Chosen Heart (The Hart Series)

by Stewart, Ann

  “How was work today, Ely?” he asks genuinely, patting my knee.

  “Fine, Cole,” I sigh at his touch, knowing it means more to him than it does to me. Even though I know it doesn’t mean anything, I don’t want to waste any time, and shrug off his gesture.

  “I know, I know…no small talk. Fine, let me get to why I came over. I saw a picture of your V.P. and thought it was quite peculiar that he was so young.” Why in the world would he be looking at pictures of my V.P.? Hmm…I wonder where these pictures are? Google? Something to keep in my mind for later…

  “So, I thought I would do some digging. At age thirty, he’s massed one of the largest clientele, and rose from mail room clerk to not only V.P., but Senior V.P. in only eight years. You don’t think that’s strange? It’s nearly impossible to climb up the corporate ladder that high, that fast, Ely.”

  “Ok, he’s young. So what? I knew that just by looking at him. And he’s motivated. Again, so what?” Shit…he is young! I really hadn’t thought about it, but I know Arianna wouldn’t put someone in charge that wasn’t capable.

  “He’s the youngest V.P. in the history of Salerno Health. Maybe, even the youngest ever.” I knew he was smart! Damn it, Cole. Now, more than ever, I feel the object of my obsession slowly waning out of my reach.

  Rolling my eyes, I move my hand in a gesture that says move it along. “Okay, Okay…There is something else. You need to stay away from him, El. He’s dangerous.”

  “Dangerous how?”

  “I dug up his record and most of them are sealed, but apparently he beat the crap out of some guy; bad enough that he ended up in the hospital.”

  I remember thinking he could be trouble, but never thought he would be anything more than sexually dangerous. I’m astonished. He doesn’t seem like a violent person, at all. There were those scars on his knuckles, Ely. Don’t ignore the signs, you should know better by now.

  “What does any of this have to do with me, Cole?”

  “I just think you need to know the type of man you’re staying late with. I want to make sure you’re safe. You know I’ll always be concerned for your safety,” exasperated, he pauses to look down at his empty hands. “You’re not the best judge of character. So I figure if I’m warning you in advance to stay away from him, maybe you’ll make better decisions and be smarter this time. I won’t always be there to protect you.”

  Asshole!

  Staring at each other, I feel the blood beginning to boil under my skin. How dare he treat me like an ignorant child. I know I’m not always street savvy, and in my past I’ve been naïve to trust others, but I’ve changed since college. I’ve learned my lessons. Cole, as always, is trying to control my decisions. This has got to stop. Now!

  “First of all, you need to stop worrying about me. This is my life! We are friends and friends don’t do this kind of thing!” I huff. “What even made you look him up? Was it because I was working late with him? Or was it because you feel the need to control everything in my life?” Cole remains silently frozen, as question after question spew from my mouth.

  “Just because someone got into a fight doesn’t mean they’re a serial killer!”

  I swallow, trying to calm myself before continuing. “I appreciate your concern, I really do. But you need to stop,” I beg through gritted teeth. “This is one of the reasons we would have never worked out. Your need to turn everything into a conspiracy, or a story, it’s just…wrong! I am not a fucking story! Do you understand me?” The tension radiates off my body, as anger surges through me. I know he thinks he’s protecting me, but prying into my life every chance he gets is old and I’m tired.

  Besides, digging up dirt on Mr. James is completely ludicrous and almost embarrassing. Wait…Shit…Does my obsession run that deep where I’m already defending him? Shit!

  Listening to me verbally assault him was probably not the way he imagined this going down, and he is clearly hurt by my outburst. But, his hurt turns to irritation, shoulders tensing as he sits straight up. Fisting his hands, he slams them on the couch, causing me to jump.

  “First of all, you broke up with me because you are emotionally fucked up and incapable of receiving anything that resembles love from anyone other than your sister. I was only looking out for you.” Closing his eyes, he takes three deep breaths and flexes his fingers. You can see the tension leave his body as our gazes meet. In a matter of minutes he goes from zero to ten and then back down to zero. He’s always been able to get over arguments quickly, which attributes to how we’ve gotten through so many years together. But this time, I refuse to allow him to talk me out of being angry.

  I know it’s my dumbass fault for bringing up our previous relationship, leading the shit-storm to head in my direction. But just like any other time, I refuse to talk about our non-existent relationship or what we were or could have been. I take a moment to articulate my words. My intentions are not to hurt him, but to simply make him understand the line that I’ve drawn.

  “We are not talking about us, Cole. We broke up three years ago. I’ve moved on…I thought you had as well. I can’t do this with you. Not again. I want to keep you in my life, but not if you’re going to torture yourself. We need some distance, take some time and get your head on straight. When you can treat me like the best friends we are, and nothing else, then we’ll talk.” His face pains with anguish, and once again I’m breaking his heart.

  “You’re not just my friend, Elyssa...you’ve never been. You know how I feel about you. I lo…”

  “Don’t…just don’t. I don’t want to hurt you. I think we’ve hurt each other enough, don’t you?” Pausing, I raise my brow, hoping that my words sink in. “Let’s just put some space between us and then you’ll see. You’ll meet someone new, someone who can give you what you need.” Wow, I can’t believe I am saying this to him. Again! I hate this, but I’ll be hurting him more in the long run by not being honest.

  “Don’t do this?!” he begs, grabbing my wrist. “After everything we’ve been through, you’re just gonna leave? What if I hadn’t been there that night…just like I’m trying to be there for you now, where would you be? I saved you!”

  I’ve tried to forget about that night and he knows this. I can’t believe he’s using my sordid past to make me feel guilty. “Fuck you, Cole. How dare you! I can’t believe you would throw that in my face.”

  Trying to stand, Cole pushes me back down on the couch, demanding that I let him finish. But, just as I look up from his grip, I see his grief stricken face and our eyes lock. “You really fucked up this time!” I pull away and his hand falls to his side. Holding back the tears, I walk to the front door, breaking it open and wait for him to leave.

  “Get out of my house, Cole! Now!” Without another word, he leaves with his tail between his legs. As soon as I slam the door shut behind him, I lean against it, broken. I’m beside myself, unable to grasp the severity of what just happened.

  I’ve just lost my only friend.

  CHAPTER 3

  Friday, September 21, 2012

  Friday couldn’t have come sooner. The last couple days I’ve been walking around in a daze, trying to figure out what went wrong with Cole, and trying to figure out why I haven’t seen the assiduous Mr. James. I know eventually Cole and I will be okay, but something is different this time. I don’t know if I’ve ever been so mad at him. Oh Cole, what am I going to do with you? And then to deal with Mr. James and his unfathomable choice of words, berating and flirting at the same time, my mind has already gone numb.

  Not wanting to disappoint anyone at work, I’ve buried myself deep in benefit schedules, enrollment kits, and each plans rules and regulations. Maggie said the only way to learn the products was to dive right in and get dirty. Well, right about now, I’m filthy. My brain hurts deciphering all the plan variations, restrictions only applying to certain policies, and don’t get me started on all the different operating systems.

  Hopefully no one can see the steam rising from my ears
, especially not Mr. James. It’s sad to say that one of the main reasons for being so studious was in hopes to have a chance at impressing him.

  If I ever see him again.

  Giving my eyes a rest, I can’t help but look at the one picture sitting on my bare desk. Both wearing floppy hats and sunglasses, looking happy as can be, no one would be the wiser to think Rachel and I had such a damaging past. I love looking at my sister’s carefree smile, and brought it to work in an effort to remind myself of what I’m working towards. After a week of lusting over my blue-eyed V.P., I needed to refocus and get my priorities straight.

  And, once again, my mind finds its way back to him. I’ve fantasized about him in plenty of places; bumping into him in the hallway, on the way to my car, even on the way to the copier. His perfect lips forming a smile as our eyes meet. His masculine hands touching my waist as he brings me into an embrace. Shaking my head I bring myself back to reality. Having thoughts like this at work is bad for business, Ely.

  It’s very disappointing that it’s been almost a week since I last saw him. Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating a little, it’s only been three days, but my infatuation is completely unfamiliar. I know it’s juvenile, but I can’t stop thinking about him. I’ve never felt such an attraction to a man before. I imagine this is how I should have felt for some boy in high school, or maybe even college. But even with Cole, I never felt this kind of charge. And even now, just the thought of his name brings anger and hurt into my heart, something I hope I never have to feel with another person again.

  I have to believe that with one door closing another one has opened. And, it so happens to be in the form of sweet Janice. Our budding friendship has come at such an opportune time, and I’m thankful she’s become my lunch buddy. It’s nice to eat in someone’s company rather than awkwardly sitting by myself like a pariah. Having spent most of the week with her, I can tell she’s starting to trust me, because she mentions that her enigmatic boss is away on business, giving her more free time than she likes.

  I sigh at the mention of him as my body does cartwheels. I would love nothing more than to ask her tons of questions about her sexy-as-hell boss, but because I want her to continue trusting me, I decide less is more and stay quiet. Besides, I do want to get to know her. I enjoy her banter and her uncomplicated life. Making me smile, she discusses her love of cross-stitch and her obsession with cable TV shows. I feel slightly jealous she can find pleasure in the simplest things, when these days I find it hard to find pleasure in anything.

  “Earth to Elyssa!!” Janice exclaims, flapping her hands in my face.

  “I’m sorry, what were you saying?” blinking my eyes, I try and refocus.

  ”I was asking if you wanted to join us for Happy Hour after work?” Apparently, the Sales department regularly gets together on Fridays, gets intoxicated and talks gossip about management. She says it’s kind of like therapy. Drunken therapy? I muse. In hopes that this will get my mind off my unhealthy obsession, I accept her invitation. Janice even offers to drive; even better for me.

  ~~~~~

  Pulling into the parking lot of Gordon Biersch, I glance in the passenger mirror of Janice’s smart car to check my make-up. You never know, I might meet a guy who will sweep me off my feet. Make me forgot the name Alexander James. I’m just glad I spent the extra time curling my hair this morning. Who am I kidding? I’ve been waking up early every day, making sure not one hair is out of place, hoping to see him. Clasping the mirror shut, I step out of the car for a night of unabashed fun. Hopefully.

  Autumn, along with a few other people from the office, are waiting just inside the front door as we walk in. My first impression of Autumn was not the most pleasant and if it’s anything like our last meeting, tonight will be filled with stories of her being the master of the universe, or should I say, her universe. I don’t know what it is, but something about her rubs me the wrong way. I definitely didn’t like how impolite and negative she was, but there’s something more.

  Pushing our way through the crowd of college kids and business professionals, we are lucky enough to find a table close to the bar. Becky, our waitress, greets us and takes our orders; two Cosmos for them and an Apple Martini for me. As Becky runs off to fetch our drinks, Janice excitedly brings us in for a girl huddle. The three of us lean forward and Janice whispers all wide-eyed, completely animated.

  “Look over there,” she points with her thumb. Autumn and I turn our heads and notice the three attractive men sitting two tables away from ours. “Those guys are totally checking us out,” she giggles. The gentlemen look away as they realize their cover is blown.

  Setting our drinks on the table, Becky slinks away after Janice pushes our money aside, insisting on paying. Raising my drink towards the men two tables over, I boast, “Happy hunting, gentlemen.” Janice breaks out in laughter, raising her glass in unison with mine. Autumn, of course, doesn’t move an inch; instead she takes out her phone pretending to have better things to do.

  Autumn sneers, “I don’t know why you are all smiles and giggles, Janice. They obviously weren’t looking at you. You have about as much sex appeal as Mary Poppins.” Giggling to herself, she continues to press buttons, staring at the screen of her smart phone.

  My mouth drops in utter shock at her lack of consideration. Her constant need to pick is just plain disgusting; especially someone as soft-hearted and timid as Janice. Trust me; the only thing stopping me from tossing my drink in her face is the fact that Janice bought the drink. I don’t want to waste her money on that bitch.

  “Autumn, I think you’re mistaken,” I point to the man with dirty blonde hair in casual disarray, raising his glass, waving at Janice. “I think she has just the right amount of sex appeal.” Autumn glares in the direction of our admirers as I wink and raise my glass to toast with Janice. Clinking our glasses, we both take a sip in unison.

  Hopefully Autumn got the hint. I won’t stand back and allow her to plow over Janice just to fulfill her own personal power trip. Hiding her smile, Janice changes topics clearly not wanting to be the center of attention.

  “So Elyssa, Mr. James asked you to stay late, huh?” Jabbing her elbow into my side, she giggles uncontrollably. The alcohol must already be working its magic on her innocence. And, I can feel my face turning crimson as my shoulders rise and fall, shrugging off Janice’s observation.

  “There was no one else to help him, Janice. So he settled for me. No big deal,” I shy away, taking another sip as I glance around the bar, hoping they don’t notice my chagrin.

  “I was available, why didn’t he ask me?” She points to herself before putting up her finger and twitching it side to side. “Nope, he chose you for a reason,” she teases as she tilts her head back, finishing off her ruby beverage. Autumn cringes, with a look of disgust, causing my body to tense at her reaction. Maybe we should discuss how Mr. James laid into you, Ms. Perfect, for being so rude. That might shut her up for the rest of the night. Highly doubtful.

  “Stop being like that, Autumn!” Janice’s delicate voice breaks through the moment of tension. “You would swear he left you at the altar,” she teases, sarcastically. Finally, she’s gained the courage to be blunt with her adversary. Liquid courage was all she needed.

  “Stop being like what, Janice? We had a connection.” Lowering her head, Autumn stares at her scarlet cocktail. “He asked me to go to lunch with him. I thought we were making progress,” she mumbles, obviously flustered, hitting me with an unwarranted pang of jealousy.

  “Autumn, don’t get it twisted. You were the Sales Exec over that account and it was a business lunch. He didn’t propose marriage; he was just keeping you in the loop.” Giggling, Janice puts her hand up to her mouth in an effort not to break out in laughter. Autumn glares at her, clenching the edge of the table. “Plus, you are as sweet as pie to his face, but when he isn’t around you act like he’s the devil,” Janice quips. Ooh…I like this side of Janice!

  “I can’t help it. Have you seen that man
’s smile? Those lips…his eyes…and those arms…I just want him to…” All three of us blush as Autumn dives right into her secret fantasy.

  “Ok that’s enough, I get the picture!” Janice slams her hands over her ears, drowning out Autumn’s play-by-play. We all laugh at Janice’s reaction to dirty talk. Autumn, hot and bothered, fans herself with her hand. Boy, do I know how she feels.

  Autumn being the bitch that she is decides to shine the spotlight on me. “What do you think about Mr. James, Elyssa? I know Mary Poppins over here wouldn’t dare press her luck with her boss, but what about you?” Janice blushes, looking away embarrassed.

  “I don’t think about him.” I said that a little too quick, hope she doesn’t notice. I am lying, of course. I think about that man constantly. I’ve thought about him at least twenty times since we sat down for Happy Hour. I take a swig of my drink, swallowing the nervous knot building in my throat.

  “You must have a boyfriend then,” she grumbles.

  “No, I’m single,” I retort, trying to remain nonchalant.

  “Then how can you not have noticed him?” Autumn says haughtily.

  “Maybe it’s because my pool of available men expands past my co-workers.” Standing, I grab my half empty glass and head towards the bar. Needing to remove myself from the situation I decide to take the road of avoidance. I don’t want Autumn of all people to know how I feel about our V.P., and unlike her, I can keep my thoughts to myself.

  Sitting down at the bar, I feel bad leaving Janice to deal with Autumn, but then again, maybe the new bold Janice will handle her just fine. She knows where I am if she needs me.

  Just about to finish my Martini, I feel a shoulder brush against me, giving me chills. And not in a good way. Through the corner of my eye, I notice a slightly attractive man take the stool next to me. He eyes me thoroughly before extending his hand to make introductions.

  “Hi, my name’s Sam,” he yells, trying to talk over the roar of the crowd. He appears to be in his mid-thirties, dressed well wearing a fitted knit maroon shirt with a tan leather jacket and dark jeans. Not too bad.