Intrinsical

by Lani Woodland

  I startled at his unexpected word choice. “Again?”

  “Well, besides drowning . . .” He stopped and somehow I knew he was trying to figure out how to explain the rest. “I saw the light coming and I wanted to watch you cross. I wanted to be there with you . . . so you wouldn’t be alone. Then I saw the darkness trying to get to you as well . . . I wasn’t sure which one would reach you first and I panicked. Instead of pushing you toward the light . . . I grabbed you rather . . . rashly. I took you away from them both.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Well . . .” he sighed again. “Honestly, I’m not sure, but I think it means that you are stuck here with me.”

  I blinked in sheer confusion. “I’m not sure what you’re getting at.”

  Brent tucked his thumbs through his belt loops, not meeting my eyes. “I think you might actually have missed your chance at Heaven or whatever . . . because of me.” My mouth dropped in complete surprise and I found I had no words. “I think my pulling you from the light might have . . .”

  I found my voice and it wasn’t happy. “So I’m dead, but I don’t get to go to Heaven because of you!?”

  Suddenly agitated, he started chewing on his fingernails as he spoke. “Basically, but I only did it because the darkness was coming.”

  For a moment the dual image of the light on one side of the pool and the sinister gloom on the other flashed before my eyes. Dread swirled through me at the memory of the heavy black that had felt like it desired to swallow me.

  “What is the mist? Is it Hell? Have I been too bad to go to Heaven?” Every rule Cherie and I had broken replayed itself in my mind.

  Brent chuckled quietly, which made me throw him an evil look. “Of course not.”

  I tapped my finger to my chin thinking. “It attacked me once on campus and it’s what tried to choke you the day I saved your life.”

  “It was?” Brent asked astounded. “I always wondered about that.”

  “Yeah.”

  “So the mist is responsible for you and I meeting.” He laughed. “It really is up to no good.”

  I eyed him suspiciously. “Did you ever see it?”

  “No, but I think I felt it. That day it attacked you, I could almost sense it then, too. I could tell something was happening the way your hair was flying everywhere like you were inside a twister. I could almost feel something there, something trying to hurt you. I just knew you were in trouble and needed my help, so I blasted the area with a gust of wind. It was the only thing I could think to do, but it seemed to work.” He fiddled with the knot of his tie. “And I didn’t say anything because . . . because I couldn’t see anything. Why didn’t you?”

  “I wanted to, but I was afraid you’d call me crazy.”

  He shrugged his shoulders, frowning. “Yeah, I guess I deserve that.”

  “But what is it?”

  “Beats me. All I know is to avoid it when I see it. I thought I could protect you but that didn’t turn out so well.”

  “What would happen if it caught me?” I asked.

  “Again, I don’t know but I’m guessing nothing good.”

  “If we’re . . . dead—” It was still hard to say the word. “And we’re not in Heaven or Hell, where are we?

  “Limbo, I guess. We’re not alive, but we aren’t with the other spirits either. I have no idea how long we’ll be stuck here or what happens next.”

  “What kept you from the light? The black mist?”

  Brent shook his head. “Nothing. The light didn’t come for me.” He dropped to the ground with a sigh. “It’s almost like the Cosmos isn’t aware that I died.”

  “When did you die?”

  “I died a few weeks ago, or maybe it was a few days; I’ve lost track of time, but I’ve been dead for a while.” Brent took a deep breath. “You’ll probably remember it— the night I was supposed to start training you.”

  “That’s why you didn’t show up?” He nodded, and I chewed my lip. “So ever since then it hasn’t been you?”

  Brent shook his head.

  “Then who has it been? Why did he kill you? And why kill me, too?” I asked in a rush of words.

  A grim and determined smile carved itself into Brent’s face. “That’s the question, isn’t it?”

  My fingers drummed on my leg as I waited for Brent to continue but he didn’t. “And the answer is?”

  “Your guess is as good as mine.”

  “Really? That’s it.”

  Brent nodded, resting his back against the trunk of a tree. He stretched his legs out and crossed his ankles.

  “Any theories?”

  “No. But I’m starting to wonder exactly how my brother died.”

  I slinked down to the bumpy ground as I asked. “Do you think his . . . death—”

  Brent swallowed hard. “You can call it what it was.”

  I averted my gaze and licked my lips nervously. “Do you think his suicide is connected to this?”

  “I have no proof, but my instincts say yes.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “For some time after . . . my body was shanghaied, I had company.” Brent scratched the back of his head.

  “Okay . . .” I drawled out.

  “Phil Lawson.”

  I leaned toward Brent stopping myself from taking his hand. “That isn’t possible, Brent. He killed himself right after your body was snatched.”

  “That’s just it— he didn’t.” Brent brought his knees to his chest. “Someone had stolen his body and had it for a long time before I joined him.”

  “Is he still around?”

  Brent’s voice sounded feeble when he answered, “No.”

  “What happened to him?”

  “The mist got him, probably about the time of his so-called suicide. After his body died, the light and mist came for him, just like they did for you. I tried to help but . . . he didn’t stand a chance. It wasn’t pretty.” Brent’s voice was barely audible.

  “But it never tried to get you?” My stomach lurched and it felt like my tonsils doubled in size.

  Brent shook his head. “The mist knocked me on my butt a few times, but other than that, it never noticed me at all.” Rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands, he added, “The whole thing got me thinking— maybe that’s what happened with the other suicides. Maybe their spirits got evicted and were stuck here like me. Maybe they didn’t really kill themselves. Maybe Neal didn’t choose to die.”

  He was quiet, his last words lingering. I lifted my hand and started rubbing his back, imagining Phil Lawson being captured by the mist. “Thank you for saving me. Maybe I’m stuck in Limbo but at least that . . . thing didn’t get me.”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t thank him so soon,” Brent’s voice said from behind, not beside me, as a chill crept into the air.

  I spun in confusion, squinting against the now seemingly denser dark of the night. There stood Brent, his brown eyes edged and flecked with green, dressed in the same dark suit he had worn at the party. It took a moment for my mind to register that I wasn’t looking at my Brent, but a fake Brent in a stolen body.

  Fake Brent was watching me closely, and as soon as he saw a look of comprehension cross my face, he smiled in satisfaction. It gave me the creeps; I didn’t like seeing Brent’s face looking like that. I shoved the acid that was rising in my throat back down, but I couldn’t keep it out of my tone as I questioned him.

  “What do you mean? He saved me. Why wouldn’t I thank him?”

  Fake Brent smiled even more greasily than before, if that were possible. “Isn’t it obvious?” He taunted. “If it wasn’t for him, you might still be alive. I might never have noticed you if you hadn’t saved him from choking that day. And then, after he died, he tried to pass messages to you. I was left with no choice; I had to get rid of you. Well, and I have a few personal reasons, too.”

  After recovering from his shock, Real Brent hurled himself toward the imposter, his face full of fury. Fake Brent easily s
idestepped Real Brent, his eyebrows slightly raised, with a look of light amusement on his face. “Feel better?”

  Real Brent stood up and dusted himself off. “Who are you?’

  “I’ve been many people over the years, but originally I was Thomas,” he said with a formal bow.

  “Well . . . Thomas, why are you here? What do you want? Do you want to gloat? I’ll tell you what you can do with that gloating.” Brent made a rude hand gesture.

  Thomas laughed, completely ignoring Brent’s graphic suggestions on what he could do with his free time, and interrupted him. “I’m here to collect Yara,” he announced, meeting our shocked faces with an evil grin.

  “Collect me?” I asked, my voice catching on my words.

  Brent slid in front of me. “Like you did with Phil?”

  “Yes— if I need to, I’ll take her the same way.”

  Brent shuddered. “I can’t let you do that.”

  “You wouldn’t be able to stop me.” Thomas held up his hands. “But I’m willing to make it easier on her. I need Yara. Why else would I have killed her?”

  “Because you felt like it?”

  “I don’t enjoy it.”

  “Then why murder her?”

  “I already told you why,” Thomas said. “There were many reasons, but mainly because I need her.”

  “Why do you need me?” I couldn’t help but ask, peeking around Brent, my hands resting on his waist.

  Thomas turned toward and he held out his hand to me. “I’m giving you the chance to choose to come with me.”

  “Why would I go with you? Didn’t you just admit to killing me?”

  He held my gaze. “Yes, I did.”

  If Brent’s arm hadn’t circled around me, pressing my stomach to his back, I would have launched myself at Thomas.

  “I can understand you being upset about that.” He cracked his knuckles, then folded his arms behind his back. “You have to understand, I don’t like killing people. I’ve grown accustomed to it, but it’s never easy. Sometimes, though, it has to be done.”

  “So you have no choice in the matter, huh?”

  Judging by the way his face brightened he had missed my sarcasm. “Exactly. It’s a matter of survival. But I think your death, Yara, might be the last here.” He took a few long strides so he was mere inches from me. His borrowed brown eyes pleaded for understanding. “I’m not a bad person.”

  “No, you’re just a serial killer.”

  He looked past me and nodded before ducking his head. “I suppose I am. But I’m not a monster. I’m a prisoner just like you. You coming willingly will be of greater benefit to me. Please come with me, Yara— please join me.”

  The please caught me off guard and I almost missed Brent’s arms releasing me. He circled slowly behind Thomas and I kept my eyes on Thomas so he wouldn’t notice.

  Thomas’s gaze never left mine. “Will you come with me?” His voice was calm like what he suggested was perfectly acceptable.

  “No!” I shouted, my whole body trembling.

  “Fine— then I have a deal to make with Brent.” He turned his back on me and spun toward Brent who had paused mid-crouch, having been preparing another attack. “I can see you’re trying to play the hero here, but really you have no obligation to her. Do you realize that? I’m offering you a deal, Brent. I’m willing to give your body back and let you continue your square li— I mean boring life.”

  Brent lost his footing and struggled to right himself.

  “That’s right,” Thomas crooned, with the lure of a cobra who’s about to strike. “You’ll get your body back, your life back, and you won’t remember any of this. It will all be like it never happened. And to sweeten the deal, I’m even willing to let your brother’s soul go free.”

  Brent pushed to his feet. “Neal? You have him?” Brent’s eyes flickered with raw emotion and he stepped toward Thomas.

  “Wait!” I yelled, throwing my arms out and jumping in front of Brent. “You’re presuming that we believe that you have his brother. Well, we don’t believe it. His brother died years ago.”

  “Oh really?” He asked lazily, and I felt the air start to chill around me. Brent raised his hand as if to attack, but Thomas lifted his hand in warning. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you; you’ll want to see this.”

  Thomas stretched out his fingers and pointed them toward the ground. Inky dark drops leaked from his fingertips, creating a vapory coverage around him that started to froth and convulse as it darkened into the mist. With a twirl of his finger the mist spun. Was Thomas the body snatcher also controlling the mist? Faces started to appear inside of it, rolling in and out of sight, until a face that looked strikingly like Brent rolled to the front and began to solidify in form. The charcoal gray began to colorize, like a black and white photo fading into life, and a man I could only presume to be Neal stepped forward.

  Brent gasped. “Neal?”

  Brent’s brother wasn’t in heaven either— he was caught in the very nightmare that had taken Brent’s life, the thing that had nearly snatched me away when I died. Even worse, Neal didn’t look right; his face was expressionless, like a mindless zombie from an old horror movie. Knowing Brent, I could fill in how Neal might have acted in life: animated and full of laughter. Even in death I would have expected him to struggle and fight against the force that held him captive. To see him standing there like some sort of robot, without any will of his own, just waiting to be controlled, was unbearable. I spun around to see Brent’s reaction and instantly wished I hadn’t. His eyes were awash in tears, hollowed and empty.

  “A little family reunion.” Thomas sneered. “I can see you recognize him, so there shouldn’t be any more custodial questions. I’m offering to release both of the Springsteed brothers. Granted, your brother will be bodiless.” He shrugged. “But he’ll be free.”

  Brent’s face was pale and strained. “W-what would I have to do?” He whispered casting me a sidelong glance. A nervous trail of sweat formed between my shoulder blades and I fumbled backward a step.

  “Nothing,” he announced, and Brent’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “That’s it,” he continued, “do nothing. Just let me have her. That’s all.” The imposter flicked his wrist and a long black tentacle of darkness coiled around me. “Where are you trying to sneak off to?”

  I gulped hard. “I-I—”

  “What happens to her once you have her?” Brent started biting his nails.

  Thomas waved off his question. “None of your concern.”

  The black arm around me tightened and reached up, one finger stroking my cheek. My stomach twisted and I started to panic as I leaned away from the inky finger.

  “P-p-please, Brent. I know what it’s like to lose a brother, but don’t do this.” The serpentine arm tugged me closer to Thomas and I struggled against the mist, my legs flailing and my fingers pushing into the mushy darkness imprisoning me. The mist started to absorb me and flashes of agonizing suffering that weren’t mine forced themselves into my being. I screamed so shrilly my vocal chords strained to the point of breaking as the hopeless suffering of those trapped in the mist encroached on me. The fight left me, the defeated feeling of the others overwhelmed me, and I went limper than an overcooked noodle as I collapsed in the firm grasp of my enemy. A whimper escaped my throat, and tears traced down my cheeks.

  Brent’s hands were covering his ears but his eyes were locked on mine, swimming in indecision. It really wasn’t a hard choice. There really wasn’t a choice at all. Me, a girl he barely knew, or his brother’s soul and his own life.

  “Stop,” Brent said weakly, dropping to his knees. “Stop,” he repeated, louder and stronger.

  The imposter froze for a second in apparent shock. “You must be goofing. You would give up your life, give up your brothers soul, for her? Think carefully about the choice you’re making.”

  Brent nodded as he looked away from me. His troubled face was lined with creases as his sense of duty and his heart’s desir
e battled. “I understand,” he said quietly.

  The body snatcher considered Brent for a moment. “I’ll remind you I’m offering you what you want more than anything. In exchange I’m getting what I need. It’s a fair trade.”

  “I know,” Brent said, “and I’ll consider it. But I need time to think. I can’t decide right now.” Brent stood up, his body stiff. “Until I decide, don’t touch her. Let. Her. Go.” His voice was firm and he took a few brisk steps toward me.

  The imposter’s green-rimmed irises glowed like a cat, the deep jade brightening. “You’re going to want to accept my deal. I promise you, if you decline, it won’t end well for either of you, and I’ll still win. I don’t make idle threats.”

  Brent nodded. “I believe you.”

  The tentacle around me unwound and the emotional weight of the trapped souls that had been crushing me lifted as it slithered back inside Thomas’s body; at the same time, the mist seemed to lunge forward and swallow Neal back into it. Without a sound, it blew away, fading back into the darkness of the groves without disturbing any of the fallen leaves underneath it.

  Thomas bowed toward me. “You have twenty-four hours. I’ll be seeing you soon,” he promised.

  With that he turned and strolled away like he hadn’t a care in the world. Meanwhile my own world had grown even darker.

  ****

  Brent turned slowly and walked a few steps, keeping his back to me. Then he dropped to the ground, his shoulders slumping in defeat. Awkwardly, I took a few steps back from him, not sure how he felt about me. Or how I felt about him. He had put off his horrible choice for a time, but it would have to be made soon. I was the one thing standing in the way of his brother’s freedom. And his own life.

  Brent took a long time to look at me again but when he did, his grim expression hadn’t faded. He gave me a strained smile.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  He nodded.

  Could I be brave enough and selfless enough to be willingly handed over to the mist? Tears gathered in the corners of my eyes as I dropped my head and studied my feet as they kicked the dirt. I decided to at least pretend I was. “How do you want to handle the exchange?”