by Stewart, Ann
Soon, Janice and I share some girly banter about how attractive Colin Egglesfield is. Several of his features remind me of Alex; his deep dimples, striking blue eyes and dark hair. The yearning for Alex deepens as I think about him, sending a deep ache down to my groin. Trying to drown my libido with alcohol, I finish the rest of my margarita way too fast, giving me a brain freeze. We giggle as I wince in pain, holding my hands over the sides of my head.
“Here. Another glass is what you need. Cure for any type of pain,” Janice jokes as she pours me another glass. I couldn’t agree more. The alcohol has already kicked in and the stress and heartache from earlier has subsided, in addition to my need. The need for my heart.
Several hours later, both Janice and I have had way too much to drink. We laugh until our sides hurt, poking fun at co-workers, drivers in Las Vegas, and how much we both hate the heat, but don’t have any plans on moving. What I wasn’t expecting in our light and amusing conversation was the mention of seeing Cole at the office. What in the hell was he doing there? And where was I?
“You’re still friends with him right? I mean, I saw him at the fundraiser, but you haven’t talked about him since.”
“I haven’t talked to him since. We had a bit of a falling out that day, and I need my space from him. Do you know why he was at the office?”
“The Monday after the fundraiser he called to make an appointment to interview Arianna.” Shit, I forgot about that. I can’t believe he actually went through with seeing her. She’s probably got her claws in him too. Another unsuspecting young male she can ruin. Just hearing her name sends my pulse racing.
“I think he came in when you and Mr. James were in San Diego. He was in her office for over two hours.”
Two hours is a long time to spend on one interview. I’ve gone with Cole a couple of times and he doesn’t usually care enough to spend more than fifteen minutes with the subject. This can’t be good. But, at the moment, I can’t do anything about it except for pout, and I’m so over pouting for the evening. This night is supposed to be about getting some me time with a friend, and all we’ve done is drown our sorrows and talk about the same thing we were trying to take a break from.
Feeling far too gone to drive myself home, I rest my head against the pillow to stop the room from spinning. Wanting nothing more than to fall asleep, I’m interrupted by my phone chiming several times. Trying to focus my eyes on the screen, all I can see is my heart staring back at me.
*It’s late. Are you home yet?*
*Elyssa, You’re making me worry. If you don’t answer me, I’m coming to get you.*
**You are sooooooo impatient. I’m fine. Still with Janice.**
I giggle at my excessive use of the letter O. Alex probably won’t find humor in it, but he doesn’t find humor in much these days.
*How much have you had to drink? Do you need me to get you?*
**I said I was fine. I’m not sure if you’re more worried that I might have Oliver come get me or that you’re being selfish and want to come and fuck me.**
*Both.*
I roll my eyes. Alex is so predictable. My head in a daze, I can no longer keep my eyes open and doze off on Janice’s couch; the sound of my phone chiming in the background.
CHAPTER 23
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
“Ely…Ely…you gotta wake up,” Janice’s voice echoes throughout my throbbing head as she gently nudges my body. Through my squinted eyes, Janice’s tired face is the first vision I see. A sweet smile spreads across her lips as she realizes that I’m awake. The second sight is almost too much to take in the morning, especially when I’m hung over. Her vibrant red and orange accents hanging on the wall causes my arm to catapult over my eyes.
“Good Morning,” she whispers, heading towards the kitchen.
With a crick in my neck, I wake feeling stiff and achy. Reluctantly, I release my arm and I stretch hoping to relieve the dull ache all over my body. “Ugh, how much did I drink last night?” My voice is raspy and my throat hurts. I try to stand, but fail miserably, slumping back against the couch. This is why I don’t drink.
“WE drank way too damn much!” She giggles as she leans against the kitchen counter sipping on a mug of what I assume is coffee based on the overwhelming aroma. Finally noticing the after effects of our girl’s night, memories slowly creep back into my conscious. Seeing Janice’s decorative pillows thrown all around the room as if a tornado came through and destroyed her normally tidy living area, makes me smile. I needed this.
I look towards Janice and watch the color slowly return to her face with every gulp of her morning beverage. “Did we really dance around like a bunch of high schoolers and have a pillow fight?”
“That we did. Dang, Ely, you look about how I feel right now.” Janice tilts her head, giving me a once over as I throw my arm over my face, hiding my hideous appearance. Thanks Janice. “Then again, I probably look how I feel right now.” I roll my eyes. Her hair is pinned back, dark circles encompass her eyes, but hey, at least she’s ready for work. A lot more than I can say about myself.
“What time is it?” Seeing her dressed in pressed black slacks and pink button up shirt, I’m somewhat afraid of the answer. She’s ready to tackle her day, so I know it’s later than I want it to be.
Janice glances at the clock on her stove, replying that it’s seven. Yep, it’s much later than I want it to be. “I tried to wake you earlier, but you were passed out.” Walking over she hands me a glass of water and three Advil. “Trust me, if you can keep them down, they’ll help.”
I pop the pills into my mouth and take a swig of the ice cold water. The coolness travels down my throat and into my stomach, reviving me. “Thank you, for this and for last night. You don’t think I’d get in trouble if I called out today, do you? I don’t think there’s any way I’m going to make it in today.”
“Just give Maggie a call. I’m sure she won’t make a big deal of it, especially with how many hours you’ve been working. Unfortunately for me, Mr. James needs some files for a meeting today. So, I need to finish getting ready since I can’t play hooky.”
Speaking of Alex, I remember passing out to one of his texts. I really hope I didn’t make him worry. Taking out my phone I see twenty missed calls from Alex, one from Rachel, and seven waiting text messages. So much for that. I must have really been out of it.
First things first, I need to take care of my responsibilities. Besides, I don’t think I can deal with my personal drama right now. Dialing Maggie’s number, I reach her voicemail and leave a message letting her know I’m under the weather and won’t be coming in today. With that out of the way, I take a deep breath, knowing that I can’t put my personal drama off any longer. I have to deal with Alex. I sigh as I open my barrage of messages.
*Hello?? Do you need me to come get you?*
*Do not even think about driving home. Damn it Elyssa, Call me!*
*I really hope you weren’t serious about having Oliver come get you.*
*I don’t trust him, Elyssa. He will take advantage of you and I can’t lose you. Please call me.*
*I’m two seconds away from calling Janice. You’re killing me.*
Oh God no! He can’t break his own rules. Even though Janice has her suspicions, I never admitted it to her. What was he thinking?
*I spoke with Janice and she says you’re okay. You have no idea how relieved I am. Don’t ever do that to me again!*
*Oh, and I love you!*
Janice comes striding back into the kitchen area just as I finish reading the last message. What am I going to do with him? I know I made him worry, but calling Janice? Really?
Picking up her mug, she sips slowly as she clings to her ceramic life saver. Finally standing, I join her in the kitchen, relieved to find a mug waiting for me. “Thanks.” She nods and smiles.
Looking over my steaming cup, I search her eyes for trust. She has given me no reason not to and at this point why does it matter. Alex already let the cat o
ut of the bag, so nothing that I can say will make it any worse. “So, Alex called you last night, huh?”
She nods, continuing to savor her coffee. “He was worried about you and wanted to make sure you didn’t drive home.” That or was he worried I would call Oliver? After everything, he should know me better than that. I’m beginning to wonder if he trusts me at all.
Probably noticing my frustration, Janice continues. “It was actually really sweet, Ely. He was frantic and I’m sure it took a lot for him to call me.”
Feeling my face heat in embarrassment, I apologize knowing how selfish I must look. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I never meant for you to get involved.” The look of her generous smile is almost too much. I really can trust her. “Thank you for letting me stay over, Janice. I guess I didn’t realize how much I drank until, well, it was just too much.”
“Don’t worry about it, really. Though I will say, it was odd having him call me at one in the morning,” she ponders. “I’m used to phone calls from him being on a completely different level.” Trying to distract myself, I sip my coffee. The warmth feels good as the liquid travels down my aching throat. Thinking about the mess we’re in, I’m still in disbelief he called Janice. “If it’s any consolation, he sounded beside himself. He couldn’t stop apologizing for calling so late, saying that I was his last resort. Seriously, he must care for you an awful lot. I’ve never seen him even blink at another woman in the past two years.”
I nod as tears start to build in my eyes. I can’t let her see me like this. I don’t have answers for her. Hell, I don’t even have answers for myself. Retreating to the bathroom, I stare at the blank reflection in the mirror. Grasping the edge of the sink, I attempt to pull myself together.
It’s difficult to wrap my heart around his recent behavior. At the beginning of our relationship I worried that he’d always keep me his dirty little secret. But, in reality there was never anything dirty about us. What we had…what we have is special and although his past is completely out of the norm, my heartstrings are telling me that it’s okay to feel hopeful again. However, I am afraid to let myself continue down this road. Alex called Janice. He risked someone knowing about us just to find out if I was asleep on the couch and not in Oliver’s bed. Maybe keeping us a secret is not of concern to him any longer. Now that Arianna knows, is there anyone else to keep our secret from? Wiping away my escaped tears, I know that I won’t find any answers in here. Washing my face, I head back to Janice, and to the awaiting day.
After talking for a brief moment, we make our way to our cars. “Let’s do this again.”
I laugh. “How about asking me when my head isn’t throbbing?” She smiles and nods as she gets into her car.
Knowing she’s headed towards Alex, it’s hard to watch her leave. Knowing the place we’ve put her in, I hope she can handle it.
~~~~~
Knock! Knock! Knock! The pounding against my door vibrates straight to my aching head. Even after a few hours of sleep, I’m still not feeling myself. How much did I really drink? The pounding repeats, this time with more force. Half expecting to see Alex, I drag myself to the front door, bracing myself for another torturous showdown.
Opening the door, my mouth drops open, as I’m met with fire red hair and designer sunglasses. Standing in front of me is my past colliding with my present. The wind is literally knocked out of me, and I can feel myself breaking. I’m an utter mess, physically and emotionally, as she carelessly smirks at me. Pulling down her glasses, her eyes travel over my disheveled appearance. After the past few days, I don’t dare think that I could ever look as put together as she does. Wearing a nude peplum long sleeve shirt with matching fitted skirt, her slim figure is adorned with an off white belt that hugs her waist naturally. No one pulls off professional, yet bitchy quite like Arianna.
I never really decided how I felt about her after Alex poured his soul to me about his sordid past. I was so busy figuring out my feelings for him that I forgot to consider Arianna into the equation. Yet here she is. And with that look on her face, I know I’m going to have to figure it out right now.
My Past. Yes, she was supposed to be a mother figure in my life, but I didn’t need her. I had Rachel, who filled the void since my parents passing. Instead, I always considered her more of a cool aunt. Always so prim and proper, she seemed to have her life together. I always looked up to how in control she was and how she always got what she wanted.
My Present. Now, I know what she wanted includes my heart, my Alex. How can I forget, or forgive, that she had him as well. Suddenly all the love and admiration I had for her has vanished, replaced by resentment and disdain. A knot builds in my throat at the thought of her naked in his house, throwing herself at him. I think I may puke.
“May I come in?” Holding her glasses in one hand and her cream colored Burberry purse in the other, she gestures towards the entryway. Stepping aside and holding my hand out, I allow her to come into the apartment. This has to happen, Ely. Be strong and just get his over with.
Once inside, her head moves around as she looks over my décor. “Such a cute and quaint apartment, Elyssa.” Refusing to start a conversation about my furniture, I gesture towards my couch. Terrified of what might come out, I keep my mouth shut. No, she needs to start this.
Arianna gracefully lowers herself, crossing her legs, waiting for me to say something. Under normal circumstances, I would have offered her something to drink. In this case, I’d rather pass the pleasantries and just get down to business. I know she’s not here for coffee. We remain in a staring contest for what feels like hours, but in reality it’s only a few seconds; thirty two to be exact. I was counting as I held my breath. Remaining tight lipped, I wait.
Realizing that I’m not going to speak, she sighs. Looking self-possessed, she finally instigates the conversation, and I brace myself for what’s to come. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m here.” I nod, never releasing my direct eye contact with her. She needs to know I won’t back down. Not anymore. “I imagine you know about me and Mr. James.”
Her and Mr. James? Yes, Arianna I know about you and my Alex! I know about what you did to him. I know you bought him like he was another accessory you brought out whenever you wanted and used at your own discretion. I know all about it!
“Why not skip the Mr. and Mrs. Bullshit and just call him Alex.” My words lash out like a serpent attacking its prey.
Remaining calm, Arianna proceeds, “Fine…so you know about me and Alex.” I nod, still not breaking eye contact. “I never meant for you to get hurt, Elyssa. We’ve been involved for years and sometimes things like this just happen.” Things like this? Purchasing your own boy toy happens frequently? In what world?! “He’s quite attentive and…”
“Arianna…why did you come here? I really don’t feel like hearing a play-by-play of your time together, so I’d appreciate it if you would just move it along.”
“Fine…I’ll get to the point,” she hisses. “Are you in love with him?”
Without hesitation my answer comes out like a bullet fired from a gun, “Yes.”
“Well that puts a wrinkle in things doesn’t it?” She says nonchalantly as she glances at her manicured talons.
“How so?” Suggesting she has anything to do with how I feel is absurd. She has no bearing whatsoever on who I choose to love, and if she thinks she does, she can go to hell.
“Well, I’m only trying to look out for you. You’re such a sweet, naïve girl and you shouldn’t be with this type of man. You deserve someone who’s just as inexperienced and kindhearted as you. Not someone who fucks for money.” Her words cut me, causing me to flinch. I pull myself together, and sit next to her on the couch. If I keep standing, I’m afraid she’ll bring me to my knees. She doesn’t need to see me break down.
“Think of him as an introduction to good sex. Now you know what you’re aiming for in the future.” She laughs faintly, but the conniving look on her face tells me she’s not done. “It’s
so cute that you thought you were going to be enough for him. Do you realize how many women he’s been with? Do you even know what he likes or how to get him off? He’s very kinky. Has he ever…”
ENOUGH! “I don’t need you to look out for me. I’ve been doing just fine without your help. You obviously don’t know him well, because if you did, you would know he is kind and generous, and would never purposely hurt me the way you are right now. He loves me, and you need to leave us alone!” Looking away, I blink trying to stop the threatening tears.
“He loves me! Leave us alone!” Arianna mocks my words, laughing even louder now. “Grow up. You sound like a teenager. I never imagined you would be so….so doe-eyed, falling so quickly. He can’t love you…don’t you see. He’s a whore, and whores don’t fall in love with people…they fall in love with money.” Although I’ve called Alex that same hateful word, it sounds appallingly worse coming from her dreadful mouth.
“You can’t tell me he’s been the upstanding boyfriend this entire time. Can you? Tell me there’s never been a time where he’s been absent emotionally or physically, or canceled plans on you at the last minute?” Her wicked blows are a punch in the stomach, causing doubt in my once unified front. Shit, she’s right. But, how could she know? “I can tell by the look on your face, I know I’m right.”
No matter how right she is, I know I have to stay strong. I can’t let her win. Not now, not ever! I need her to get to the point, so she can leave. I don’t want to deal with her or any of her bullshit anymore. The words explode from my lips in desperation, “What do you want from me?!”
“All I want is for you to be safe, my dear girl. I want you to be happy with the type of boy that you deserve. Someone who isn’t as tainted and troubled as Alex is. You need to stop seeing him.”
