Finding My Highlander

by Aleigha Siron

  The emotions welling inside her felt as foreign as going to Mars, or to a time as completely removed from her prior life as she could have ever imagined. Passion, fear, anxiety, inexplicable joy—how could one feel all that at the same time? Though she didn’t want him or the others to have a low opinion of her, she refused to consider this recent diversion a mistake. Would it affect her safety with them? Possibly. Of course, it doubtless didn’t matter, Kendrick being laird, could do as he pleased, and no one would take issue with him. Nothing could undo the deed and as she’d told him, she would not regret their loving. For now, she’d leave these worries for another day because it felt like her bones had turned to slush, and the sleep she so desperately needed might finally come.

  Chapter Eleven

  The following day passed in relative quiet. Andra and Kendrick exchanged a few discreet glances but did not converse other than a brief morning greeting before the men went on patrol. Andra stayed busy, tending the children who were still very withdrawn. Lorne improved steadily, despite being very weak. An easy banter was developing between them.

  “Lass, I believe you owe me that story now. Your mystery intrigues me, and I assume we should be calling you m’lady, ‘tis that not the truth of it?” He glanced at the rings on her fingers and the cross at her throat.

  “Andra will do,” she said, folding her hands into her lap.

  His lips quirked into a smile but there was no humor in his eyes. He searched her face for answers but she had none to give and turned to check on the children.

  He continued, “As Struan says, you seem to have a wealth of mysterious things in yon bag of yers, and you dress—well, unusual let us say. You speak with a strange tongue, like a Sassenach, but different. Struan tells me you’re a Cameron as well. Now that is a frightful combination, being a Sassenach and a Cameron.”

  His dark-blond eyebrows hitched to the middle of his forehead, belying his attempt at casual regard. “How do you reckon we trust you when they are our fiercest enemies, a pack of reiving cutthroats who join the Sassenach when it suits their thieving purposes? From your own telling and your unusual accent, you seem to be both. Now, I dinnae wish to appear ungrateful for the help you have rendered on my behalf, but you can understand why these questions need answers. Surely you can tell me more of your kin or travels?”

  She studied him carefully. Oh, how she ached to tell him the truth. Her head tilted slightly to the side, “I know you have many questions. As I’ve told your brother, much of what has happened is beyond my understanding. I do not know of any kin in Scotland. My father took us away when I was a baby, not even as old as Kyle is. My mother had already died. When my father lay on his deathbed, he requested I bring his ashes to Scotland. It is true that my family name is Cameron. Nevertheless, I do not know these Cameron of whom you speak. In fact, other than you and Kendrick’s men, I know no one in Scotland. It is as much a mystery to me as to you.”

  “You speak aboot your father’s ashes. You ken, what that suggests?”

  She maintained steady eye contact when she responded, hoping that would help “I understand, but sometimes while in strange places, one must comply with their customs for safety purposes. And I could not travel such long distances transporting my father’s dead body.” Even to her ears that sounded like a paltry excuse.

  Lorne grunted, shifted his position, and seemed to ponder her answer. “Hmm—you traveled to heathen lands, then?”

  “On occasion, my father traveled with other men interested in learning about botanical plants and their medicinal properties.” She hoped this answer would assuage his curiosity and not lead to further questions that might endanger her security. Didn’t her kindness toward him and the bairns reveal her in an unthreatening light? Hadn’t she displayed appropriate appreciation and deference? Well, except for last night. That proved to be appreciation of a completely different nature.

  She deftly redirected their conversation. “Let’s clean your wounds and change the bandages. If you are careful, you might want to get up and move about. It may prevent that leg from stiffening too severely.”

  “Ah, I see you’ll not answer my questions now. Do not think to avoid our inquiries indefinitely. I like you, Andra. I think we’ll become friends and eventually you’ll give up those secrets you hold so tightly. ‘Twould be best for all concerned if you did so sooner rather than later.”

  “Mmmm.” Andra continued to redress Lorne’s wounds. “I’d like nothing better than to answer all of your questions, but I can only provide answers to things I remember clearly. It does seem my memory became scrambled after I hit my head.”

  Lorne let the matter drop. The men returned later that night, accompanied by a man named John. The man stood several inches shorter and had a less pleasing countenance than her rescuers, but he equaled them in muscled strength. A bushy, unkempt beard and wildly windblown hair partially obscured his face. Yet he possessed the same Highlander focus—fierce and penetrating. He eyed her with avid curiosity as Kendrick introduced John as a member of the MacLean clan.

  Andra had cooked the rabbits in a stew using dried oats for thickening, which she served to the men in crude wooden trenchers. They all ate voraciously while the men discussed leaving on the morrow. Other than a nod in her direction when she placed the meal into their hands, they did not include her in their conversation, though they did not hide their discussion by asking her to leave or by quieting their voices.

  “I am willing to stay with you, Lorne, if you think you need more time before riding,” offered John. “Now that me and the men have recovered most of the cattle, the Camerons seem to have withdrawn to their filthy castle again, lousy bastard’s—er—beggin’ yer pardon m’lady.”

  Evidently, John knew of her Cameron last name. He didn’t seem to know what to make of Andra. None of the others offered any explanations about her presence, and she had no idea what they might have told him prior to his arrival.

  “No offense, they are nothing to me,” she said, “but you might want to consider your language when you speak around the little ones.”

  The astonished expressions on their faces made her want to laugh, but she refrained. Kendrick started to say something, then stopped when she turned away, leading the children to their pallets.

  There would be no repeat of last night’s events; she decided to keep her distance from Kendrick. What could she say to him? “Oh, please forgive me for ripping off your clothes last night. I am just a wild, lustful woman out of time and place who’s completely lost her mind!” Not likely. Besides, in the light of a new day he seemed neither interested nor disturbed by the event. And why should he? As a hot, hunky Highland laird, women probably threw themselves at him all the time. She got what she needed, he got what he needed, and that would be the end of it.

  Nevertheless, thoughts of his warm hands and mouth on her body made her nether regions wet with desire. Stop it this instant, Andra. She could not and would not become another sniveling conquest. Men of this era were likely to be as bad or worse as men from her time; she’d be just another notch on the proverbial belt.

  She only needed to survive long enough to return home; yet thoughts of home only filled her with a grinding emptiness. Who was waiting for her? No one of importance needed her. Dad’s partner at the pharmacy was more than capable of handling the business without her assistance. Her private line of hand creams and bath oils was not a burgeoning business that required her immediate attention. She turned her mind from these sad stressful thoughts. Instead, she sang to the children.

  * * *

  Listening to Andra sing brought the previous night’s tryst to Kendrick’s mind. He had bedded many women in his life, had even been married, but the intensity of their coupling profoundly disquieted him. His desire for her increased every time she glanced his direction. The scent and sight of her conspired to make him hard, distracted, and filled him with a need that went far beyond slacking his lust.

  A demanding ride scouting the coun
tryside earlier that day had done nothing to reduce his urge to return and claim her again. All he could think about was the feel of her under him, the softness of her skin, and the intensity of her lovemaking. Yet, the confounded mystery of her appearance, and continued reluctance to trust him with her story disturbed him more. He must unravel those mysteries before he allowed himself to taste her passion again.

  He stood abruptly, “We’ll pack up and leave before first light. We can stay tomorrow night at Red Jack’s Inn. John, you’ll scout ahead, secure rooms at the inn and reconnoiter for enemies in the area.”

  “Do you think that wise, Kendrick?” asked Struan, always the cautious one. “How do you intend to explain yon lass and bairns at the inn?”

  “I’ll think of something. Besides, even at a slow pace, it will be hard on Lorne, and I don’t want to leave him here. He’ll need a bed to rest in before we make the last push for home.”

  “Och, dinnae fash so over me,” Lorne grinned. “I have Lady Andra’s tablets. No doubt, the lady herself will watch over me. I’ll manage well enough. She has proven more than capable, wouldn’t you agree, Kendrick?”

  It appeared as though Andra had drifted off to sleep next to the bairns, but Kendrick suspected she listened carefully to their banter. He did not want his brother or anyone else to presume an attachment between him and the lass and pierced Lorne with a quelling stare. His brother only chuckled and rolled over.

  They had always enjoyed sparring with both weapons and words over the years. Now, however, Kendrick was not amused with his brother’s obvious prodding. No doubt Lorne had noticed his veiled glances and discomfited avoidance of Andra. Though no one had commented on the previous evening, his brother rarely missed anything when it came to the lasses. “You best rest while you can, wee brother. If you fall off your horse on the morrow, I might just let the beast drag you back home.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Long before light creased the sky the next morning, they packed and saddled the horses with quiet efficiency while Andra returned the cave’s supplies to their storage place. It was no easy task for Kendrick and the men to hoist Lorne onto his horse. His brother’s lips pressed tightly over his teeth and sweat covered his forehead and dripped down his neck.

  Andra approached Lorne once he sat on his horse. “Take these, and drink this entire cup of water.” Lorne hesitated for a moment but she pressed four tablets into his palm, “Don’t be stubborn. This is going to be a hard day, and they will help with the discomfort.”

  “Thank you, m’lady.”

  “What’s with the m’lady again? My name is Andra,” she reproved gently.

  Kendrick wanted her to ride with him, but then again, he didn’t relish the awkwardness of holding her for the long ride ahead. He asked Rabbie to hand Senga to him, but the girl grabbed Andra’s hand and turned away from Kendrick.

  “We each must ride with one of the men,” she explained to the girl. Senga looked to Rabbie and reached for his hand, but when he turned her toward Kendrick, she balked again. Andra lifted Senga’s chin, but the girl refused to meet her eyes. “Could you ride with Rabbie?” Senga’s shoulders slumped, but she nodded acceptance.

  Struan already held Kyle on his lap. John had departed hours ago, and sharing a horse with Lorne would only cause him more pain and difficulty. That meant Andra must ride with him. She turned that defiant chin his direction, her brows raised in question. What was she waiting for, an engraved invitation?

  “Do you object to me riding with you, Kendrick?” She looked him straight in the eye refusing to flinch under his stern gaze. Fire sparked beneath those deep green pools of liquid enticement.

  “Nae, lass, I’ve no objection.” His voice sounded gravely as though he hadn’t spoken for days. This would not do. In one swift movement, he gripped under her arm and swung her in front of him. He pinned her sideways to his chest as he had done following their first encounter a week ago. Had it really only been a week? It seemed like an eternity.

  She cast him a scowl over her shoulder, adjusted her seat, and swung her left leg over the horse’s head to sit astride in front of Kendrick. “This will be more comfortable for both of us, if you don’t mind?”

  Mind? Her skirt rode up scandalously exposing those tight, black fitted trews, and though her cape covered everything sufficiently enough, he found it damned disconcerting. He did mind, but wouldn’t tell her so. No matter how much he attempted to divert his thoughts from the heat of Andra’s thighs against his or her firm derriere pressed to his groin, ignoring her was a useless effort.

  He certainly would not explain the aching need he felt to touch her, to fold her into a comforting embrace, to possess her completely. Nor would he tell her that riding with her would distract him from his need to stay fully focused and alert as they rode through territory rife with possible enemies. On the other hand, he wanted her near him where he could smell her sweet lemon-mint scent. What could he say to distract him from his want of her?

  A multi-colored, silk scarf wound tightly around her neck. The colors were a swirl of blues and peaches. It resembled silks from the far east that he’d seen in the French court. The tips flipped over her shoulders and lashed against his cheeks.

  “Did you acquire this scarf on your travels?” What a stupid question. It sounded ridiculous. Since when did a laird concern himself with women’s fashion? Nevertheless, if he could get her talking mayhap she’d disclose information he needed to ken, and it might distract him from the bulge pulsing uncomfortably between them, clamoring for release.

  “It was a gift from my father when we visited Paris.”

  “So, you have been to Paris? Was your father known at court?”

  “No…no, my father went there to study with other men of science and medicine.”

  More subterfuge. He grunted and asked no further questions.

  Between scudding mounds of white clouds slashed with golden rays, the sky turned a brilliant, clear blue. Familiar scents of heather, pine, rich earth, and clean crisp air filled their lungs. Exquisite in its ruggedness and beauty, his homeland always imbued him with a deep peace. Yet today, the sights and sounds surrounding them were not sufficient to distract him from the woman in his arms.

  * * *

  After riding for several hours, Kendrick ordered them to stop for a brief respite in a clearing surrounded on three sides by forest. On one side of the clearing grew dense gorse, thickly clumped wild ferns, and tangled underbrush, on the other stood a tight clump of trees. Andra hurried the children to attend their needs then checked on Lorne.

  “You can take a few more of these tablets now,” she told him.

  “I thank you, m’lady—Andra. I do think the pain would be much worse without them. What are they exactly? Did your da make them?” Every time she used the medicines from her bag, she danced with danger of discovery.

  “No, they were not made by my father but he used them often when treating illness and fever.” Before he could engage her further, Kendrick ordered they remount.

  Phew! Another bullet dodged. It’s getting more and more difficult to maintain this pretense. Eventually she knew she’d slip, and then what would happen?

  They rode for several more hours and arrived at the inn shortly after dark. John awaited them by the stables. “They have two rooms above stairs. Some of us can stay in the loft above the horses,” he informed Kendrick.

  “What of the men inside?”

  “Locals, according to Red Jack. They’re already deep in their cups. You’ll find a rear stair behind the kitchen. Red Jack thought it’d be best to take them through there rather than subject the lady and bairns to the men’s rough behavior.”

  Kendrick dismounted in one swift movement. Andra slid off the opposite side before he could pull her into his arms.

  Addressing John, Kendrick said, “Rabbie and I will bed in the room with Lorne, allowing one of us to guard the other room through the night. You and Struan tend to the horses and stay in the loft after
you’ve eaten. Have Red Jack send food and ale to the rooms, and then replenish our supplies with what the kitchen can spare for tomorrow. We need to leave before first light. Alert me if you see or hear anything suspicious.”

  One small torch lit the wall outside one door; the door to the other room was across the hall. Inside, the rooms were small and directly above the storeroom and kitchen. Each contained one bed pushed against the wall and covered with a thin plaid. The wood plank floors were rough and without rushes or other covering. A small brazier sat in one corner with a few sticks and peat inside. A window covered with a rag was on the opposite wall. One rickety, wooden chair and a table, barely larger than a modest serving platter, stood to the side of the window where a single candle flickered beside a ewer of water and a chipped bowl.

  Rabbie helped Lorne into the room on the right. Andra took the children to the room on the left. “Home sweet home!” she said, dropping her bags, but her tone held little humor.

  A pervasive smell of mold, sweat, and old cooking lard assaulted her nose. The covering on the bed looked none too clean. Andra removed the thin cover and shook it out the window before replacing it.

  “Well, at least there don’t appear to be fleas or other crawly things hopping about.”

  “Mayhap not what you are used to, m’lady, but ‘tis the best we can do for tonight. I will have another pallet brought up with the food.” Kendrick leaned against the doorframe, his arms folded across his chest.

  “Oh,” Andra startled. She thought he’d entered the other room. “No matter, we’ll be quite fine for the night, won’t we children?” She waved her hand in a dismissive manner. Kyle sprawled across the bed and Senga sat beside him with her head down, silent as ever.