Scar

by Baylin Crow

  Pulling up to the bar, the parking lot was mostly deserted. I hadn’t ever been here this early except for the morning that I had left before they were even open so I didn’t realize it would be so empty. After I parked, I went inside where the air was much warmer. I spotted a couple eating in one of the booths, but otherwise, the room was deserted except for Andi who was alone behind the bar. There weren’t enough people in here to miss Beard so unless he was in the back, he wasn’t working.

  Approaching the bar, Andi set down some paper she had been reading. “Hey there, Soccer.” I smiled at the use of Beard’s nickname for me. “Looking for ‘Beard’?” She used her fingers to quote, mocking our names.

  “Uh, yeah. He around?” I was nervous but only because I didn’t know what his reaction was going to be. I hadn’t turned on my phone until I was already on my way over here. There had been three unread texts from him, still unread because he wasn’t going to talk me out of coming.

  “He’s around.” She smiled and then glanced at the ceiling. I called the green light for what it was and went back outside, rounding the building and climbing the creaky stairs.

  The first time I knocked I got nothing, so I knocked a little louder.

  “What the fuck,” he mumbled on the other side. I heard his footsteps stall behind the door and knew he was looking out of the peephole, so I flashed my biggest smile, knowing it would look distorted on the other side.

  The door jerked open, and he crossed his arms, his face trying to convey his displeasure at my arrival. Well that was too damn bad because my eyes didn’t stay on his face for long. He had answered the door wearing nothing but a towel and water still dripping down his bare torso. The sight was straight out of my wet dreams, and I moaned inwardly.

  “What are you doing here, Soccer? I said not to come.”

  “I didn’t read your messages, so I had no idea, but I probably wouldn’t have listened anyway.” He was losing the battle of trying to keep a straight face, and his lip twitched.

  “You didn’t read my messages?” He looked a strange mix of confusion and amused.

  “Nope. There was no point. I’m pretty sure they went like, Soccer, don’t come over. It’s a bad idea. Blah Blah. Am I right?”

  “Something like that.” He smiled like he had done when he thought I couldn’t see him in the bar, but having that smile directed straight towards me was something else entirely.

  “Great! So we got that out of the way. Can you move over a little so I can come in?” I nudged him to the left.

  “Sure, come right in and make yourself at home.” I purposely chose to ignore the sarcasm but not the words because, hey, it was an invitation if I ever heard one.

  “Thanks,” I said, nearly laughing at the confusion written all over his face.

  Five

  Beard

  It was pretty obvious that Soccer had a problem when it came to following orders. Seeing him looking comfortable on my couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table was causing conflicting feelings. I liked seeing him in my space, but I also knew him being here was a big risk. He didn’t seem to care what anyone thought of him, but if he knew how hateful people could be, especially when they didn’t understand and weren’t willing to be accepting, he might feel a lot different.

  Either way, he was in my apartment now, so I needed to face this problem head on. I chose to sit myself on the couch on the opposite end of where he had chosen to take up camp. What was supposed to be a scolding came out as a defeated sigh.

  “What is it you want from me, Soccer?”

  Soccer, either not sensing my exhaustion over resisting this pull I had for him or ignoring it, like he seemed to be good at, waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “The same thing you want, I would imagine. Only I’m not hiding it. I want you in any way I can have you,” he stated bluntly.

  “I already told you that it isn’t going to happen. Why won’t you just let it go?” I slumped back into the leather cushion.

  “If I really thought you didn’t want me here, then I wouldn’t have come.” He stood and walked slowly over to me. He spread my legs, reminding me that I had answered the door wearing only the towel that I had rushed to throw on in the middle of showering when he kept knocking. Seeing Soccer at the door shouldn’t have surprised me, but it had, and now I was sitting in front of him half naked. Fucking perfect.

  My widened legs caused the towel to spread just enough that I knew he could see my inner thighs. His eyes trailed up the length of my legs. I didn’t know what parts of me were on display because I couldn’t take my eyes off of his lust filled face. My resolve was quickly crumbling around me, and there didn’t seem to be any way to stop it.

  Blood coursed down to my cock, and it began to rise, lifting the towel further. His eyes snapped up towards mine. “Still going to try and deny it?”

  I didn’t respond because what was there to say? The evidence was pointing right at him.

  Placing his hand on either side of my face, he leaned it. I readied myself for his lips to touch mine but he deviated his path at the last second leaving me wanting but not for long. His lips pressed open-mouthed kisses on my neck, and I leaned to the side giving him better access. He whispered my name while trailing a wet path with his tongue to my ear and bit the lobe gently, giving it a soft tug.

  “I want to touch you.” His breath tickled my sensitive ears, and my hips shifted causing my bare inner thighs to brush again the soft mesh of his shorts.

  “You are touching me,” I reminded him.

  “No, Beard. I want to really touch you.” I groaned feeling his lips move down to taste my neck again.

  “I want to touch you here,” he said placing a hand on my thigh while still propping himself up with the other against the top of the couch. His hand on my leg made me ache for him to move higher. Without disappointing me, his hand glided towards my pulsing need, stopping several inches short. My panting breaths grew louder in the otherwise silent room. “I want to touch you here, too.” His breathing started to match my own, and I reveled in the fact that he wanted me, enough to ignore my many attempts to keep him away. His large, yet surprisingly soft hands kneaded the flesh there before moving again further underneath the towel until it disappeared completely. “But I need to touch you here.” Without hesitation, he wrapped his fingers around my shaft and my hips jerked violently upward through his grasp when he squeezed tighter. There was nothing I could do to stop this now. I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything.

  Lost in sensation, I turned my head and captured his mouth, praying to anyone who would listen that he’d let me in. His mouth opened to accept the fire he had ignited in me, and I fucked his mouth with my tongue at the same pace my hips bucked through his grip around me. Fierce and wild, I explored the mint-flavored cavern of his mouth and he moaned in response.

  Stopping suddenly, he pulled away and let go of my cock. I had been so close to coming it hurt when he released me. I didn’t know how to play this game, but he had finally gotten me where he wanted me and was going to leave me aching. There was no way I could take it, so I ripped open my towel the rest of the way and took myself in my own hand. I only got in a few pumps before he moaned. “That’s so fucking hot, but you have to stop.”

  “No,” I panted still working myself.

  He dropped to his knees between my legs and my eyes went wide. “Yes,” he demanded, grabbing my hand and pulling it away. I could only stare as he bent his head down and drug his tongue up the underside of my cock. He must have sensed my desperation because the next second he swallowed my cock, taking me to the back of his throat.

  “Jesus Christ,” I hissed. My hands found the back of his head as he sucked and licked. I wanted to hurry him up because I needed to come badly, but I didn’t know how he’d respond. He pulled his mouth off of me only to make me crazy. I snapped when he wrapped his lips around me once again. Lifting my hips, I thrust in and out of the wet heat until I couldn’t hold back anymore.
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br />   “I’m going to come,” I warned through gritted teeth. Instead of pulling away he hummed and used his tongue on my tip. I cursed over and over unable to keep my eyes open. Gripping his hair tight, I exploded in his mouth with his name on my lips. My cock pulsed one last time as he milked the last of my orgasm. My body went slack from the biggest release I had ever had. When he let me slip from his mouth, I braved opening my eyes. He stood looking down at me with hooded eyes.

  “That was the absolute sexiest thing I have ever seen.” There was no doubt in my mind that he believed it. His body was tense with desire, and I looked down to see he was still clearly worked up. His shorts were tented, and I could tell he was well endowed. Instantly nervous, I didn’t know what I was supposed to do or say now. I had only been intimate with one man before Soccer, and that had turned into my ruin. I wondered if my inexperience would turn him off. He probably thought I knew how to please him, but he would be dead wrong. As far as sex went, I was probably one of the least experienced people at twenty four. The scar that literally ran deep from my first experience had kept me away from the things that could hurt me again, and now I had to worry for Soccer too.

  “Soccer,” I started, looking back from his bulge to his face. “I, umm…” He cut me off by placing a soft kiss on my lips. I had never been more thankful for him ignoring whatever I was saying.

  “I’ll be right back,” he said and turned to the hallway. Since the apartment was small, I heard when the door to the bathroom closed. I used the time to grab and dress in a pair of sweatpants before sinking back on the couch. He had only been gone for a few minutes when he reappeared looking flushed, and his shorts hung normally once again.

  Feeling embarrassed that he had to take care of himself, I got up to fill a glass of water. I knew my face was red because I could feel the heat in my cheeks. “Do you want something to drink,” I offered because I could at least give him that, I thought grimly.

  I hadn’t heard him move, but he was there, pressing his front to my back, wrapping his arms around my middle. “I just had something, remember,” he teased, and I relaxed hearing that he sounded like his normal playful self.

  I turn my head to see him smiling against my shoulder. “I’ll always remember that,” I told him, meaning it. His grin deepened causing his dimple to come out. I turn in his arms and zero in on it and placed a kiss there like I had always wanted to do and told him as much. He hadn’t stopped smiling, and I felt the unfamiliar tug on my cheeks when I couldn’t help but return it.

  “I don’t want to leave. I really, really don’t want to leave,” I corrected, “but I need to get downstairs and check on things.” Not sure whether I should offer for him to stay, or even if I was ready for that, he rescued me once again.

  “Ok,” he said while pulling back and my body missed his immediately. “I’m going to come down for a beer if that’s alright, and then I gotta get back. I have a paper to write.” His nose scrunched.

  I blew out a breath of relief. “Ok, give me a second to get dressed, and we’ll go down.”

  When he smiled devilishly, and I realized my unintended innuendo, I added, “To the bar, perv.” His laughter rang down the hall, smooth and so easy and I was jealous of anyone who’d ever gotten to hear it.

  ---

  My hand felt natural on Soccer’s lower back as we made our way down the stairs to the graveled parking lot. Judging by the look in his eyes when he looked back at me, I thought maybe he liked it as well. As foreign as the feeling was, I could only settle on contentment when trying to define it. When we turned the corner, I hadn’t even been thinking, still lost in the world where it was just the two of us. An older woman that I recognized from her frequent visits to the bar looked over at us with an accessing gaze. I released him immediately, and when he laughed, his whole face lit up.

  When we walked in, there were a few looks from customers, but none lingered, so I relaxed marginally until I caught Andi’s eyes on us. Her mouth formed into a perfectly surprised “oh.” I shot her a look, and she masked her face.

  Soccer grabbed a stool as I rounded the corner behind the bar. I handed him the same draft he had asked for the night before and turned to Andi who had a curious look on her face. “Have you been busy?” I asked her.

  “Not really. Though I think maybe someone else was.” She really was asking for it.

  Soccer choked on his beer and Andi sent him a wink. When he recovered, he looked at me. “I like her,” he said.

  “I don’t,” I said and Andi elbowed me in the side. I glared at her. “I really should fire you.”

  “Probably,” she agreed. “But you won’t because you like me too much.” She was teasing, but I remembered the look on Soccer’s face when he had seen her hand on my arm, so I darted a quick glance in his direction, preparing to defend myself. There wasn’t any need to though because he seemed to be enjoying our little spat.

  “Get back to work,” I grumbled. The sun had long since gone down, and things had started to pick up so I couldn’t walk Soccer out the way I wanted to when he got up to leave. He did manage to scrawl a quick note on a napkin, and I snatched it before anyone else could get ahold of it. It was just a quick note saying he was going to call tomorrow and that I better answer. I felt the air behind me move and looked over my shoulder to see Andi on her toes, trying to peek at my note.

  “Has anyone ever explained privacy to you before?” I asked, folding the napkin and putting it in my pocket.

  “What? It’s not like you tell me anything, so I have to be nosy.”

  “No, actually you don’t. If there’s anything to tell, I’ll let you know.” No, I wouldn’t.

  “Whatever. Fine, be all private and broody, but seriously that man is hot.” She fans her face.

  I don’t bother to acknowledge her because, yes, he was. Enough to make me throw all reason out of the window apparently. “Get back to work.”

  It had been busy enough that I couldn’t dwell on what had taken place today, but when it wound down for the night, instead of my mind going back up to that apartment, I was hit with a sudden sense of worry. Not just for myself anymore, but for Soccer as well. If anyone found out about us, this could get really bad for him. I didn’t know if he’d even thought about the consequences, especially being surrounded by a bunch of athletes on a regular basis. The more I thought about it, the more I decided I need to end things before it got any further and I couldn’t turn away. I realized that I would be sending mixed messages, but I just couldn’t think of any other way to do things.

  When I climbed the stairs that night, it was with a new determination to keep him at arm’s length. Only this time there was a new sense of loss I hadn’t had before. He had shown me a brief glimpse of what life could be like if everyone else would mind their own damn business but I’d do anything to protect him, even if it made me completely miserable.

  Six

  Soccer

  He was ignoring my calls and texts. When I left last night, I was sure we had turned a corner. How could I not? Now I had no idea what was going on in his head. I had to consider the idea that he would never be comfortable enough to let go and enjoy what we obviously had between us. I couldn’t even suggest things between us just be for fun because I already had a certain amount of feelings for him from watching him over the last year, and I knew without a doubt the more I got to know him, the more I would want from him. The problem was that I didn’t know where he’d draw the line. I was never going back in the closet, and if he chose to stay there, then there wouldn’t be a future between us.

  I had a moment where I considered just leaving him alone. If and when he decided hiding wasn’t making him happy, he would find me, but then I’d remember last night and watching him fall apart and then the way he had touched me after with so much care, I knew I hadn’t imagined it. If I tried hard enough, I could still feel his touch and taste him in my mouth. With that thought in mind, I decided not to give up. Not yet anyway.

  Eve
n on days that we had off from practice I still usually put in a five mile run to keep my muscles loose. I was practicing harder than ever, pushing myself further, knowing I needed to be at the top of my game for the math this weekend. The last thing I needed was a distraction like Beard when I had a whole group of people counting on me. The problem was that I couldn’t seem to stay away from him. I didn’t even want to.

  Before I gave it any more thought and talked myself out of it, I was in my car and on the way to the bar, blowing off the run I had planned to take through the park. Like yesterday, because it was still pretty early, the place was dead and only a few cars were parked in the lot. I knew Beard parked in the back so it wouldn’t be outside and decided to check the bar first.

  When I walked in, my new best friend, Andi, was talking to another guy that I hadn’t seen before. She saw me coming, and a warm smile graced her face.

  “Heya, Soccer.” She leaned across the bar and grabbed my arm. “This is our new recruit, Jackson. Jackson this is Soccer. Jackson will be working the bar with me so I thought I should introduce you two.”

  He lifted a brow in my direction. “Your name really Soccer?” He asked skeptically, and I laughed.

  “Uh, no. It’s just a nickname.” He nodded and went in the opposite direction when someone approached the bar.

  “First day and he already looks like he belongs,” I mentioned, watching how he moved with the ease of being familiar behind the bar. I wondered if Beard would still be working or not.

  “Yeah, we were lucky to bring him on board. Beard has been looking for someone for a few weeks now. He was burning himself out working all the time,” she sighed.

  “Speaking of Beard, he here now?”

  “No, actually he’s not. Want me to tell him you stopped by?” She was a shit liar. In all the times I had been here, I’d never seen her look so uncomfortable, but the way she was fidgeting and the pink tinge to her cheeks told me she was definitely nervous.