Goddess in the Middle

by Stephanie Julian

  “Oh, it was edible. It just tasted like shit. Crap.” Remy winced. “Sorry, Lady.”

  She laughed at Remy’s chagrined expression. They both acted as if they’d offended their grandmother with their language. Which kind of sucked. Especially since they’d both had sex with her.

  Sure, she was ancient, but she wasn’t old. And yes, she knew that didn’t make any sense at all, and she didn’t care. She didn’t want these men to think of her as anything other than a desirable woman who was falling unexpectedly for two damaged men.

  “Would it help if I said ‘fuck’ a few times?” She batted her eyes at Remy, gratified when his expression eased a little more. “Trust me, there’s nothing you can say that I haven’t heard before. And in all languages.”

  Which just reinforced the fact that she’d been around almost as long as the pyramids.

  Shit.

  “Lady, are you finished?”

  Rom stood with his plate in his hand, staring down at hers.

  Nodding, she handed it to him. “Yes, thank you. It really was delicious.”

  “I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He picked up her plate and headed to the tiny kitchen just off the dining room.

  Her gaze followed him until he disappeared from sight before she turned back to Remy, who was watching her with an inscrutable expression.

  “Will you tell me what happened now? Why were you chasing that demon? How did you know it was going to attack me?”

  Remy didn’t speak right away, but she didn’t sense he was going to lie to her. She sensed only hesitation.

  “The demon killed our families.”

  Her head swiveled back toward the kitchen where Rom stood, hands in his pockets, resignation on his face. As if she’d backed him into a corner and he had no choice but to answer her questions.

  Damn it. That wasn’t how she wanted them to tell her what had happened. But she kept her mouth shut and waited. Obviously the memories were painful ones.

  “Remy was fifteen. I was almost twenty. Our families had split from the lucani den about two decades ago.” Rom’s gaze slipped to Remy’s for a brief second and the cousins exchanged another one of those looks, as if they were communicating silently. For all she knew, they were. “We headed to West Virginia and got lost in the woods.”

  She wanted to ask why, but Rom’s expression told her she wouldn’t like the answer. So she kept her questions to herself.

  “They bought up some land, built a couple of houses, and didn’t bother anybody. And one night, that demon showed up and massacred everyone except us.”

  “I had two younger sisters.” Rom’s voice had deepened and she found him watching her intently. “Remy had a four-year-old brother.”

  Her heart hurt to hear the pain in those few words. She knew whatever that demon had done to those children, Rom’s swift killing didn’t come close to being punishment enough.

  “What did it want?”

  Remy’s hands clenched into fists on the table. “Rom and me.”

  “Why?”

  The men exchanged another look, as if debating how much to tell her. Neither of them made any move to tell her anything.

  She focused on Rom. “Why did that demon want you?”

  When Rom stayed silent, she turned to Remy.

  After a few seconds’ pause, Remy said, “We were born stregone.”

  Oh my. Her mouth opened, then closed without saying a word.

  Well, that would explain a hell of a lot, wouldn’t it? About why their parents had wanted to take them away from the Etruscan base of power.

  Two male witches born to a single family and so close in age. And lucani, to boot. The possibilities were endless. And frightening.

  It explained why she’d gained so much power from them. If she bedded them together…

  Oh my.

  Some of her thoughts must have shown on her face because Remy’s expression shut down into a stone-cold mask.

  Blinking, she tore her gaze away to look at Rom. Not surprisingly, he wore the same expression.

  “When did your parents realize?”

  “When Remy was four.” Rom’s gaze flashed to Remy for a brief second. “My mom had already figured out that I’d been born with a Goddess Gift, though she didn’t know for what. I had an affinity for fire but I also had one for metal. Considering I was lucani and shouldn’t have been able to do some of the things I was doing, it was enough to make my parents suspicious.”

  Lucani magic was tied to their shape-changing abilities given to them several millennia ago by the goddess of the moon. It wasn’t tied to the elements, which was where streghe got their power.

  A Goddess Gift, a special affinity to a specific element, was much rarer for a lucani.

  “Did your king know?”

  Remy and Rom exchanged a glance and Amity had her answer.

  “That was part of the reason our parents ran,” Remy said. “They feared the king would draft us into early service. The lucani were fighting a war back then and they weren’t getting much help.”

  She thought she heard censure in his voice and wouldn’t be surprised by it. Many of the Etruscans thought the deities had deserted them through the years.

  He was right. Some had. Others simply didn’t have enough power to be of much help.

  “My mom was teaching me a basic incendiary spell,” Rom said. “I was only supposed to light the candle. I nearly burned the house down around us with one of the simplest spells. Because Remy happened to be in the same house. Our parents packed up that night and left the den before anyone else realized what was going on.”

  She wanted to go to Rom and wrap herself around him, take away the pain she heard in his voice. “That must have been so hard on you.”

  The lucani were social creatures. If they didn’t live in the den located several miles away in Rockland Township, they lived in a city, even if that meant there were no woods to run in.

  But two stregone in one family. And born so close…

  Rom shook his head. “There were five kids. And our parents were close. We had each other.”

  Until the demon had stolen it. “Why?”

  Rom shook his head, and Remy continued the story. “Because the Mal hired it to kidnap us. Promised it could have us when they were done.”

  “The demon was willing to wait a few decades until the Mal were finished with us.” Rom’s voice was practically a growl. “Guess it figured we were so strong, we’d still have enough juice when it finally got its turn.”

  “Rom and I had gone to the movies. I’d begged him to take me to see some horror movie.” Remy shook his head, his mouth twisting in a scowl. “Hell, I don’t even remember which one now. I only know I picked it because I knew our parents wouldn’t let the kids come along.”

  The men’s grief was an almost-tangible pain in the air around them. Amity had to rein in the empathy that wanted to take it away. She knew they wouldn’t appreciate it.

  “I was going to college during the day so I wasn’t home a lot,” Rom continued. “It was the first time Remy and I had been apart for extended periods of time. We didn’t realize how that put us at risk. Neither did our parents. We didn’t have a guide book. Hell, we still don’t. Back then, we didn’t know that spending time apart actually made us more powerful. And easier to track.”

  “Though we didn’t know we were being tracked. At least, not right away. And we didn’t know by what. If we had…” Remy shook his head. “Our parents never let us forgot we were in danger from the Mal. We moved around for years, never staying in one place longer than a few months. By the time I turned eight, the Mal had made two attempts to take us. They nearly killed Rom’s dad the second time.”

  “After that, we learned to stick close to the big cities.” Rom’s hands clenched into fists at his sides. “It was just dumb luck that we met a strega in Atlanta who agreed to help us figure out how to control our powers, especially the ones that work together.”

  “What was her name?”


  “Tullia.”

  Amity had to work hard to school her expression because she was pretty sure she knew the strega Rom was talking about. “How did you meet her?”

  Remy and Rom exchanged another of those glances before Rom answered. “She approached our parents after she followed Remy and me home from one of our unscheduled outings. We thought our dads were going to kill us, but it turned out to be the best thing that could’ve happened. We never would’ve learned so much on our own. She worked with us for a month, never asked for anything in return. Of course, our parents thought she’d been sent by the Mal, but somehow she got them to trust her.”

  Yes, the Tullia she knew had a way with words. One she’d been developing for many, many years.

  “After Tullia showed us how to use our powers to shield ourselves, our parents finally decided the younger kids needed a place to call home.”

  “We were all so fucking sick of running.” Remy’s voice held a weariness she wasn’t sure he realized she could hear. “So our parents bought a few thousand acres of nearly uninhabitable forest in West Virginia, and we basically lived off the grid for five years.”

  “And then I got cocky.” The edge on Rom’s voice could cut through steel. She tried to suppress a shiver. “I forced my parents to let me go to college. I got our families killed because I wanted to take art history and read The Canterbury Tales.”

  “Rom—”

  “Don’t fucking say it’s not my fault again, Remy. We both know it is.”

  Remy’s mouth slammed shut but he shook his head, his eyes narrowing to slits.

  “Why do you think it’s your fault?”

  Rom’s expression tightened and his mouth became a thin slash. She thought he wouldn’t answer and the pain she felt coming off of him in waves made her stomach hurt. These men had such deep scars.

  She thought about another way to ask the question, how to get Rom to open up to her, when he finally answered.

  “The demon must’ve followed me home.”

  “You don’t know that.” Remy bit each word out. “We have no idea how the demon found us.”

  “It had to be me.” Rom turned to Amity, and she saw the grief and the anger so clearly on his face. “Tullia helped us set up wards around the house strong enough to deter any spell thrown at us. Yes, by that time, we were that good. But then I wanted to go to college. I pushed and pushed until finally they agreed. And somehow the demon found me.”

  Remy kept shaking his head. “It could just as easily have been me. I was sneaking out to run past the borders of the wards. They could have picked up on me just as easily as you.”

  “But I was the one who insisted on using my magic.” With a muted growl, Rom stomped toward the front of the house, but there wasn’t much room to run and he stopped only a few feet away.

  “The girl would’ve died if you hadn’t!”

  “Then I should’ve let her die! If I had, our families would still be alive.”

  Remy opened his mouth but Rom slashed his hand through the air. “No. I’m not doing this again.” With a conscious effort, Rom dialed down all the rage she felt emanating from him. It only took him seconds, as if he’d had a lot of practice.

  When he looked at her again, he showed no trace of any emotion. “Forgive me, Lady. I didn’t mean to yell.”

  “No apologies necessary,” she assured him, attempting a small smile to see if Rom would respond. She wanted to know more about what had happened, about the girl who had almost died and how she’d affected Rom but…

  His expression remained stoic. “When you feel strong enough, Remy will take you home. I’m—I’d like to go for a run, if you don’t mind?”

  A quick glance at Remy showed he wasn’t thrilled with that idea but she could tell Rom needed some space.

  She softened her smile and watched a bit of the stiffness ease from Rom’s expression. “Of course I don’t mind.”

  “Rom—”

  “Remy,” she turned, her smile widening, “I would appreciate it if you would assist me with something.”

  Rom took the opportunity she’d given him to head for the door. By the time Remy had taken a breath to respond, Rom was gone.

  Remy turned to her with frustration in the thin line of his mouth. She wasn’t sure Remy wouldn’t just ignore her and go running after Rom.

  “He shouldn’t be alone.” Remy spoke each word through clenched teeth.

  “Everyone needs a little time to come to terms with things in their own way.”

  She watched Remy closely, feeling the pull of the seething emotion beneath the surface. The man needed more help than a solo run could ever give him. He needed someone to ease his pain.

  She just wasn’t sure he would ever give it up.

  “I know what you think.” His voice had a hard edge that was so at odds with his almost placid expression. “You think he’ll go out, he’ll run for an hour, maybe two. He’ll come back and he’ll be good as new. But you don’t know him. He won’t be back for hours. He’ll run himself ragged and, if we’re lucky, he won’t decide to tangle with any wild animals while he’s out there. If he does, he’ll come back bloody and exhausted, and tomorrow he’ll act like nothing happened.”

  Amity’s fingers ached to reach out and take his hand. “He’s blowing off steam. Do you ever do that, Remy? Or do you keep it all inside?”

  He shook his head, a nervous tic if she’d ever seen one. “I don’t hold onto any of it. It’s not worth it.”

  “You’re telling me nothing affects you?”

  Holding her gaze, he stood then stepped closer. She wondered for a brief second if she should worry that he’d take his frustration out on her. But in the next, she knew he’d never consider it. The man who’d made love to her had shown his true colors. He may be trying to intimidate her right now but he would never hurt her.

  He wanted her to back off. And she couldn’t do that. Not when he hurt so badly.

  When she merely met his gaze and stood her ground, she saw frustration in his clenched jaw and narrowed eyes.

  When she lifted her hand to stroke her fingers along that jaw, she felt the tightness of his muscles. He would’ve stepped away immediately, but she reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together.

  He froze like a deer in headlights, and she knew he was replaying their time together in bed.

  A flash of heat shimmered through her. Heat so unexpected, she almost let herself get lost in it.

  And while she would enjoy another few hours of sex with Remy, it wouldn’t do him any good. He needed to talk, and it didn’t seem that he was getting that from Rom.

  Though the two cousins seemed to be closer than brothers, she wondered if they ever really talked. About their parents, their lost siblings.

  About what they were going to do when they’d finally killed the demon.

  “Remy, tell me about your brother.”

  He looked like he’d taken a sucker punch straight to his lungs. As if she’d reached into his chest to wrap her hands around his lungs and squeezed until he truly looked like he was going to pass out.

  She could tell his immediate response was to tell her to fuck off but he was too well-mannered to do it. He couldn’t bring himself to say those words to a goddess, much less one he’d had sex with the night before.

  His lips parted to deny her but no words came out. His focus had turned inward to his memories.

  “Rom and I already had our pelts. Danny was almost six years younger than me but he tried so hard to keep up.”

  His voice seemed to startle him, it sounded so loud in the quiet of the room. His gaze refocused on her, standing so still in front of him. Her fingers stroked along his jaw, as if she were gentling a wild animal.

  “Did he look like you?”

  “Mom… always said no.” He took a deep breath, and she swore she could hear the rapid beating of his heart. “Dad said we were more alike than she wanted to admit.”

  “Why?”

&n
bsp; “Because I was a pain in the ass, and Danny wanted to be just like me.”

  She felt something warm her inside at the expression on his face. His lips curved up in just the slightest hint of a smile. And it totally transformed him. Here was the man she’d met two nights ago at the bar, the man she’d fallen for. His blue eyes glowed as he focused inward on his memories. That mouth softened. Even the scars on his face appeared to lessen.

  She had the almost uncontrollable urge to lean forward and take a bite out of his bottom lip. Instead, she forced herself to stay in her chair and listen.

  “He followed us around constantly, like a shadow. Of course, I probably did the same to Rom when I was younger but Danny… Danny had the devil in his eyes. Mom always swore he had salbinelli blood in him.”

  The Etruscan satyrs were notorious for their impish ways.

  “She also always said it was a good thing he was so damn cute or she would have leashed him outside when he pulled one of his stunts. I knew she’d never do it. She loved him too much to ever put a leash on him. She died protecting him. That bastard demon killed them all, then locked them in the house and burned it down around them.”

  The smile was gone, but the rage that she sensed from both Remy and Rom had turned cold, so cold it felt like ice against that part of her that only wanted to help others.

  “The demon knew we would realize they were dying. Our parents tried to block us, but we heard their screams in our heads. We were sitting in a movie theater, watching a stupid movie about some fake monster killing off idiotic teenagers while a real, live demon was slaughtering our families in our own home.”

  His gaze sharpened, and she felt him stare down into hers with something close to a blow.

  “Rom’s wrong. It wasn’t his fault the demon found us.”

  “Then why does he think that?”

  “Because a few days before, he saved a girl from an accident he witnessed at college. It was so fucking stupid, really. She tripped, something people do every day, but she fell. Rom just happened to be walking beside her at the time and he saw her heading straight for a rock on the side of the path. She could’ve died if she’d hit her head on it. He used his magic to knock her aside.”