Tarnished

by Becca Jameson

  He grabbed for the door, but she didn’t budge. Her arm stretched out with his grasp, but her feet didn’t move.

  She bit her lip and lowered her gaze. “Could we not?”

  “Not what? Eat? Sure. What would you like to do? Anything but that stupid meat-market room. I can’t take that.”

  She lifted her gaze and gasped.

  Hell, he would march straight to that room and make friends with everyone in it if it meant that much to her. “Unless you wanted to go there. I’ll survive.”

  “No. It’s not that. It’s just that I called it the same thing you just did earlier today. A meat market. You surprised me. That place gives me the chills.”

  Relief flooded him. Thank God. She was officially off the market. No need to seek out entertainment of the available-wolves type.

  She still didn’t move forward. He stepped closer to her. When she didn’t protest, he cupped her cheek and tipped her head back. “Where do you want to go?”

  “Can we just not? I’ve had a rough day. I can’t face my family right now. I don’t even know why I came here at all.”

  “I’m glad you did.” He set his forehead on hers. She didn’t protest. Her scent burrowed under his skin. Into every pore on his body. Into his mouth. She made his heart race. He used every ounce of strength he didn’t really even possess to keep from taking her lips with his own. “Whatever you want.”

  The woman could lead him to the moon. He didn’t care as long as she held his hand and gazed up at him with those wide chocolate eyes.

  “Could we just stay out here? Or leave even? Do you think anyone would notice?”

  Leave? Fuck me. If he took her to his truck, could he keep from mauling her? Hell, yes. He could endure a lifetime of hard cocks if it was her wish. “I’m sure we could escape for a while. My family is more interested in the events than I am. They won’t notice me missing.”

  She exhaled, her breath mingling with his between them. Inches separated their mouths.

  And then she stepped back and turned away, her chest heaving for air as he watched her shoulders lift with each breath. Thank God I’m affecting her as much as she is me. It’d be hell if it weren’t equal.

  She pulled. He followed. It wasn’t in his nature. The woman had him under some sort of spell. He was a dominant alpha male through and through. Suddenly, this pixie of a woman, barely five feet three, had him by the balls. He was whipped. God. He’d never live this down once his brothers caught on.

  “Where’s your car?”

  Hey, at least he had one thing. Knowledge of the location of the vehicle. She couldn’t read his mind. “This way.” He nodded to the right and stepped in front of her. I’ll lead.

  She shook her hand free and tucked both sets of fingers into the front pockets of her jeans. When he glanced back at her, she shrugged. “The connection was sucking my brain cells out of my head.”

  He laughed. “True. I might actually be able to find my truck now.”

  God, her smile was mesmerizing. It lit up her whole face. Tiny dimples formed on each cheek. Her gaze narrowed. He wanted to see that every day for the rest of his life. Now all he had to do was figure out how to convince her to go along with that in the next two hours.

  He figured he could be gone that long without anyone missing him. And he’d treasure the moments alone with her.

  The only sound filling the otherwise silent parking lot was the gravel beneath their feet. Everyone had arrived by now and funneled inside. The sun shone bright, beating off the roofs of the cars to warm the air and make him squint.

  When they reached his truck, he opened the passenger door for her and helped her inside by gently holding her elbow. Her gasp at the contact matched his own elevated heart rate. Lord, when will that spark of electricity ease up?

  According to his parents, never.

  Drake shut the door and rounded the hood at warp speed. His woman was inside his truck, and he didn’t want to waste a moment with her.

  Chapter Three

  As soon as he started the ignition, he turned to face her. “Where do you want to go? I’m not familiar with this area at all. Are you staying close by?”

  “I live here.”

  “Oh, wow. That must be nice. Easiest commute ever.”

  “I hate it.” She wagged her eyebrows and smiled. “This is not my thing. The entire… Never mind.”

  He froze. What? What wasn’t her thing? Should he push her? He waited for her to say something else.

  “Could we just sit right here? Maybe talk?” She fiddled with the hem of her sweater as she spoke.

  “Of course. Anything you want.”

  “What if I don’t want anything?”

  That question was loaded. Proceed with care, Drake.

  “You are a conundrum, my dear.”

  She looked down at her lap. “Yeah, sorry.”

  It was getting hot in the cab. Drake flipped on the air conditioning and glanced at the gas gauge. Good. Half a tank. That was plenty.

  “I’ll start. Let’s see if I can read you correctly.” He waited a beat, but when she didn’t reject the idea, he continued. “You don’t like to come to these gatherings. I’m cool with that. I don’t either.”

  She nodded.

  “You are leery of men…”

  She raised both eyebrows and tipped her head briefly to one side in agreement. “Well, not all men, just wolf men.”

  “So, you don’t mind human men, but wolves… Those are scary?” He smiled. He didn’t feel it, and it didn’t match his light tone, but what the fuck?

  She sighed. “I don’t want a mate. It’s barbaric. Old world. The entire mating dance is such a crock.”

  Oh. This is worse than I thought. “Okay. So, you want a human man?”

  She shrugged. “I want no man, really. But human ones are easier to deal with. They don’t need as much … maintenance, in my opinion.”

  Whoa. I have my work cut out for me. Let the convincing begin. “Especially if they’re gay.” Fuck. I did not just say that.

  She flinched and leaned back. “That was a low blow. Unnecessary and the perfect way to substantiate my point.”

  “And what point is that?” Don’t get defensive, Drake. You’re treading on very thin ice on a steep mountain with a crest so far up you can’t even see it yet.

  She grinned as though she’d gained one up on him. “That wolf men have only one thing on their mind. Fucking.”

  Oh, God. This was getting worse. Right this minute, she was practically correct. He could hardly refute the need he had growing inside him. His cock had been rock hard since he’d bumped into her in the hall. Well, it might have shriveled a smidge at her declaration of detest, but only by a hair.

  Choose your words carefully…

  On the flip side, this mate of his may be in denial about their connection, at least verbally, but she was at least as aroused as he was, if not more. He could smell her pussy and repeatedly licked his lips in anticipation of the future when he would lick a path between her legs until she begged him to fuck her. Her words.

  Eyes on the prize, man.

  Instead of maintaining the banter that lead him down a path he would regret later, he decided to be serious and honest. But he’d drag her with him. “Okay. I can see you have reservations. That’s good. I wouldn’t want a mousy mate who followed me like a lost dog. I love your spunk and personality. Yes, I want you. There’s no denying that. My body reacted to yours two years ago even from a distance. And then again this morning in the hall. Sorry about knocking into you, by the way.”

  She nodded.

  “By now, I’m in a knot. My body has aligned itself with yours on every level possible with clothes on. However, I would never pressure you in any way. I will not force you to allow me to claim you. I respect women, especially female wolves, way more than any man you seem to have met in your life.”

  She interrupted. “I never said I had any bad experiences—well except for that Marcus guy from the la
st gathering—I just don’t want to succumb to the absurdly barbaric idea that two wolves are destined to mate and can’t control their hormones when they meet, that’s all.”

  “That’s all? Honey, that’s the entire package. It truly is that simple.”

  She looked out the window, shutting him out.

  “I didn’t believe it myself until about an hour ago, but there’s no refuting it now. And you can’t deny it, either. You’re so aroused you can’t sit still. I can smell you from here. Your pussy is soaking your panties right now. Right?”

  She gasped and scooted closer to the door. She was going to bolt.

  Fuck. If he could just shut up.

  He lowered his voice. “Please don’t run. Just … stay. Talk to me. I’m not that bad a guy. Contrary to what my lips may be demonstrating right now.” He tried for lighter, witty.

  “I’m wasting your time,” she told the window and the day at large. Her voice hovered above a whisper. “I don’t want this. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have led you on like I did. I—”

  “Couldn’t help it. I know.” He used all the willpower in his possession to keep from reaching for her. She was plastered to the door, her fingers wrapped around the handle.

  If he could just spend as much time with her as possible, maybe she would warm up to the idea. She might actually like him if she gave him a chance. He needed that chance. Right now he wasn’t convinced he’d ever get her back if she stepped out of his cab and walked away.

  Was the connection solidified enough? Could she deny him and go on with her life?

  “You make it sound so simple. I hate that. Detest it. Life isn’t simple.”

  “You’ve fought this notion a long time. Why?” He really didn’t understand. Sure, he too hadn’t wanted a woman. He loved being alone, having his own home. No one to answer to. No one to tell him what to do. No one to mess up his space.

  But the second Mackenzie Davis had stepped into his day, all that previous baggage had disappeared. Poof. Into thin air. He had no idea now why he’d ever thought his life was complete without a woman. Without Kenzie. Her smile. Her scent. Her hair. Her sexy body—albeit hidden under a bulky sweater.

  She didn’t answer. Did her parents have a rough relationship? It was unusual, but not unheard of. What had pushed her to this extreme?

  “I should go.” She didn’t move. Her knuckles were white with her grip on the handle.

  “Stay. Spend a little more time with me.”

  “Why?” She turned to him, releasing the door. “So you can convince me to let you fuck me by turning me into a pile of goo with your damn pheromones? No, thank you.”

  Wow. Jesus. She had some hang-ups. But at least she recognized what was happening. If she could verbalize her predicament that well, she was feeling as much for him as he felt for her.

  “Stay for entirely different reasons, then. Stay because you enjoy my company. Stay because you trust me to keep my hands to myself.” He held both palms in the air. “Stay to let me prove I’m worthy,” he muttered.

  “That’s just it. It doesn’t matter if you’re worthy. I don’t want this … thing.”

  She was scared. That was it. Frightened beyond belief.

  She whipped around and grabbed the door handle to yank it open. In moments, she’d jumped down from the cab and jogged away from him. He’d heard the catch in her voice, the near sob.

  It took every ounce of self-restraint he had to keep from going after her. It was exactly what she expected. That she wouldn’t have her own choices anymore. That she’d lose herself if she let him claim her. She was wrong. He adored her for who she was. He knew it even after only this brief time.

  He even respected her decision and her supposed choice to deny this mating.

  No. He had to let her go. For now. All he could do at this point was pray to every sort of god on earth that she wouldn’t be able to run very far or very fast before she caved. Preferably today, or at least tonight.

  If she went home and went to bed, would she be able to sleep? He knew he wouldn’t. His dick needed assistance in the worst possible way. It was going to be a long wait. Two minutes was too long to wait for Mackenzie. But he suspected his torture was going to last way longer than that.

  Please, gods of the universe, make her see the light before this weekend is over. I don’t think I can go home without her.

  — • —

  Mackenzie ran. She ran past the buildings, where she envisioned everyone laughing inside, reuniting with friends and loved ones, enjoying the weekend of finding new love and falling for their mates. She didn’t want that. Not now. Not ever. It was stifling. It sucked the air out of her lungs and the life out of her body.

  She ran toward the tree line at the back of the property.

  When she got to her destination, she glanced back. He hadn’t followed her. Nobody had. She was alone. Always alone. She sobbed. It was her own fault she was alone. This time and every other time. She didn’t need anyone. Did she?

  She stepped between the trees, already pulling her sweater off.

  Spotting a stump, she dropped her sweater and tugged off her shoes. Her jeans followed. In no time at all, she’d divested herself of her tank top, panties, and bra. It took only seconds to shift, and she tore into the woods at warp speed. There could be others out here. It wasn’t unheard of. After all, the entire area was swarming with shifters. But most were occupied with meetings and greetings. Few would come out to run in the middle of the day.

  Branches scraped through her fur, leaving behind twigs and leaves. She was tough skinned. Nothing would hurt her. She ran until she heaved for breath. In wolf form, that took a while. Several miles. When she finally stopped, she was at the top of a hill looking down. The view was breathtaking, and she sat on her haunches to gaze out across the lush spring landscape.

  What was happening to her? She hated the reaction she’d had to Drake. Ugh, even his name sent a chill down her spine. Why did he have to be so fricking sexy? He was built like a linebacker, not that she watched any football. What did he do for a living that kept him so fit? Or did he spend hours a day working out? His tanned skin and sun-bleached hair attested to the fact that he must work outside.

  She shook her head to dislodge him from her mind … to no avail. Even in wolf form, she still craved him. When he’d held her hand, she’d felt connected for the first time in her life with another being. And that both terrified her and pissed her off.

  And perhaps it also intrigued her, but she wasn’t going to admit that.

  She never should have gotten into his car. It hadn’t been fair to him or to her. All she’d done was make her resolve weaken and hurt his feelings. She’d not intended to be so rude, but she had no intention of being claimed by anyone.

  She hadn’t counted on it being so difficult to endure the rejection when faced with it. She’d honestly never visualized any sort of meeting ever occurring with a wolf that varied from either the experience of the last gathering with Marcus or the experience of the previous gathering, when she’d been nineteen and first vowed to remain single and strong-willed. She cringed at the memory and tipped her head toward the sunny sky to wipe the thought away.

  That hour of her life was never far from the surface, however. When would she be able to move on? When would she forget?

  Had the occurrence made her stronger, as she’d insisted on being? Or had she simply curled up into a shell and let herself die inside?

  No. She refused to believe that. She’d worked so hard for four years to ensure nothing like that ever happened to her. She refused to believe it had all been for naught. She was educated. Intelligent. Hard-working.

  That had to count for something. In the end, she would come out beautifully. But at what cost? Was it worth it? The loneliness? Keeping others at arm’s length?

  Stop. Stop doubting your decisions. The choice to remain single for life was made four years ago. Stick with the plan. It’s safer, and you know it.

  She sa
t for a long time, just enjoying the scenery. When the sun dipped lower in the sky and she judged the time to be late afternoon, she decided to head back. Would she run into Drake? Could she avoid him altogether and escape his penetrating gaze, his alluring smile, his warmth?

  The best plan was to go straight to the car and wait for her family there. They would be hours finishing up inside. And her mother would be pissed by her disappearance. But she wasn’t interested in what others thought. Self-preservation was her only concern.

  That and avoidance…

  •

  Drake leaned his head on the steering wheel and sighed. Where had she gone? What was she doing? How long could he leave her alone before he went after her? And then what? He couldn’t force her to mate with him. Hell, he’d never force anyone to do anything. If she was still dead set against him claiming her tomorrow evening, then there would be nothing he could do but let her go.

  He moaned. It would be painful.

  Give her tonight. Let her think on this. You know she’s attracted to you. She’s hurting. But, what had spooked Mackenzie Davis so much that she would run from the touch of her mate and deny their magnetism?

  He shivered to think of the possibilities.

  After pondering the effects of her refusal, Drake tried to clear his head and exited the cab. He had no interest in returning to the gathering inside. Instead, he stripped off his clothes, deposited them in the cab, and shifted into wolf form.

  No one else was milling about right then, but even if they were, there wasn’t anyone within a mile radius who would find it odd for a wolf to be running between the cars. It happened.

  As soon as he broke free of the open landscape and entered the tree line, he scented her.

  He skidded to a halt and tipped his head up to take a long slow whiff. Yeah, she’d had the same idea. Escape reality between the trees. Great. What should he do? The last thing he wanted was to make her think he was following her. She’d be furious.

  Nose to the ground, he easily found her pile of clothes where she’d left them on a tree stump. He groaned inwardly, picturing her peeling the items off one at a time until she stood gloriously naked for the moments before she shifted.