Nobodys Baby But Mine

by Susan Elizabelth Phillips

  “You don’t fight with me anymore.”

  “That’s not true, sweetheart. We’ve been fighting ever since you told me we had to go on this trip.”

  “We’ve been arguing, not fighting. You haven’t yelled once. You never yell anymore.”

  “I’m sorry, but I just can’t seem to work up a good mad at you.”

  “Why not? Even I can’t stand myself!”

  “Crazy, isn’t it. I can’t explain.”

  She glared at him. “You’re doing it again.”

  “What?”

  “That thing that irritates me.”

  “Smiling?”

  “Yes. That.”

  “Sorry.” His hand settled over her drum-tight abdomen. “I’m so happy, I can’t seem to stop.”

  “Try harder!”

  She suppressed her own smile. Who would ever have thought a warrior like Cal Bonner would put up with this much nonsense? But he didn’t seem to mind. Maybe he understood how wonderful it felt to be completely unreasonable and still see all that unqualified love shining back. How could she ever have doubted his feelings for her? When Cal Bonner made up his mind he was in love, he stuck to it.

  Cal had talked her out of her fear of having a brilliant child by making her understand that most of the misery in her childhood came, not from her intelligence, but from being raised by a distant, unfeeling parent. That was something their child would never have to worry about.

  He leaned forward and peered out the window. “Damn!”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Can’t you see? It’s starting to rain!” His voice grew agitated. “What if we’re up on that mountain and you decide to go into labor, but the road gets washed out so we can’t get back down? What are we going to do then?”

  “That only happens in books.”

  “I was crazy to let you talk me into this.”

  “We had to come. I told you. I want to have the baby here. And I dreamed Annie was on her deathbed.”

  “You called her as soon as you woke up this morning. You know she’s all right.”

  “She sounded tired.”

  “She probably stayed up all night planning a new hate crime against our father.”

  She smiled. He always did that now. He referred to his mother and father as if they belonged to her as well. Not only had he given her his love, he’d given her his parents, too.

  Emotions she couldn’t control bubbled up inside her. Her smiled faded, and she started to cry. “You’re the most wonderful husband in the world, and I don’t deserve you.”

  She thought she heard a long-suffering sigh, but it could have been the hiss of tires on wet pavement.

  “Would it make you feel better if I told you that I’m writing down every unreasonable thing you’ve done this past month, and I promise to take it out of your hide as soon as you’re back to normal?”

  She nodded.

  He laughed and kissed her again as the limousine began to climb Heartache Mountain. “I love you, Janie Bonner. I really do. The night you barged into my house with that pink bow tied around your neck was the luckiest night of my life.”

  “Mine, too,” she sniffed.

  All the lights were on at Annie’s, and Jim’s red Blazer was parked in front. She’d seen her in-laws two weeks earlier when they’d flown to Chicago to watch Cal play and behaved like newlyweds the whole time. That night, Cal had thrown a pillow over his head and announced that they were buying a new guest room bed. One that didn’t squeak!

  She was anxious to see Jim and Lynn, and she didn’t wait for the driver to open the door for her.

  “Hold on, Jane! It’s raining, and—”

  She was already waddling toward the porch. Even though Cal was limping on his bandaged leg, he caught her elbow before she reached the steps and steadied her. The door burst open, and Lynn flew out.

  “Cal, what were you thinking of? How could you have let her do this?”

  Jane burst into tears. “I want to have my baby here!”

  Lynn exchanged a look with Cal over the top of her head.

  “The smarter they are,” he murmured, “the harder those hormones hit ’em.”

  Jim appeared behind Lynn and hugged Jane as he drew her inside. Another spasm hit her. She groaned and sagged against him.

  He caught her shoulders and pushed back far enough so he could look down at her. “Are you having contractions?”

  “Some back pain, that’s all. A few Braxton-Hicks.”

  Annie cackled from her rocker by the TV. Jane lumbered over, intending to give her a hug, but found she couldn’t lean down that far. Annie squeezed her hand instead. “ ’Bout time you come back to see me.”

  “How often are you having these back pains?” Jim asked from behind her.

  “Every couple of minutes, I guess.” She gasped and pressed her hand to her back. “Bugger!”

  Cal limped across the carpet. “Are you trying to tell me she’s in labor now?”

  “I wouldn’t be surprised.” Jim steered her away from Annie and sat her on the couch, where he put his hand on her abdomen and glanced at his watch.

  Cal looked wild-eyed. “The county hospital’s a good ten miles from here! Ten miles on these roads’ll take us at least twenty minutes! Why didn’t you say something, honey? Why didn’t you tell me you were having contractions?”

  “Because you’d rush me off to the hospital, and they’d send me home. Most of this back pain is from that airline seat, anyway. Owww!”

  Jim checked his watch. Cal’s expression was frantic. “Dad, we’ve got to get her off the mountain before the road washes out in the rain!”

  “It’s barely sprinkling, Cal,” his mother pointed out, “and that road hasn’t washed out in ten years. Besides, first babies take their time.”

  He paid no attention, darting to the door instead. “The limo’s already left! We’ll put her in the Blazer. You drive, Dad. I’ll get in the backseat with her.”

  “No! I want to have our baby here!” Jane wailed.

  Cal shot her a horrified glance. “Here!”

  She sniffed and nodded.

  “Wait just a minute.” His voice grew dangerously low, giving her a small thrill of pleasure that penetrated her misery. “When you kept saying you wanted to have our baby here, I thought you meant this area in general and, more specifically, the county hospital!”

  “No! I meant here! Annie’s house.” She hadn’t meant any such thing until just this moment, but now she knew she couldn’t find a more perfect birthing nest.

  Cal’s eyes reflected a weird combination of frenzy and fear as he twisted toward his father. “My God! She’s on her way to becoming the most famous physicist in the country, and she’s dumb as a post! You are not having your baby in this house! You’re having it at the county hospital!”

  “Okay.” She smiled at him through her tears. “You’re yelling at me.”

  He groaned.

  Jim patted her hand. “Just to be safe, why don’t you let me check you first, honey? Is that all right? Do you mind going into the bedroom so I can see how far along you are?”

  “Can Cal come, too?”

  “Of course.”

  “And Lynn? I want Lynn there.”

  “Lynn, too.”

  “And Annie.”

  Jim sighed. “Let’s go, everybody.”

  Cal put his arm around her and led her toward Lynn’s old room. Just as they passed through the door, a spasm hit her that was so strong she gasped and grabbed the doorframe. This one lasted forever, and only after it was over did she notice what else had happened.

  “Cal?”

  “What, sweetheart?”

  “Look down. Are my feet wet?”

  “Your feet? Are your—” He made a queer, strangled sound. “Your water broke. Dad! Jane’s water broke!”

  Jim had gone into the bathroom to wash, but Cal had yelled so loudly he had no difficulty hearing him. “All right, Cal. I’ll be there in a minute. I’m sure
there’ll be plenty of time to get her to the hospital.”

  “If you’re so damn sure, why do you have to check her first?”

  “Just to be safe. The contractions are fairly close.”

  Cal’s muscles went rigid. He steered her toward the double bed, while Lynn fetched a stack of towels, and Annie pulled back the wedding ring quilt. Jane refused to sit until Lynn had the bed protected, so Cal reached under her dress and pulled down the sodden brown maternity tights he’d helped her into that morning. By the time he had them off, along with her shoes and panties, Lynn had spread a piece of plastic sheeting and some towels over the bed. Cal eased her down on it.

  Annie chose a whitewashed wooden chair at the side of the room and settled in to watch the proceedings. As Jim came back into the room, Jane finally absorbed the fact that he intended to give her a pelvic and began to feel embarrassed. He might be a doctor, but he was also her father-in-law.

  Before she could think too much, another contraction hit, this one with double the intensity of the last. A scream slipped past her lips, and through the wrenching pain, it occurred to her that something didn’t seem right. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.

  Jim delivered a few softly uttered instructions to his son. Cal held her knees open during the examination. Lynn clasped her hand and hummed “Maggie May.”

  “Damn, I’ve got a foot,” Jim said. “It’s a breech.”

  She gave a hiss of alarm, and then another pain hit.

  “Cal, get under her,” Jim ordered. “Hold her in your lap and keep her legs open; you’re going to get wet. Jane, don’t push! Lynn, run out to the car and get my bag.”

  Pain and fear encompassed her. She didn’t understand. What did Jim mean, he had a foot? What did her foot have to do with it? She gazed frantically at Jim as Cal leaped into the bed. “What’s happening? I can’t be having the baby now. It’s too fast. Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”

  “The baby’s breech,” he replied.

  She uttered a deep groan, then cried out in pain. Breech births were high-risk, and the babies were delivered by C-section in well-equipped operating rooms, not in mountain cabins. Why hadn’t she insisted they drive right to the hospital. She had endangered their precious baby by coming here first.

  “The head was down when she went to the doctor on Wednesday,” Cal said. Ignoring his injured leg, he slid behind her.

  “Sometimes they turn,” Jim answered. “It’s rare, but it happens.”

  Cal lifted her onto his lap. With her back pressed to his chest, and his legs straddling her, he clasped her knees to keep them separated.

  Her baby was in trouble, and all thoughts of modesty fled. Sitting in his lap with his powerful warrior’s body encircling her, she knew he would fight the world to keep their baby safe.

  Jim gave Jane’s knee a gentle squeeze. “This is going to go very fast, honey. Not anything like you expected. Right now I’m going to get the other foot down, and you can’t push. Cal, we have to be careful of the cord in this position. Keep her from pushing.”

  “Breathe, sweetheart. Breathe! That’s it. Just like we practiced. You’re doing great.”

  Pain consumed her. She felt as if she were being devoured by an animal, but Cal made her breathe with him, all the time murmuring words of love and encouragement. Funny words. Tender words.

  The urge to push grew stronger, impossible to resist, and horrible sounds came from her throat. She had to push!

  But Cal, the leader of men, refused to let her give in. He threatened and cajoled, and she did as he said because he gave her no other choice. She panted as he ordered, then blew out great puffs of air that ended in a scream as she fought the natural instincts of her body.

  “That’s it!” Jim exclaimed. “That’s it, honey! You’re doing great.”

  She could no longer distinguish one pain from another. It wasn’t at all like the childbirth films they’d seen, where the couple played cards and walked in the hallways, and where there was resting time between contractions.

  Minutes ticked by and her world was reduced to a thick fog of pain and Cal’s voice. She followed him blindly.

  “Breathe! That’s it! That’s it, sweetheart! You’re doing great.” It was as if she could feel his strength passing into her body, and she drew on it.

  His voice grew hoarse. “Keep breathing, honey. And open your eyes so you can see what’s happening.”

  She looked down and saw Jim guiding the baby feetfirst from the birth canal. She and Cal cried out together as the head appeared. Ecstasy flooded through her, a sense of absolute bliss, at the sight of their child in his grandfather’s strong, capable hands. Jim quickly suctioned the mouth and nose with an ear syringe Lynn handed him, then gently laid the infant on Jane’s belly.

  “A girl!”

  The baby made a mewing sound. They reached down to touch the wet, squirming, bloody infant. Jim cut the cord.

  “Cal!”

  “She’s ours, sweetheart.”

  “Oh, Cal…”

  “God… She’s beautiful. You’re beautiful. I love you.”

  “I love you! Oh, I love you!”

  They murmured nonsense, kissed each other, and cried. Tears streamed down Lynn’s face, too, as she picked up the baby and wrapped her in a towel. Jane was so intent on the baby and her husband that she barely noticed either the fact that Jim had delivered the placenta or the broad grin on his face.

  Lynn laughed and murmured nonsense of her own as she used a soft, damp washcloth to do a quick cleanup where Annie could see.

  Annie Glide regarded her great-granddaughter with satisfaction. “This one’s going to be a crackerjack. A real crackerjack. Just you wait and see. Glide blood runs true.”

  Lynn gave a watery laugh, then brought the baby back to Jane, but Cal’s capable, quarterback’s hands scooped her up first. “Come here, sweetheart. Let’s get a good look at you.”

  He held the baby in front of Jane so they could drink in the sight of her tiny, wizened face together, then he dropped his lips to the miniature forehead. “Welcome to the world, sweetheart. We’re so glad you’re here.”

  Bemused and utterly at peace, Jane watched father and daughter get acquainted. She found herself remembering that moment so long ago when she’d cried out to Cal, This is my baby! Nobody’s baby but mine! As she gazed around the room at two grandparents who looked as if they’d been handed the stars, a cantankerous great-grandmother, and a father who was falling head over heels in love even as Jane watched, she realized how wrong she had been.

  Right then, she knew she’d found it. The ultimate Theory of Everything.

  Cal’s head shot up. “I just figured it out!” His hoot of laughter startled his newborn daughter’s eyes open, but she didn’t cry because she already had his number. Big, loud, softhearted. A pushover.

  “Jane! Mom! Dad! I know what I’m going to do with my life!”

  Jane stared at him. “What? Tell me?”

  “I can’t believe it!” he exclaimed. “After all this worry, it’s been staring me in the face the whole time.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you was worried, Calvin?” a querulous voice piped up from the corner. “I could of told you what you needed to know years ago.”

  They turned to stare at her.

  She scowled at them. “Anybody with half a brain could have figured out Calvin was destined to be a mountain doctor, just like his daddy and granddaddy afore him. Bonner blood runs true.”

  “A doctor?” Jane twisted her head and gazed at him in astonishment. “Is she right? You’re going to be a doctor?”

  Cal glared at his grandmother. “Don’t you think you could have said something a long time ago?!”

  She sniffed. “Nobody asked me.”

  Jane laughed. “You’re going to be a doctor? That’s perfect!”

  “By the time I’m done, I’m going to be an old doctor. You think you can handle having your husband go back to school?”

  “I can’t t
hink of anything I’d enjoy more.”

  At that moment Rosie Darlington Bonner decided she’d been ignored long enough. This was her big moment, darn it, and she wanted some attention! After all, she had lots to do. There were pesky little brothers to welcome into the world, friends to make, trees to climb, parents to appease, and, most of all, great novels to write.

  There were also lots of math tests to flunk along the way, not to mention an unfortunate experience in chem lab with a cretin of a science teacher who didn’t appreciate good literature. But maybe it was better the two people looking down at her with those goofy expressions on their faces didn’t know about the chem lab yet…

  Rosie Darlington Bonner opened her mouth and howled. Here I am, world! Ready or not!

  Author’s Note

  I< t’s said we’re attracted to what we fear the most, and I’m beginning to believe that’s true, since this is my second book that involves science and technology, an area in which I am—let’s be honest—a complete doofus.

  A number of books were extremely helpful in my research, even though I only understood a fraction of them, and I’d like to acknowledge the following: Paul Davies, God and the New Physics; James Gleick, Chaos: Making a New Science; Leon Lederman (with Dick Teresi), The God Particle. Also Mudhusree Mukerjee’s article, “Explaining Everything,” in Scientific American, January 1996, proved to be extremely useful.

  Thanks to my husband, Bill, for being my viewing companion as I watched superstar Professor Richard Wolfson’s sixteen-part videotaped lecture series on “Einstein’s Relativity and the Quantum Revolution,” produced by The Teaching Company. Professor Wolfson and Bill—God bless them both!—had a wonderful time.

  A big thank you to everyone at Avon Books for their support, especially my editor, Carrie Feron, and her wonderfully competent assistant, Ann McKay Thoroman. Continued appreciation to my agent, Steven Axelrod.

  A number of people were especially helpful in the preparation of this book. I’d like to acknowledge Dr. Robert Miller, Pat Hagan, Lisa Libman, my buddy Diane, and all the Phillips family cereal eaters. Speaking of cereal… Thanks Bryan, Jason, and Ty, even though you should have been studying instead. Go Boilers!