Picayune

by John DeJordy

  Phineas reached into his tail and yanked out a large spirit rock. “With this!”

  The hawks stood with blank looks on their faces.

  Phineas arrogantly pointed at Maharajah. “You there, release us!”

  Maharajah drifted up to a perch set high on the wall and pulled a lever. The metal bars ground as they disappeared into the ceiling. After they disappeared, he plummeted back down and stared at the glowing rock.

  “Let's have them fly us out of here,” Phineas gloated.

  Picayune snatched the rock from Phineas' hand and shoved it into one of his pouches. Using his paw on the outside of the bag to grab the stone, he held it so he could remove his paw.

  Maharajah blinked a few times before squawking at Picayune's group. He puffed out his chest. “How dare you! I will have you dropped from the pinnacle of Rangy Mountain! I will have the crows pluck out your eyes! I will…”

  Maharani placed her wing on her husband's shoulder, calming him. “Perhaps, dear, we should sit down like civilized creatures and discuss things.”

  Azure-Bound flapped her wings. “I will show him around!” Before her parents could reply, she wrapped one of her wings around Picayune and walked him out the only exit. Picayune peeked back and saw all of his pals shrug their shoulders.

  Picayune walked with Azure-Bound down the spiraling hall. Each plateau had rooms and paths leading off in different directions. He marveled at the bright, bold colors on the walls.

  After descending many levels, Picayune lost count. He was about to say something when his escort spoke.

  “Here we go!” she announced, going down one of the paths.

  Picayune cleared his voice. “Is there meaning to the way the colors are arranged?”

  Azure-Bound chirped happily before answering. “Yes, but I am afraid you couldn't understand unless you were a hawk like me.”

  “Oh,” Picayune said, disappointed in the answer he’d received.

  Azure-Bound lightly placed her wing on the leaf-shaped door, swung it open, and pushed Picayune into the brightly-lit space. “Here we go! This is the most exciting place here. It's my room!” She landed on the perch, and took a long drink from a dispenser.

  Picayune tried leaping to the perch, but couldn’t reach. “You seem different now.”

  She looked surprised by his bold statement. “Now, as compared to when?”

  Tilting his head to one side, Picayune shrugged. “You seemed more menacing when you were flying.”

  Azure-Bound drifted around the room a few times to view her belongings before landing in front of Picayune. “Of course. When I fly, I have younger wings under my care. They have to do what I say or someone might get hurt. Can't get obedience if you are lax. But here, I can be me! Wouldn't it be great if you stayed here? You could be my pet and I would take care of you and feed you and put papers down for you.”

  Picayune put his paws up and tried not to show his disdain. “Azure-Bound, I am not some pet. I have things to do with my life. I can't live in a cage, no matter how nice. I have to go save someone. She is very important to me.”

  Azure-Bound scooped Picayune up in a big wing hug. “Awww, my mousey in love?”

  Wiggling in her hold, Picayune tried pushing away. “Azure, please! Ameera is a friend and in trouble. I need to help her. You can understand that, can't you?”

  She hugged him tight and rubbed her cheek over his muzzle. “I can, sweetie.” She placed him on the ground.

  Picayune picked a feather off his chest. “Now, why do you fight the badgers, anyway?”

  Azure-Bound snickered as she pointed to the ceiling. “Didn't the badger tell you?”

  Picayune looked up, trying to see what the hawk was pointing at before turning back to her. “He didn't, but could you?”

  Azure-Bound squatted on the floor in front of Picayune. “We actually had cordial relations at one time. But their queen developed affection for my father that he couldn't return. After all, he was already with my mother. The queen felt spurned and became bitter. When our envoy came – like every week – they were attacked. My father approached and tried to reason with her, but she swiped at him, and if it weren’t for his quick reflexes, he probably would have been decapitated. As it was, the queen left a scar on him, marring his perfect face. From there, things just broke down.” She bowed her head.

  Placing his paw on her, he spoke with care. “We will fix it. Come on, let's see your parents.”

  Picayune squeaked when he was picked up and hugged tightly. “I knew you were special.” She put him down and led them to the throne room.

  Picayune stepped into the room, amazed by the large, domed ceiling with multi-hued veins of colors painting an amazing landscape. As he looked around, he noticed the circular room was lined with columns. Every other one had a lit torch. In the center of the room were two large chairs, decorated with gems and other baubles. Both of Azure-Bound's parents were seated.

  Maharani motioned for them to approach. “So what news do you have for us?”

  “Your Majesties, I am sure you realize the power behind the spirit rocks. The badgers have been forcing their prisoners to mine them.”

  Maharajah ruffled his feathers and settled in his chair. “So, did you have a hand in this gathering, too?”

  Picayune took a deep breath. “Yes.”

  “So, you have aided our enemies?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why shouldn't I just kill you all?” Maharajah slammed his wing down on the side of the throne.

  “We were hoping you would consider making peace with them.”

  Maharajah pounced, pressing Picayune down with his chest. “Are you insane? That can never happen while their queen is alive!”

  Azure-Bound wrapped her wings around her father and pulled him off of Picayune. “Dad, please listen!”

  Picayune leapt to his feet and untied the pouch at his side. He held the bag up. “Then you want to be slaves to them instead?”

  Maharajah flung his daughter harshly into one of the lit columns. He snatched the pouch, tossed it into the air to his side, and stalked toward Picayune on his feet. “I will eliminate both the badgers and you vermin.”

  Azure-Bound yelled in pain and grabbed her wing. “Ow!”

  Maharani jumped down to her husband. “Dear, calm down!”

  Phineas ran to a column, removed the torch, and moved over to Picayune. He spun the torch in small circles, drawing the icy glare of Maharajah and Maharani.

  Picayune ignored the approaching hawk and watched the bag's strings catch the shaft of the torch. The strings twined tightly around the torch and the pouch landed in the fire. He bolted to Azure-Bound's side and attempted to hoist her up. He only managed to get a few feet, however, before the lit bag fell to the ground and exploded, leaving a huge hole in the ground, revealing the lower floor of the castle far below. The rim of the hole caught Azure-Bound's body and she started to fall, but Picayune kept a firm grasp on her and held her teetering on the edge.

  Phineas kept Maharajah watching him, even with the explosions and cries for help.

  Maharajah screeched and puffed his chest out, hopping away from the fire. “Keep it up, pest, you are amusing me with your courage.”

  Picayune's heart was racing. He felt his feet slipping. “Trailblazer, HELP!”

  Trailblazer ran to Picayune's side and looked into the female hawk's eyes. The look of fright on her face caused him to pause.

  Picayune grunted and struggled. His grip was firm, but he was losing the battle due to her sheer size.

  Taking in a deep breath, Trailblazer leaned down and grabbed Azure-Bound under the wings just as Picayune lost his grip. With a mighty heave, he pulled her up, but the movement kept him going and he landed on his back, cradling Azure-Bound in his arms.

  “Oh, thank you, thank you,” Azure-Bound told Trailblazer as she nuzzled and hugged him, causing him to wince and blush.

  Phineas replaced the torch in its holder. “Perhaps you should tend to yo
ur daughter.”

  Maharani and Maharajah moved over to their daughter, who was still showing her affection for the badger.

  Looking at Picayune, Maharajah huffed then sighed. “I will consider your words, brave Picayune. You have shown me much this day. And as for you, badger, I am in your debt. For now, go to your room and rest. I will have food prepared for you.”

  Trailblazer rose cautiously with Azure-Bound still in his arms and looked into her eyes again. “Are you alright?”

  Azure-Bound gazed into the badger’s face. “I am now.”

  Maharani escorted the group to their room where a dozen straw beds had already been arranged. “Tomorrow will be a big day for everyone.”

  As Maharani was leaving, four hawks dove in carrying pots of steamed vegetables and sweetened fruits in their talons.

  Picayune grabbed a plate for himself and claimed one of the beds. After gobbling a large portion, he leaned back and drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter 17

  The knight held his head as he spit out the vile taste in his mouth. When he blinked his eyes open, he realized he was on the floor of the medicine man's house looking up at his face. “What happened?”

  “Apparently, you lived. You must have a stomach like an orc. Or perhaps the poison was meant for orcs and just wasn't strong enough to do anything to you, human.”

  “Oh, the poison was for me.”

  A gruff voice behind him said, “How can you be so sure?”

  Picayune wobbled to his feet and faced Victor, who was sitting in the over-sized chair. “Because, Victor, it was one of the king's assassins.”

  Victor rose to his feet as the medicine man walked in front of the knight. Victor spoke first. “So, he declares war on us?”

  “I will deal with the king, but it appears to be morning, so let's conduct our business.”

  Victor nodded and walked to the front door. “Follow me and we will talk.”

  Picayune stood up straight as he watched Mundunugu. “Thank you, once again, for your aid.”

  Mundunugu waved his hand, “This time, you have yourself to thank. But know that you have earned my respect, Picayune. Farewell.”

  Picayune grasped the medicine man's wrist and shook while nodding, then followed Victor out the door.

  They moved through the quiet streets without saying anything until they came to a two-story building on the other side of the town.

  Victor opened the door and stood in the hall. “I'm home!”

  Two small orcs bounced down the stairs and into his arms. “Papa!”

  Picayune stepped inside and closed the door.

  Victor returned with a male and female orc in his arms. “Picayune, this is Brusque and little lady is Savoir-faire.”

  Brusque simply grunted. “Hey.”

  Savoir-faire giggled and moved her head side to side. “For a human, he is sort of handsome. Pleased to meet you.”

  Victor put his children down. “Green Beans, outside. We have business to finish.”

  “Yes, Papa,” they chimed and ran out the hall’s back door.

  Picayune slapped Victor on the back. “I didn't know you had children.”

  “What? I can't have whelps?” Victor walked into a side room.

  Picayune followed him without responding into what looked like a study. A bookcase lined the left wall while a few tables and a small bar were on the right. In the center was a large, redwood desk.

  Victor sat at his desk and motioned to his left. “Want a drink?”

  Picayune looked at the various bottles on the bar, picking one up at random. “Elvish Wine?”

  “First rule: comfort those you might do business with.”

  Picayune replaced the bottle and sat down. “Well now, might as well get down to why I have come. I want you to leave the humans alone.”

  Victor leaned back in his chair. “Not like we haven't tried, but they constantly attacking us and invading our lands.”

  Picayune didn't try to suppress his look of surprise. “What do you mean?”

  “Your king is the savage here, not us. Why would he send assassin if he not savage?”

  “That is true. What would be the ideal solution?”

  “We mind our own and he minds his own.”

  “In order to ratify this peace agreement in a formal, written proclamation, I'd suggest we'd meet in Stonehaven.”

  “Stonehaven? The Dwarven Town? Why?”

  “For one, it is neutral. For another, I know they don't care for the human king. They would be fair. During one of my visits to his kingdom, an earthquake occurred. I pulled the dwarf king out of the way of a statue that was crashing to the ground. Since then, we’ve been friends, sharing fine food and grand tales. If I asked him, he would.”

  Victor rotated his chair and looked out the window at his children. “You have children, Picayune?”

  Picayune shook his head. “No. I never had the time to settle down.”

  “That's too bad. They are everything to me. There is nothing I not do for them. If you think you can get your king to yield, then I will agree to this meeting.”

  “Excellent. I would ask you to tell your patrols to not attack humans unless assaulted by them first.”

  “I can do that.”

  “Once I have finished with all of my business, I'd like to be able to return.”

  “You are champion. You'd be expected to return.”

  “Then I should be off. It will take me a while to get back.”

  Victor stood and pushed his chair back. “Follow me,” he told Picayune and walked to the hall without waiting for a reply.

  Picayune followed. “Any chance you have a messenger ball?”

  Victor nodded and walked back into the den. Moments later, he emerged. “Here. On house.”

  Picayune rolled the crystal in his fingers, causing it to glow. He brought it to his lips. “To Gunthar Firebeard, Stonehaven from Picayune. It is urgent I meet with you to discuss the possibility of hosting a diplomatic conference between the human king and the orcs.” Picayune moved the bauble to the center of his hand, then crushed it. Magical rays of energy from the device enveloped his hand, illuminating the room in a soft red before shooting out the door.

  Victor walked into the yard.

  As Picayune followed him, he glanced over at Victor's children. They were playing and horsing around. “I never would have pictured this scene if I didn't see it with my own eyes.”

  Victor stopped at his barn door and looked to see what Picayune was describing. “What? My whelps playing?”

  “Any orc children playing. Figured they'd be in military training.”

  “That comes later. For now, whelps are whelps.”

  Victor opened the faded barn doors and stepped inside. After making some noise, he led out a large, black and spotty green lizard, already saddled. “This is a gizzo. His name is Hazard.”

  Picayune walked to the creature, who backed away. The knight put his hands up and slowed his pace. He reached for the crest behind the head and rubbed. He traced his hand down the spiked neck and past the saddle, where the spikes continued to the tip of the tail. “I've never ridden one before. Will he listen?”

  Tossing a satchel at Picayune's feet, Victor chortled. “He will follow your commands if you give him some of those treats along the way.”

  Picayune opened the bag and had to hold his breath before the full effects of the stink fruit hit him. “He eats that?” he asked through gritted teeth.

  “Yes, but only give him one every so often.”

  Picayune tied the bag to the saddle and went to Victor. Grasping his arm in a shake, he pulled hard. “Until the next time we meet.”

  “Huzzah!” Victor shouted, pulling back with the same strength before releasing.

  The knight vaulted into the saddle and kicked the mount on the side. Hazard hissed and looked back at his rider. Picayune thought for a moment. “Onward!”

  Hazard shrieked, then jumped the fence and bolted to the gat
e. Picayune clamped his hands on the horn of the saddle as his mount tore through the trees at break-neck speed. They broke through the tree line and into the field in a little less than an hour. The sun was almost setting when they crested the last rise.

  Picayune yelled, “Halt!” and stared in disbelief. There were four battalions of armed men and two squadrons of mounted troops forming up in front of the castle. His fingers traced the clasp of the bag before diving in and removing two pieces. He tossed them in front of his lizard, which gobbled them down greedily. Grasping the front of the saddle, he yelled for Hazard to move again. The gizzo reared up before tearing the ground under its clawed feet as it approached the gates of the castle. The bits of debris tossed up as a result of the reckless movement stung Picayune’s face, but he ignored the pain. His eyes narrowed in on his target.

  A general alarm sounded as he approached, but before any of the bowmen made ready, the knight galloped across the wooden drawbridge. He jumped from the saddle and hastened his step past the gate, shoving the steward, Charles, aside as he made his way to the war room.

  The king and the three men with him glanced up as Picayune proceeded to the massive table littered with maps and scrolls. “Out!” he commanded when four armed guards rushed into the room.

  The king nodded at the surprised men. “Everyone leave us!” Once everyone had departed and the doors were shut, the king snarled at the knight. “How dare you?”

  Picayune marched over to the king and leaned in until they were nose to nose. “How dare I? How dare you! You send me on a mission, and then violate your oath by sending an assassin?”

  “I swore no oath to you that I wouldn't continue to try to eliminate the problem. When your horse returned alone, I assumed you had been killed. The assassin would have solved my problem.”

  “I have solved your problem.”

  “Pshaw! And how did you manage to do that?”

  “You are to travel to Stonehaven to sign a peace treaty with the orcs.”

  “Peace? You should have eliminated them, not made peace. You violated your oath to me!”

  “If you remember, Your Majesty, I promised to take care of your problem. The orcs have agreed to stop aggression toward humans. I was the one to set up the meeting so no one is misunderstood. I chose Stonehaven. It is a neutral location.”