Chosen Heart (The Hart Series)

by Stewart, Ann

  “Just give me…” Alex is interrupted by Janice.

  “Mr. James, Maggie needs to speak with you.” Janice’s distressed face at Alex’s glare is duly noted. You can tell she didn’t want to interrupt, knowing he’s upset, but she had to get his attention somehow. I can see in her eyes that she was only trying to help. Maybe she saw the anxiety on my face, and felt like butting in. Alex pauses momentarily before following Janice to my left where Maggie is huddled with a group of Sales Associates.

  As soon as Alex is out of my sight, I go with my first instinct to flee, but again I’m stopped in my tracks as Oliver approaches me. “Well, well, well Ms. Hart. I told you we would meet again.” His uplifting smile and genuine charm gives me a moment of distraction. But, only a moment. I need to get out of this confined space and quickly, before I lose my composure and the tears begin.

  “Congratulations, Mr. Prescott. Sorry, but I was just on my way out.” Attempting to walk around him, my flight is interrupted as he grabs my elbow.

  “Not so quick. Go out with me.” He’s so straight forward and sure of himself. Any woman would feel flattered that such a man was in hot pursuit; however, right now all I can feel is the choking sensations deepen inside me.

  “Mr. Prescott…”

  “Please call me Oliver, Elyssa.”

  “Oliver, I can’t. I really must go.”

  Still maintaining his strong grip on my elbow, I glance at Alex who is now fuming, ignoring Maggie and the other associates. I can hear him try to get out of the conversation and I know I need to hurry and get away before he’s free. Oliver places his index finger under my chin bringing my attention back to him. “Give me a chance. Dinner? Breakfast? Lunch? Coffee? Throw me a bone here? I’m completely out of place.”

  “Fine. Lunch…tomorrow,” I agree, if only to get out of this situation. “Now, I have to go.”

  “It’s a date!” Oliver smiles in contentment and releases my elbow allowing me to flee the conference room.

  Quickly, I grab my purse from my desk and take my keys out of the front pocket as I head towards the elevators. Pushing the call button, I stand in anticipation, tapping my foot. Hurry please! I look up, staring at the floor numbers above the elevator door.

  I search for any sign of Alex or Arianna, and see neither of them following me. Ding! The doors part and I rush in, pressing the button for the first floor several times. The sound of Alex’s voice echoes through the lobby, “Elyssa! Stop!”

  I pause for slightly longer than a moment, considering holding it for him. But because he had no consideration for me, I press the button to close the door instead. Just as it closes, I see Alex’s panicked face through the crack, as the elevator descends to the first floor. My heart is racing. Right now, all I want to do is avoid Alex at all costs. Anger and rage has turned to pain and small pools of tears are welling in my eyes as I reach the first floor. Bolting towards the parking garage, I’m practically jogging as I reach my car.

  Pulling out of my space, I see Alex out of my rearview mirror running towards the parking garage. His voice echoing as he gets closer. Without any hesitation this time, I put the car in drive and speed away towards the exit, not looking back. Tears are now streaming down my face as I sob violently. How could he do this to me? How could he lie? How could I trust him? The thought of Alex and Arianna together, the picture my mind is painting is not one of love or friendship. The picture is repulsive….raw, animal fucking all over his damn house, including his bed where he supposedly made love to me.

  I’m startled by the sound of my phone ringing from my pocket. “Shut the fuck up!” I yell, crying hysterically. No longer in control of my emotions, I reach into my pants to retrieve my phone. I turn it off and toss it into the backseat. Pulling into traffic, I head in the direction of home. My home where solace is no longer found, just memories of me and Alex; in my bed, on my couch. Even the thought of going over to my sisters, repulses me. I can’t escape him anywhere I go. Fuck my life!

  CHAPTER 21

  Violently sobbing, I wipe away the tears with the back of my hand as I grip the steering wheel with the other. What a fool I’ve been! I thought, for a brief moment I found my chance at happiness; finally the prospect of having a complete family was coming true. But, like the rest of my life, I was wrong, and with the twirl of a wrist watch my world is crashing down.

  How could he do this? How could he even touch her? She is his boss! Shit, he’s your boss too, Ely. Don’t be a hypocrite! He told you he had a past, a past that you didn’t want to know about. But how could he fuck both of us at the same time? After everything! Arguing with myself is not going to get me anywhere. Fact is my heart still wants him, possibly always will. But, what does that get me? Nothing but a broken heart. My mind on the other hand, my mind is telling me to run away; to seek shelter from the emotional storm that’s about to hit.

  Searching, reaching, begging for any clue to show that I wasn’t a complete fool is consuming my every thought. What I find is heartbreaking. Should I have picked up on them before? No…why would I? I was falling in love, and nothing he could have done would have deterred me…until now. I should have realized what he was when he fucked me in the club. Instead, it did nothing but turn me on. If I would have thought about it then, I would have run.

  Ignoring reason, even after ignoring me for four days, I believed his excuses. All because I wanted to with him. I was already in too deep. Could I have gotten out then?

  With another tap on my shoulder, I hear the pleading not to ignore all the brightness he’s brought to my life. How his presence protected me when I needed him. If he wasn’t there for me, I don’t know what would have happened. He wasn’t something I even knew I needed.

  I’m emotionally torn, not knowing which direction to run. Alex’s warnings about his promiscuous past, his declarations about not being good enough for me, all of it was true. His drunken ramblings about ruining our relationship before it ever truly started mock me. Everything he said was real.

  The horn from a nearby car wakes me from my internal ramblings just as I cross over the median. Shit! Focusing back on the road I continue heading north, trying to get home before I break down and fully embrace my sadness. Some asshole keeps honking at me, and is not stopping. Crap, he’s following me. Honk…honk,honk,honk! Knowing full well what I’m about to find in my rearview mirror, I can’t bring myself to look.

  Honk…honk,honk,honk! Finally getting the courage, I look back and see the familiar sleek white BMW following close behind.

  Alex continues to lay on his horn, trying feverishly to get my attention. Refusing, I wipe the last of my tears and accelerate down the busy street. Alex has no trouble keeping up, and has added the annoyance of flashing his lights to distract me. Accelerating, I swerve in and out of traffic getting so close to one man’s bumper that he sped up and pulled over to let me pass. Not in my sound mind, I continue my uninhibited drive hoping that he’ll give up and just leave me be. Checking my side mirror, I see the irritation carved in every crease on his forehead. He is pissed!

  At the last second, I turn down a side street hoping to lose him, but Alex makes the turn, cutting off a car, making them swerve and slam on their breaks. The rev of his engine is overwhelmingly loud as his BMW passes me. Maybe he has given up? Shit! No such luck. Instead of continuing down the street as I’d hoped, he turns his car to the right, cutting me off, forcing me to brake and swerve to the side of the road.

  I guess this is where our standoff is going to happen. Anger coursing through me, I break open the car door, slamming it behind me for the full effect. Alex exits his car in the same manner, barreling towards me.

  “What the fuck kind of nerve do you have? I told you I didn’t want to talk. You almost killed me!”

  “I almost killed you? You were doing a damn good job of it yourself, swerving in and out of traffic like a fucking lunatic!”

  “Is that what you wanted? To critique my driving?! Well thank you Mr. James, for your
criticism. Now move your damn car so I can get the fuck away from you!”

  “I told you we need to talk. If this is where we have to have this conversation then so be it, but you are going to listen to me.” I roll my eyes, folding my arms across my chest in disgust.

  “I know how this situation appears, but you have to give me a chance to explain. You have no idea…”

  I can no longer restrain my building fury. Like a dormant volcano I erupt with rage. “Explain what? You want to explain how many times you fucked both of us in the same day? How about explaining how you told me you love me just to keep me from questioning you about canceling on me? How about explaining how you’ve been lying to me for weeks? Explain it, Alex. I can’t wait to hear more of your lies!” I scream, throwing my hands in the air as I screech in agony.

  Alex looks like he’s about to come at me, annoyance, hurt, rage, fuels his emotions. The look on my face must have stopped him, because he only took two steps closer to me before his expression turns to one of frustration.

  “First of all, let’s get something clear. I was not having sex with her while I was with you. I ended that part of our arrangement the moment I started seeing you. I would never do that to you. Secondly, I told you I loved because it’s how I felt…no, how I feel. I have never lied to you.”

  Annoyed, I can’t help but choke on his words. “You never lied? Are you serious? Where is the damn camera because I have to be on one of those prank shows.”

  “What did I lie about? I told you that an ex came to my house, didn’t I? I told you I had a past I wasn’t proud of. I also told you when you found out about my past, you would leave. Do you see what you’re doing? You’re proving me right.” Throwing his hands up in an enraged gesture, he continues to stare, his piercing blue eyes locked on mine. “Look at this…this looks like you’re leaving.”

  I look away, playing with the ring on my finger, not knowing what I’m doing. I’m so angry, so upset, so…disturbed at all of this. He knows he lied; keeping information out of the truth is still lying. Why doesn’t he see that? “You kept details from me; details that would have made a difference.”

  “So you’re saying that if you knew I was with Arianna before you, you wouldn’t have fallen for me? What happened to finding your other half? What happened to you loving me?” Alex voice softens, “Elyssa please…”

  Heart contracting, I feel pain radiating in my chest as I gasp for air. Raising my hands above my head, I lower to sit on the curb next to my car. Alex approaches and sits next to me, making an attempt to bring me into an embrace. I can’t handle his touch and pull away, refusing him. His hands were on Arianna’s…my boss, my mother figure, my so-called-friend. How could they do this to me? How could she do this to me?

  Trying to conceal his anger at my rejection, he backs off. “I will tell you anything you want to know. Just please give me a chance to explain before you completely write me off.”

  Resting my hands on my neck, I bow my head and whisper. “You didn’t give me a chance…”

  “A chance at what?” he commands.

  “Making the decision for myself. You never gave me a chance to know the whole situation before I fell in love with you. You fooled me and now I’m the one that’s heartbroken because you kept secrets. You took our chance away…”

  “The day I met you…something changed. My world changed,” he interrupts. I don’t know if I can handle hearing what he has to say. I don’t think you have a choice, Ely. There was never a choice. “Of course I was attracted to you and wanted to know what it would be like to be with you, but there was something else. I needed to know what it was about you that sparked something inside of me. I spent more time with you at work, watching you to figure it out, and then there it was,” he pauses, searching for the right words before finally finding his voice.

  Alex’s gaze locks onto mine, as if he needed to profess the truth or he would fade away. “I could see you. You were there, always there; in my thoughts, always in my head. I had a dream about you. You were by my side, walking hand in hand. It was the first time I didn’t feel alone.” Alex grabs for my hands, and I let him. Even after all the sadness, I want nothing more than for him to take me, hold me, and tell me everything is going to be okay. “When I woke I knew I had to have you. That’s why I asked for you to help me put together the presentation, same reason I followed you to the bar, why I took you to Red Rock, and why I allowed you to meet my grandmother…don’t you see…I never treated you as if you were something temporary.”

  Shaking my head, I can’t let him cloud my judgment with moments that made me fall for him. I have to change the topic, before I give in. He hasn’t told me the most important part of the story, and I have to know. “How long were you with her…?”

  “It was never a relationship. You have to know that. It was just sex.” He stops, looking up to the sky, grasping for air and for what I assume is help. He better be asking for forgiveness! Before continuing, Alex takes a deep breath, letting all of his frustration out in one big exhale.

  “When I started with the company I was just a mail clerk, barely bringing in enough money to make ends meet. My grandmother was still good at the time and not living me with yet, not that I had very much room. I networked when I could and only saw Arianna occasionally, but never had any interactions with her.” Taking another deep breath, Alex closes his eyes before proceeding.

  “Soon after, Nana got sick. Her medication was expensive and I had no one to watch her while I was at work. I was at the point of desperation and needed a way to take care of both of us. My pay wasn’t cutting it.” A tormented Alex peers over at me, searching for what I don’t know. Sympathy? The rushed statement that ensues is almost unintelligible. Almost. “I read on the internet about male escorts and started running ads.”

  Barely audible and in shock, I whisper, “You were a whore?” I can’t help the tears pricking my eyes. I really never knew him and that pains me. There is so much more to his past than I could have ever imagined. I continue to bow my head in sorrow, staring at the pavement below, wishing it would swallow me whole. I can’t believe I’m hearing this. This is so far from what I thought he was going to tell me, that it’s almost unbelievable.

  Ignoring my question, Alex’s voice quivers, “Soon, I had a pretty decent clientele established. Several regulars paid me well, and eventually started referring their friends to me. One of my regulars, Sandy, did just that. She set up the entire meeting and it wasn’t until the door opened to an upscale apartment that I even knew it was Arianna. You can’t imagine how awkward it was for me. I tried to back out of the situation, but Arianna…she still wanted to. She offered me a large sum of money and I couldn’t pass it up.

  “Because of our business relationship, I told myself that it was going to be just the one time. I told her I separated my two lives, but that didn’t deter her. She had different plans. At work, she started coming on to me. Trying to humanize myself, I explained my situation with my grandmother, and soon after she started offering me more and more money, more than I could pass up, as long as I continued seeing her. You can’t even imagine the weight that was lifted off my shoulders, after only a few times of being with her. I started doing this to take care of Nana, but what Arianna was offering me was more stability than I could have ever asked for, that I’ve ever known.

  “As time passed, she became possessive and didn’t want me seeing anyone else. In turn for completely getting rid of the other women, she offered me a position in Sales, paid for me to get my license, made sure I had the best accounts that generated the best bonuses. I was making money on both sides.”

  “She gave you promotions for sexual favors?” I ask disgust riddled in every word.

  “Basically. But, after I got the sales position I cooled things off with her. I appreciated the opportunity she gave me, but I didn’t like what I was becoming. I felt cheap. So, I concentrated on learning the position and excelling, which I did. Arianna paid for me to cont
inue my education, and I went on and got my Masters degree.

  “When the V.P. position became available and I applied, she propositioned me again. She said that if I didn’t give her what she needed, then I wouldn’t get what I wanted. Elyssa, I deserved that position and if it was any other company and any other CEO I would have gotten it on pure merit, but she had me by the balls. So, I began sleeping with her again. What could I do?” he asks mostly to himself, resting his chin on his fists.

  “After that I started drinking quite heavily and I didn’t care. My idea of self worth was defined by lies and deals. Deals made with someone who had too much control. This went on for far too long. She didn’t care what was going on with me personally, as long as I gave her what she wanted. That was until I saw you.”

  “Why didn’t you just stop the fucking? Move on, move away? Anything to be out of her grasp.” There had to be a way. If I was under someone’s gravity like that, I would fight…no claw my way out of it. Even if that meant moving, or changing careers, I would have found a way. She can’t have that much pull, can she?

  “Elyssa…you have to understand. She had me. I applied for other jobs outside of SHI and continuously got turned down. One of the hiring managers was nice enough to tell me that Arianna called them personally to ask them not to hire me. She stopped every attempt. What was I to do?”

  “So, what makes this any different, Alex? She still has her claws in you…obviously she doesn’t want to let you go. How are you going to escape her now if she didn’t let you go before? And what about my relationship with her…God! She’s known me since I was a child! ”

  “I told her I fell in love. She didn’t know it was you until the night she showed up at my house. That was the same night she told me I was going to New York, which I’m now convinced she planned on purpose. But, I can’t let her win.” Alex tenses, looking at me, searching my face for any sign of acceptance. I can’t give it to him. Not now, not after all of this…