Captain of My Heart

by Giselle Lumas

  Chapter Ten

  After the reception Ray held my hand and invited me to take a walk with him. He guided me to the beach. We took off our shoes, and he rolled up the cuffs of his pants. We walked along the water’s edge, and occasionally our feet touched the water. There were only a few people on the beach. It was dark out but mystical. A cool breeze wafted through, and the stars were spectacular. The sound of the waves crashing calmed my nerves.

  “So,” Ray started, “I’d like to clear the air. Explain some things.”

  “Okay,” I agreed.

  “First, I’m sixty-two years old. How old are you?”

  “Thirty-two,” I answered.

  “And Kyra is how old?”

  “Thirteen. I had Kyra when I was nineteen. Dex and I were high-school sweethearts. I got pregnant the night of graduation.”

  “Are you okay with our age difference?”

  “It doesn’t matter to me,” I said.

  “Good.”

  “So…” His voice sounded surprisingly shaky. “This is hard for me. But I’d rather you hear it all from me. Anyone else will get it completely wrong.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  We continued to walk but slowed our pace. “About three years ago, I went to a bar after work. I had had a long shift and just wanted to grab a beer and go home. But, while I was there, I saw a gorgeous woman. She was a redhead with emerald-green eyes. She looked frazzled. I thought she was too beautiful to be so frazzled. I figured I’d talk to her and try to cheer her up. So we talked. She told me she thought her boyfriend was going to propose, and she didn’t know if she was going to say yes. She said she wanted to have one fling before she decided. So, being an idiot, I offered to be her one fling.” He shook his head, swallowed, then continued, “She was at my place when Junior stopped by the next morning.”

  “Oh,” I muttered.

  “He didn’t let me explain. I didn’t know she was his girlfriend. I didn’t even know he was dating anyone, so I definitely didn’t know he was planning to ask her to marry him.”

  “Oh, no!” I felt my heart break for them both.

  “He broke up with her and hasn’t talked to me since.”

  “And just so you know, I’m not a man ho—” He stopped walking and wiped a few tears from his eyes. He let out a little laugh, despite his breaking heart. “Cass, I love my boys more than anything. I loved Meredith, too. I would never do anything deliberately to hurt them. But I managed to hurt my Junior.” He shook his head. “I completely understand if you don’t want to see me anymore. I just hope you understand. It was a horrible mistake and a misunderstanding.”

  I reached up and held his cheeks in my hands, looking him in the eyes. “Ray, I understand. It’s okay.”

  “No.” He shook his head. “It’s not. My son hasn’t forgiven me.”

  “He will. Just give him time.”

  He shook his head again but didn’t say anything. I gave him a hug. He cried a little bit, then sniffed. “I’m not a wuss,” he said into my hair.

  “Nope, you are definitely not a wuss,” I said into his chest.

  “Thank you for listening.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  We held each other for a bit longer. Ray was the one to let go. “Let’s start walking back,” he suggested. We turned and headed toward the hotel parking lot.

  “How many siblings do you have?” I asked.

  “Two sisters. You?”

  “A brother. He lives in Georgia. So do my parents.”

  “Are you originally from Georgia?” Ray asked.

  “No, I was born and raised here in Southern Cali. My parents are from Louisiana but moved to California after they married. When they retired, they decided to go to Georgia.”

  He nodded. “Do you miss your parents and brother?”

  “Yep. It was really hard after the divorce. Aunt Annie was all I had out here.”

  “How would they feel about you dating me?”

  “They only want me to be happy. My parents really are open-minded. I sometimes wonder if they were hippies in the seventies.”

  Ray laughed. “The seventies were awesome.”

  I laughed, too.

  We reached the hotel parking lot and slipped our shoes on. “Cass…” Ray’s voice was husky.

  My heart felt full. “Yes,” I said in an equally husky voice.

  “I don’t want to take you home.”

  I shook my head and moved closer to him. We hugged again. “I don’t want to go home,” I whispered, looking into his eyes.

  He grinned.

  “You’re smiling like you believe you’re getting some tonight.” I laughed.

  “Yes, but I’m not the only one. You have that same look in your eyes,” he said.

  “Yep.”

  “How about we get a room here? I’ll even take you to breakfast in the morning.”

  “I haven’t been with anyone except Dex,” I blurted out. I felt ashamed for some reason. Maybe it was because Ray had obviously had multiple partners. I wondered just how many.

  “That’s good to know,” he said. He released me, then held me at arm’s length so he could look into my eyes. “I have had multiple partners over the years. I’ve been tested for everything and am clean, but maybe we should wait. I don’t want to pressure you or anything.”

  “I know we just met, and this is only our second date, but what I’m feeling…” I gulped. “I’ve never felt this before, Ray.”

  “Me, neither,” Ray admitted, then pulled me close to him again.

  “Ray.” I shivered.

  “Yes?”

  “Let’s get a room. I’m cold.”

  Laughing, he grabbed my hand and led us into the hotel lobby.

  Chapter Eleven

  We made love at least three times during the night and morning, and one more time before we checked out. I never knew I could have that many orgasms in one night. I didn’t know a man could be that well-endowed, either. Ray definitely knew what he was doing in the bedroom. I smiled for probably the gazillionth time. So did Ray. We were at a Waffle and Pancake House Restaurant. Ray ordered a farmer’s breakfast, which consisted of hash browns, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, and a biscuit. I had a huge stack of pancakes with bacon.

  “You wear that goofy smile on your face any more today, and people are gonna talk,” Ray said with his own goofy grin.

  I laughed. “So let them talk.”

  “Yeah,” Ray agreed, “let ’em talk.” We ate in a comfortable silence for a little while, then Ray asked, “What time do we need to pick up the kids?”

  “Max has to be picked up at eleven and Kyra at twelve,” I said.

  Nodding, he checked his watch. “Okay, we can finish eating, then take you home to change. We’ll stop at my place for a bit before we pick ’em up.”

  I agreed.

  Thirty minutes later we were at my place. I went into my room and took a shower. When I stepped out, Ray was naked wearing yet another goofy grin. We made whoopie again. I mean, how could I not? He was standing there at attention and ready to go. Then we went to his place, where he stepped out of the shower, I was naked, and we did the horizontal mambo.

  “Do you have any condoms left?” I asked.

  “A few,” he said. He yawned. We were stretched out on his king-size bed, snuggling.

  I yawned, too.

  He nudged me. “We better get up and dressed, or we will both fall asleep and then you’d be in trouble with your kids.”

  “Yep,” I said reluctantly. “Not to mention their friends’ parents.”

  “It’s good that you moved here at the beginning of summer. Now they have friends to hang out with when they go to their new schools.”

  “That was my method of thinking,” I admitted as I slipped back into my denim shorts and pink tank top.

  Ray rummaged through some of his dresser drawers and slipped on boxers, khaki shorts, and a plain white T-shirt.

  “I was glad Kyra adapted so quickl
y to the new dance class and instructor. She really hit it off with the kids. Max is a goofball and makes friends anywhere he goes.”

  “They are really good kids, Cass. You’re doing a great job.”

  I blushed. “Thanks.”

  An hour and a half later, both kids were with us in Ray’s truck. Max had fallen right to sleep as soon as he sat in his seat. He was most likely up into the wee hours of the morning horsing around with his buddies. Kyra, on the other hand, was a ball of energy. I wondered if she’d had something with a ton of caffeine before we picked her up. She was talking super quickly and was extremely animated. Her hands were flying every which way, and even though she was sitting behind me in the truck, she almost hit me a few times. She paused for a second, then shouted, “Oh!”

  Ray and I jumped in our seats at the unexpected outburst. It didn’t faze her in the least.

  “Mom! Guess what?”

  “Chicken butt,” Ray said and chuckled at his own joke.

  “Ew, what?” Kyra said.

  I laughed. “Ignore him,” I said, shaking my head. “What, Kyra?”

  “Our dance crew was selected to perform our hip-hop routine at the Beach City Fourth of July Celebration.”

  “Really?” Ray asked, surprised. “That’s an honor. They don’t allow just anyone to perform. They are very selective and picky. You know there are a lot of celebrities who live in Beach City, and they go to the events?”

  I turned to look at Kyra. Her eyes were wide, and she was jumping in her seat. “Really?”

  I groaned. I wished Ray hadn’t mentioned the celebrities. Kyra tended to have stage fright at the most random times, but add tons of people plus celebrities to the mix, and she might back out and let her friends down. Instead of worrying, though, I decided to stay positive. “Do we need to pick up anything? A costume or something?”

  She said excitedly from the backseat, “We are all going to wear baggy dark-blue shorts and white tennis shoes, and Jackie’s mom already had red tops. Oh, and I need to get a white baseball cap. We can decorate the cap if we want.”

  “Hey, you can ask my son Lucas to help you decorate your cap. He can probably spray paint your name in graffiti style,” Ray offered.

  “Really?” Kyra asked.

  I raised my eyebrows.

  “I told you, he’s artsy fartsy.”

  “He’s not going to be on his honeymoon?” I asked. “Fourth of July is next weekend.”

  Ray raised his eyebrows. “Is it? Already?”

  “Yep.”

  “Crap,” he said.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “As Fire Captain, I’m in charge of the fireworks. Palm Hills and Beach City combine their celebrations. I have to check-in with a few people and make sure we have what we need to put on a spectacular show.”

  “I’m sure if Max was awake he would have a gazillion questions for you about that,” I said.

  “Yep,” Kyra agreed from the backseat.

  “Oh,” I said as I realized, “so you’ll be too busy to hang out with me that day, huh?”

  “I’ll be there the whole day. I can still hang out with you. I’ll just be all over the place.”

  I frowned.

  On Friday, the Fourth of July, we arrived at the beach a little after eleven. Kyra was scheduled to perform at noon. The beach was packed, and parking was nearly impossible. We found a spot on a side street and walked for about twenty minutes. Both of the kids ditched me as soon as our feet touched the sand. I guess I should have been happy. They had made friends in the short time since we’d moved here. Me, on the other hand… not so much.

  Cathy saw me from a distance. She was sitting in a fold-up chair near a jewelry vendor tent. She waved for me to come over. I groaned but complied because, well, what else was I going to do?

  “Hi, Cass,” Cathy said with a big welcoming smile on her face. “How are you?”

  “I’m good. What about you?”

  “Good, too. I’m helping my cousin sell some of her jewelry pieces. Would you like to buy something for you and Kyra?”

  “Oh”—crap—“I wasn’t planning to buy anything but food and drinks today.”

  “Come and see,” Cathy encouraged.

  I glanced at some of the pieces. They were gorgeous. The beading was delicate and intricate. A brown beaded necklace with a small ballerina slipper charm caught my eye. “I think Kyra would love that one.” I pointed to it. I saw another necklace that had purple, green, and gold beads and a fleur-de-lis charm. It made me think of New Orleans. “Oh, and I will have to take that one, too.” I smiled.

  Cathy complimented, “Good choices.” She placed them in a small paper bag for me. I paid, then shoved the bag into my bootie bag. “So, are you bummed you can’t hang out with Ray much today?”

  I groaned.

  “Look, I’m sorry for butting into your business a while ago. I just really like you, and I don’t want to see you get hurt. You seem like a smart and strong woman. I guess you talked to him?”

  I nodded. I knew I wasn’t going to tell Cathy anything. She’d admitted to being a gossip, so why would I confide in her?

  “Well…” She paused, and then the question I knew she was going to ask came out. “What did he say?”

  I smiled. “Cathy, I really like you, too, but I can’t tell you that.”

  “Oh.” Her shoulders sagged. “I understand.”

  I nodded.

  “So are you two dating?”

  I thought about it for a bit, then just went for it. “Yep.”

  “Well, good for you,” Cathy said. “See, you are a strong woman. I don’t think I could do it. Date Ray. I mean, I could do him, but…” Cathy’s eyes widened and she covered her mouth. “Omigosh. I can’t believe I just said that out loud. I’m so embarrassed.”

  I laughed and placed a hand on Cathy's shoulder. “It’s okay, Cathy, really.”

  “Are you sure? He’s your boyfriend now. I don’t want to offend you.”

  “Not offended.”

  She let out a relieved sigh, then continued, “What I meant was, I wouldn’t be able to date someone like Ray in our town. It’s too small, and too many people try to get in your business. No one thinks the two of you should be dating. Ray could be your father or maybe even grandfather, for crying out loud.”

  I bit my tongue. “I could tell you how wrong you are, and spout a bunch of clichés about how age doesn’t matter, but I’m not going to. Why worry about what other people think? Who really cares? I know how I feel. Ray knows how he feels, and that’s all that matters.”

  Cathy’s eyes widened. She stared at me for a while “Good for you. Good for you.” She nodded.

  A new customer approached the tent and asked to see a necklace. “I see you’re getting busy. I’ll see you later.” I was grateful for the out.

  She nodded.

  I turned and ran smack into my ex-husband. Shock, disbelief, and then pure anger fueled inside me. “Dex! What are you doing here?”

  “Dad!” I heard from a distance. Max rushed toward Dex and leaped into his arms.

  “Hey, Max!” Dex shouted and lifted Max into his arms, kissing him on the cheek.

  I could see Kyra near the stage with a group of her friends. She looked my way. Her eyes grew round and her mouth dropped open when she realized her father was here. She immediately closed her mouth and clinched her teeth, squinting her eyes at him. Dex didn’t see the fire his daughter was directing at him.

  “Mel and I are visiting the Los Angeles area with some of her friends for the next couple of weeks. Max told me about Kyra’s performance, so I thought I’d stop by.”

  Traitor, I thought. I tried not to talk badly about Dex in front of the kids. I wanted them to have an open mind and not judge their father based on my thoughts and personal opinions. All I could do was nod.

  I heard someone clear his throat behind me, then felt big, familiar arms wrap around me. Ray kissed me on the cheek and asked, “Everything okay, Cass?�
�

  I melted in his arms. “Now it is,” I whispered.

  “Who are you?” Dex asked, still holding Max.

  “Ray,” he answered. Ray extended his right hand while holding me securely with his left. “And you are?”

  “Dex, Max’s dad.”

  Ray growled.

  “Did you just growl?” Max asked, confused.

  Both men ignored Max’s question.

  “Where’s Kyra?” Dex queried.

  I pointed to the stage. “Kyra’s with her friends. They will be performing in about twenty minutes.”

  Chapter Twelve

  A little before noon the next day, Ray appeared on my doorstep with a tape measure, clipboard, and pen. “Hey, babe,” he said, then puckered his lips.

  My heart tickled. “Morning.” I gave him a quick kiss on the lips. I opened the door wide to let him in. My body immediately craved him as he walked past me. I wanted to jump him right then and there and have my way with him.

  When I closed the door, he turned to face me. He stepped back for a second and had that twinkle in his eyes. “Whoa, get your mind out the gutter. Save those thoughts you’re having for later.”

  “Psst,” was the only sound I could come up with for denial.

  “I’m here to measure Kyra’s wall. I’d like to start on her desk and bookshelf.”

  I grinned. “Really?”

  “Of course. I said I’d help, so here I am. Is Kyra up yet?”

  “Yes, she’s playing video games with Max in his room.” I gestured for him to follow me.

  “Hey, guys,” Ray greeted the kids as we passed Max’s room.

  “Hey,” they said in unison, not breaking away from the game they were playing.

  When we reached Kyra’s room, he measured the wall where Kyra wanted her desk and bookshelves to be. Ray jotted down the numbers and started to sketch out his plans. I was impressed. I sat quietly on Kyra’s twin-size bed as he worked.

  Thirty minutes later the doorbell rang. Kyra called that she would answer it, then rushed to the door before I had the chance. Then the yelling began. “What are you doing here?”