by Amare, Mercy
“Nice. I bet rich people love you,” Christian says. “Or hate you. Depending on if they hired you before their spouse.”
“Well, there is a reason I charge so much money. I am the best.”
“You’ll definitely be handling my divorce.”
Tristan laughs. “You aren’t even married yet. Besides, who says you will get divorced?”
“Hey, I’m just preparing,” Christian tells him. “Fifty percent of all marriages in American end in divorce. So that means my odds are fifty-fifty. I’m preparing for the worst.”
“Well, the statistics with your first marriage is actually forty percent. And the chance of divorce goes down tremendously when you have children,” I say, remembering a paper I did on the subject of divorce. “And of course your age is a factor in the calculations.”
“Yeah, but I’m not exactly a normal American,” Christian says. “I figure for people of my financial status that the odds are a little less.”
“Dude — all you have is a trust fund. And you don’t get that until you’re twenty five. You’re not rich. Our parents are.”
“But I will be rich,” Christian says. “And that trust fund is pretty large. You know that. I’d rather not share it with my future ex-wife.”
“If males get married before their twenty years old, the divorce rate is only like twelve percent,” I tell him. “So you should get married now. Otherwise, you should wait until your thirty.”
This makes Tristan laugh. “Christian get married before he’s twenty? He doesn’t even do his own laundry.”
“You don’t either,” he counters.
“I so do. I had Cresinda teach me how to when I was fifteen. And when I was a senior, I took over all my own laundry. I wanted to prepare for college,” Tristan tells him.
I keep my mouth shut during this conversation, because I definitely don’t do my own laundry. I let the maid that comes over once a week do my laundry. It’s not that I don’t know how… I just don’t like doing laundry. Why do it myself when somebody else will do it?
“Speaking of college, I got my early acceptance to NYU,” Christian says. “I haven’t told Mom and Dad yet. I’m saving it for next time I’m in trouble. I figure they won’t be mad anymore if I tell them I got accepted there.”
“I’m sure it won’t be long,” I say. “You seem like the kind of guy who gets in trouble a lot.”
“You will be a great future ex-sister-in-law,” Christian tells me.
“If I convince Charlotte to marry me one day, I definitely won’t be letting her go.”
“That’s probably a good thing, because her dad is the best divorce lawyer.”
My dad laughs at the two of them. “You definitely won’t be divorcing Charlotte if you marry her. If you did it would definitely be bad for you in more ways than one,” he tells Tristan. “As for you, Christian, I highly recommend that you grow up before getting married. Maybe after college. Or a few years after that.”
“What about you?” I ask him.
My parents have been divorced for twelve years, and neither of them have gotten remarried. I think it’s weird. Mom has dated a few guys, but it’s never been serious. Part of me thinks it would be better if she did find somebody… Then maybe she wouldn’t be obsessed with Chloe, Candi, and I.
“Maybe someday,” he answers. “But not now.”
The conversation of marriage ends at that. I can’t help but wonder if my dad won’t get married again because he’s still in love with my mom. I so wish she would return his feelings… for our family to be complete again. But I know that’s not going to happen. Sometimes, the only way to move is forward.
8pm
All of me
Tristan and I take a walk along the beach as the sun is setting. I miss the sunsets in California, but there is nowhere else I would rather be than right here, right now.
Tristan grabs my hand, and I feel as though I could melt into a puddle right then and there. I don’t even care if it makes me extremely girly. I like the way that he makes me feel, and I don’t ever want it to stop.
“I kind of like this,” he says, motioning towards our hands.
“Me too.”
We stop walking and sit down in the sand. He doesn’t let go of my hand.
“Do you ever wish that you could freeze time?” he asks. “Like on a perfect day, or a perfect night, and just live in eternal bliss.”
I consider his question. “Well, it’s a nice notion, but I think eternal bliss could get old. How can you appreciate the good if you never have any bad? Ups and downs are just a part of life.”
“I am a dreamer,” he says. “But you are very logical.”
“I dream too.”
“I know, but you dream logically. Like every dream is planned, and you know what will happen. You plan for good and bad.”
“What can I say? My dad’s a lawyer,” I say. “And I, like him, hate to lose. Especially when it comes to life.”
“Is that what you want to do?” he asks. “Become a lawyer?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. But I definitely wouldn’t want to be a divorce lawyer. Imagine how depressing that would be,” I say. “If I become a lawyer, I would want to do something good. And I would be honest. I’m pretty sure most lawyers aren’t very honest.”
“I think you would be a good lawyer.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” He pauses before saying, “So are you sad that Aaron left early?”
“Sort of. This trip was… really weird,” I tell him. “Aaron acted different than he normally does, and even when he was saying goodbye I felt like he was breaking up with me or something… Like he didn’t want to be my friend anymore. It’s weird, because I thought we would always be best friends. I guess in this case I wasn’t being very logical.”
“You’ll always be friends,” Tristan says. “Even if you’re apart for years, when you see each other it won’t seem like a day has passed. You have both been so close for so long. Those kind of feelings just don’t go away.”
“Aaron is right. We are growing up. I guess I shouldn’t have expected things to stay the same.” I look up at Tristan. “But sometimes, change is a good thing.”
“So you really have no romantic feelings for him?”
“None at all.”
“And the kiss?” he asks.
“The kiss was… nice,” I answer. “It was easy, and familiar. But it was also awkward, and there was no spark at all. I didn’t feel any romantic feelings towards him. He didn’t make me feel like my head was spinning. He didn’t make my body feel like it was on fire. And he didn’t take my breath away.”
Tristan puts his hand on the side of my face, and my heart speeds up from his touch. “And do I?”
I nod my head, because I’m scared I won’t be able to speak. To say that Tristan Becker has stolen my heart would be an understatement. He’s stolen me — ALL of me. “Is it normal to feel this way about somebody that I met just over a month ago?”
“I don’t know.” He pulls my hand over his heart. I can feel it beating fast and hard against his chest. “But I feel it too.”
Tristan leans closer to me, and puts his lips against mine. At first his kiss is soft and gentle, but with him it doesn’t take long to get heated. He climbs on top of me, but his hands stay on my hips. He doesn’t explore my body this time, but he doesn’t have to. I can feel him everywhere already. Every kiss is painfully and pleasurably slow. My stomach is in knots, and I’m wondering if it’s normal to feel like this. I have never felt like this. I never knew just kissing could feel so erotic.
I love the way Tristan tastes — like Dr. Pepper. I love the way Tristan’s hard body feels against mine. And I love that I can feel just how bad he wants me, but he doesn’t make a move. He isn’t trying to seduce me. He’s just romancing me, and I’m so turned on that I can hardly think straight. But there’s something else — something I’ve never felt before. I’m definitely not in love with him, but
I definitely think that I might be falling for him.
Tristan pulls away from me, and lies beside me on the sand. He doesn’t say a word. He just grabs my hand, and I watch the sky as it slowly turns from pink, to purple, to black. I definitely think life can’t get any better than it is in this exact moment.
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 2
8am
In a relationship.
Tonight we have to head back to the city. Tristan will go back to the Upper West Side, and I’ll be stuck on the Upper East Side. But we have today, and I am going to enjoy every second I have with him.
When we get to the docks, Tristan shows me both of his dad’s boats. One of them is a huge yacht. Tristan tells me it’s the boat his dad uses for entertaining clients and guests. The second yacht is much smaller, but still very large. It’s 45 foot long, and has a huge deck and swimming platform. I follow Tristan up the stairs, and he starts getting the boat ready to leave.
“Are you sure you can drive this?” I ask.
“Yes. I got my license when I was sixteen, and before that I always watched my dad. He has a pilot for his other boat, but he loves driving.” He smiles at me. “I could let you steer once we get out in the open.”
“No way! This boat would probably drain my college fund if I crashed it,” I say.
“You won’t crash, you’re with me. Besides, once we’re out there, there isn’t really anything to hit.”
“Maybe.” But probably not.
“This is the reason I want to live close to the ocean,” he tells me. “I love driving a boat. It’s so… relaxing.”
There really is nothing more relaxing than being on a boat, though I can imagine driving it would be pleasurable. “My dad likes to sail. I always love going out on the boat with him, but he doesn’t really do it that often anymore. He’s so busy with work…”
“My dad always tells me that you have to make time for pleasure. If you work all the time you will drive yourself mad,” he says.
“You dad is pretty cool.”
“So is yours.”
“I guess he is better than he used to be. I kind of wish I would have came to live with him sooner. I like the freedom I have with him,” I say. “I mean my mom let me do whatever I wanted, but I sometimes I felt smothered. I think it’s just because she pushed me so hard to be somebody that I’m just not.”
“Have you ever told her this? I know you’ve told her you don’t want to be like your older sisters, but have you really told her why?”
“No.”
As Tristan drives the yacht, I think about what he said. I really haven’t told her why. I am always just mean about it. Then I think about what Aaron said before he left… I really could try harder when it comes to my family. I bet if I put in an effort, so would they.
So that will be my goal — to repair my relationship with my sisters and mom… And maybe work on having a better relationship with my dad too.
Tristan drives the boat for a while before we stop. When we head to the deck, it’s then that I realize just how big the boat is.
“I feel like we should have invited more people,” I tell him. “This boat is huge.”
“But then we would have had to invite Christian, and I’m pretty sure my little brother has a crush on you.”
“Christian is so not my type.” I’m also not Christian’s type. He likes easy girls, and I am not easy.
He laughs. “I’m sort of glad you didn’t know me two years ago, because I was exactly like him.”
“He’s such a player. It’s hard to imagine you like that.” I’ve known a lot of players. Hell, my best friend is a player. Aaron’s always been a one-night-stand kind of guy, though I guess he is always up front about it. I’ve never been the girl to fall for the player. That was always Candi. I swear she got her heart broken every other week when she was in high school.
“I was a player too. I have always kind of been a jerk to girls,” he says. “I don’t know why it’s so different with you.”
“Should I be worried that you will eventually dump me, and be a jerk to me?”
“Definitely not. When I told you that I was going to marry you one day I meant it. You’re not just some girl to me. Your my girl.”
“How can you know that?” I ask.
“I don’t know. I just do,” he answers. “When I first saw you, I wanted you. But then you talked, and something about you… intrigued me. It’s like the whole world shifted, and you were what I wanted. I’ve never stayed with a girl until two in the morning just talking. And I’ve definitely never spent the whole day with one girl. But with you, I wanted to. The more time I spent with you, the more I realized just how special you were. And now… I can’t imagine my life without you. After a month I feel this way. How much stronger is it going to be in six months? Or in a year? All I know is that you’re it for me.”
His words are sweet, and I want to believe them. “How do I know you’re being honest with me? How do I know that you won’t eventually cheat on me?”
“You don’t. And there is no way to know for sure. But if you want to be with me, you have to trust me,” he says. “And you definitely can’t let your own insecurities get in the way of something so incredible.”
“So you really want this? You and me?”
“I really do,” he answers. “And now that I know that you’re not in love with your best friend, I can finally ask you to be my girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend?” I ask. “And what exactly does that entail?”
“Well it means that it’s just you and me. You can’t date any other guys, and I can’t date any other girls. It means that I can kiss you anytime I want, and that eventually we will take the next step. But not until we’ve been dating for at least a month. Sex complicates things, and I want you to be madly in love with me before I dazzle you with my mad sex-skills.”
“And what makes you think that after one month of dating I will fall deeply in love with you?” I ask.
“That’s easy. You’re already falling for me. You can deny all you want, but just remember, you’re a really bad liar,” Tristan says. “What do you say? Do you want to be my girlfriend?”
I do want to be his girlfriend. And he knows it. But I think it would be a lot more fun if I make him sweat it out. “I’ll consider your offer.”
He steps closer to me. So close that his chest is touching mine. “Fine. But until you say yes, we can’t kiss.”
“Why not?” I ask, leaning closer. My lips are inches from his, but he doesn’t move forward.
“It just wouldn’t be fair. I wouldn’t want my lips to influence your decision,” he says.
“Fine. I’ll be your girlfriend.”
Tristan smiles. “It’s a first for me.”
“What is?”
“To be in a relationship,” he answers. “I’ve never had a girlfriend. What happens now? Do we change our relationship status on Facebook, or what?”
I’m Tristan’s first girlfriend. I’m not sure if I should be thrilled about being his first, or if I should be worried. “If you send me a relationship request, I will accept it. As far as the rest of it goes, well, it’ll pretty much be the same as before… Except, of course, now we can kiss. And… other stuff…”
“Right. And now I can call you my girlfriend, and all the boys at your school will know you’re completely off limits.”
“Actually, they already knew it. Christian told them on my first day that I was your girl, and that if they touched me that you would come kick their ass.”
“Well, he’s right.”
“And you get to tell all the beautiful college girls that you’re very unavailable,” I tell him.
“They already know I am. I have no interest in anybody but you. And I haven’t since the moment I laid eyes on you.”
“I think you’re crazy. I also think that you will definitely get bored of me.”
“I am crazy,” Tristan says. “Crazy about you.”
I laugh. “Wow, that wa
s cheesy.”
“You made me this way, and don’t worry about me getting bored. I could spend all day just staring at you,” he says.
“Then I would get bored.” I fake a yawn.
Tristan puts his arm around my waist. “I think I could definitely entertain you.” He puts his lips on mine, and my heart accelerates. I decide then that I will never get tired of reacting this way to his touch, and I hope the feeling never goes away. I have a feeling Aaron is right… It is different with Tristan. It isn’t like it was with Landon. Landon may have broken my heart, but it was easily repaired. If Tristan broke it, the damage would be irreversible, and for a moment I wonder if it’s really worth the risk. This feeling, no matter how amazing it is, scares me. Every kiss and every touch is more intense than the last. And everyday I give him just a little bit more of my heart. It’s then that I realize that maybe I am falling for him. Which equally excites and frightens me. Love after a month? Is it really possible? Maybe it’s just lust, and I’m confusing the feelings. I wouldn’t be the first confused teenage girl.
Tristan backs away from me for a second, and I look him in the eyes. They look darker, and I can see the insanity in them. The way he looks at me, I wonder if he feels the same.
No.
That would just be crazy.
I just really like him. And only like. Definitely.
I think.
7pm
Legal.
After spending all day on the boat, Tristan and I head back to NYC. I’m sad that the weekend is over.
On the boat, we had a picnic lunch and we kissed… a lot. But nothing more. He is very much sticking to his no sex policy. Something about wanting to let the sexual tension “build up”, and how it will be that much better if we wait one month. So I agreed. One month. Mainly because he’s probably right. And one month really isn’t that long. I waited three with Landon, so why not wait one with Tristan?
On the way back, Tristan sends me a relationship request on Facebook. I accept, and immediately after I get a ton of texts from Layla.
