Magicless

by K. Ferrin

  “We can’t linger here,” Elisa said quietly. “We need to continue on our journey. Is there anything you can tell us about where to find Nox Noctis and the Dark Wizard?” She asked Anet and Freen.

  “We are not lingering,” Anet replied.

  “What do you mean?” Elisa asked, glancing out at the gently swaying sea grass outside the window. Magicless followed her glance and could sense nothing indicating they were moving.

  “We are traveling?” Ashier asked, speaking aloud the question on everyone’s mind. “But I feel nothing. The town is still out there. That deep valley is still out there,” he said, motioning toward the window.

  “Yes. We are all traveling. The town and the environment around us is part of us. They are all moving with us, heading north. We are taking you as close as we can get to Nox Noctis. You will need to travel many days still to get there. But you will be much closer than you were yesterday.”

  Alekka wasted no time. “How long do we have? We need to unbind Jobin before we set off. Anet, Freen, we’ll need supplies, too, if it isn’t asking too much. We lost most of...” She trailed off, eyes vague for a moment before snapping back to the present. “Food, mostly, if you please.”

  “Of course, that is not a problem. We will help in any way we can. We can ease Jobin’s unbinding as well. Please, do not take offense, but we have seen your techniques in attempting to control others’ power. It is...well, we can do this in a manner easier for Jobin as well as ensure it is controlled before we unleash it. We must do it once we arrive, at the waterline.”

  Magicless looked up, addressing the others with effort. “What about the map—”

  “The map led you to us, Micah, and it will lead you the rest of the way to Nox Noctis once you leave us behind.”

  “Of course,” said Alekka, smiling gently at Magicless. She looked as if she understood his effort to rejoin the conversation, despite his outburst. She turned back to the others. “Now. What more can you tell us about Amentis? Do you know what the Ghosts are? We’ve always wondered if they were human or…something else,” Alekka said.

  “Yes, what do you know about Ghosts?” Leali leaned forward, eyes bright with interest. Magicless watched them all shift forward at the table in anticipation. Alekka’s face was still pale, but perfectly composed. It seemed like she’d accepted their lot and used her pain to insulate herself, make herself stronger somehow, as she’d huddled in the hall. He admired her for that. He looked at her for long moments, lost in the curve of her cheekbones, the set of her shoulders. They may not be able to touch, but he wouldn’t deny himself the simple joy of looking at her.

  “... children?” Magicless heard Leali gasp at the word and pulled his attention back to the discussion at the table.

  “How can that be?” Leali asked. “Given their size they would have to be very young, and children that young haven’t fully come to their magic yet.”

  “Ghosts don’t have magic of their own, Leali. You know the truth of this. What do you think happens to the infants taken by the Ragers during a culling? The Dark Wizard takes them before they are weaned from their mothers’ magic, while the link between mother and child is still strong. He binds them there, at that stage, keeping that channel open. They are left open that way, hungering for magic, but without a mother to provide for them. They are deprived of all other sensory input so they are consumed by that one sense, by that one hunger. That is how they find the mothers the Ragers take back to Nox Noctis. They search, always, for what was taken from them. For what might offer some relief from their constant, gnawing emptiness. They have gone mad with that hunger and know nothing but the search to fill it. They are your brothers and sisters. Just sad children looking for their mothers.”

  Magicless felt his mouth go dry at what Freen was saying. He’d always been unnerved by the Ghosts, but he suddenly felt great compassion for them and a boiling rage at the madness of the Dark Wizard. If what Freen said was true, he understood the Ghosts now. He had something in common with them. A hole at the center of his being. A gnawing hunger he’d always long to fill and be eternally unable to do so. He felt his tired heart break a little bit more for their suffering.

  “That is...those poor things,” Leali said, close to tears. “How can he do such a thing? What kind of a monster is this man?”

  “A kind never seen before and with any luck, never seen again,” Freen said.

  [ 25 ]

  Alekka slept little that night. She was warm, snugged deep into a comfortable bed, but her eyes stared wide at the ceiling and her thoughts chased themselves around her head in endless circles—thoughts filled with loss, loneliness, and fear. She tortured herself wondering if she’d paid the price already, or if there was more yet to come. She’d been so convinced the price would be here life, but this was so much worse. What if she’d been wrong all along? She was like a baby now, unable to handle the simplest of tasks. She understood so clearly now the difficulty of Micah’s life without magic. Or at least without the kind she knew.

  She could barely look at Micah, the emptiness in his eyes almost more than she could bear. When she considered the possibility of a greater price yet to pay and what that might do to him—she refused to even think on it. She’d be unable to do what she needed to do if she did.

  Finally she pushed the covers back, dressed, and made her way to the kitchen. She was unsurprised to see she was not the first one there. Anet and Freen were both already bustling about putting food together and stuffing warm clothing and blankets into large packs. Tredon was sitting at the table as well, steaming mug grasped tightly in both hands, dark circles under his red-rimmed eyes.

  She helped herself to some tea and sat down next to Tredon. She reached out and clasped one of his hands in her own. She could not remove his burden of guilt, but she could try and let him know that she herself held no blame for him.

  The others trickled in, and by the time the watery light of dawn began staining the windows of the house everyone was gathered and everything was packed and ready.

  “Are we there, Anet?” Alekka asked.

  “Yes. We’ve been here since very late last night. That light you see through those windows is direct sunlight,” he said with a soft smile. “We come up to the surface often to see the sun. It is a glorious thing.”

  Alekka nodded. “Well. We might as well get on our way, don’t you think?” She asked, looking at her companions. They were all clearly worn. Tired. Faces pale and drawn. When they’d left Aclay they’d been full of spirit and ready to change the world, despite—or perhaps because of—the destruction they were leaving behind. Now she would bet every one of them wanted nothing more than to be back in Aclay with this whole thing behind them.

  “We can leave whenever you are ready,” Freen said.

  Jobin rose to his feet and grabbed up a pack. “I’m ready. Let’s get on the road.”

  Alekka smiled at him despite herself. He would be unbound this morning. She rose as well, and the others followed. They stepped outside and huddled close together while Freen waved a bubble around them once again. They were on the surface of an enormous body of water without any land as far as Alekka could see. The surface of the water was choppy, like a lake on a stormy day, but their bubble traveled smoothly, lightly skimming along the surface.

  It took them close to an hour before Alekka saw a slightly darker line along the horizon. “Is that it?” She asked.

  Freen nodded. “This is as close as we can go, I’m afraid, but you are much closer than before. I must warn you, it is cold here. The sun might be shining brilliantly in the sky, but do not let that fool you. It is like nothing you’ve ever experienced down in the southern lands. We packed the warmest clothes we have, and a lot of them.”

  “I’ve read about the cold and how deep the snow can get in the far north. Stories of people’s breath freezing to ice even as it leaves their bodies. I half thought it was just exaggerations,” Leali said.

  “Many tall tales have within
them a kernel of truth, and so it is with this. The snow is deep and people can freeze to death here.”

  “Great,” Ashier said. “I hate the winter in Aclay, and we barely see more than a few inches of snow on the ground.”

  Leali smacked him soundly on the back. “Be good for you, Ash. Try something new.”

  His mouth twisted in a wry smile and he rolled his eyes at her. It was good to see someone smiling.

  The bubble bumped up against the sandy bottom of the shoreline, and Anet waved it away. They stood on land that none of them had ever stood on before. On land that perhaps no one other than Amentis himself and his minions had stood on for centuries. A chill crept along Alekka’s flesh that had nothing to do with the cold air around them.

  She hefted a couple of the packs to her back and walked far up onto the beach. She had no powers now. She could not defend herself if Jobin’s unbinding didn’t go well, and she wanted to be well away from the mages. She dropped the packs to the ground and took a seat on one of them. Micah followed her up the beach and dropped a couple more packs at her feet. He smiled at her and then took up a position halfway between her and the mages gathering at the shoreline. It chafed that she needed protecting now. She bent her head against the biting breeze and watched Anet and Freen.

  Jobin leaned back until he was lying flat on his back, held nested in a warm bubble of air that floated atop the frigid water. The water was restless all around them, but Jobin was still. Anet and Freen leaned over him, their hands resting on his stomach, his chest, and the top of his head.

  “Wait.”

  Alekka looked at Leali who stood a couple feet away from Jobin’s feet. She saw Jobin open his eyes and look at her, as well.

  “I don’t think we should do this,” she said. Alekka moved swiftly across the beach that separated her from the others, Micah on her heels.

  “He is ready, Leali. He should be unbound,” Alekka said.

  “How do we know he’s ready, really, though?” Leali replied.

  “I’ve been training him. We’ve been spending our early mornings preparing, and he is ready, I am absolutely certain,” Alekka said.

  Jobin was sitting up and looking at Leali. His face flushed. “What are you saying, Leali?” He asked.

  “Look. I get that he...you, are very powerful. But...well, there’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to spit it out. We all know what happened when you were a kid—”

  “Leali, he is a child no longer. Believe me, he is ready. If you don’t believe Alekka, believe me,” Elisa said. “He’s gone out every day for months now, with Alekka and Micah.”

  “Wait.” Tredon jumped in. “What does Magicl—Micah have to do with this?” He asked.

  Alekka glanced at Micah, suppressing a groan. Now the trouble would begin. She’d hoped to avoid this.

  “Micah has helped greatly with his training, Tredon,” Alekka said.

  “What do you mean he’s helped with the training? He’s not a mage. He’s never been trained as a mage. It may be that he has power of sorts, but given his own lack of training how could he possibly help?”

  Tredon sounded calm, but clearly unconvinced. Alekka wondered if his long-held feelings of derision regarding Micah’s swordwork would linger on despite his recent change of heart toward Micah himself. Alekka took a deep breath. “We used Micah’s sword forms to train Jobin. He is a warrior mage, and he needed a different way to train his mind instead of just sitting in silent contemplation.”

  Leali burst into the conversation. “Just sitting in silent contemplation? But that’s how we train mages, Alekka, not through some stupid movements and swinging a stick around. What is wrong with you?” Alekka revised her earlier conclusion about Tredon being the challenge and focused her attention on Leali.

  “That is how some mages are trained, Leali. Not all. Think of Justin the Gray, or Liana Sanger, both legendary mages and both trained using active meditation. This way is just as valid as your way,” Alekka said.

  “Look, I know how you all feel about me, but those forms work. I designed them as a way to escape,” Micah said, voice steady but eyes alight. “You all kept me on the outside, and I poured all the anger and frustration I felt at that over all those years into those forms. They are an escape, but they are also discipline, they are focus, and they work.”

  Tredon looked at him wonderingly, but Leali didn’t shift her focus at all. “How would you know? You have never undergone any mage training. You know nothing of it, Micah. Alekka, I’m surprised at you. Besides, it’s not just the training,” Leali continued. “It’s not just what happened with his mother. I—” She paused, looking at Jobin again. Alekka wondered what passed between them. “I saw what happened in Aclay. Locke was killed because Jobin couldn’t act—was too afraid to act.”

  Alekka saw Jobin’s eyes widen and his face flush scarlet. “I am not a coward. I was not afraid to act to save Locke. I was afraid I’d lose control and hurt others.”

  “Which is just what you did, Jobin. I’m sorry, I know this is hard, but it’s the truth, and we all know it. You are dangerous, and no matter what benefit we might see from it, we should not unbind you. At least not yet.”

  “Leali, we need all the help we can get. Unbinding Jobin carries some risk with it, I have to acknowledge that,” Elisa said, her hand resting on Jobin’s arm in support, “but Anet and Freen have said they can ensure his magic is tamed before they unbind him, and I’ve seen the changes those forms have wrought in him. He is ready. We need to unbind him.”

  “Even if what you say is true, it would do us no good if he is afraid to use his power. You have no way of knowing how deep his discipline has grown. For all we know, the first time he uses his power he’ll be right back where he was in Aclay, either too afraid to use it or consumed by it to the point he ends up killing every one of us.”

  “He is not a coward, Leali.”

  “How would you know, Elisa? You are blinded by your feelings—don’t act like that’s not what this is about!”

  “Stop talking about me as if I’m not right here,” Jobin said, obviously struggling to keep his voice down.

  “How dare you!” Elisa spat back at Leali. “You don’t know anything of what has grown between Jobin and I, and how dare you imply otherwise?”

  “Only because this isn’t the first time. If you were not so love-sopped, you’d see it, too. He is too unpredictable and too dangerous to unbind, we all know it!”

  Magicless stared, dumbfounded at the accusations whirling around him. He looked at Jobin, who seemed to crumble in front of his eyes, deflating and collapsing in on himself. He tried to interject. “But I...I did act. I did. I killed several Ragers. I’m not a coward, I just...I didn’t want to hurt any of you.”

  But the others were not paying him any mind, too deeply entrenched in their own arguments. Magicless tried to break in and rein in the ballooning conflict but they refused to acknowledge him as well.

  Anet and Freen had remained as they were, hands on Jobin, throughout the entire scene. Magicless saw them exchange a look, bow their heads briefly, and then step back from Jobin. He wondered at the gesture, but before he could ask the two began moving deeper into the water.

  “We have brought you as far as we can,” Anet said, cutting off everyone’s arguments. “If you are in need of us, call us, and we will come if we are able. Place your hands in any river or lake or stream and call to us by name. We will come if we can. We believe in you—all of you.”

  “Wait,” Magicless said, waving at them both. “What did you do?”

  They waved back but did not stop to answer his question. They sank from view and were gone. He felt something beside him and he turned to find Alekka there, watching the rings spreading from where Freen and Anet had just sank from view.

  “Did you see that?” He asked her.

  “Yes,” she replied. The argument had picked up around them again, and Jobin seemed as if he were trying to sink into the water as Anet and F
reen had done just seconds before.

  “I think they unbound him,” Alekka said quietly.

  “I think so, too. Should we say anything?”

  “No. Most definitely not. It will become apparent when the need arises.”

  He nodded to himself, wondering at how they were going to fix the rift Leali had just opened.

  “Enough bickering! Stop it, now!” Ashier’s voice literally exploded in the air around them, huge like thunder during a winter storm, finally silencing the argument raging around them. After a moment, he continued in his normal, measured voice. “We have a job to do, and we cannot afford a rift like this in the group. Anet and Freen have gone, leaving the unbinding to us. We will decide on this later after we have discussed our options as adults, not bickering children.” He looked pointedly at Leali and Elisa.

  The two women subsided, but the fire did not fade from their eyes. Ashier was right, Magicless knew, but he was not so sure Leali and Elisa agreed. He glanced at Alekka at Ashier’s words about the unbinding, but they said nothing.

  They walked all that day in silence. Elisa stayed at the front of the group, keeping a harsh pace and slamming her feet into the ground in silent frustration with every step. Jobin straggled far behind and Magicless lingered back beside him. He wished there was something he could do to heal this rift but he couldn’t help feel that their companionship was irreparably damaged. Jobin’s humiliation was complete. If Magicless had been in his shoes he’d of course be furious at Leali and deeply shamed at her accusations, but he’d also be frustrated with Elisa. Her supposed her defense of him could only deepen the shame and create more embarrassment about the whole thing. He hoped that simply being in physical proximity to one another would be enough to patch things up.