Don't Break This Kiss (Top Shelf Romance Book 5)

by Jessica Hawkins

  Lola tried to keep her thoughts from her face, but Beau looked as if he knew everything. She forced herself to see past the amount. It didn’t matter whether this was about her specifically, because introducing money turned her from a person to a product. A service. The suggestion that she could be bought was a betrayal of her short but powerful time with Beau.

  Beau raised his chin just noticeably. “What you’re worth depends on whom you ask,” he said to her. “If you want to know what you’re worth to him, ask him his counteroffer. If you want to know what you’re worth to me, bring me that counteroffer.” He reached into his breast pocket and placed his card on the bar. “In case you change your minds,” he said before walking away.

  “We won’t,” she said.

  He paused a moment then turned around. “Earlier, before we were interrupted, you asked me my opinion. I was going to say that you’re captivating. You’ve held my attention from the start.”

  It wasn’t until the door closed behind Beau that Lola lost the strength that’d been holding her together. Her legs trembled as she turned around to face Johnny. She put her face into his T-shirt. It smelled like him. She would never not know his scent. When she didn’t feel his arms around her, she looked up into his face. His expressions were more familiar to her than her own, but this was one she didn’t recognize.

  “How could you say that?” he asked through his teeth.

  She blinked at him a few times and took a step back. “What did I say?”

  “‘You won’t win’? I was a second from pummeling him. Thanks for the vote of fucking confidence.”

  “Johnny, seriously? A fistfight? You’re above that.”

  “Were we just in the same room?” he asked incredulously. “Did you not hear what he said?”

  “Of course I heard. But it’s not worth it. You’re of more use to me here than in a jail cell. Or worse—a hospital bed.”

  “That’s not why you stopped me,” he said. “You didn’t think I could take him.”

  Lola raked her fingers through her hair. She had too much on her mind to be stroking Johnny’s ego. “Everything happened so fast. If you’d seen the look in his eyes—”

  “I did. I was standing right in front of him.”

  She shook her head quickly. “You didn’t see what I saw. I said that to protect you. One or both of you could’ve gotten really hurt. You don’t know his background. He could be dangerous.”

  “Don’t ever get in the middle like that again,” he said. “You could’ve been the one hurt. I don’t need you to protect me.”

  Vero came out from the backroom, whistling with her bag swinging over her arm. “You guys ready to lock up? The others went out the back, and I got somewhere to be.”

  “Yeah, let’s get the fuck out of here,” Johnny muttered, walking to the front to shut out the lights.

  “What’d the suit want?” Vero asked. “He going to make an offer?”

  “No,” Lola snapped, already headed the opposite direction to get her purse from the back. When she returned, the bar was dark and empty. She heard Johnny start the car. On her way out, she remembered Beau’s card on the counter. She went back to throw it away—it was the last thing she wanted to see when they came in the next day.

  It was gone.

  Lola rubbed her wrist where her watch had been. Johnny brushed his teeth so hard, she heard the whole thing from where she sat on the edge of their bed.

  It was always the normal-looking guys who were deranged. Given her past, she could usually spot them, but this guy, Beau—who seemed to be things she wasn’t used to, like charming and refined—that level of depravity on a guy like him surprised her.

  The ride home had been quiet. She’d gone over her brief conversations with Beau for any clue of what was to come. The only thing out of the ordinary was his sudden coldness toward her at the end when she wouldn’t accept his tip.

  She’d apologized to Johnny right before they’d gotten out of the car, but he’d sullenly ignored her. Her mind had still been playing catch up. Something in particular had nagged at her—she just couldn’t figure out what.

  The faucet stopped and Johnny came out of the ensuite bathroom in his boxers. He leaned in the doorway with his arms crossed. “What interrupted you?”

  “What?” Lola asked.

  He sighed irritably as if she’d checked out of a conversation she hadn’t known they were having. “He said you guys were interrupted before he could say you were ‘captivating.’ What interrupted you?”

  “It was early in the night,” she said, swallowing. “I don’t really remember.”

  “Try,” he said.

  Lola glanced at her hands. Beau had been standing across from her with his loosened tie and easy grin. Earlier. Before he’d become visibly stiff in those last moments. What had he said to her? That it was hard to get his attention, but that she had it. Such bold disregard for her relationship excited her more than it should. Nobody she knew went after anything that way—except maybe her before she’d settled down with Johnny. “I think he was trying to…to flirt with me, I guess, but you came out from the back,” Lola said. “That’s when I introduced you. He was being a little forward.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve thrown him out.”

  “Because I can handle myself,” she said. “Besides, you told me to flirt with him at the end of the night.”

  “Not really flirt,” Johnny said tersely. “I meant in a way that he thinks you’re flirting but you’re really not. Whatever.” He pushed off the doorjamb. “So did you give him a reason to make that offer?”

  “Johnny,” she scolded. “It’s me. The woman you love and who loves you back.” She waited, hoping his expression would clear a little. “Of course I didn’t give him a reason. The whole thing was stupid.”

  “Come here,” he said.

  “What?”

  “I said come over here.”

  She stood slowly and went to him. He took her chin and kissed her. Her upper lip pinched between their teeth, and she jerked back. “Johnny, stop. We need to talk about this.”

  “Later,” he said. With a hand on her shoulder, he gently nudged her toward the bed.

  “It’s four in the morning.”

  “Yeah.” He pulled her against him by her hips and kissed her again. He ran his hand down her backside and squeezed. “Right now, you know what I want.”

  She knew. Most of the time when they had sex, it was after she and Johnny had fallen into bed, or in the late morning when they woke up. Once in a while, though, Johnny got really worked up, and then he liked her on her hands and knees.

  She turned around willingly. When Johnny had his rare urges, he didn’t fight them, and she didn’t want him to. Those were the times he went absolutely crazy for her.

  She climbed onto the bed in only a long T-shirt. He lifted it up and grabbed her ass in both hands. He rubbed against her. She dropped her forehead toward the mattress as he entered her. His first few thrusts were long and slow as she warmed up to him, but they soon turned quick and hard. It normally took time for her to climax from penetration alone, but she almost always did this way. She became putty in his hands to know he was so consumed, he couldn’t even bother with foreplay.

  “That’s it. Damn, Lo,” Johnny said. “You feel good.”

  She gasped. “Right there. Don’t stop.”

  “You like that?” He ran a hand up her back, then grabbed her hips and pulled her into his next thrust. “Like it hard, baby? How’s that for fucking flirting?”

  Her breath caught. He was thinking of Beau, which made her think of Beau. “What?”

  Johnny pulled out and slid himself up between her cheeks.

  “Johnny—”

  “Please, babe. Just for a minute. I need this.”

  “No,” she said. She had no interest in anal, especially when Johnny was like this.

  He breathed out some complaint she didn’t catch and was inside her again as if he’d never left.


  Beau had been planted in her mind, though—his flirtatious, lopsided smile.

  His sexy red tie, sexy five o’clock shadow, sexy, sexy, sexy—and she was so sure he had a nice, big cock to back up that suggestive grin.

  Oh, God. Yes.

  Maybe he’d even wear his suit while fucking her from behind, too eager to bother undressing.

  Yes! Just like that.

  He’d pull her hair and tell her how badly he’d wanted her from the moment he’d laid eyes on her.

  Lola toppled into a vicious climax as Beau’s image seared into her memory. Almost as quickly, guilt flooded in. Johnny didn’t last much longer.

  After he’d come, he smoothed a hand over her backside and up her back. He squeezed her shoulder. “You good?”

  “Yes,” she said. She was breathless, not from her orgasm, but because she’d never thought about another man while she was with Johnny. Ever.

  When he pulled out, she practically ran to bathroom. She locked the door behind her, turned and confronted herself in the mirror. It was a serious crime, yes. But it wasn’t even her fault. Johnny had brought Beau into bed with them. There were worse things. She was only human. In the desperate moments before an orgasm, there were no rules. It was what she’d needed to cross the finish line—the thought of Beau inside her. Her sensitive clit was already throbbing again.

  She forced herself to calm down so she could return to the bedroom. Johnny sat with his back against the headboard and his long legs extended in front of him. He knew. The look on his face said everything. He had to know she’d been thinking of Beau in their most intimate moment.

  “So if he was flirtatious with you before I met him, that means he had his eye on you from the beginning,” Johnny said. “Right?”

  Lola hid her relief that he didn’t suspect she’d been fantasizing. She took a tentative step toward the bed. This was a conversation best had once they’d slept on things, but Johnny didn’t look like he wanted to wait. “I guess,” Lola said. “Unless he was just there looking for anyone.”

  “What about your dart game? Did he say anything then?”

  She rolled her lips together and shook her head.

  “Because he made a weird comment during pool that I ignored, but now it makes more sense.”

  “What comment?” Lola asked, edging closer and sitting at his feet.

  “He asked if I kept Amanda around to make myself feel good. Right in front of her.”

  Lola caught her laugh before it escaped. It reminded her of something Veronica would say if Lola’d ever let her. It became less funny, though, when she wondered what would make an outsider like Beau even ask that. “Amanda does flirt with you,” Lola said.

  Johnny shrugged. “It’s Amanda. She’s just like that. You’ve said it doesn’t bother you enough to get rid of her.”

  “It doesn’t, because I know you. I know us. Give me the same credit, and don’t hold me to a double standard about the flirting.”

  He waved a dismissive hand. “Amanda’s harmless. I wouldn’t even notice if she stopped showing up for work, except that we’d be one person short.”

  “So Beau made a couple harmless comments too. I can handle myself. You were nearby if I needed you.”

  “You’re comparing him to Amanda?”

  Lola sighed. “Just to show that it was no big deal until it was. So what’d you say when Beau asked you that?”

  “I said no, I keep her around because she’s a good waitress. Then he looked at you and said I already had the best waitress around, so why the fuck would I need anyone else? He actually said fuck, like he was pissed or something. Amanda sulked, then it was my turn to shoot and that was the end of it.”

  “I don’t get it,” Lola said, shaking her head. “Nobody in their right mind would pay that much for one night of anything, even sex. Do you think he was being serious?”

  Johnny sat forward on the bed. “He wanted to get laid. He’s got money to burn. Must’ve figured we were hard up for cash and low on decency.”

  No matter how Lola looked at it, it didn’t add up. A man like that wouldn’t have any problem getting women. Even if he did, there were not-so-secret secret call girl services for men with his kind of money. She’d known a girl or two who’d been through that. “Maybe he has a very specific taste,” Lola murmured.

  “For what?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe I’m his type.”

  Johnny had calmed down. She could sense it with him, but it never took him long to return to his easygoing self. He held out his hand and beckoned her. She moved to sit on her knees next to him.

  “You know I think you’re the most beautiful girl in five states. I see the way guys look at you when you’re waiting tables. Great figure, nice tits.”

  “Nice?”

  “Incredible, babe.”

  “What’re you getting at?” she asked.

  “Nothing. I just don’t think that’s enough to pay for one night what I don’t even make in a decade.”

  Lola finally pinpointed what’d been bothering her on the ride home—Beau’s insinuation that Johnny could put a dollar amount on Lola. He’d suggested a counteroffer as if one existed and they just hadn’t found it yet. “How much would you say I’m worth then?” Lola asked.

  Johnny took her arm and pulled her forward. She leaned in for a more intimate moment than they’d had all night. “Don’t take it that way,” he said, kissing her once on the lips. “I respect you too much to even answer that.” He kissed her again and lay back on the bed, getting under the covers.

  “It’s a lot of money,” she said quietly.

  He fluffed his pillow. “I know you’re worried about Hey Joe, but it’ll all work out. I bet you Mitch gets cold feet and ends up not selling.”

  Lola stayed where she was, staring at the wall by the bed. He sounded so confident, but she didn’t share his optimism. During the last few conversations she’d had with the owner about Hey Joe, stress had etched his face. “Johnny, did you ever think about buying the bar?”

  “Guess so, here and there. Kind of feels like mine already. But never seriously or anything.”

  “That’s the best of both worlds,” Lola said. “You get the bar you love, and you don’t have to start from the ground up.”

  “It’d be like owning a piece of history,” Johnny agreed. “Rock ’n’ roll history. We could get it back to what it was, you and me.”

  Lola glanced down at him. “What’s the first thing you’d do?”

  “I’d work my ass off to get good music in there again. Maybe serve some food. Open earlier in the day. People in the door, no matter what it took.”

  She smiled at him. She liked the times where Johnny got caught up in something bigger than their life. “You could run that place with your eyes closed.”

  “With you by my side, sure could.” They grinned at each other, sharing the same dream. It faded from Johnny’s eyes. “What’re you saying, Lo?”

  “I don’t know. Mitch hasn’t bothered with the day to day for so long that, like you said, sometimes the bar feels like ours. But I never imagined actually owning it until tonight. I didn’t think it was a possibility for us.”

  “And what, it is now?” he asked.

  “No,” she said emphatically. She got under the covers too and snuggled against his side. “I told you my dad loved bikes. He used to collect Harley gear for the day he’d own one. I promised I’d buy him one when I got older. That was before he left, obviously. Sad thing is, even if I could buy him one, I wouldn’t know where to find him.” She paused, tracing one of the tattoos on Johnny’s chest. “I’ve never made someone’s dream come true. Or given them anything.”

  “You made my dream come true.”

  She looked up at him. “I did?”

  “I have you, don’t I? That’s something money can’t buy.” He smiled and smoothed his hand over her hairline. “Don’t worry, babe. We’ll figure something out.”

  “But by then, Hey Joe
might not be around anymore,” Lola said. They’d been figuring things out since they’d started dating. Lola still thought about going back to school some day. Some day, Johnny would propose. They’d talked about having kids some day when they’d saved more and could afford things like a bigger apartment.

  Starting a business didn’t fit into any of that. It occurred to her that though Johnny wanted those things, he wouldn’t go after them. He would wait for them to happen to him or for Lola to tell him it was time. Her role was to move them forward, a reality she’d conveniently ignored—until Beau had opened her eyes to it. If neither of them did anything, they’d be in this bed ten years from now, wondering why they didn’t have the things they’d always hoped for.

  Lola switched off the bedside lamp, turned back and kissed his chest. “It’s stupid, but right after my dad left, I thought if I could just get him that bike, he’d come back. Like me plus a bike would be enough for him.” She looked up at him. “Is this enough for you? If we never got further than where we are right now?”

  He was quiet.

  “Johnny?” she asked.

  No answer. He’d fallen asleep.

  Chapter 5

  Lola heaped potato salad onto Mark’s plate. He looked at it, then back up. “That it?”

  “You know the rule. Nobody gets seconds until everyone’s had a helping.”

  “Six growing men at this picnic table, Lola.”

  She rolled her eyes. “If any of you are still growing, it’s sideways, not up.”

  He pulled on his belt with his free hand and grinned. “Come on, Mama. Give your second favorite man a little extra love.”

  “You want more potato salad, walk your ass over to Pavilions and get it yourself. Next!”

  Mark muttered as he went around Lola to sit down.

  Johnny and his friends played football in the park some weekends while Lola and a few other wives and girlfriends set up food for afterward. It was a good spot, even for busy afternoons, with a playground nearby for the kids.