by Ivy Smoak
“Well, maybe I just picked the lock.”
My breath caught in my throat. Crap. He knew. I had been so consumed by my scheming that I'd forgotten about what I'd done. “Ben, I’m so sorry. But your basement door was the only thing that was locked. Obviously that’s not an excuse. At all. But I couldn’t not try to get in. I…”
“Addy, it’s fine. You told me your secret. It’s only fair that you know mine.”
“Right.” I didn’t know his secret, though. I hadn’t successfully broken into his basement. But he didn’t know that I didn’t know his secret. And I was dying to know what it was.
He had a strange expression on his face. Curiosity maybe. It’s like he was waiting for something.
A chill ran down my back. What if me “knowing” was a bad thing? What if he was here to kill me? I was about to tell him the truth, when he started to speak.
“We definitely need to talk about all this,” he said and gestured to the stuff on the coffee table. “And about how there’s tons of boxes packed up in the kitchen. But I think we should address the elephant in the room first. Addy, I’m so, so sorry.”
“Well…you should be sorry.” Possibly? “Thank you for apologizing.”
He lowered his eyebrows. “Addy, you overreact to everything. How are you not upset with me right now? And how have you played it so cool for the last few days? I didn’t even know that you knew until this morning.” He pulled out the broken bobby pin from his pocket and tossed it next to the staple gun on the coffee table.
I was supposed to be upset? What the hell was his secret? “Of course I was upset…at first. I mean, you lied to me about…” What? Or had he lied at all? What was I even saying? “About everything,” I said. Maybe?
“Not everything.” He grabbed my hand in his. “I never lied about us. My feelings for you are real.”
My heart was racing uncontrollably. He was lying about something, but not his feelings. Who cared about the rest? I had been lying to him the whole time too. Sometimes there was bliss in lies. We could still be happy. We could still have a future.
“I wasn’t supposed to get involved with you, obviously.”
Obviously. No sane person would. But I still had no idea what he was getting at here. And I wasn’t sure I even wanted to know. “Ben, it’s fine. I forgive you.” I patted his knee. “Let’s watch the rest of the movie. Actually, let me rewind it.” I grabbed the remote off the coffee table. “I don’t want to miss anything important.” I leaned my head against his shoulder.
“It’s fine? None of this is fine.” He shifted away from me. “I should have figured it out by now. Before he was able to do this to you.” He touched the side of my face.
“What does this have to do with him?”
He just stared at me. “Everything.”
It was as vague as my answer about what he lied about. “Ben, I asked you not to look into him. That it was dangerous. What are you doing? You’re going to get us both killed.”
“I’m doing my job. I’m trying to crack this case before he strikes again.”
His words settled around me. Maybe he was the insane one. “You’re a landscaper, Ben.”
He laughed. But his laugh quickly died away when he saw my face. “Did you not see my basement?”
“Not exactly. The bobby pin snapped. My phone was missing so I couldn’t look up how to pick a lock. So I was kinda just guessing how to do it. And I couldn’t figure it out. I never got down there.”
“You just…” He ran his hand down his face. “You just flipped me.”
“Sure?”
“You flipped me without even realizing it.” He leaned back. “Jesus, Addy. You should be freaking CIA.”
I laughed. “Or maybe you’re just terrible at your job. Whatever that is. Look, Ben, I don’t know exactly what’s going on, but it’s probably best if I don’t know. Right? And I have a really busy day. So let’s just watch this movie and then get the house set up…”
“Addy we’re not Home Alone-ing your husband. I have a few days left to get the evidence I need. He’s planning on a move right? I saw the boxes.”
“But, Ben, I have it handled.” I pointed to the movie. “I was hoping you could help me set up a few things, but I have the general idea. He’s not going anywhere. He’ll be dead by Wednesday night.”
“Addy, you don’t understand. Your husband is a very dangerous man.”
“You think I don’t know that?” My eyes had welled up with tears. I quickly blinked them away. “Ben, I know that better than anyone.”
“This is bigger than you. I’m not trying to diminish what he’s put you through. I want to kill him myself. But, Addy, it’s bigger.”
“It’s not. He’s an insurance collector. He…”
“Do you really think that’s true? That’s not even a real job title.” He pulled out his phone and typed something on it. “This is your husband.” He handed me his phone.
He had pulled up an article. About a serial killer that they had dubbed “The Doctor.” I didn’t need to read it. I got the gist from the headline.
“Don’t you have anything to say?” Ben asked.
“You think this doctor fellow is my husband?”
“Yes. I’m 99 percent sure it’s him.”
“What a ridiculous name,” I said with a laugh. “My husband is too stupid to be a doctor. He barely got his bachelor’s degree.”
“That’s all you have to say? Addy, this is serious.” He tapped his phone. “He’s killed over 20 people and left zero evidence. The man’s a freaking ghost. He’s untraceable. A tiny breadcrumb led me here, but I have nothing. And we’re running out of time. He’s about to disappear. Again.”
“And who are you, Ben Jones?”
“I’ll tell you everything if you promise to help me.” He put his hand out for me to shake.
I knew my husband was a killer. I had seen it with my own eyes. And I knew exactly what he did as an insurance collector. I wasn’t sure I could help Ben become 100 percent positive though. There wasn’t any evidence in our house or on his computer. I had looked. Of course I had looked.
But the safe. I didn’t know what was in the safe. Maybe Ben could break into it. It could have what he was missing.
“If I help you, he’ll go to prison?” I asked.
"Yes. And not just for a few years for domestic violence. For life. And depending on the laws of the places where he did the murders, he could get the chair, Addy.”
I looked at the items on the coffee table. That plan seemed complicated. This new plan seemed easy. I could just sit back and relax while Ben broke into the safe. I liked uncomplicated things.
“You’ll answer any questions I have?”
“Yes.” He lifted his hand again.
This time I didn’t hesitate to shake it. I had just freed up my next two days to finish packing.
Chapter 39
I looked down at our intertwined hands. It seemed too good to be true. I slid my hand to his wrist and pinched him.
He jerked away from me. “What was that for?”
He is real. I had been putting off doing that for awhile because I was scared I was imagining him. Or am I supposed to pinch myself? I pinched myself too just in case. It hurt. It didn’t wake me up from a coma or anything, though. “I just wanted to make sure this was really happening.”
He stared at me incredulously as he rubbed the inside of his wrist. “My feelings for you are real. I didn’t lie about any of that.”
I was glad he had misunderstood me. I was testing to see if he was actually real. As a person. Not his feelings. But I was glad to hear him say his feelings were real. Because mine were too. There was so much else to ask him, though. I could finally get answers to all the questions I had. I knew exactly what I wanted to ask first. It’s all I had wanted to know for days. “Did you go on a date with Sally Ann?”
“That’s your question?”
“My first question. You said you’d tell me everything I
wanted to know.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “No, I didn’t go on a date with someone else. I’ve told you that I liked you. I spoke with her once over the phone to let her know I was seeing someone.”
Seeing someone? I smiled to myself. We might actually work. By Wednesday, the man who had ruined my life would be gone. Maybe sooner. And I could actually have a real chance at happiness. I didn’t even care that I didn’t deserve it. “That’s all I really care about,” I said.
He shook his head, like he didn’t believe me. “Look, I’m just going to put it all out there from the beginning. I need to get it off my chest.”
“If it makes you feel better.”
He gave me that same dubious look. “A little over three years ago I got this case about The Doctor. We had nothing to go on. We were chasing a ghost. But then about six months back we got a lead. Some internet blip unscrambled whatever firewalls were on the killer’s computer. We were able to get a general location. A block of houses in this neighborhood. I’ve been here undercover ever since. I’d like to add that it was my job to talk to everyone. Charlotte is one of the most annoying people I’ve ever met in my life.”
“I know!” I was aware that I was focusing on the unimportant revelations. But they were the parts that mattered to me. Everyone had secrets. Nothing Ben said would make me change my opinion of him. “She’s the absolute worst.”
He smiled. “I’m still kicking myself that I didn’t know about those stupid civic association meetings. It would have been easier to meet everyone.”
“Let’s actually rewind for one second,” I said. I had finally heard something important to fixate on. “You mentioned that the killer lives in one of the houses near here. Why do you think it’s this one?”
“Something you said tipped me off initially. You were talking about your marriage certificate. How your husband’s last name didn’t match his parents’ last name. Whenever we’re close to catching him, he disappears. He must be changing his name. Do you have a copy of the marriage certificate? It could really help. I looked through some of the files downstairs…”
“You did?” I thought he had kept his eyes closed. My heart rate accelerated.
“I wasn’t joking when I said it looked like a serial killer’s basement. I was trying to get a read on your reaction when I said that.”
It felt like all the wind had been knocked out of me. “Were you using me to get to him?” I wanted to believe that he liked me. But the circumstances had just changed. Of course he was using me. He was freaking using me right now. I bit the inside of my lip.
“No. Never. I did need to talk to you just like I needed to talk to everyone on this street. It was lucky that you came to me. But I didn’t use you to get to your husband. He’s the only person left I haven’t spoken with. And when we met, I wasn’t even sure if the killer was a man or a woman.” He pressed his lips together. He looked so guilty.
“You thought I might be the killer?”
“It was a possibility…”
“When did you change your mind about me? Before or after we kissed?”
“Honestly?” he said with a sigh. “Not until after. And I’m sorry that…”
“You’ve been manipulating me this whole time, Ben! If that’s even your real name.”
“It is. But my last name is Harlow, not Jones.”
Benjamin Harlow. I knew he had a cool name. Ben Jones had never fit him right. Ben Harlow. Adeline Harlow.” I liked it. Damn it. Again, I was focusing on the wrong things. “So what? You thought if you could get in my pants I’d tell you I was a crazy murderer?”
“That wasn’t…”
God, I was such an idiot. This whole thing was a game. He was playing me right now.
“I know you’re not a murderer. It’s my job to be suspicious. Addy, look at me.”
I hadn’t even realized that I was staring out the window. I turned back to face him. He looked genuinely sorry.
“I know you wouldn’t hurt anyone.”
But my husband would. Neither one of us had to say it out loud.
I cleared my throat. I hated the awkward tension in the room. “Does this have anything to do with the fact that you stole my shoe?”
He laughed. “I didn’t steal it. I confiscated it for evidence.”
“I knew it!”
“But before you get upset, everyone on the block is missing a shoe. I even swiped one of your husband’s. The killer’s been slipping up recently. Ever since we’ve pinned his location down. A shoe print was found at the scene of the crime of one of the last murders.”
“Was there a match?”
“No. Unfortunately not.”
I guess he wouldn’t have needed my help if there had been. “Is there anything else I should know about? You know…that you did to investigate me?”
“A few things, yeah. Just try to put yourself in my shoes for a second. I think you’ll see that I deserve the benefit of the doubt.”
“Okay.” I could tell it was going to be bad.
“Nothing major. I went through your trash to see what pills you were on. I took images of your fingerprints when you were sleeping because there were none in the database. I went through your purse and I’ve run a DNA test. I did a thorough analysis of your phone and called all of your contacts to make sure they were legit. Before we set up the cameras, I was spying on you with those binoculars you saw at my house. And I did have a key made to your house. This wasn’t the first time I’ve been here without you knowing.”
I stared at him. “Is that all?”
“Oh. And the Advil I gave you were actually pretty strong sleeping pills so that I could snoop around your house.”
“What the hell, Ben? I’ve been taking those non-stop.” No wonder I keep feeling so tired.
“When I realized that, I switched them out. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were still taking the ones I gave you until I saw them on the surveillance cameras. I assumed you’d swap them out for the ones you liked.”
I thought about the bottle on my nightstand. How it had changed. “Did you find anything interesting when you were snooping around?”
“Nothing but the files. And that safe. What’s in it?”
“I have no idea. But I think it might contain the evidence that you need. I asked my husband about it and he was really evasive. And he was down there all weekend.”
Ben shook his head. “I can’t believe I didn’t get any footage of him. I think he was on the screen when you taped the lenses, but you can’t really make it out.”
“Sorry about that.”
“Not as sorry as me.” His eyes traveled to the bruise on my jaw. “I didn’t see any photo albums or anything around. If you could give me a picture we could run it in our system. Maybe stop him before he strikes again.”
“I don’t have any photos.”
“None?”
I shook my head. “He’s weird about having his picture taken. And I don’t…I didn’t…” I let my eyes meet his. “Why would I ever want to look at his face when he was away?”
“This will all be over soon, Addy. We’re close. I can feel it.”
“What is it exactly that you do? I mean, who do you work for?”
“The FBI.” He sighed. “You weren’t supposed to learn my real identity. My cover’s been blown. Technically I should call this in. I should pack everything up and let someone else finish this.”
I bit the inside of my lip. “Please don’t leave me, Ben.”
“I’m not going to. We’re going to bring this son of a bitch down together.”
I glanced toward the coffee table strewn with murderous tools.
“Not that way, Addy.” He grabbed my hand. “The right way. You never answered me. Do you have a copy of your marriage certificate?”
“No. The last house we lived in burned down. We lost everything.” Maybe that’s what happened to my box. I couldn’t actually picture it in this house. Was it really that long ago that I
had given up hope of him going to jail? The thought was numbing.
Ben lowered his eyebrows slightly. “The files downstairs are dated as far back as five and a half years ago…”
“They’re copies. I don’t know if he has a storage unit somewhere or what. But they aren’t the originals.”
He nodded. “Do you remember his parents’ last name? That would be a good place to start.”
“I’m sorry. It was so long ago.” It was on the tip of my tongue. God, why couldn’t I remember? “He’s had me on a lot of pills. They’ve messed with my memory.”
“Your plan to kill him is awfully tempting.” He didn’t laugh.
And I was happy for the moment. Because I knew he wanted to protect me. In that one line, I knew how much he cared.
Ben shook his head and sighed.
Maybe having so many secrets wasn’t the best policy. If he liked me, he needed to accept me. He needed to fight for me. It was possible he could even help me get out of the mess I was in. “I’m not insane.”
“I never said you were.” He put his hand on my knee.
“No, I know. But…everyone else does. My husband had me declared legally insane after an incident several years ago.” I ran my thumb along the lines on my wrist. “The state took away all my rights. That’s why he keeps all the files. To prove I’m incapable of making my own decisions. To keep me doped up on meds. To keep anyone from believing me.”
“It’s okay. I believe you. And a court is going to believe your word over a serial killer's.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. But it’s more complicated than that.” Just rip off the Band-Aid, Adeline. “We have an unspoken arrangement. I keep his secrets and he keeps mine.”
“What secrets?”
I wanted to tell him. I really did. But something prevented the words from coming out. Fear. Shame. I swallowed down the lump in my throat. Do it. Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes. “I don’t even know where to start. I’ve done something terrible Ben. I’ve tried so hard to forget.”
He squeezed my hand. “It’s okay, Addy. Whatever it is, I can help. We’re going to fix this mess that your husband made for you. We’ll figure all this out together. You have my word.”
