Patrick's Promise (Cloverleaf #3)

by Gloria Herrmann

  “Her heart was in the right place, and besides, she isn’t the only one that’s guilty of being involved,” Michael replied. Patrick internally rolled his eyes at his attorney brother-in-law; he always had to act like he was in a courtroom. Michael continued, “Rachel had her part, and honestly so did your mother. So cut Maggie some slack, okay?” His tone turned authoritative as he stared at Patrick.

  He was about to respond when he heard the distant sound of Rachel calling out to them.

  “Must be time to eat,” said Liam as he removed himself a little too quickly from his chair. Daniel hopped up eagerly and followed Liam toward the cabin. He, by far, had the best appetite of all the O’Brien men. Patrick knew that neither of his brothers liked confrontation; they were laid back and easy going, and they always had been.

  Patrick and Michael remained seated, an awkward silence hovering between them as both waited for the other to make the first move.

  “Look, I’m in sort of an impossible position here. She’s my wife, but she’s your sister. Can’t you guys just make up and move on?” Michael asked as he turned again to face Patrick.

  “You know what I hate?” Patrick paused for a brief moment, as Michael looked curiously back at him. “I hate knowing that I’m in the right, and everyone wants to me to be the one to apologize and pretend that it didn’t matter what Maggie did. That I should look the other way when people get in my business and do something behind my back.”

  “No one is asking you to do that. We are just asking for you guys to get over this thing and to act normal again.” Michael frowned slightly.

  Patrick shook his head as he heard footsteps approaching behind them. Turning around and sheltering his eyes from the blinding rays of the sun, he saw Maggie and Rachel moving in cautiously.

  “Hey, guys, the food is ready. We were headed down to get the kids,” Rachel announced with a wide smile. Maggie stood next to her, noticeably quiet. Patrick could feel Maggie’s eyes on him, until she leaned down to her husband and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

  Avoiding any kind of eye contact, Patrick got up from his seat without a word and started toward the shore. He couldn’t explain why he felt so utterly uncomfortable around Maggie. It wasn’t as though this was the first time the two of them had ever fought, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Maybe the invasion of privacy and the fact that everyone was siding with her was what had him feeling all angry and irritated. Did they not realize that of course he wanted things to go back to normal, and that he didn’t want to feel like he had to distance himself from his only sister? Working with her had only complicated matters more, because when he avoided her there, she would run off and tell their mother or anyone else who would listen, making him appear to be the bad guy.

  Why couldn’t she have just left well enough alone? But deep down Patrick knew that all was not well; he was coping, but things were not good. Why did life have to go and mess up all of his plans, especially his and Beth’s? Thoughts tumbled inside Patrick’s mind as he neared the edge of the water. His two precious boys were covered in mud, which was thickly caked on their skin and in their hair, making them look like feral, wild creatures. They had wide smiles, and their eyes emitted a happy glow as they noticed him approach.

  “Daddy, wanna build a sand castle?” Connor asked sweetly as he reached for Patrick’s hand.

  Finn was crouched down, his chubby hands working the soft mixture of soil and mud, his fluorescent green life jacket bobbing with each movement. “Yeah, Daddy, you should play with us.”

  How could he deny his boys? Before Patrick realized it, he was down in the dirt, his shorts wet from the slapping waves that pelted against the shore. The sun was warm on his back. He was half tempted to rid himself of the polo shirt he was wearing, and the water tempted him to go in further. It was barely June, and he knew that the water only looked inviting. If he dared to actually venture out for a swim, he would get to feel how icy and chilly the calm waters actually were.

  His niece waded over to him as she carried a pastel pink bucket. “Uncle Patrick, I got some dry dirt to help make the castles.” She dumped the contents of the bucket, which half landed on the mound of squishy muck the boys were playing in, and the other half fell on his bare legs.

  “Well, that’s a good idea, Melanie,” Patrick said as he brushed some of the dirt off.

  Melanie gave him a cheery grin. Her cheeks were a tad too pink, and her bobbed, rust-colored hair shimmered in the afternoon sunlight. “I should go get my dad to come play too. I wonder if Uncle Liam and Uncle Daniel would want to play. Do you grown-ups like making sand castles?”

  “I think it’s almost time to go eat, sweetheart, but yes, us grown-ups love making sand castles, especially with a bunch of wonderful kids like you guys,” Patrick said as Finn and Connor toppled onto him.

  “Kids, time to come inside,” Patrick could hear Rachel call.

  He peeled the boys off him. “Okay, you guys hungry?” Finn and Connor nodded in unison.

  After gathering some of their toys, the children followed Patrick up the slightly steep hill, as he led them to a deck off the side of the cabin. Rachel and Maggie stood there waiting with large colorful beach towels in their arms.

  “You guys look like you had a lot of fun, but I’m thinking maybe you need to hop in the shower.” Rachel laughed as she ushered the children inside.

  Maggie remained planted and glared at Patrick. “So just how long are you going to keep this nonsense up?” she hissed once the children were out of earshot.

  Patrick released a long sigh and looked up toward the sky—not a single cloud was present. He inhaled deeply, taking in the rich, pine-scented air, hoping it would calm him.

  “Seriously, Patrick, this has gone on long enough.” Maggie’s voice was laced with irritation as she moved in closer, her gaze burning into his.

  “I guess you don’t see why I’m upset.”

  “I already apologized. I mean come on, this is ridiculous,” she said, her hands on her hips.

  Patrick grunted. There was no point in trying to sort this out with her, especially now at Liam’s house. Maybe eventually they could sit and talk it out, but right at that moment he wanted nothing more than to put a little distance between them. “You know, I think I’ll go check on the boys and see if Rachel needs help with them.”

  “You can’t just keep walking away. How are we ever going to get over this, Patrick?” Maggie demanded.

  “We will eventually, just not right now.” Patrick moved past her, leaving her with her mouth slightly gaped open. He knew he was probably taking this argument further than it needed to be, but he wanted to ensure that such a thing never happened again.

  ***

  Patrick carried a sleeping Finn in his arms, and Liam had an exhausted Connor draped over his shoulder. They worked silently, putting the kids in their car seats. After buckling them in and closing the door, Patrick could tell Liam wanted to talk. He wasn’t really in the mood and wanted nothing more than to go home.

  “Whatever it is you have to say, just get it out,” Patrick said as he leaned against his SUV.

  “Oh man, I hate seeing you guys fight like this. Dinner was uncomfortable and weird.”

  When dinner had been served, Patrick had sat as far away from Maggie as possible. During most of the dinner he would feel her glare at him, tears peeking behind her green eyes. He felt a little stab of guilt—he wasn’t a monster, and sure as hell didn’t want to see his sister cry. It didn’t help the situation that she was also pregnant, and that seemed to gain her some sympathy votes from the rest of the group.

  Several months ago, long before Maggie pulled her stunt, she had come home from Seattle, leaving Michael behind. Patrick didn’t utter a single word about her problems, he didn’t invade her privacy, and he had only offered her a job. He quietly watched as she shed tears over her shattered little world, but he didn’t stick his nose in her business. Now that everything was all rosy between Maggie and Michael, s
he somehow felt that she could go on and try to fix his love life and repair the hole in his heart. It would have been one thing if she had come to him and asked. He probably would have told her no, but at least they wouldn’t be in the sore place they were now.

  “All I can say is sorry that you feel that way. I’m not trying to make things awkward,” Patrick said as he moved around to the driver’s side of his car. “I better get these kids home. Thanks for having us.” He got inside and started the engine. As he pulled away slowly, he watched in the rearview mirror as Liam shook his head and walked back to the cabin.

  He wished everyone could see his side. He wanted them to understand how violated he’d felt by Maggie’s intrusion and that he wasn’t quite ready to move on yet. Patrick looked back again in the rearview mirror and saw his two sleeping sons, their small heads tilted to the side, lips slightly puckered, in a deep slumber. He envied them for a moment, as he felt his heart squeeze tightly in his chest with the strong urge to protect them. Patrick loved Finn and Connor with every fiber of his being, and the intensity of his feelings sometimes frightened him. It was a love that was incredibly deep, which only grew as the minutes ticked by. He’d loved Beth the same way, and still did.

  Chapter Two

  “Look at those precious grandchildren of mine,” Mary O’Brien exclaimed, as she carried a tray of cupcakes to an outdoor table which was stacked high with an assortment of gifts. Patrick moved a couple of gift bags out of her way as she set them down. “Thanks, dear.”

  “They’re having a lot of fun. These look amazing, Mom,” Patrick said as he examined the chocolate cupcakes, which had cream cheese frosting, thick with sprinkles.

  Mary smiled at the compliment, but he saw the sadness behind her eyes. Without exchanging words, she hugged him tightly and left to return to the kitchen. As he stood there, he appreciated that she didn’t try to use any words to soothe the ache he’d been feeling all day. Her simple gesture was enough.

  Patrick looked at the backyard, which had been overly decorated with colorful balloons and streamers that hung off several of the smaller trees and the overhang of his deck. The weather was perfect, a tad warmer than normal, as the O’Brien family celebrated Finn and Connor’s fourth birthday. Beth’s parents had arrived earlier that day to celebrate with the boys. Patrick tried to include them in various family get-togethers and special occasions. The couple lived in town, as did Beth’s younger brother, Nick. He knew how the loss of Beth had crippled her family. Her parents loved the twins and spent a good deal of time with them, which helped them hold onto their last remaining pieces of Beth.

  Everyone was sprawled out, the older men of the family seated in camp chairs or plastic patio chairs as they watched the children run around the yard. Several of the ladies were in the kitchen putting last-minute touches on the food and catching up on gossip.

  Patrick was seated next to Liam and Daniel under the shade of a large maple tree. It felt at least ten degrees cooler under it, which was a huge relief. June was proving to be warmer than usual, which meant they were in for a hot summer.

  There was an obvious sadness that seemed to hover over everyone. While Finn and Connor were happy, the joy of the occasion was tainted for everyone else because Beth wasn’t there. Patrick had tried to keep any of his emotions hidden. It was bad enough that everyone still expressed their condolences, but he understood that they were still grieving too. It didn’t change the fact that he had been up since around three that morning, and that his mind had replayed awful images that were tucked away in his brain, or that his pillow was damp from the tears he shed from missing Beth. No one could possibly understand how difficult it had been to crawl out of bed and put on a smiling face and a good show for his birthday boys. But he had done it.

  “When are we doing cake and presents?” Daniel asked. Patrick had been so lost inside his mind he almost hadn’t heard his brother.

  “Oh yeah, we probably should start soon.”

  He watched as Finn and Connor raced around the yard with Melanie; he could hear their joyous squeals of utter delight. His emotions were a tangled web: he was thankful that his children weren’t weighed down with sorrow, but he was a bit jealous that they could carry on, not knowing that their birthday was also the day their mother died. Again, he was far too consumed with his thoughts that he didn’t notice that Maggie was now standing next to him.

  “Patrick, you doing okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  Maggie sighed loudly as she cradled her growing belly. “Are you sure? I know today has to be hard.”

  “It is, but it’s also the day my boys were born.”

  He could hear the sadness in her voice as she said, “Look, I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I just want us to get along. Life’s too short, Patrick.”

  No kidding. Maybe it was how vulnerable he felt at that particular moment, but he didn’t want to argue with her anymore either. She was his sister after all, and he knew she wasn’t trying to hurt him. Without saying anything, Patrick pulled Maggie to him and wrapped his arms around her. He could feel her grow tense at first with confusion, then soften against him with relief. It felt good to hug her and to let his guard down, even if it was temporary.

  ***

  The evening sky was a blended mix of purple and orange as the sun started to set. Patrick carried the large black trash bag with him as he scooped up forgotten plastic cups and paper plates, which still had various remnants of food on them. His family had all gone home, and his sons were inside, already tucked into bed. The day had completely worn them out, and Patrick himself was feeling beyond exhausted. Now that he was finally alone and able to process his thoughts, Patrick was thankful that he was somehow able to survive the day for another year. He wondered if it would ever get easier; would that hole in his heart ever heal? He started to tear down the streamers with a tad more force than necessary, enjoying the feeling of the paper ripping from the branches and trunks of the trees that lined the backyard.

  He surveyed the now tidy yard and deck, a full garbage bag next to him as he took a seat in a patio chair, absorbing the sweet remaining warmth of the day. Evenings were quiet in Birch Valley, and he remembered all the nights that he and Beth would sit outside; the glasses of wine they shared as they stared at the blanket of stars as they planned their future; the nights when they sat on that deck; the countless tears of frustration that streamed down Beth’s cheeks as she learned of yet another failed attempt at getting pregnant; the time they held each other when they learned that they were finally going to be parents, and to twins no less. They had shared a lot of talks about their fears, hopes, and dreams out there on that deck. But four years ago he never could have imagined just how precious that time was, and how those conversations would replay in his mind.

  Patrick released a deep sigh. People had constantly told him that God had done this for a reason, or that she was in a better place, and so many other irritating, uncomfortable condolences. What if it had nothing to do with God? How could He be this cruel, to rob him and their two sons of their mother? No, there wasn’t some divine reason. Though she may be in a better place, Patrick knew that Beth would have chosen to be here with them, to finally be a mother. He wasn’t buying into the idea that this was all part of God’s plan. Any sensation of relaxation he had felt was now gone. Patrick wanted nothing more than for the day to end, and he hoped he wasn’t plagued with nightmares once his head finally hit his pillow.

  ***

  Monday was the dreaded start of the work week, and Patrick just wasn’t in the mood. Most Mondays were manageable. No one really cared for them, but something about the day irritated him more than usual as he walked into the large metal building with the great sign with bold lettering that said, ‘O’Brien Construction.’ He saw Maggie hunched over her keyboard, typing away at a rapid speed.

  “Good morning, Patrick,” she said without looking up.

  “Morning.” He still hadn’t had any coffee yet.

 
; Daniel poked out from his office. “Hey, Patrick, how’s it going?” His voice matched the overly cheery expression on his face. Daniel was always jovial, regardless of what time of the day it was. Right now, it was far too early for Patrick to deal with Daniel’s abundant glee.

  Patrick walked into his office and closed his door. He had a couple of minutes before they needed to set out for a bid on a new job. A moment later, he heard a soft knock on his door. Maggie let herself in and closed the door behind her.

  “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Are you mad at me again?” Maggie’s eyes were filled with worry as she nervously twirled her long, chestnut hair around her finger.

  He shook his head. “No, I’m not upset with you.”

  Maggie released a sigh of relief. “So, what’s going on?” She planted herself down in a chair on the opposite side of his desk.

  “I don’t know. I didn’t sleep so great and haven’t had my coffee yet.” He rattled his empty coffee cup in the air.

  “Did you want me to go get you some?”

  “Oh, I didn’t mean it like that, Maggie. Just stating a fact. Plus, the boys were a little difficult this morning when I dropped them off at Mom’s.” Patrick had felt like pulling his hair out when his sons refused to get dressed, then fought with each other in the car. The constant whining and crying this morning had set the tone for the day. It didn’t help that Patrick had hardly slept; he tossed and turned most of the night. He started to feel the beginnings of a headache.

  Maggie rose up from her seat. “Here, let me go and get you some.” Her voice was calm and soothing as she grabbed the cup from him and left the office.

  Patrick was staring at the wall in front of him when Maggie appeared minutes later, cup in hand. She set it down in front of him and smiled. “Now, hopefully this will help. You and Daniel need to be at that site in less than an hour. We can’t afford you being grumpy and not getting the job.”