"Nope," I said. "You're gonna stay with me, huh boy—huh boy?" I rubbed him behind the left ear this time, and he leaned to the other side. I cracked up. "You're totally ridiculous!" I said.
We stayed outside with Thor for about an hour before I brought him back inside. It was a family tradition to go to the movies on Christmas night, but I was anxious to hang out with Thor and watch the DVD that came with him.
Charlotte came into the guesthouse with me when I took him inside. "You were right when you thought that text was from Rory earlier," she said. "I didn't know you guys were seeing each other."
"I didn't really mention it because we just started hanging out recently. He's out of town, so I knew you wouldn't get to meet him, and it's hard to tell where things are gonna go with us anyway."
"Him and his brother—they're both pretty sexy, aren't they?" she asked. She'd seen both of them in pictures on Addie's Instagram, but I handed her the photo he'd enclosed with his letter. For dramatic effect, I gave it to her face down and watched her turn it over. She stared at it for a second before her eyes met mine with a disbelieving expression.
"And… remind me why you're hesitating on this," she said.
Charlotte and the rest of my family went to the movies as a big group. My uncle Jamey stayed home, but he was locked away in their bedroom working. I watched the DVD about Thor's training and felt nervous and overwhelmed hoping I'd be a good owner. I tired some of the commands, and Thor responded like the amazing, highly-trained animal that he was.
I sat on my living room floor with my back against the couch and patted the spot next to me. Thor sat right beside me and I reached up to pet him. He leaned into my hand again and I laughed. "You melt when I pet you," I said. His head rested comfortably on my hand and I just sat there and stared at him.
I picked up my phone, leaned in, and grabbed Thor around the neck to take a few selfies with him. I chose the one I liked best and posted it to Instagram with a caption that said, "Best Christmas ever!" I got a comment from Addie within the first few minutes that said she knew what I was getting, and she was glad I liked it. I sent her a text asking for Rory's email address. I had his phone number from when he contacted me earlier, but wanted to send a note via email instead of text.
Here's what I wrote:
Rory, I don’t know what to say. Thor is perhaps the most beautiful dog on the planet. I feel really bad about your friend giving him up, but not nearly bad enough to give him back. I am utterly attached already, and I can't tell you what a perfect gift he is. He's better than anything I would have chosen for myself, and I'm so thankful to be on the receiving end of your thoughtfulness. So, thank you, and rest assured he'll be oh, so very loved! I hope you guys enjoy the rest of your trip.
Thanks again and hugs from Miami,
Megan.
I attached the photo of Thor and me and pressed send. I checked my inbox obsessively for the next five minutes straight, but decided to put my phone down when I realized I was being irrational. Nervous jitters coursed through my body, and I started to doubt what I wrote. I picked up my phone and went back to reread the email. I wondered if it was too distant and emotionless, but there was really nothing I could do about it now.
I heard back from him thirty minutes later, and by that time, I was laying on the couch watching TV with Thor lying on the floor next to me. I was listening for sounds of incoming emails, and I picked my phone up immediately when it dinged. I got really nervous when I saw that it was from Rory, and I sat up cross-legged on the couch to read it.
Megan, I'm glad to hear you like the dog. I know he'll take good care of you and vice versa. I'm sure you already assumed, but I feel that I should officially state that keeping him locks you in to a contractual agreement to be mine. It's just a simple "he's yours—you're mine" plan. I'm sure you figured that already. But seriously, Megan… I know you're trying not to like me, and I understand that. I'd probably try not to like me too. But I'm too stubborn to let you get away. I'm smart enough to know you're different, and you're mistaken if you think I'm gonna let you slip through my fingers. I'm coming for you.
Rory
OMG
My gut instinct was to write back saying, "Yes, yes, yes! I will definitely enter a contractual agreement to be yours," but I knew what a roller coaster of emotions I'd already been on, and gave it some thought before I answered back. By the time I composed the email, I started to lean more toward common sense again.
Rory, I love the dog. He's the most thoughtful, wonderful gift ever. But honestly, everything about you scares me. It's not just your job. You'll probably hate me for saying this, but I also fear that you are a lot like your dad. I know it might be weird that I'm thinking this far in advance, but I just can't imagine staying home in Miami while you have affairs overseas. I know it's irrational for me to be jealous of you for things that haven't even occurred, but I know myself well enough to know I wouldn't be able to handle sitting at home worrying about you. Please understand that I really enjoy your company, and would love to hang out with you as friends whenever you're in town. I had tons of fun with you that night, and if I weren't so dang practical, I'd jump at the chance to go out with you again.
I signed it with only my name and pressed send.
Tears instantly ran down my face.
What the hell had I just done?
What in the world was I thinking?
I thought it was the right decision when I composed the email, and I just had to trust that, but I felt a gut-wrenching heart ache at the thought that I might have just made the biggest mistake of my life.
I went to the sent mail and read it again, crying the whole time. I knew this decision would be best in the long run, but that didn't make it hurt any less right then. I couldn't believe I actually wrote, "…would love to hang out with you as friends." What kind of idiot writes that?
Rory did not write me back.
For the next few days, I checked my email almost obsessively, but never heard back from him. Somewhere deep inside, I must have thought he'd come back with another letter, begging me to reconsider, because when that didn't happen, I felt more disappointed than I cared to admit.
I went into a funk that lasted nearly the whole week between Christmas and New Year's. Aunt P.J. and the cousins went around doing touristy things like they always did and didn't even notice my mood. I passed on a lot of activities, saying I wanted to be home to help Thor get adjusted. No one questioned it.
Addie and Drake came back to Miami a few days after Christmas and she asked me what was going on with Rory and I, but I just acted like I didn't really know. I didn't mention to anyone that I broke things off with him via email. I'd just told them I was seeing him, so I wouldn't seem too fickle. And fickle was exactly what I was when it came to Rory. One minute I felt like I couldn't live without him, and the next I was telling him to get lost. I wasn't usually this wishy-washy and I hated it.
I spent that whole week in turmoil, wondering if I had made the right decision, but aside from existing parallel universes, there was just no way to know that.
New Year's eve was on Monday evening, but everyone had off the next day, and my mom had a party planned. My aunt's family always celebrated it with us, but this year my mom was throwing an official party. There would be about twenty from my dad's office and twenty or so more that were just friends of ours from around town.
Addie stayed at Drake's most of the week so that Charlotte didn’t have to sleep on the couch. When I did see her, I asked about Rory and whether or not he was coming home early. She said she hadn't heard anything and I was left to wonder. It didn't matter anyway. I assumed that if he wanted me, he would have already contacted me by now.
My mom's party was scheduled to happen from eight till one, but I was showered and dressed by seven that evening. I wore dressy, tight, black cargo capris and a black sequin tank with a sleek blazer that went with the pants. I didn't wear much black, and when I did, it always made me feel like I was liv
ing dangerously. I smiled at my own silly thoughts as I shook my loose curls and adjusted them in the mirror.
"You look hot," Addie said coming to stand beside me.
"Oh, hey thanks, so do you," I said.
She had come in my bedroom, and I glanced behind her even though I couldn't see into the living room from where I stood.
"Did Rory? I mean Drake. Did Drake come with you?" She smiled and I rolled my eyes. "I meant to say Drake that whole time. It was just a slip."
"I'm here but Rory's not," Drake yelled from the living room. "And I love Thor, by the way," he added.
I couldn't help the disappointment that hit me when I heard Rory wasn't with them.
"He's coming later, though."
My head whipped around to look at Addie. "What'd he say?"
"I think he said Rory's coming by later."
My eyes got wide. "Are you serious?"
"Do you not want him to?" she asked. "I think he was planning on coming by here tonight, but I can let him know you're uncomfortable with it if you want me to."
I stared up at the ceiling, feeling frustrated with myself for not knowing what to feel.
"I don't want him to come," I whispered. "But the only thing I don't want more, is for him not to come."
Addie narrowed her eyes at me as if she were trying to decipher what I was saying.
"I know. I'm a freaking mess over this guy."
"I've been trying to leave you alone about it because I thought that's what you wanted, but I can't figure you out on this one. It really seems like you like him. Do you?"
I stared at her, not knowing what to say. "I guess the short answer is yes."
Chapter 17
Addie and Drake got to my house before the party even started, which now seemed like an eternity ago. It was currently 11PM, and the party had been in full swing for hours.
It was a nice night, and there was familiar pop music being pumped onto the patio. My mom had Christmas lights strung everywhere, and although the house was open, the patio was definitely the place to be. There were about fifty people standing around—some talking, some dancing. Most were broken up into groups of three to five, all chatting it up amiably. I had a good time and everything, but I looked around, thinking I sort of wished the night could be over so I could go hang out with Thor.
Addie and Drake were standing near the deep end of the pool talking with one of the other surgeons at my dad's practice. I'd been thinking about Rory all night and was tired of not knowing whether or not he was coming. I walked toward them to ask if they'd heard from him. I asked Drake, who said Rory messaged him saying he wasn't sure if he'd make it or not.
My first reaction was to be hurt and angry that no one thought to tell me, but I reminded myself about the last email I sent. It was a break-up email. Rory was totally justified in never speaking to me again, but somehow I had myself talked into thinking he'd come tonight, and I couldn’t control the disappointment I felt.
Thor's company was calling to me and I really wanted to just excuse myself from the rest of the party, but I decided to ride it out. I went to the bar my parents had set up to get my first drink of the night. I'd been holding out since I thought Rory was coming and I wanted to have a clear head. I was already so confused when it came to him, that I didn’t want to add to it by drinking. That wasn't an issue now, so I ordered a greyhound. I drank it in two sips, and before I knew it, it was eleven thirty.
I was talking to Aunt P.J. and Charlotte when I heard my name. I looked around to see Addie staring at me with wide eyes and waving. I excused myself and walked over to where she was standing.
"I didn't know if you wanted me to say anything in front of your aunt, or I would have just come to you, but Rory just text Drake and said he was on his way." She stared at me, and whatever I looked like made her ask, "Are you okay with that?"
"Yeah, oh totally, yeah," I said, smiling.
She smiled at my apparent nerves.
"Shut up."
"I didn't say anything," she said.
"Yeah, but you want to, I can tell."
Addie laughed.
"Do I have anything on my face or in my teeth?" I asked. I flashed my smile at Addie, but quickly changed my mind. "You know what? I'm gonna run in for a second and freshen up before he gets here. I wanna check on Thor anyway. Thanks for letting me know he's coming. Did he say when?"
"It better be soon," she said, shrugging. "There's only twenty minutes till midnight."
I turned to head into the house. One of my other friends tried to stop me to ask something, but I told her I really needed to use the restroom and would be right back. I ran straight into my bathroom where I checked my teeth, swished with some mouthwash, and applied a fresh coat of powder to my face. I was only in there for about two minutes, and I stopped to check on Thor on my way out. His kennel was in the corner of my bedroom, and I stooped and said a few words about how I'd be back soon.
"He's handsome." I heard Rory's deep voice coming from behind me. It was dripping with an Irish accent, and a wave of anxious jitters hit me at the sound of it.
I took an unsteady breath before I looked over my shoulder with a smile. "He's the handsomest," I said. I stood and shifted to face him, but stayed next to the kennel. I leaned against it, but more for something to do with my hands than for support. Rory stayed where he was, which was at the doorway of my bedroom.
"I didn't hear you come in," I said.
He didn't say anything back. He just stared at me with a smile playing on one corner of his mouth. He was dressed in a really nice looking outfit with black pants, a button up shirt, a tie, and a camel colored, fitted blazer. I expected him to look like he was fresh off a ship, but he was dressed in high fashion, tailored clothes.
"How'd you get so dressed up?" I asked.
"What do you mean how? I just took the clothes off the hanger and put them on," he said smiling.
I rolled my eyes. "I meant I thought you were just coming in from your trip, and that's why you barely made it here."
"I didn’t barely make it," he said. He looked at his watch, which was expensive, and I stared at him thinking what a sight he was. He smelled like heaven too.
I straightened my posture.
"It's ten till," he said.
"Ten till is barely making it," I said. "The party's been going on for hours."
"We got home yesterday," he said. "I just had somewhere else to be tonight, and couldn't get here till now."
"Oh," I said, acting like I didn't care that he had somewhere else to be even though I felt deflated because of it.
"Ye look lovely," he said, letting his eyes roam over me appraisingly.
"Thanks," I said. I looked at his broad chest with the perfectly tailored shirt and blazer. "You look nice too."
He smiled, but I could tell he wasn't happy.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
He narrowed his eyes at me. "What's wrong? What's wrong is that ye told me to leave ye alone." He took a couple steps toward me, and I just stood there and watched him. I glanced down at Thor, who was watching Rory intently from his locked kennel. Rory smiled and spoke very calmly, so his words actually came as a bit of a surprise. "Megan, I want ye, but I'm not prepared to pine away while ye play games. It's already difficult enough for me to admit I want to be in a relationship after so many years of saying I'd never want one. I don’t need games on top of that. I'm not cut out for this back and forth shite." His expression had grown serious as he spoke, and he paused to give me the hint of a sweet smile. "I like ye, Megan, but I'm not gonna force myself on ye."
I stood there and stared at him, and neither of us said anything for a few long seconds. "Why didn't you write me back last week?" I asked.
He gave me a disbelieving expression. "Because ye fuckin' broke up with me in yer last email," he said.
"I didn't break up with you," I said. "I mean, we never were really officially together anyway. We just had that one night, and—"
; I cut off at the sight of him walking toward me. He approached until he was right next to me.
"Ye told me to leave ye alone. I'm not playing games, Megan. I'm here because I want ye. If I didn't want ye so bad, I'd a fuckin' given up long ago. I want ye to be mine. I know yer meant to be mine, but it's now or never. I'm asking ye now and if ye say no, I won't ask again."
I stared at his mouth when he spoke. That Irish accent coming out of his beautiful, curved mouth was mesmerizing. He got quiet, and I had to think back to what he said. If I say no, he won't ask again…that's what he said.
An ultimatum.
As much as I wanted him, I was just so stubborn, and it was almost impossible for me to make a forced decision like that. "So, if I say I need a second to think about it, then you're not willing to wait?"
His expression was one of utter confusion. "What's there to think about?" he asked "Ye know what yer choice is, ye just need to tell me."
"Why'd you come if you thought I ended it in that email?"
"Because I knew ye didn't mean it, and I wanted to give ye one last chance to take it back, but if ye say yer mine tonight, there's no going back. I'm not gonna let ye take it back tomorrow and say yer scared or whatever."
I gave him a pleading expression. "You have to understand how much I want to try, but—"
"Then do it."
"How can it be that simple?"
"Why does it need to be complicated?"
We were both quiet for a second, staring at each other. His green eyes were dark like emeralds.
I looked down shyly. "I don't mean to be indecisive. Believe me, I hate myself for it. I'm just scared, and I don't understand why I have to agree to everything or nothing."
"I've already told ye that everything's what I want with ye. I'm not gonna hang around if yer not gonna let me be with ye the way I want, Megan. I want to love ye and protect ye. I want ye to be mine." He paused and clutched his hands in front of him as he debated whether or not to approach me. "I want ye so bad I can hardly stand it. It's almost impossible for me to keep from reachin' out to touch ye right now."
Steal My Girl Page 12
