by Stewart, Ann
Abruptly, we’re pulled out of our ecstasy. A loud knock on the front door, rattles us both to a halt. We remain quiet and when we don’t hear another knock, I shrug my shoulders and giggle slightly. Looking back into Alex’s infatuated blue eyes, a familiar voice starts to scream from the other side of the front door.
Bang! Bang! Bang! “Elyssa! I know you’re home. I see your car.” Fuck me!
“Who the fuck is that?” Alex whispers, his arms tensing around me.
“It’s Cole. If we’re quiet, maybe he’ll leave.” The last time I saw him we were okay, and he knows he can’t just come barging in on my life. I set those boundaries a long time ago.
“Let me answer the fucking door. I’ll set him straight.” Alex attempts to get up off the couch but I forcefully place my hands on his bare chest, pushing him into the cushion.
“Alex, please? Let me take care of this.” I kiss him on the lips, hoping that will placate him for now, and rise from his lap. Bang! Bang! Bang!
I grab my shirt and pull on my pants. Instead of opening the door, I yell through it. “What do you want, Cole?”
“Let me in!” His voice sounds slurred; he’s been drinking, heavily.
“Cole, are you drunk?”
“I’ve had a couple of drinks. What’s the big fucking deal? Just let me in. I want to see you.” Thump! Through the peep hole, I see Cole resting his cheek against the door.
“Cole, sit down. I’m going to call a cab.”
Like usual, he doesn’t listen. Instead, he starts to get belligerent, yelling even louder. “Ely, I can still remember how you taste.” Are you fucking kidding me? Fuck my life. He’s going to ruin everything, just when it was getting back on track. “Have I ever told you…you’re the best I’ve ever had? Even though you were a virgin….making love to you was the most amazing…you were so tight…”
“Cole, stop it!” I glance at Alex, fury coursing through the veins in his neck as he searches for his shirt. He’s trying to get dressed and fast, which scares the shit out of me. I can’t let him open this door.
Alex walks towards me, gripping the doorknob tightly. With all my strength, I force him away and reach up to pull his lips towards mine. “Alex, please? He’s drunk and I know he doesn’t mean what he’s saying,” I whisper.
“You can’t expect me to just sit here and listen to this bullshit.” Alex points towards the door. “I fucking told you about his obsession with you.” I don’t like seeing this side of Alex. This Alex scares me a little.
“Ely, are you there?” I can hear and feel Cole pounding on the door, as my hand rests on the doorknob, replacing Alex’s.
“Cole, you need to go home. You’re drunk.” I can’t believe he’s doing this. After all we’ve been through; he’s being a shitty friend. But, even a shitty friend deserves some compassion. I should open the door, or at least get a cab for him. No, instead, I’m trying to manage both of the men in my life. And I’m failing miserably.
“Ely, let me come in, please?! I want to fuck you so badly.” I glance backwards towards Alex, finding him pacing in the corner of the living room. Trying to block out the painted picture, his hands are balled on each side of his head. “I love you, Elyssa Jane Hart!” Cole’s words of adoration send Alex into a sinking rage. Shaking, he kneels on the floor of my living room. I rush to his side.
“Alex, please…just ignore him!” I kneel down, not knowing what to do. I go to touch him, but his solid blue intense glare stops me cold. The look of fear, disgust, and hurt all rolled into one shattered face.
“You better get rid of that asshole before I do it my own fucking self. Trust me Elyssa, you don’t want me to go out there. Fix this…fix this now!” When I said I didn’t like angry Alex very much, well, that was an understatement. I hate angry Alex.
Not wasting a second, I rush to the door and swing it open just in time to see Cole projectile vomiting into the bushes next to my door. Ugh, that is disgusting! Catching his breath, he realizes the door is open and smirks, trying to come at me. “Go home! We aren’t together…and we never will be. You’re my friend, and right now, you’re being a rather shitty one. I don’t want to see your face. Go home, Cole!”
“Elyssa….you are so beautiful, even when you’re mad. I’m sure you’re still as tight as I remember.”
In a moment of complete embarrassment, rage takes over and I slap Cole with all of my strength, shocking both of us. Reaching up to grasp his cheek, he looks at me in utter disbelief. “Get the fuck out of here! I never want to see you again,” I scream, slamming the door on his devastated face.
Quickly locking the door, I exhale heavily resting my head against the dark wood frame. Not having any time to collect myself, Alex is still on the ground. Kneeling, he slowly removes his hands from the sides of his head as I approach him. I sink to the floor and take his hands into mine; a different kind of ache begins to form in my chest, as I slowly examine his face. His eyes, normally exuberant, are anguished, his mouth set in a frown as he stares blankly at my hands.
Slowly, he lifts his face and our eyes meet. I’m overcome with embarrassment, knowing my baggage caused this and wanting so much to erase this night. This is not his problem, and yet because of me, he’s cowering on the floor of my apartment, trying to contain his thunderous temper.
“Alex, I’m sorry!” This isn’t about me, I know that, but I can’t help the tears starting to well in my eyes.
“Elyssa, I can’t do this...” The slow ache in my heart is now throbbing, threatening to explode out of my chest. I can’t blame him for not wanting to deal with my unresolved issues. My mind whirls and panic sets in. He’s breaking up with me. “I can’t see you go through this bullshit. I did it for too long with my Mom and I was too young and weak to do anything about it. It never ended well.”
Tears break through, streaming down my face. All of the revelations tonight are crashing down on me and I don’t know if my already weak emotions can face another. “Alex, don’t. You don’t have to explain anything.”
“No, I do. You have to know what you’re getting yourself into.” Resolved to listen, I nod so he can continue. “My whole life my dad was a horrible drunk and for years he would beat the shit out of my mother. I tried to protect her. There were several times I tried to fight him off, but I was too small. Once her body was riddled with cancer, it just wasn’t fun for him anymore. That’s when he finally stopped. I swore to myself that I would never be that weak again.” He reaches up and softly pushes the tears away with his thumb. “I can’t and won’t sit back and do nothing.
Soft sobs now escaping, I don’t know what to say. Are we both too broken to be together? “I’m so sorry, Alex. For this. For everything. I don’t want to be the cause of any more of your pain, and understand if you don’t want to see me anymore.” I close my eyes and brace myself, anticipating the worst.
“What…no! Elyssa, look at me! I never said I didn’t want to be with you. Not when I just got you back.” When I meet his gaze, he gently strokes my cheek with the back of his hand. Here he is, trying to reassure me, when I can still see his own torment. Gently pushing the hair from my face, he continues. “I only said that I couldn’t sit back and do nothing. If he comes back, I will deal with him.”
“He’s not usually like this. No, this is definitely my fault.” I know one day I’ll have to reveal more of the reason we broke up, not only to Alex, but possibly even to Cole, but not right now. Not this soon in our relationship and definitely not right now when he’s still radiating with anger.
Alex stands and walks towards the window, crossing his arms as he peers out towards the lawn. “Don’t make excuses for him, Elyssa. You’re not that weak.”
I rush towards him, wrapping my arms around him from behind, wanting nothing more than to feel him. Our connection was tested, but not broken. “I’m not. I’m sorry you had to be here for this.”
Turning to face me, he returns my embrace. Wrapping his arms tightly around me, I nuzzle into hi
s chest, as the sound of his heartbeat calms me. Closing my eyes, I bask in the moment; I feel safe…cared for. “You shouldn’t be sorry. If he’d gotten out of control, at least I would’ve been able to protect you. If I wasn’t here, you would’ve let him in. Then what would’ve happened?” He tightens his embrace when I start to shudder, imagining. I don’t think Cole would ever hurt me, but then again I’ve not seen him this drunk for quite some time. Not since I broke up with him.
“Thank you for being here. I know this isn’t how you imagined tonight going.” I smile up at him, trying so desperately to reassure him that Cole and I are over.
“Tonight isn’t over yet.” Slowly, he leans down, running his supple lips softly over mine, hands traveling down my body, caressing each curve. “I want you…but not here.” I frown as he releases me. “Pack a bag; you’re coming home with me.”
“What?” I stand in shock. Okay, I know this little episode has put a damper in things, but really? I don’t think we have to leave my apartment. Cole isn’t stupid enough to come back. If he hasn’t already started to walk home, I’m sure he’s passed out down the street.
“I’m not leaving you here alone in case that asshole comes back,” he glares at me, daring me to argue.
“Alex, you really don’t need to worry about me. Cole wouldn’t hurt me.” But, even as I utter the words, I know my voice deceives me, leaving out the main ingredient. Conviction.
“Elyssa…this isn’t up for discussion. I’ve seen what alcohol does to people.” Alex shakes his head. I really hope this hasn’t dredged up too many painful memories from his past. “You’re coming with me, even if I have to throw you over my shoulder and carry you out.” I decide not to push him any further into the darkness, and grab an overnight bag and start to pack.
As we leave the apartment, I warily glance around checking for traces of where Cole may have ended up. Alex holds the passenger door open for me and I feel uneasy as I continue to scan the parking lot. The feeling of being watched rushes over me and suddenly I feel afraid. Not afraid for myself, but fear for Cole. What would Alex do to him?
Pulling away from my apartment, the memory of Cole’s research of Alex’s arrest and his possible violent past, repeats in my head. Glancing over my left shoulder, sits this amazingly polite, beautiful, and deep man that for some reason cares for me. At this moment, there is not a violent bone in his body. He only wants to keep me safe.
CHAPTER 11
The outside lights are on, showing the tall trees and immaculately kept bushes that line the long curved driveway. His house is quite intimidating. Too much for someone his age, but I completely understand his need to make a home for himself and his grandmother. I’ll never be able to understand how he’s amassed so much in such a short amount of time. Let’s just hope he’s as driven in his personal life as he is in his career.
I’m out of the car before Alex can come around and open my door. It’s nice that he’s always a gentleman, but I can take care of myself. With a pout, he accepts my outstretched hand and leads me up the cobble stone pathway to his front door. “You have such a beautiful home, Alex. I never had a chance to tell you that before.”
“Oh…on the detour?” A sweet smile spreads across his lips. The dimples that I love so much make an appearance.
“Yes, the detour,” I whisper. He remembers the little details of our beginning, which warms my heart. He is paying attention. Back when I was afraid I was nothing but a number to him, those moments meant something to the both of us. The pain and frustration over the past couple of weeks have been more than worth it. I’d do it all over again just to end up right here, right now with him. I literally traveled to hell and back just to have him call me his girl and make me feel whole again.
Leading me through the front door, the foyer is exactly as I remember. Beautiful, intricate sculptures and pottery, made by his mother, rest on the oversized table lining the entry way. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the overwhelming feeling just walking into his house. Luckily my hand is still in his as he drags me towards his kitchen. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was pulling me along with him, I might have stood in awe for hours, taking it all in.
We’re not alone as we enter the kitchen. “Alexander?” We’re both startled, not expecting company. Standing in the doorway, wearing a purple floor length nightgown, his grandmother looks ever so fragile and petite as she rubs the sleep from her eyes.
“Nana, what are you doing out of bed?” Alex immediately releases me and walks towards her, tenderly reaching out for her hand.
“I had a nightmare. I can’t fall back asleep.” His face falls, wanting nothing more than to shield her from the ugliness of the world. Alex is strong, but there is only so much within his power, and he knows it.
“I’m sorry. Come on, let’s get you back in bed.” He grabs her hand, trying to pull her back into the direction of her room.
She stills. “Are you hungry? I should make you a peanut butter and banana sandwich.” I really need to ask him about this. This is the second time she’s mentioned the odd meal and it must have some sort of significance. I watched a documentary about Elvis and remember this was his favorite food; I wonder if there is a connection between the two. Well, Alex is the King of my heart.
“No, Nana. I’m not hungry. Come let’s get you in bed.”
“No, Alexander. I told you, I couldn’t sleep. Sing me a song, instead.” Now I can see where Alex gets his demanding attitude from. She’s just as adorable as he is when he’s being bossy. I smirk and suppress a giggle. There is someone who’s able to give him a taste of his own medicine.
“If you insist, Nana.” Of course he gives into her. He glances at me nervously, asking for my forgiveness? Permission? I don’t know what he wants, but whatever it is, he has it.
“Come on Katherine, Alexander’s going to sing for us.” She rushes over, grabbing me by the hand leading me in the direction of her room. Katherine? Alex sighs from behind us, grabbing the guitar from the corner, as we walk down the hallway and enter his grandmother’s sitting area.
Nana continues holding my hand, as she leads me to the couch. She waits in anticipation as Alex sits on the rocking chair directly in front of us. Her eyes light up and I see the love and adoration she has for her grandson. Alex looks nervous. Or, is he embarrassed? Maybe he doesn’t want me here for this. I signal to him with my hands, pointing to myself and then the doorway, asking if he would like me to leave. Without hesitation, he shakes his head. My heart sighs, as I pat Nana’s hand, squeezing it gently.
My attention on Nana is broken once Alex strums the guitar. His melodic voice starts to echo through the sitting area as he begins singing an acoustic version of Elvis Presley’s, Can’t Help Falling In Love.
“I love Elvis,” Nana exclaims, tightening her grip on my hand. I smile at her, only taking my eyes off Alex for a split second before returning my attention to him. His voice is pure, masculine and deep, yet he sings with such emotion. His fingers gracefully glide over the strings as he continues to croon with his eyes tightly closed. Drops of dew touch my hand and I realize there are tears streaming down Nana’s face.
“Are you okay?” I whisper to her, not wanting to interrupt Alex.
She nods, patting my hand. “Just happy, dear. We did good Katherine. He really has grown into an amazing man.”
I nod my head in agreement, while Alex finishes the song. Strumming the guitar string one last time, Alex opens his eyes and grins. “Alright time for bed.”
Leaning over, she kisses me on the cheek. “Good night, Katherine.”
“Night Nana,” I whisper as Alex takes her by her hand.
“I’ll be right back,” Alex murmurs, leading his grandmother into her bedroom.
Waiting for Alex’s return, I lay back against the cushions, my eyes fluttering shut as I’m bombarded with emotions from the past twenty-four hours. Starting off my day in complete and utter dismay thinking Alex was the root of all evil, I’ve gone
from depression to utter rage, imagining ways to not only rip his head off, but Autumn’s as well. Then there was our showdown at my apartment. I’ve never yelled at anyone the way I screamed at him and yet here we are. I’m in my boyfriend’s house. My boyfriend…my man. I like the way that sounds. I’m in a relationship! After so long, I finally feel the excitement and passion that I always knew I wanted. This is what it feels like to fall in love.
Alex glides back into the room, closing the door behind him. Walking over, his face is full of sorrow. His brows are creased, trying to force a smile.
“Is she asleep?” Why is he so upset? He nods sinking into the couch next to me. Leaning over his body, he places his head in his hands.
“Sorry we were interrupted, again.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. It’s gratifying to see how you are with her. At least it was your grandmother and not one of your many exes.” I bump his shoulder with mine trying to lighten the mood, which seems to work as I’m rewarded with a partial smile. I pause, not knowing if I even want to know the answer to the next question, “Who is Katherine?”
“Katherine’s my mother. She called you that a few times, didn’t she? Sorry about that, her memory goes in and out. Sometimes, she doesn’t even remember who Delores is, which has started to pose some real problems. But, she hasn’t forgotten me yet, but one day...” He gazes down at his long fingers, sitting in silence. My heart aches for him. I can’t even fathom how hard all of this has been on him. Taking care of his grandmother is one thing, but to also contend with a debilitating disease, one that will only get worse with time, has got to be tough.
I try to lighten the mood, taking his hand in mine, kissing each knuckle. “Are you a fan of peanut butter and banana sandwiches?
He smirks. “It was my favorite snack as a child. As you can tell my grandmother loves Elvis, so I didn’t really have a choice.” He laughs, but his mood darkens with the blink of his eyes. “When things got bad with my Mom and Dad, when the arguing got really bad, I would climb out my window at night and run to my grandmother’s house. No matter the time, day or night, she would always be there to let me in. She started to make me peanut butter and banana sandwiches and for some reason, not sure why, they always made me feel better.”
