, down its body, to the end of the seat.
I feel cold metal at the back of my skull just before the president and VP of the Fallen Saints walk out from the corner.
“Kiptyn, happy to see you back home again.” Pres’s words send a chill through me.
I still have a gun hooked inside my belt, resting against my back, but I wouldn’t be able to get it before they put a bullet in my head first.
“What can I do for you boys?”
Pres scratches his head before walking around, looking at the forgotten past that sits here waiting for someone to claim it back again.
“Are you that stupid or just reckless?” I’m asked, the guy at my back smacking me across the head with the gun before Pres continues. “My fucking only son is dead because of you!” He spits, his face reddening with each step closer to me he takes.
“I had no idea they would be ambushed. It wasn’t my fault.” The butt of the gun hits me hard in the back of the head, making me see lights in my vision. I refuse to make a sound of pain.
Deep lines carve their way into his forehead as he comes toe-to-toe with me. “You’re lucky I haven’t killed you yet. When I do, be sure to know it’s going to be long and painful for what you have taken from me.” His lips purse in a pause before he continues, “It’s only fair that I take something of yours.”
“Russ was killed the same as your son,” I remind him.
“But you didn’t love Russ. I loved my son. You know the code: an eye for an eye, then we will be even.”
He takes a step back and nods to Bear, his VP. In our world, I know this is only business; it’s nothing personal. I’m as good as dead. My family consists of rotted corpses. Bear holds up a picture. Immediately, I recognize it as Kellie in what looks like a hospital bed.
“All immortals fall eventually.” He laughs while Bear allows for the picture to fall from his hands, landing at my feet. I don’t make a move for it, not wanting to show my weakness. I’ve been around enough for them to remember the years she spent down here.
“Was that your failed attempt at killing her?” I ask, pretending like I don’t give a shit. My mind is swirling with all types of fucked-up ideas of what they’re doing. “I heard her daddy is worth big bucks. He might care more than me.” I allow a smile to cover my face, when all I feel is sick. Right now, this is nothing but head games.
Both men look amused as they look from me to each other.
“We paid him to turn a blind eye to the fact that his daughter will be missing for the foreseeable future.”
I can’t tell if they’re telling the truth. What I know about him, this is very plausible. “What do you need from me?”
“You do what we say, and each time, you will save a limb of hers from being removed.”
“I’ll humor you for a second. What’s the first thing I need to do?”
“I want this.” His hands open wide as he looks smugly at me.
My heart stops only momentarily as I scratch at my skin, stalling. For Kellie, I would give him everything I own. But I can’t jump at it or he’ll see how invested I am. I also know this will be the first of everything. If I say yes, I will be his bitch until he’s bored of playing. Then we’re both dead anyway.
CHAPTER 43
I wake up, groaning with a headache. Slowly, I open my eyes, taking in my surroundings. I’m in a hospital room. Sitting up, my head tightens at the movement. I start by wiggling my toes, moving my legs, rounding my shoulders as I inspect my body. I seem to be fine. Other than the pounding in my head.
“You’re up,” a nurse says, walking into my room.
“What happened?” I try to remember anything other than the bright lights, making the throbbing deepen in my skull.
“You and your fiancée skidded off the road. You hit your head on the window. The cocaine and alcohol in your system mixed in with the excitement of the accident put a strain on your heart. We had to revive you, and now we’re just watching to make sure everything seems fine.” She talks as she checks the machines in my room.
Bringing my hand up, I see the ring Noah placed there. I’m about to tell the nurse that I’m not actually engaged, when my parents rush into the room.
“Kellie, you scared us to death!” Both of them come barreling
in, giving me a hug. This is the most affection I remember them ever giving me, and it immediately makes me suspicious.
“Let the girl have some breathing room.” Noah walks in, and I’m grateful for him in this second. My parents stand up, allowing him space to walk to me. He grabs my hand and squeezes it.
“How did we not crash?” I ask, the details unclear. I swear the other vehicle was coming right at us. I wasn’t wearing a seat belt; I should have been thrown out the window. Noah wasn’t sober. I swear I thought he was on something.
His hand glides down my hair. “It was a miracle.”
Something isn’t adding up. The confusion hurts my head. I blink, but my eyelids feel heavy. No matter how much I fight it, my eyes grow heavier with each blink until I’m taken under by blackness.
My body feels weightless, and Kiptyn’s face keeps circling around me. I try to go to him, but each time, I have Noah calling me back. Every step toward Noah, I take five steps farther from Kip. I watch as Kip’s mouth moves, but I can’t make out his words.
“Kellie.” Noah’s voice slowly pulls me back. I have no idea how much time has gone by when I reopen my eyes. Noah is the only one sitting in my room, his hand in mine.
“Noah.” My voice is gruff and feels scratchy. “What happened?”
“Kiptyn tried to run us off the road. It was probably a miracle that I lost control; otherwise, he would have run into us, and you didn’t have on a seat belt. Both of our lives flashed before my eyes. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you because of me.”
He’s looking at me with so much adoration I have to look away. His fingers lightly trace the ring still on my finger.
“There’s more, Kellie.”
Leaning my head back in the pillow, I close my eyes.
