Just Pretending

by Leah Rooper

  “Okay, okay, okay,” Millie interrupts, frowning. “She was pretty. But what happened next?”

  “You mean after she dropped me off at the Grand Ritz?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, uh…” I sit up and rub the back of my neck. “I came home.”

  “You…came home?” Millie repeats.

  “Yeah. I came home.”

  Millie smacks herself in the forehead. “You didn’t tell her the truth?”

  “Of course not,” I scoff. “I did the whole prince ploy thing so Daniel and I didn’t get into trouble. If I admitted that I’m actually just some goon, she’d—”

  “No,” Millie says, her gaze fiery. “You did the prince ploy because you like her.”

  “I mean, I like her, but—”

  “But what?”

  “But she’s a queen!” I say, defeated. “And I’m just…I’m just me.”

  “Exactly,” Millie says. “You’re just you. And Queen Eva spent the whole day with just you. The only thing you took from Tiberius was his name and his stupid outfit.”

  “It was Daniel’s outfit, actually.”

  “Oh yeah.” A sappy smile drifts across her face. “Actually, it was a really nice outfit.”

  “Focus!” I snap my fingers in front of her eyes.

  She pouts her lip. “How come you never invite Daniel over here? It sure would be nice to see him more.”

  I look around my cramped bedroom and wonder what Daniel or Hayden would think if they ever came inside. It’s embarrassing enough that they’ve seen the rundown exterior of our house when they’ve picked me up. Everything in our place is old, broken, or breaking. The thought of Eva finding out the truth of who I am, of ever seeing where I truly come from… A wave of anxiety runs through me.

  “None of it matters,” I say, not able to keep the defeated tone out of my voice. “I don’t know what happened. I told her I’d meet her again tomorrow when she asked to see me but—”

  “Wait!” Millie says. “She asked to see you again?”

  “Yeah, but—”

  Millie twirls around my room. “But nothing! The queen wants to see you again! She likes you!” Millie grabs my hand. “You have to go.”

  “No,” I say. “I’m hungry. Any leftovers?”

  “There’s pizza in the fridge.” Millie blinks her baby-blues at me. “I’ll heat it up for you and everything if you say you’ll go!”

  “I’ll eat it cold.” I walk out of my room and start whispering, so I don’t wake Dad. “Why do you even care?”

  “It’s like a fairy tale,” she says. “Far-off places and a prince in disguise. All we need is a daring sword fight!”

  I open the fridge and pull out a box of pizza. Ugh, disgusting. Olives. I pick them off one by one. “Yeah, okay, great plan, Mils. I’ll just show up tomorrow as Prince Tiberius again and—”

  “No, you have to tell her the truth. You have to be yourself.”

  But something flashes in my brain. An idea. “I could show up tomorrow as Prince Tiberius.”

  “Oh no,” Millie whispers. “You’ve got crazy eyes.”

  My pizza shakes in my hand. I could do it. I could wait in front of the Grand Ritz and spend another whole day with Eva. She leaves for Eldonia really soon—in just a few more days. Is there any harm in keeping her company? I don’t want to leave her standing out there for nothing.

  My heart beats faster in my chest. It’s a crazy plan. A stupid plan.

  But it’s better than telling her the truth. Because I know one more day with Queen Evangeline is worth it.

  Suddenly, the light flashes on, and Millie and I both groan.

  Dad stands in the doorway, bleary-eyed. “What are you two doing up?”

  “Midnight snack,” Millie says, nibbling the olives off my plate.

  Dad shakes his head. “Hey, Ty, I forgot I have to do a full-stock audit of the store by Monday. Can you watch Millie tomorrow?”

  “No, he’s busy—” Millie protests, but I move in front of her.

  “Of course, Dad. Whatever you need.”

  “Thanks, bud.” He claps me on my shoulder. “I can always count on you.” He yawns and walks out of the kitchen. “Okay, I’m retiring for good this time. Night, you two. Love you.”

  “Love you, Dad,” we say together.

  As soon as he shuts his door, we both turn to each other, glaring.

  “What’s your plan now, wise guy?” Millie says.

  “You shouldn’t talk to me that way. It’s not very princess-like,”—a small smile curves up my face—“Your Highness.”

  Chapter Four

  Tyler

  I pace back and forth on the sidewalk. I’m surprised I haven’t worn a hole in the cement, let alone my shoes. It’s 11:58 a.m., only two minutes before Eva is supposed to pick me up. The revolving door of the Grand Ritz swooshes behind me as finely dressed patrons go in and out.

  I run a hand through my curls. My hair had been slicked back yesterday, but I don’t own any hair gel. Millie tried putting Vaseline in my hair, but it just made me look like I was homeless, so I had to take my fourth shower of the morning to get it out.

  I rub my sweaty palms on my pants and wish I’d had time for a fifth shower.

  “Calm down,” Millie snaps. She doesn’t even bother to look at me—she’s got her nose in one of her pocket books. “There’s still time to take off the tie.”

  I fling my hand to my neck, straightening my plain black tie. “We’re going out on the town with royalty,” I say under my breath. “I want to look professional.”

  “Out on the town?” Millie says. “I thought you were going for a job interview.”

  I look down at myself. I couldn’t wear Daniel’s royal garb again, especially since it was soaked and splattered with paint. But it’s not like I own any nice clothes. Hell, the newest thing I own is my #13 Falcons jersey. The best I could do was add a tie to Dad’s white button-up shirt and black work pants.

  “At least I have some flair,” Mils says, fluffing one of her short pigtails. She is dressed to the nines in a poufy pink dress Dad found at a second-hand shop last spring. It’s a little short now, but she’s got bright blue tights on.

  “Right, very stylish,” I say.

  “Hey, I thought I told you kids to stop loitering!”

  I look behind me to see the doorman huffing out of the revolving doors. I thought we wouldn’t have to worry about him when an old lady with fifty pieces of luggage started flashing bills at him.

  “We’re waiting for someone,” Millie growls at him.

  “Come on, Millie,” I say. “We’ll just go down the street a bit.”

  The doorman lumbers over, a big man with a bulging, red face and squinty eyes. “I want you off my block, kid. You know what it looks like to guests, having brats like you two hanging out front? Cheapens the establishment.”

  Millie crosses her arms and scowls. “I’ll have you know, we’re waiting for the queen of Eldonia.”

  He throws his head back and laughs. “Oh yeah? And my mama’s the queen of jolly ol’ Eng—”

  “Ty!”

  It’s like the whole world gets misty and the only clear spot in the universe is her face. A beacon in the night. An awning in the rain. If I was a whale, I’d beach myself on her shore. If I was a star, I’d bow to her moon. If I was—

  Millie steps on my foot. Hard. “Wake up, dopey,” she grunts.

  “E-Eva,” I say, barely regaining the ability to talk. “H-Hey.”

  “Hi,” she says, walking toward us. She wears a pretty long-sleeved black dress and heels that make her almost as tall as me. Her hair flows behind her like dark water. I’ve never seen her look so regal. The Boulder hovers behind her, like her Japanese God of Death.

  “I told you!” Millie says, staring defiantly up at the doorman. “She’s the queen of Eldonia!”

  The doorman looks from Millie to me to Eva and back. “P-Pardon me,” he says. He retreats to his podium by the door.
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  “That’s what I thought,” Millie says and crosses her arms.

  “It’s good to see you,” Eva says as she reaches us. Then she hugs me. I stand stricken. Her whole body is pressed against mine, her hands on my back, her breath on my neck.

  I feel a sharp pain in my hand, and dart my eyes down to Millie, who has the skin of my palm firmly pinched between her fingers. She jerks her eyes toward Eva.

  Oh right. I guess…I guess I should hug her back. Awkwardly, like a tin soldier, I wrap my arms around her.

  You’re not Tyler, I remind myself. Right now, you’re Tiberius.

  My arms wrap tighter around her, and I embrace her, really embrace her. One hand drifts up, playing with the curls that run low on her back.

  I thought my lie would be worth one more day with her. But, in fact, my lie was worth it for this one single moment.

  Then she pulls away.

  “I like your outfit,” she says, then smiles and tugs on one of my wayward curls. “And hair.”

  I feel my face flush deep red. “Yeah, uh, sometimes I like to…y’know, dress like a commoner.” I shrug. “To blend in with the locals.”

  Eva gazes at me with a look I can’t place. “There’s no way you can blend in…not with a smile like that.”

  My face grows hotter, and I swear someone could see the pounding of my heart through my shirt.

  Millie coughs, and Eva looks down.

  “Oh, uh,” I quickly start. “This is—”

  “I am Lady Camilla Bloom Blossom Mermaidia Unicorndra, the sixth cousin, twice removed of Prince Tiberius of Perienza.” Millie sticks her nose high in the air. “But you may call me Millie.”

  “She’s a distant relative who lives in Chicago,” I say, hoping I haven’t sweated through my white shirt. “My, uh, mother thought it would be a nice gesture of me to visit while I was here.” I give Eva a pleading look. “I hope you don’t mind if she tags along with us today.”

  Eva smiles. “Of course not! Hello, Millie, it’s lovely to meet you!” Eva curtsies deeply, and I swear Mils’s eyeballs are going to fall out of her skull. Eva looks up at me with a cheeky wink. “Mothers, right?”

  “Right,” I say. “So, where to?”

  Just then, I look over Eva’s shoulder and see someone stumbling down the sidewalk toward the Grand Ritz. I can’t place him—he looks so familiar, and yet…

  He’s wearing a deep V-neck shirt and matching lime-green pants. He’s only got one flip-flop on—who even wears flip-flops in the fall? His long hair is a tangle, half of it in a man-bun, the other flying free. And he’s wearing the stupidest micro sunglasses…

  Oh my God. It’s Prince Tiberius.

  The real Prince Tiberius.

  “What are you looking at?” Eva says, starting to turn around.

  “Uh, nothing!” I say too loudly and grab her shoulder. “Come on, let’s go this way—”

  “YOU ARE THE BRIGHT AND BOLD—” Prince Tiberius sings loudly as he stumbles down the sidewalk. “YOU ARE THE FIERCE AND TRUE!”

  “What is that racket?” Eva says, trying to turn around.

  I grab her hand and tug her away. “It’s nothing. Let’s get out of here—”

  “YOU ARE MY BEAUTEOUS LAND!” Tiberius squawks. “YOU ARE…PERIENZAAAAA!”

  Eva tries to turn around, but I’ve got my hand on her back. “Hey, is that person singing the national anthem of Perienza?”

  Oh my God. He’s singing the freaking national anthem of Perienza. Give me a break, Tiberius! I shoot Millie a desperate look.

  “Someone must recognize you, Tiberius!” she says quickly. “And he’s singing for you!”

  “Recognize me?” I stumble. “Oh, uh, yeah, that happens a lot.”

  “No one sings the Eldonian national anthem for me,” Eva says.

  I try to walk faster but she’s lingering. “The Perienza one is a little catchier, don’t you think? Come on.”

  Eva worms her way out of my grasp and turns around. “Oh my goodness,” she whispers.

  No. No, no, no…she’s seen the real Tiberius. She’ll recognize him from some long-ago meeting or maybe a postcard or a stamp or something. This is it.

  “Should someone help that poor homeless man?” she says to me. “He looks like he’s in trouble.”

  “H-Homeless man?” I stare at Prince Tiberius. He’s wandering all over the sidewalk, his terrible singing and slurred words concealing his accent. He looks like he just got hit by a bus, then ran over by a semi. Daniel wasn’t kidding when he said Tiberius likes to go hard—he must have been out partying all night.

  “PERIEEEEENZA! PERIEEEEENZA! HOW I LOVE THEE, PERIEEEEENZA!” Tiberius shrieks, thrusting his hands out in the air. The Boulder takes a defensive position in front of Eva, and the doorman steps out to see what’s going on.

  I take a deep breath. This is okay. This is okay. Thankfully, Prince Tiberius is still so hammered, he doesn’t seem to know what’s going on.

  Prince Tiberius whips off his micro sunglasses. “Mou philo?” He stares straight at me. His slobbering face shifts into a wide smile. “Mou philo! From the aerodromio! Come here!”

  He starts skipping toward us, fast. Shit. He recognizes me!

  “Friend of yours?” Millie whispers, looking up at me.

  “Not exactly.” I grab Eva’s hand again. “Come on, Eva, let’s go.”

  Prince Tiberius’s arms are wide open and he stumbles straight toward us—

  Dwayne Boulder charges at Tiberius, tackling him to the ground. Eva screeches. Dwayne wrenches the arms of Prince Tiberius behind his back, straddling him with his tree trunk legs. “I’ve got him secured, Your Highness,” Dwayne says.

  “Release me at once!” the prince shrieks. He stares at me imploringly. “It is I, Prince Tiberius!”

  My heart pounds, and I freeze, afraid to look at Eva or Dwayne. Will it click? That Dwayne is actually apprehending the real prince?

  “He’s delusional!” Millie cries. “He’s probably doped up on drugs and booze!”

  I shoot daggers at her. “Okay, what books are you reading?”

  “Send him to the dungeon!” Millie cries.

  The doorman rushes forward with two security guards. “Don’t worry, Your Highness! We’ll take it from here!”

  Dwayne releases Prince Tiberius and lets the two security guards take over. They hoist the Prince up by his shirt and start dragging him inside.

  “IT’S ME!” he cries. “I’M STAYING AT YOUR HOTEL!” His final flip-flop falls off his foot.

  I release a deep breath. “Are you okay?”

  Eva nods. “There are so many weirdos in America.”

  “You must be shaken up,” I say, one eye on the real prince being dragged through the doors of the hotel. I wrap an arm around Eva’s shoulder, and she melts into me. “Don’t worry, I’m here.”

  “Thank you, Tiberius,” she murmurs.

  Dwayne shakes his head.

  “Shall we get something to eat?” Eva mumbles. “There’s a wonderful restaurant just a few blocks from here.”

  “That sounds great,” I say. We start walking, and I feel my heart return to a normal rhythm. Sorry, Tiberius.

  Eva starts raving about the restaurant, and I wonder which one she’s talking about. “Trust me,” she says. “This place is recommended by the locals! Especially by—”

  I’ve only ever been to one spot in this neighborhood, and that’s because it’s Daniel’s favorite…

  “My brother!”

  Oh no. She’s talking about El Pasto! Daniel only eats there, like, fifty times a day. My feet feel like lead. “Oh, uh, I dunno, why don’t we check out something in a different neighborhood?” I say. “You know, there just seem to be so many freaks around here. Maybe we’d be better off going out of town! Yeah, far out of town!”

  She laughs and slips an arm through mine. My skin feels on fire. “Don’t be silly, Ty! Dan-Dan is practically a gourmet. And Dwayne will be on the lookout for any other imposters.”
>
  I look down at Millie for confirmation, and she just shrugs. “Okay,” I say. “Let’s trust your brother.” Which, I know from experience, is never a good idea.

  El Pasta looms before us, a decrepit building nearly in shambles. For some reason, Daniel insists on dragging us here for pizza and tacos, even though we’d always rather get burgers at Ms. Sue’s. The last thing I should be stuffing my face with is El Pasta’s mystery taco filling before my hockey game tomorrow afternoon. I try to peer in the window to see if Daniel might be here, but the windows are so dirty I can’t see anything.

  “Come on, Ty,” Eva says, gesturing me in. “You’re going to love it! I know it doesn’t look like much, but the food is divine.”

  I take a deep breath and step through the door to the restaurant. Quickly, I scan the seats. No leather-jacket–wearing, crooked-nosed hockey players. I exhale loudly.

  A pimply-faced server walks over to seat us. His eyes bulge as soon as he registers Eva. “Q-Queen Evangeline? B-Back again?”

  Eva nudges me and whispers, “Guess I am famous in America.”

  I try to give a genuine laugh.

  The waiter leads us over the cracked checkered floor and gestures to a table with peeling vinyl seats.

  We sit down and open our menus.

  “Is this an Italian or Mexican restaurant?” Millie asks.

  “I don’t think anyone knows.” I peer over my menu, staring at Eva. Her face is flushed and red from the cold air outside, and some of her curls have come loose. But still… it’s like the sun shines beneath her skin.

  She looks at me and places a hand on my arm. “Ty, if all our dates are this exciting, I think I’m in for a real adventure.”

  D-Date? A stupid grin crosses my face. I don’t even care that Dwayne and Millie are giving each other the side-eye. Eva…Eva called this a date.

  What could possibly ruin this perfect day?

  Then Eva’s eyes widen, and a grin as big as mine appears on her perfect mouth. She raises her arm and waves. “Look!” she says. “It’s my brother!”

  …

  Eva

  I wave through the window. Daniel and Madison are strolling by hand in hand, heading straight for the restaurant. I’m sure Daniel thought he got out of seeing the Prince of Perienza, but as long as he’s here, he might as well commit to his princely duties. When I called my big brother this morning to say I had made my own plans for today, he didn’t even apologize for not showing up yesterday. He just said he had “handled it”. I told him that I, in fact, had handled it and hung up, admittedly in a bit of a huff.