Just Pretending

by Leah Rooper

  “What?”

  “You take all those presents home with you.”

  Her gaze shifts to the slightly bent packages in the corner. “Really?”

  “Except the small one.” I eye the little square box with golden wrap. It had been a present for Tiberius, but all I had to do was change the name. Tyler and Tiberius weren’t so different after all. “I haven’t decided what to do with that one yet. Don’t get your hopes up, please. I think I’m starting to realize that what your brother said is true.”

  Daniel gathers all the presents I bought for Millie and her family and heads out the door to load them in her father’s car. Millie hesitates in the doorway, then looks up at me. “Not to offend you, Queen Eva, but if you really did believe that, deep in your heart…then why are you still in Chicago?”

  …

  Tyler

  I flick my eyes up to the clock. Shoot, the gang is going to be here any minute. I take a deep breath. I’ve read the essay twice over now, and it doesn’t sound half-bad…as long as everything that’s on my mind came out right on the paper.

  “Hey, Millie!” I call.

  She wanders out of the kitchen, chewing on a slice of cold pizza. “What?”

  “Can you proofread this when you have a sec?”

  “Another one?” she says. “This is the fourth application you’ve filled out this week.”

  “It’s the last day of the year, so I’ve got to get them in. Besides, this one’s an essay,” I say and rush out of my seat. “For the art school. In Prague.”

  “Ooh.” Millie sits down at the computer. “And you’re sure Prague’s the one? There are art schools in Italy or France. Or Japan!”

  “I’m not sure of anything, Mils,” I say as I kiss the top of her head and snag her slice of pizza all in one go. “Except that I’m going to see it all.”

  “You won’t like that!” she calls as I walk out of the room. “It has olives on it!”

  “I’m a new me, Mils!” I say, twirling around. “And new me likes everything!” I take a bite. “Yuck, except olives.”

  “You better hurry!” Millie calls out. “I think I can hear your hooligan friends outside.”

  I run into Dad’s room, where he’s laid out practically his whole closet on his bed. “What you are thinking?” he says. “Shirt and tie? Button-up?”

  I stare down at my dad’s nicest clothes. “I think I gotta go big or go home for this one, Dad.” I flick my eyes to his closet. “You still got that old suit I wear to press conferences?”

  Dad smiles. “You bet I do.”

  In two minutes, I’ve got my suit on and my hair slicked back. Dad grabs my arm. “Good luck, son.”

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  “Make sure you give her a good kiss!” Millie calls from the other room. “Like a good one! Like a storybook one.”

  I ruffle her hair as I pass by her to open the door. “Yeah, yeah.”

  “I like your essay, by the way. It’s nice to read about your team.”

  “You really liked it?”

  “Yeah,” she says. “But I think you meant to write ‘Coach Zabinski’ throughout it…not ‘Couch Zabinski’.”

  “That’s what you’re for!” I yell and swing the door open.

  Hayden, Alice, and Madison are all standing at the bottom of the steps, bundled up in jackets, hats, and scarves, leaning against Alice’s mom’s van. I’m so grateful the three of them are here, that they answered my call for help. That they’re standing out in the freezing cold in what very well looks like could turn into a snowstorm.

  The three of them start whooping and catcalling at me. Alice gives a very impressive whistle.

  “Looking good, Evans!” Madison says, fanning her face.

  I try to smile. “No Daniel?”

  She rubs my arm. “Sorry…he’s in a mood.”

  “But we’ve got your back!” Alice says. “On the ice and off.”

  “Thanks, guys,” I say. Then it hits me…that sunshine my dad had been talking about. I can feel it radiating from all of them. My friends, giving me their strength and warmth.

  “You ready to rock ‘n’ roll, Romeo?” Hayden smacks the van. “Let’s load her up!”

  Alice pushes the last canvas into the van and steps back to admire her packing job. “That’s a lot of art, Evans.”

  “I had a lot of inspiration.”

  “There’re only three seats accessible now,” Hayden says. “I’ll take the subway and meet you guys at the store so you can get started.”

  Alice worries her lip. Her face is red from the cold. “That’ll take too long. We’re already cutting it close for our game tonight.”

  “I know. I’m sorry,” I say, rubbing my hands together. “This was the only time we could do it, though, with the store being closed this afternoon for New Year’s Eve.”

  “You’ll just have to win her over quick,” Madison says. “Then she can come to the game and watch the Falcons destroy the Ice Wolves!”

  “Or watch us lose our chance at the playoffs.” Alice’s face falls. “I can’t believe it’s our last season together and we might not even make it to the playoffs! This was supposed to be our year to win! And if we lose tonight…” She makes a slashing motion across her neck.

  “We can’t worry about that now,” Hayden says. “Right now, we just have to concentrate on getting us all over to the store in time.”

  I stare at the super-stuffed van; the whole thing is crammed with my canvases. “Shit, guys.”

  A powerful roar rumbles through the air, and we all turn to look down the street. A red motorcycle plows through the snow, its leather-jacket, sunglass-wearing rider seeming oblivious to the wind. The motorcycle pulls up right behind the van, and Daniel Sacachelli hops off.

  “Daniel!” Madison squeals and leaps into his arms. “You came!”

  “Yeah, well, it’s not like I can trust you four to get anything done without me,” he says and eyes up the van. “Besides, looks like someone’s going to need a ride.”

  “I knew you’d come!” Hayden says, clapping him on the back.

  “Yeah,” Alice says. “You’re such a softie.”

  A beat of silent passes and Hayden, Al, and Madison all back away a little and pretend to busy themselves re-adjusting the art in the van. Daniel and I stand in front of each other, both of us unable to meet the other’s gaze. I flick my eyes up and notice Daniel’s nose looks more crooked than normal. My bad.

  I shuffle my feet in the snow. “You didn’t have to come.”

  “Yeah, I did,” Daniel says, brushing his thumb against his nose. “Falcons stay together and all that.”

  “Not when one falcon pretends to be an eagle to impress the other falcon’s sister,” I mutter.

  Daniel eyes me seriously. “You weren’t really an eagle. More of a…penguin?”

  I shove him. “Oh, great, thanks!”

  He laughs then turns around to his bike and grabs a helmet. “Come on, Evans. You’re riding with me.”

  I don’t know how the hell Daniel’s motorcycle made it through that blinding snow—or how we’re still alive—but somehow, we whizzed through the streets in record time. It didn’t hurt that the roads have started to empty, since the snow’s starting to fall even harder. We pull up in front of my dad’s shop before the others get here.

  I hop off the bike and hand Daniel back his helmet. I stare down the empty street, waiting for the van to appear. When it doesn’t, and the silence seems too awkward, I say, “Hey…I wanna say I’m sorry. For lying. And for messing with your sister.”

  Daniel looks away. “Dude…it’s okay, you don’t have to—”

  “Yes. Yes, I do. I acted like a total idiot and an asshole.” I place a hand on his shoulder. “You deserve an apology.”

  Daniel looks at me, then smiles. “Apology accepted. And I’m sorry for beating the shit out of you…twice.”

  “Hey, it doesn’t count if I let you win.” I laugh and head toward the store. It’s p
ractically blizzarding out here.

  “Wait.” Daniel touches my shoulder. I turn to look at him. I’ve never seen Daniel look so…so awkward. “I need to talk to you about something.”

  “What is it?”

  Daniel finally looks at me, and his face is intense. But his eyes aren’t dark—instead they glimmer with the same fire that flickers in Eva’s eyes. “You are the single best guy I know. And no matter what, you’ve never let your situation turn you bad. Guys like me, guys like Hayden…sometimes the darkness gets to us.” A silent moment passes. “But you’ve always been good. And I know that sounds goofy, but I mean it.”

  “Thanks, man,” I say. “I still have some clouds I’m working through.”

  “But you’re working through that. And I see it. And…and well…I have something to give you.” He reaches into his leather jacket and pulls out an envelope.

  Hesitantly, I take it and open it up. Inside, there’s a long letter, the whole thing crammed with words. As I stare at them, I feel my heart skip a nervous beat.

  No. I can do this. I know how to do this. I blink and then focus on the words. Separate them. Identify them one by one.

  We are pleased to offer you conditional acceptance to the University of Eldonia…

  “Daniel!” I cry, voice cracking. “What is this?”

  “I told you I was scouting for the new university hockey team I created in Eldonia.” Daniel shrugs. “Turns out Eldonians really suck at hockey, so I’ve got to scout some international kids if the team’s going to have a shot.”

  “Daniel…” I say again. “I can’t—”

  “It’s a full-ride scholarship,” Daniel says. “Provided you play for the team for all four years.”

  I blink, awestruck. “I…I don’t know what to say.”

  “Don’t say anything now,” he says. “But if you decide Eldonia’s the place for you, we’d love to have you.”

  My heart feels like it could burst from my chest. “I won’t forget this, Daniel.”

  “Yeah, well…” He looks away. “Let’s see what the queen thinks first.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Eva

  I can’t see a single thing outside the windows of the car—it’s nothing but a screen of white, even though the Uber driver’s windshield wipers are on full blast.

  “We’re almost there.” He narrows his eyes and leans in close to the windshield. “I think?”

  My heart is beating as irregularly as this Honda Civic’s engine on the snowy road. What am I doing? I look down at the invitation in my hands. Why couldn’t I ignore this?

  The car jerks up and down, and I grab hold of the seat. The driver, a young fellow with a backward cap and a squeaky voice, shoots me a frantic look. “Don’t worry, we just hit a little ice patch.” His gloved hands tighten on the wheel. “Or possibly a racoon, although what it was doing out this time of year, I don’t know.”

  I tug on the zipper of my jacket. “Be careful, please.”

  Suddenly, the car shudders to a stop, and through the white-plastered windshield, I see a plume of smoke. This can’t be good…

  “Uh, one moment.” The driver tugs down his beanie and jumps out of the car. A moment later, he pops his pimply face back through the driver’s window. “Uh yeah, so I hit something…but it was a cinderblock someone dropped in the middle of the road. We might be here a while, lady.”

  “Which way is it? I’ll walk.” I toss some money down on the seat and open the door. Immediately, I’m pummeled with a gust of snowy wind. I can barely pull my hood up.

  “It’s just a block down.”

  I try to peer through the snow. It’s falling in giant heaps, smothering the sidewalks and road. There are no other cars on the road.

  My mother’s words replay in my head. How badly do you want it? I take in a deep breath. What are you willing to do to get it?

  Tyler pretended to be a prince. Surely, I could trudge through a snowstorm.

  “I’ve come this far,” I mutter. “I’ve got to see this through.”

  I heave myself through the snow, holding a hand up to shield my eyes. It’s deep, and I have to force my boots through it.

  There are a few cars slammed into snowdrifts on the side of the road, but other than that, it’s like a ghost town. The only thing that seems to be moving is a carriage driver, slowly urging his two Clydesdale horses through the snow. He leads them under a store awning. Everyone is hunkering up to wait out the worst of this storm.

  But not me. I’m out in the thick of it, like the crazy person I am.

  I get to the end of the block and scan the shops. Most of the signs are covered in a thick layer of snow. There’s a sandwich board with a hockey stick on the top. I give it a kick, and the snow slides off, revealing a faded logo: Fred’s Sport Shoppe.

  “Well,” I say to the wind, “I’m here.”

  The store is dark inside, but I try the door anyway. It’s unlocked. A bell jingles as I step inside, and I blink, trying to adjust my eyes to the darkness. I pull back my hood and snow falls off in heaps, crashing down to the carpet.

  “Eva…”

  Tyler’s voice. My eyes search the darkness, and my body hums with the sound of his voice, urging me to do something. But what? Kick him? Kiss him?

  “First of all,” he says, “I want to tell you how sorry I am, for everything I said. I should never have yelled at you. But there’s one thing I was right about—you didn’t belong with that Tyler Evans. If I were stronger, maybe I could just tell you. But I’m going to show you instead.”

  “Tyler!” I say. He brought me all the way here to further explain to me how we don’t belong together? I step forward, but I can’t see him in the darkness.

  Suddenly, lights flash on. I bring my hand up to shield my eyes. I blink, taking in my surroundings. Thick black sheets are draped along the sides of the store, and hung on each wall, surrounded by twinkle lights, are paintings.

  I take in a breath and step to the first canvas. It’s the watercolor we did of the cityscape of Chicago. My eyes flick to the title underneath, handwritten on thick white cardstock.

  Inconvenient Storm

  Price: $13.00

  I walk to the next painting, the snow dripping off my coat and onto the floor. It is another watercolor, but this one is an explosion of vivid shapes and bright colors. The paint drips down the canvas, and at the bottom, it’s a still-life of olives in a bowl. The restaurant. The broken pipe. A feeling, unbidden, rushes through me. It was the first time he held me—when I looked up at his face and knew I wanted him in such a new, unfamiliar, and exhilarating way.

  Olive Me and Olive You

  Price: $13.00

  Charcoal drawings fill the next canvas—sketches of me painting. At the bottom, there’s a smaller sketch—two people in an embrace, woven together through strokes and lines. Our first kiss. My hand falls from my lips. I don’t remember touching them.

  Literally the Best Day of my Life

  Price: $13.00

  “Not one for cryptic titles, I see,” I mutter and look around. It’s just me, the lights, and the paintings. I move to the next one, faster now.

  It was an oil painting, layered and dark. The Eldonian castle.

  Castle of Ice and Dreams

  Price: $13.00

  A pencil sketch of a reindeer, eyes wild, against a background of ice and snow.

  Tyler’s Bane

  Price: $13.00

  A choked laugh escapes me, and I follow the lights to the next painting. I stumble to a stop in front of this one. It’s covered in a rainbow of thick paint splotches—a splatter painting.

  Words

  Price: $13.00

  My whole body flushes, heating up under my jacket. I remember the pain in his eyes as he stared at those black paint cans—and then the freedom we created together. I tear myself away from it and move on.

  The next one is simple—completely white except for drips of color, spreading out like…like paint in snow. I heav
e in a shaking breath before looking down at the title.

  I love you

  Price: $13.00

  I stumble away from it. I’m running now, searching through the store for the next painting. What do they mean? These paintings speak of honesty, and adventure, and color, and light, and… and love. “Tyler!”

  I stumble to a stop, another painting in front of me. It’s the silhouette of a boy lying on his bed. Above him is a collage of paintbrushes, words, the outline of countries…all surrounding one thing. A girl.

  A drawing of me.

  Dreams

  Price: N.F.S.

  I feel his presence behind me. I am frozen in place. “No price on that one.”

  “That one’s not for sale,” he says. “That one is for you.”

  I tear my eyes from the painting and turn to him. I can feel the tears on my cheeks, wet and hot. But I don’t care. I am here for him, bare, honest in every way.

  “It’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of,” he says. He’s dressed in a suit, his tie a little wrinkly. His hair may have been styled at one point, but it’s windswept, tumbling to the side of his face. He steps forward. “And you’re in the center of the painting because you’ve made it all possible, Evangeline.”

  I step away from him. “You said we don’t belong together. So, what is all of this?”

  “I did mean that,” he says, and his voice is low and rough. “Here’s the thing, Eva… I shouldn’t have blamed you for not talking to me before, because honestly, it never would have worked between us. I was right about that. Because who I was—that boy you first met in Eldonia and at the rink—he was too afraid to try.

  “But when I was Tiberius, I felt brave, and confident, and strong for the first time in my life. And it wasn’t the invisible crown that did it to me. It was you.”

  “I forgave you for the lie,” I say. “I forgave you, and I came to you, and—”

  “And I’m so sorry.” Tyler tilts his head back, and I can see all the lights reflect in his blue eyes. “What I feel for you, this love I have, is bigger than anything I’ve ever felt in my life before. It changed me. And who I am when I’m with you is who I’m going to be for the rest of my life. And even if I ruined it forever, every single painting here is to thank you for showing me the person I could be.”