by Stewart, Ann
Trying to hold onto what’s left of my dignity, I take in a deep breath, and advance the final steps towards the elevator. I suppose I should return his morning greeting, but my words strain to form coherent sentences. Instead, I fidget with my purse and murmur hello. That has to be better than stuttering like an idiot and twirling my hair, right? Hopefully he doesn’t notice my internal unraveling. Dang it, Ely; you are a strong woman, now act like it!
With the amount of time that has passed since his long, perfectly manicured finger pressed the call button, I’m on the verge of considering the elevator out of service. I try to remain indifferent and stand patiently waiting for the elevator, but he really makes it difficult. It’s not long after Alex starts rocking on his feet, to and fro, that my lips perk up into a small smile, thinking about our night together.
How is he able to keep his casual façade and act like nothing’s happened; act as if we’re nothing more than co-workers riding up the elevator together on any normal Monday morning? I’m not his average co-worker. He made that evident at the bar when he attacked Sam in my honor, and again when he brought me home to meet his grandmother, calling me beautiful. And definitely when he brought me to my car when we had our almost kiss for the third time of the night. Seeming ignorant to the energy I feel when we’re together, although immensely palpable, Alex continues to wait patiently. I wish I had his constraint.
Fortunately, just as the elevator door opens, Janice comes bounding towards us and I’m momentarily relieved that she’s joined the party. How awkward would it be to ride alone with him? That’s too many opportunities to sexually harass him; eighteen to be exact.
Always the gentleman, Alex holds his hand out signaling for us to enter as he secures the door open with the palm of his hand.
“Good Morning, Elyssa…Mr. James,” she stammers. Appearing nervous, she bites her lower lip, looking at me through the corner of her eye. I’ve already forgiven her for ditching me on Friday, for obvious reasons, but she doesn’t know that. By the look on her face, she’s about to become a blubbering mess, and I hope with my inviting smile she can see that I’m over it already.
Taking the open opportunity, Janice turns to face me and precedes full steam, rambling as she tries to explain herself. “Elyssa, I’m so sorry. Autumn drank too much and there was no way I was going to let her drive. I took her out to my car and I swear I was only outside for three minutes, when I went back in, you were gone. I was so worried about you. The last time I saw you, you were talking to the guy at the bar. I’m so sorry. I didn’t have your number, and…”
Signaling for Janice to calm down, I interrupt her with a wave of my hand. “Hey…Stop. It’s okay. Everyone got home alright and in the end I still had a pretty incredible night.” My eyes dart over to Alex, catching his fleeting smile; the slight dimple forming in the corner of his mouth giving him away.
“Wait! Did you go home with that guy?” She giggles and then shuts her mouth, remembering we’re not alone. Raising my eyebrows, I smirk at her reaction. If she only knew. Luckily, aside from Janice’s apology, the ride up to the eighteenth floor is quick and quiet.
Walking in the same direction, Janice and Alex break off heading towards their office. But, just as I’m about to head towards my desk, I see Alex peer over his shoulder, watching me walk away, giving me goose bumps. Hopefully I can keep it together and avoid tripping over my feet. Breathe, Ely…Breathe.
The moment I get to my desk I hear the ping of my cell phone; another text from Cole.
*If I said I was sorry, would you believe me? I shouldn’t have.*
Oh Cole, what am I going to do with you? His sweet apology deflates my attitude, like it always does. I knew after we had our argument it wouldn’t be long before I forgave him, only because that’s how we’ve always operated. My sister mistook our quarrels as fits of passion, but I know what they were. And so does he. I feel slightly guilty that I haven’t thought about him all weekend, but in my defense my thoughts were preoccupied.
~~~~~
I’ve been left to explore the world of SHI at my own pace. I love that Maggie doesn’t look over my shoulder every five seconds, but is always willing to answer any questions. In order to get my feet wet, she’s given me several projects and meetings to attend. With each meeting and new contact I’m learning not only about the company, but the different styles of our management team, and the temperaments of everyone in the office.
Everyone seems to love Maggie and is constantly praising her for her approachable open door policy and relaxed attitude. But, at the slight mention of Arianna, or even Alex, the conversations turn into a complete rant session. The consensus is that they both lack the soft skills to mentor even the most capable employee and most people seem to avoid them at all costs.
But avoiding doesn’t necessarily mean that the women don’t appreciate the eye candy that Alex is, and more than one has given a full run down of his finest attributes, making me blush. Little do they know that I’m very acquainted with his finer features and I must say that the depth of his appeal goes way beyond his perfect appearance.
Of course, his sex appeal also gives the rumormongers different stories to conger up. During one of my short twenty minute meetings, I was told about Alex’s fetish with stilettos, fishnet stockings, and apparently his many sexual conquests around the company, including Autumn. I, of course, know this rumor to be false considering how Autumn sheepishly admitted her unsuccessful attempts at getting him between her thighs. Offices are breading grounds for gossip and this scandalous group is no different.
With my desk being in the middle of the hustle and bustle of the office, my mind is unable to focus on the figures staring back at me. Normally, this wouldn’t bother me, but I’m ready to pound my head against my computer screen in hopes of making any sense of the numerical puzzle. With my fingers pressed against my temple, my elbows resting on my desk, I’m startled by the voice right behind me.
Swiveling my chair, I’m met with the quirky smile of Joseph, one of the few who deliberately stayed out of the gossip while the rest were too eager to chat. “Elyssa, are you okay?” he chuckles before offering his help. Maybe Joseph is exactly what I need; my own personal savior. He’s a seasoned Sales Associate and should be able to explain how to decipher some of the numbers from last year.
“I don’t quite understand these.” Pointing towards my computer screen, Joseph leans over, giving me his undivided attention. Several times I caught him glancing down at the curves of my breasts. Normally I would be irritated, but he seems innocent enough. Besides, he’s helping me.
“It’s like a story…” Joseph is all too excited as he points towards the columns and unravels the mystery for me. But just as he starts to tackle the spreadsheet, I notice Arianna and Alex out of the corner of my eye chatting closely; a pang of envy ripples through my body.
Showing off her curves in her mauve dress suit and matching blazer, she stands with her back towards me in her four inch heels. Shoes off she’s shorter than I am, but we have the same petite build.
Her diamond tear drop earrings sparkle against the light coming in from the adjacent windows, glowing next to her natural red hair pulled into a French twist. But, I can’t help but notice the most exquisite piece of jewelry in view, a beautiful silver watch on her left wrist. Hitting the diamonds, the sun reflects a small rainbow, as she circles the intricate knotted band with her fingers. I bet her watch costs what I make in a year. I sigh. I’m not jealous of her ability to buy nice things for herself, I could really care less about money, but I do envy the choices that money makes available.
Noticing my prying eyes, Arianna turns, and with a wink and a smile she continues her conversation with Alex. Her small gesture doesn’t go unnoticed and he motions for them to continue their conversation in his office. Before shutting his door, he turns to give me a panty dropping smile, but is caught when his brows furrow as his eyes meet Joseph’s curious glance.
For the next twenty minut
es, Joseph guides me through the figures from 2011 and 2012. I finally feel confident enough to accomplish the assignment, and thank him profusely for all of his help. “You are the best Joseph. I owe you one.”
Arianna and Alex stroll out of his office just as I stand to throw my arms around Joseph. “You have no idea how much you saved my ass.” Stopping in front of the meeting room, Alex’s attention is locked in my direction, his mouth hanging in shock. Touching his shoulder, Arianna whispers something in his ear, and then walks away.
Not realizing the time, I’m glad I have Janice to keep me on my toes, and on time for our meeting. Grabbing my notebook and a pen, I head off towards the conference room with Janice by my side.
Janice pulls me to the middle of the table, occupying the two seats next to Alex. With only five in attendance including both Janice and I, Alex starts the meeting discussing the sales figures for the week. His tone is very short and to the point, almost agitated. Even though I’m proud to say I’ve kept myself in the loop, the numbers are staggering compared to my last job.
Continuing to drone on about more numbers and more spreadsheets, Alex is uneasy, fidgeting with the papers in front of him. He even catches himself tapping his pen against the wooden table before clearing his throat and straightening in his seat. I glance over at Janice to see if she notices his odd behavior, and she must, because she simply shrugs and continues to take notes.
As the meeting progresses, his demeanor is cold and distant. Making eye contact with everyone except me, I’m starting to feel like the odd man out. Did I do something? Finally turning to look at me, Alex’s gaze shows nothing of the man I spent the evening with on Friday.
“Ms. Hart, where are we with the sales projections for next quarter?” The project Maggie just gave me on Friday? Looking around the room, I’m sent into panic mode.
“I-I thought they weren’t due until next Monday, Mr. James,” I stutter looking to Janice. Her eyes meet mine and convey nothing but the sheer pity she feels for me in this moment. When Maggie assigned me the projections, she didn’t give me any sense of urgency. Shit! I’m not incompetent!
“Is that how you operate, working an issue at the last minute? I’m glad we know that now before we give you something more important to work on,” he bellows, chastising me. I lower my head, cowering like a dog just kicked by their owner, but not before I notice the sneer on Autumn’s lips as she sits up, listening attentively.
“I apologize, Mr. James. I’ve been working on it all day, I promise to have it done by Friday.” With my head hung low, I offer another apology, hoping to end the conversation. My hopes are crushed as he continues.
“Didn’t seem like you were working on it a moment ago, Ms. Hart.” My head shoots up in surprise as my eyes meet his. There is nothing but irritation on his face, and his icy blue eyes are indifferent, staring in my direction along with the rest of the room. “Just make sure you have it done by Friday. I don’t expect to have this conversation again.”
The meeting is over shortly after his criticism and I couldn’t be more thankful to get out of there. I don’t know what crawled up his ass, but I can see what everyone was saying about his lack of soft skills. I slink back to my desk confused, trying to untangle his lost temperament. What did he think he was accomplishing by talking to me like that? If I wasn’t more level headed, I would march right into his office and give him a piece of my mind.
~~~~~
Deciding to take the stairs in an effort to subdue the day’s irritations, I’m panting by the time I reach the fourth floor of the parking structure. Endorphins are suppose to make you happy, which is why I’ve always been keen on working out, or at least going for a run when I have pent up stress. Unfortunately, the short trip up didn’t do anything for my mood. Peering into my small purse for a glimpse of my shiny metal key chain, I hope that I can put whatever happened today behind me.
No such luck.
It’s not until I take the last steps to my car that I notice him standing along the wall with his hands resting inside his pockets. Frustrated by the fact I can never escape him, and worse, that I don’t want to, I can’t hide my irritation or the flicker of anger in my face. But, even with all of that, I still take him in…all of him; from beautiful head to masculine toe. That is, until he starts talking.
“What the fuck were you doing today?” Closely examining my reaction, he positions himself between me and my car. Obviously seeing my confusion, he resumes his rant, punishing me again for something I’m unaware of. “Is that how you behave at work? Just throwing your arms around any guy that gives you attention?”
Stay calm, Ely, stay calm! “The way you talked to me earlier…I didn’t know we were friendly enough to be asking such personal questions, Mr. James. Or are we just making small talk again?”
“Were you trying to make me jealous?” Glaring at me, he removes his hands from his pockets and folds them over his chest, waiting for an answer. God this man is frustrating!
“Oh, we know each other now, do we?” I’m floored by his ridiculous question, especially after the way he treated me. Not once has he even mention Friday or shown an ounce of emotion towards me. Not once.
“Just answer the fucking question.”
Anger is bubbling inside, and I’m afraid to open my mouth. I may say how I’m really feeling, and that won’t get us anywhere. “If you really must know, Mr. James, I was getting input on the sales projections for next quarter. You know, the very same one you reprimanded me about?”
Clearly frustrated, I reach my car and toss my purse into the passenger seat before turning around and slamming the door. “Besides, why does it matter who I talk to, at work of all places? Joseph was just being helpful, which is more than I can say for some people.”
“We aren’t at work anymore, stop calling me Mr. James. I thought we were past the formalities, Elyssa.” Comprehending my anger, his attempts at calming me down with the crispness in his voice doesn’t work.
“You didn’t answer my question, Mr. James,” I respond sardonically. I’m not giving up anything, until he answers me. “And, I will call you what I damn well feel like calling you.”
Shocked by my outburst, he returns to his favorite stance; hands placed in his pocket. Slightly raising his voice in outrage, “You’re mad at me?! What the hell did I do?”
“What did you do? Besides practically ignoring me all day, you then felt it was okay to insult me during the entire meeting. And to top it all off, now you’re making accusations about me and Joseph!” Unable to control my irritation, I place my hands on my hips.
Voice softening, I can see the jealousy sweeping across his face. “You should have come to me if you had questions, not Joseph.”
“Did I know this? The only part of management who’s given any inclination of help is Maggie. You’ve given me nothing, nothing except uncertainty.” There. I said it. But just as I utter the words I’ve wanted to say all day, I consider taking it back as the pain seeps into his eyes. Oh well, can’t take it back now. Might as well keep on going; see how much I can get out of him. “Regardless Alex, why do you even care about what Joseph and I were doing?”
Staring at me through flitted eyes, he ponders what he’s about to say. Finally freeing his mind, he answers me. “I’m still trying to figure that out, Elyssa. I have to go.” And with a hushed goodbye, he’s gone.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
It’s a little after eleven when I get a call from Mr. Hodges, revealing that I have something at the security desk. Justifying how busy I am, he reluctantly agrees to bring it up to me. I’m confused as I set down the receiver. What would I be receiving at work? Even more confusing is the spectacle going on at the printer. Alex stands, rifling through paperwork and peeking up through his long lashes. When our eyes finally meet, I can’t help my ridiculous grin, and he returns it with his salacious, panty-twisting, smile. If he keeps doing that, I may need to buy some new underwear.
Mr. Hodges strolls around
the corner and I’m floored as he reaches my desk carrying the most exquisite bouquet of deep purple irises and intense red tulips. I stare blankly, before realizing my manners. “Thank you, Mr. Hodges. These are for me?”
“That is who they’re addressed to, Ms. Hart. You weren’t expecting them, I see. Well, nice surprise. Hope they’re from someone special,” he states, walking away hunched over, and smiling.
Silently, I hope that Cole hasn’t been overzealous by sending me flowers. I know I haven’t called him back, but he needs to learn his lesson, and I’m not ready to give into him. Not yet.
Opening the card, I’m baffled at what is written:
“I can’t be held responsible for what I do, when my mind doesn’t comprehend my heart’s desire.”
Looking up, I know exactly who they’re from. After scanning the room for only a second, our eyes meet, and our energy is transferred, sending a jolt to my system. Walking towards me with a wicked smile on his gorgeous face, he successfully leaves me breathless. Breathe, Ely, Breathe!
“I see that someone has sent you flowers. How very thoughtful…of someone.” My mouths drops open as he walks away. How very brazen. Well, he didn’t actually put his name on it, so technically, no one will know. But, I feel like I’m going to combust, as my mouth turns up; I’m glowing. No one has sent me flowers like this; for no apparent reason. Especially not someone I barely know. What is he up to?
Even when Autumn approaches, I’m unable to hide my excitement as I beam at her.
“Who are the flowers from, Elyssa?”
“There’s a note, but no one signed it. Guess I have a secret admirer.” I am giddy as Autumn pouts as she walks away muttering something about never getting flowers.
~~~~~
Arianna treated me to lunch today, and our silly banter didn’t last long, as memories of my childhood crept into our discussion. I sometimes forget how long she’s been in my life, and how long she knew my mother. It was nice hearing her acknowledge my accomplishments, but, when she reminded me that my parent’s would have shared in her pride, my heart clenched. It’s always hard thinking about them, comprehending they will never get to be there for any my achievements.
