Char

by Amare, Mercy

  “Why did you do it?” I ask, because I want to know. What made my sister want to become the person she is today? What triggered it?

  “It’s the attention I get,” she answers. “When I first started, I told myself I wasn’t going to do any naked poses. I was, or am, too classy for stuff like that. But then I realized the more skin I showed, the more attention I got. And the more skin I showed, the easier it got to take a little more off. Before I knew it, I was posing naked, and I was sleeping around. I thrived on the attention. I wasn’t satisfied unless I was the center of attention.”

  “What gave you this eye-opening revolution?”

  “When I woke up in the hospital. I was hooked up to an IV, and the only person in my room was me. Mom wasn’t there. Chloe wasn’t there. You weren’t there. Just the camera crew, and a few of the cast from Shores of Malibu… and the only reason they were there was for the cameras. It was then that I realized how pathetic I really was,” she says. “I lived for work… and work was all I had left.”

  “Why wasn’t Mom there?”

  “She was busy, and since it wasn’t life-threatening she didn’t bother showing up.”

  Her words piss me off. How could Mom just not show up at the hospital when Candi needed her? And better yet why wasn’t she there? Candice has always been her favorite. Wherever Candi is, Mom is sure to follow. So what changed?

  And this just confirms that my mom hasn’t changed. Like at all. She’s still the same selfish bitch she’s always been. And if she thinks I’m going to fall for her little manipulative game, she’s got another thing coming.

  “Mom is such a bitch,” I tell her. “I wish you would have called me. I don’t care how mad I am at you, you’re my sister. I would have been on the first flight if I had known.”

  “I think I needed to be alone. It was very liberating,” she says. “But yeah, Mom is a bitch. Which is why I fired her.”

  Candice fired Mom. Which explains why she wasn’t at the hospital. She was mad and basically throwing a hissy fit. But still, how could she do that to her own daughter? “I’m glad you fired her, but why did you do it? I always thought you were mom’s favorite.”

  “Mom kept trying to pressure me to do more nude shots,” she says. “Which is why I have lost so much weight, honestly. There is always something on my body that I’m unhappy with. And being nude all day just makes me that much more self-conscience.”

  “But you’re beautiful…”

  “I’m beautiful because I spend five hours a day working out, and I eat less than twelve hundred calories a day. I’ve been slowly starving myself.”

  “No, you’ve always been beautiful,” I tell her. “Even before you started obsessing over your weight.”

  She smiles at me. “I think you’re mistaken. Chloe and you are the pretty ones. I don’t even look like you two. I’m five-eight, you two are both five-five. I have brown hair, you both have blonde. You both have a size seven foot, mine is a size nine… Everything about me is bigger.”

  Candice has always hated her brown hair. She’s been dying it since she was fourteen. I had almost forgot that brown is her natural color. “Everybody tells me that I look just like you,” I tell her. “And so what… you’re taller… Being tall is a good thing. If you weren’t tall, you couldn’t be a model.”

  “I’m actually thinking about quitting. I am considering going back to college. I’m looking at NYU. The tuition will be a killer, but I have a lot of money saved up from modeling. I can live comfortably for quite a few years on what I have saved.”

  I think about the college fund that Dad told me about. “Actually, I don’t think you will have to worry about paying for college.”

  “Why?”

  “Dad still has your college trust,” I tell her. “He’s been saving it just in case. And NYU would be perfect, because I’m considering going to Columbia next year. We will still be close and can see each other often.”

  Her face lights up. “You really want to be close to me after everything?”

  “Definitely,” I answer. “You’re my sister, and I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” She pulls me in for another hug, and I like it. We did waste a lot of time with stupid sister-rivalries. But not anymore. And I plan on making up for every second that I can.

  The real Candice is back.

  7pm

  Crash and burn.

  Since Candi is here, we decide to celebrate. Dad takes Candice, Tristan, Christian, and I out to dinner. Christian pretty much invites himself. He wants to meet my “hot older sister”. I can’t believe he even thinks she will give him the time of day, but I will enjoy watching him crash and burn… It’s the small things in life.

  At the table I set between Candice and Tristan. Christian tries to sit on the other side of Candice, but my dad beats him to it, so he’s stuck between my dad and Tristan. I want to laugh, but I contain myself.

  “I’m glad you could come, Candice,” Dad tells her. “I’ve missed having you around.”

  “I’m actually thinking about moving to New York City,” she says. “I’m looking at going to NYU. I don’t know if I can get in for the winter semester, but I’m going to try for fall next year.”

  Dad smiles a huge smile, and I can tell he’s thrilled by the idea. “Both of you. In college. In New York City. This is wonderful. And if you really want in for the winter, I can get you in.”

  “Really? How?” she asks.

  “I know the head of admissions. I can call him and pull a few strings.”

  Dad knows everybody in New York City. Probably because he handles basically every divorce case in the city. No wonder he stays so busy all the time.

  “That would be great,” Candice says. “I’ve already told the directors of Shores of Malibu that I won’t be coming back there next season, and I only have a few contracts to fulfill between now and then. I have quite a bit of money stored back, so it should get me through seven years of schooling.”

  “Seven years?” Dad asks.

  “Yeah. I want to be a lawyer,” she answers.

  Candice? A lawyer? I try to picture it, but it’s hard to imagine. But Dad sure looks like he likes the idea. In fact, he looks like he’s going to cry. I’m pretty sure he’s wanted all three of us to follow in his footsteps. I think Candi is the last one of us he expected to go to college.

  I’m happy for Candice. She knows exactly what she wants. And for that matter, so does Chloe. She’ll have her cute baby, live in Hollywood, and continue her rise to fame. But me, I have no clue what my future holds. I know I want to go to Columbia, but what do I want to study once I get there? I have considered being a lawyer, but is that really what I want in life? I don’t know.

  “You’ll figure it out,” Tristan whispers to me, as if he knows what I’m thinking.

  He’s right. I will eventually figure out what I’m supposed to do. Hopefully it’s before I’m enrolled at Columbia. “I know. I’m so happy for Candice.”

  “Me too,” he says. “And I am glad that you two made-up. Family shouldn’t stay mad at each other.”

  Christian speaks up. “So, Candi, since you’re going to be in New York, maybe we could hang out sometime.”

  Candice giggles, and then she sees that he’s not joking. “How old are you?”

  “I’ll be eighteen in February.” Christian looks nervous now, and it’s funny to see him like this. He’s never actually had to work to get a girl, so this is new for him… I wonder if this means he’s finally moved on from trying to get into Layla’s pants.

  “No offense, but I’m really not interested in dating right now,” she says. “Especially not somebody in high school.”

  Tristan laughs, and I can’t help it, I join in. Christian shoots us both a mean look and we immediately stop.

  “You know,” Christian says to Candi, “you’re not even two years older than me. And I’ll be at NYU next year too.”

  “I’ll tell you what… If we are both still single nex
t year when you get to NYU, I’ll let you take me on a date,” she says. “One date only.”

  “Deal,” he agrees.

  I have to admit, Christian gets what he wants. And if I know Christian, he will be single next year. He will definitely get that date if he has his way.

  “Your brother is crazy,” I tell Tristan.

  “That I know,” he says back.

  “So what are we doing for my birthday on Sunday?” I ask everybody.

  “That’s completely up to you,” my dad answers. “It’s your eighteenth birthday.”

  I think for a few seconds. I don’t know what I want to do exactly. In California, every birthday was the same. Aaron and I would ditch school, if there was school on that particular day, and we would always start out the day our favorite way — surfing. After surfing, we would go to our favorite cafe and have waffles for breakfast. Afterward we’d get high and chill for a few hours. His dads always threw me party. One of my favorite bands would play. We’d eat lots of food and dance all night. It was the best. “Maybe we could just chill at the penthouse. We can eat cake, and everybody can buy me awesome presents.”

  “Oh, that reminds me,” Candi says. “I want to take you shopping tomorrow. I looked through your closet earlier, and you’re in serious need of winter clothes.”

  I so knew that was coming. Candice will always be a girly girl. I know a lot about fashion, but everything I know I’ve learned from her. “Sounds fun,” I tell her. But really, I’m kind of sad. Aaron won’t be here for my birthday. I would call him and invite him, but he hasn’t talked to me since he left the Hamptons. Every time I call, he doesn’t answer. When I text, he doesn’t reply. And I feel like it’s my fault. I didn’t share the feelings that he had for me, and I was the one who pushed him away. I just hope I haven’t lost him forever. Maybe I will try to call him again, before my birthday. I would feel better if I did just talk to him.

  The rest of dinner, we talk more about college. Christian tells Candice all about NYU. He says he’ll be her personal tour guide. I ask Tristan why Christian is going to NYU, and he said it’s because that’s where their dad went. Tristan’s dad was proud of him for getting into Columbia, but he would have been just as happy with NYU… It seems weird to me. Their dad seems to be all about labels, and what looks good. Their house in a prime example of that. But when it comes to his kids, he wants whatever they want. It’s so strange.

  I get a call from my mom, but I don’t answer. Mostly because I’m mad at her, and partly because we are at dinner. I don’t even know what I will say to her after I found out what she did to Candice. It was low of her, but I will confront her. Probably after my birthday, because I don’t want her to ruin this weekend for me. This weekend is going to be awesome. I get to spend time with Candice, and of course Tristan is here. What more could I ask for?

  SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 21

  8am

  Sister Day.

  Who would wake me up at seven in the morning on a Saturday for shopping? Candice, that’s who. The only reason I like to get up before noon is for surfing only. But since she is here, I will make an exception… I just know it’s going to be a really long day.

  Before shopping, Candice wants to fix my hair and make up. She always wants to get dressed up to go shopping. Really, I’d rather just put on a comfy pair of jeans to go shopping in. But nope — Candi says I should wear a dress. So here I am at eight in the morning, wearing a super-cute dress, make up, and even my hair is fixed. Oh, and we have an appointment at nine to get our nails done.

  I text Tristan while we are waiting for our breakfast.

  Me: HELP. Candice is torturing me!

  Tristan: Since when do you considering a day of shopping torture?

  Me: Since I have to do it in four-inch heels.

  I take a picture of my four-inch heels and send it to him.

  Tristan: HOT. Maybe when you’re done I can come over and help you take your shoes off. And everything else. ;)

  Me: Only 11 more days.

  Tristan: Trust me, I know. I’ll talk to you soon. Have fun with your sister.

  I’m glad he’s just as excited as I am. I’m actually sort of happy he’s making me wait, not that I would ever admit it to him. He’s right. The wait makes it more suspenseful. It has given us time to get to know one another, and from what I see, I definitely like Tristan a lot. I might more than like him, but that’s a thought for another day. Right now, it’s all about Candice. I have a feeling she needs this day a lot more than I do. I will be supportive, and I will definitely enjoy today. And if my feet hurt too bad, I’ll just put on the pair of flip-flops I stuck in my purse this morning.

  “The producers of Shores of Malibu offered me a raise,” she tells me.

  “Really? How much?” I ask. Maybe it’s not my business, but

  “One hundred and fifty thousand an episode.”

  “One hundred and fifty thousand dollars an episode?” I repeat it back as a question, because I’m sure I misunderstood her.

  “Yep.”

  “How much were you making before?”

  “One hundred thousand.”

  Oh my God. No wonder my mom was mad about getting fired. I had no idea that Candi made so much money. I mean, I knew she made a lot. But I didn’t know a lot was one hundred thousand. Last I heard she was making about forty thousand an episode. “That’s crazy,” I tell her. “Are you going to take it?”

  “Well, if I put off going to NYU until next fall I could. But if I did that, who knows if I would actually go back to college,” she answers. “I told them I would think about it, but I am going to turn them down on Monday. Dad is going to get me into NYU, and I am going to start my life away from all the drama and fame. I just want to be normal.”

  “I so get it. I’ve always hated being in the spotlight,” I say. “Seriously, I don’t even know why the paparazzi follows me, or why I’m in magazines.”

  “Yeah, Mom told me about why you’re here. She said your were photographed smoking pot.” Candice shakes her head at me. “Do you still do smoke?”

  “No,” I say. “Dad told me Aaron was a bad influence on me, and I never believed him. But I guess smoking weed was something that I did with Aaron. Since being here, I haven’t really wanted to smoke. And I know it wasn’t Aaron’s fault that I smoked. I did it because I wanted to. But maybe Dad was right.”

  “I can’t believe the paparazzi actually photographed you at home. I wonder how they figured out where you live, and they haven’t been back since that day. It’s so weird.”

  “Yep. Weird.” But when I think about it, maybe it’s not that weird. “You don’t think Dad set it up, do you?”

  “I don’t know,” Candice says. “It seems really odd. But do you really want to know? Your life has been better here, right? Why ruin it?”

  “You’re right.” I don’t want to ruin it. And if I knew that my own father set me up, I would be furious. My life here has been a lot better, and Dad genuinely cares about me — unlike Mom. If he did it, he did it for my well being. I can’t be mad at him for that. “Life here has been very good.”

  “Tristan really likes you,” she says. “He’s a really sweet guy. How old is he?”

  “He’s nineteen,” I answer. “He is a little older than me, but I am so over high school guys.”

  “Nineteen is a good age for you. After my life settles down a little bit, I wouldn’t mind getting a boyfriend,” she says. “Maybe I’ll find a hot guy at NYU.”

  This makes me laugh. “Christian is more than willing to fill that role.”

  “I am so not dating a guy that is younger than my little sister… Hell, even you won’t date him. You’re dating his older brother.” She waves her hand. “No thanks.”

  “I’m sure there are lots of hot, eligible guys at NYU that would be more than willing to date you.”

  “Yeah, I know. I’m Candice York. Everybody wants me because they think I’m easy. And maybe I have been easy in the past, but
I’m not the same,” she says. “The next guy that I sleep with will hopefully be the last guy I sleep with. I’m sick of giving myself to any and every guy that will have me. It’s just going to be hard to find a guy who wants me for more than just one night after all that I’ve done.”

  Part of me wonders if she is right. I remember the reaction I got from Tristan’s parents. They both sort of freaked until they found out I wasn’t Candice York, and even then Tristan’s Mom was weary of me. But Candice is such a great girl. “If a guy can’t accept your past then he isn’t worthy of your future,” I tell her. Okay, okay — maybe it’s a little cheesy, but it’s true. Candice is awesome. If they can’t see past her flaws then they really aren’t worthy of her. I mean, everybody has a past.

  “It really doesn’t matter. I’ve decided I’m definitely not dating until I am fully ready. Which won’t be for a little while. Maybe this is cliche, but I really do need to work on me.”

  “It’s not cliche if it’s true,” I say. “And I am proud of you. Most people in your position wouldn’t be able to give up the money. I mean, come on. One hundred and fifty thousand dollars an episode! Even I would have problems turning that down. But you did. Or you are. And you are going to live your dream.”

  “I’m glad I’m finally doing it.”

  “Me too. I had no idea that you wanted to do anything besides model.”

  “I’ve never really told anybody before,” she says. “Mom has been pushing me to be a model since I was about fourteen years old. And I’m not like you. I couldn’t just stand up to her and tell her no. So I gave in.”

  “She wants me to be an actress. There is a role on Drama Queen she wants me to try out for. She just doesn’t know when to quit.” My phone starts vibrating on the table, and I look to see Mom calling. She’s called about five times since yesterday, but I keep ignoring her call. I hit ignore again. I’m so not letting her ruin my birthday.