Held by You

by Cheyenne McCray

  Once she’d slipped into her own clean clothes, she went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror for a moment. Her gold-brown eyes were red, her eyes puffy, and she still had the remnants of a black eye. The split in her swollen lower lip was healing even though it still hurt a little.

  She splashed cold water on her face. It helped liven her up a bit and her mind seemed a bit less foggy. She used John’s comb to try to calm the sleep-tousled locks of her light brown hair. Her feet were cold so she tugged on her socks but didn’t bother with shoes.

  When she padded out of the room on the hardwood floor, she made her way toward the kitchen. She paused and looked at the fire dancing merrily in the fireplace before continuing to the kitchen. Had it only been a few days ago that she and John had spent time together at the table with mugs of hot chocolate?

  The smell of chicken noodle soup and fresh cornbread made Hollie’s stomach rumble. “Can I help with something?” she asked Angel as she entered the kitchen.

  Angel nodded toward a cabinet as she took a large stockpot off of a red-hot burner, transferring it to a cool burner on the stove. “You can grab a couple of soup bowls from that cabinet and spoons from the drawer to the left of the sink.”

  While Hollie got out the bowls and spoons, Angel pulled a pan of cornbread from the oven and set the pan on a stone trivet. When Hollie set the bowls on the counter, Angel ladled soup with noodles into the bowls.

  “Homemade noodles?” Hollie asked.

  Angel nodded. “The cornbread is made from scratch, too.” She nodded toward the fridge. “I have a casserole in there that we’ll put in the oven to heat up when it’s time for John to come home.”

  They ate in companionable silence. Hollie wasn’t up to talking about anything that had happened, and was glad Angel didn’t ask. After they finished eating and cleaning up what little mess there was, Hollie followed Angel into the living room.

  Angel settled into the recliner and picked up a large hoop with a quilt stretched across it. She put a thimble on one finger and started hand quilting the material.

  The quilt was pieced with material in vivid colors of blue, yellow, pink, purple, and green. “It’s beautiful.” Hollie sat on the sofa close to the recliner that Angel was sitting in. Hollie tucked her socked feet beneath her. “My mom used to quilt by hand. I still have one that she made when I was a little girl.”

  If Carl hadn’t gotten hold of it—she hadn’t noticed when she was cleaning up.

  “I do some by hand and others on a quilting machine that’s set up in my woman-cave at home,” Angel said with a grin. “A glass of wine, new material, a pattern, and I’m ready to go.”

  Hollie laughed. It felt good to laugh. In that moment it was easy to forget all that was going on in her life. For a while they talked about John and Mike who were her stepsons, as well as Reese and Garrett who were her own children. She spoke with pride about each one of them.

  “Sometimes they were all more trouble than they were worth,” Angel said with a smile. “But they’ve got good hearts, every last one of them.”

  “They are fortunate to have you as their mother.” Hollie spoke wistfully to Angel of her own mother.

  When Hollie got to the part about her father remarrying so that she would have a mother, she went quiet and sagged a little as she thought of her stepmother and stepbrothers. Things could not have been more different between her family and John’s.

  Angel seemed to recognize the fact that Hollie needed a change of subject. “I think it’s time to put that casserole in the oven.”

  She started to set aside the hoop but Hollie stood and said, “I’ll do it. What temp and how long?”

  Angel settled back in her seat and answered Hollie’s questions. Hollie retreated to the kitchen and pre-heated the oven while she got out the casserole and put away the now dry dishes that had been stacked in the dish drainer.

  After she put the casserole in the pre-heated oven, she returned to the living room and took her seat on the sofa, close to Angel.

  “When John gets home, why don’t I pick up a few things for you at the store?” Angel said. “Just give me your sizes and I’ll see what I can find that will suit you.”

  “If it’s not any trouble.” Hollie gave Angel a grateful look. “To be honest, I’m afraid of running into people I know and my students. And then there are those who might recognize me from what they’ve read in newspapers or watched on TV. Not to mention reporters and photographers—the press is the last thing I want to see.”

  Angel nodded with understanding. “It’s no trouble at all. I’ve been needing to pick up a few things for myself, so I’ll kill two birds with one stone.”

  Hollie shuddered inwardly at the word “kill.” She was glad that Angel didn’t seem to notice.

  Angel took a small pad of paper and a pencil from out of her quilting basket and handed both to Hollie who wrote down her sizes for shirts, jeans, panties, bra, and shoes, along with some toiletries. Holly wanted to burn what she was wearing now and she had no shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, and other things of her own—she’d had to use John’s. When she was finished writing, she handed the notebook and pencil back to Angel and both items disappeared into the basket again.

  The lock to the front door clicked and the dead bolt was shot back. For one moment, fear tore through Hollie. What if it was whoever had killed Carl? She didn’t know why anyone would want to kill her, too, but the fear was still in her mind.

  When the door opened, Hollie breathed a huge sigh of relief to see that it was John. Of course it was John. Who else could it have been?

  She stood as John removed a black leather jacket from over his uniform. He gave each of them a tired smile as he draped the jacket over the arm of the sofa. He looked so good in his uniform, sexy and strong. He was a powerful man and his uniform emphasized that fact.

  He walked across the room, and gave Hollie a big hug. As he hugged her, his stubbled jaw felt cool from having been outside and she shivered from the feel of his cold clothing through her warm T-shirt and jeans. When he released her from the hug he kissed her, a quick, firm kiss on her lips. Her lip only felt sore now and it didn’t hurt when he kissed her. It surprised her that John would kiss her in front of his stepmother, considering they hadn’t even been on a normal date.

  “How are you holding up?” he asked Hollie as he held her.

  “I’m fine.” Hollie tried to smile back but knew that she hadn’t been successful because of his worried expression.

  He squeezed her to him again before releasing her. “Everything is going to be all right, Hollie. I’m going to make sure of it.”

  “Thank you.” She looked at him and felt a deep confidence that this man would do everything in his power to prove her innocence. “I know you will.”

  Angel started putting her quilt, thimble, needle, and hoop into a large basket. “Now that you’re home, John, there’s no time like the present to get a little shopping done.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” He gave her a hug when she got to her feet.

  She kissed his cheek. “You know I’m here anytime you need me.”

  He smiled. “That goes both ways.”

  Angel gave Hollie a big hug next. “I’ll bring some clothes by tomorrow morning. I’ll leave the tags on so that you can return anything you don’t want.”

  “Let me get you some cash out of my wallet—” Hollie’s heart sank. Carl had taken what little cash she’d had out of her wallet the night he’d hit her. “I forgot, I don’t have any. Can I write you a check?”

  “We’ll settle up later,” Angel said. “I’m not worried about it in the least bit.”

  “Okay.” Hollie managed a smile. “Thank you.”

  Angel started to pick up her quilting basket, but John held up his hand. “Let me get my jacket on and I’ll carry it out to your car.”

  With a smile, Angel went to Hollie and hugged her tightly again. Angel grasped Hollie’s upper arms as she drew away and held her gaze.
“You hang in there. I know John will take care of this horrible mess you’re in. I have no doubt about it.”

  “Thank you.” Hollie couldn’t help but feel better when Angel sounded so positive and sure that things were going to be okay.

  Before leaving, Angel slid into her coat and pulled a woolen scarf around her neck as John put his own jacket on. Before John walked her out the front door, he picked up the basket then closed the door behind them. Hollie pulled aside the curtain draped overs the front window and watched John accompany Angel to her car.

  When John looked over his shoulder, he saw Hollie looking out the window. For a long moment, for what seemed like an age, they held each other’s gaze.

  She wondered what he was thinking and wondered if he could read her mind. She could fall for this man so easily. And in truth, she was already falling for him.

  Chapter 14

  John held Hollie’s gaze as she looked at him through the window and it was like a punch to the gut. She looked so sweet and innocent. She didn’t deserve any of what was happening to her.

  Angel caught his attention by laying her hand on his arm and he tore his gaze from Hollie’s to face Angel’s again. “You were in such a hurry this morning that you didn’t tell me anything about your relationship with Hollie.” She paused. “Have you been dating long?”

  John shook his head. “Just once.” And that hadn’t been a real date. He’d just let Hollie know that he wanted to get to know her better. He already felt like he’d known her for a very long time.

  “So you’re not involved?” Angel asked.

  “If I have my way, we will be,” he said.

  She gave a slow nod. “I think she’s a sweet girl. She’ll be good for you.”

  “Yes, she will.” His mouth tightened. “Whatever the case, I have to prove her innocence.”

  “You will.” Angel reached up and kissed him on the cheek, her lips cold from the night’s chill. “Now go on back in there and give that girl some company. She needs you.”

  And I need her, came the thought, but he didn’t voice it aloud.

  “I’ll be over tomorrow with the clothes I’m going to pick up for her.” Angel looked out into the early evening. “It’s getting dark but the stores will be open for a while longer.” She looked back at him. “Especially since Christmas is so close.”

  He nodded and opened the rear passenger door and set her basket on the seat before closing the door. He opened the driver’s side door for her and closed it once she’d slid behind the wheel of her vehicle and started it. She buzzed down the window and waved toward the house. John looked over his shoulder and saw Hollie still standing there, still looking out the window, and she waved back.

  “See you tomorrow, John,” Angel said before she buzzed up her window. As she drove away, plumes of white came from the exhaust pipe, before disappearing in the chilly air.

  He stood out in the cold, his hands shoved into his pockets and looked at several of his neighbors’ glittering Christmas lights. He hadn’t put up any himself. Hell, he hadn’t even put up a Christmas tree. He spent the holidays with his family and had never had a reason to decorate his own place.

  But with Hollie here… He’d like to make this Christmas special for her. Make it so that she had something positive and good in her life while it was being torn apart and turned upside down.

  A thought kept pressing and pressing at his mind. He cared for Hollie in a way he’d never cared for a woman in his life. Maybe it was too soon to tell, maybe he was rushing things, maybe he was out of his godforsaken mind.

  But he didn’t care if he was rushing it. What he did care about was Hollie and seeing where things might take them. She could be the forever-woman he wasn’t certain was real until now.

  As he stood out in the cold, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and called Nadia.

  She answered on the first ring. “What took you so long?”

  Tension made John’s muscles tight. There was no sense beating the bush about it. “We need to end this.”

  “What?” Nadia spoke in a shriek. “You can’t dump me!”

  “You’re right. I can’t dump you if we’ve never had that kind of relationship.” He kept his tone low and even. “We agreed from the beginning that our arrangement was strictly friends with benefits.”

  “Things change,” Nadia shouted. “What we have is good.”

  “We don’t have anything.” John’s patience was waning. “I’ve cared for you as a friend and lover, but it didn’t go any deeper in that.”

  “It’s another woman, isn’t it?” Nadia said the words savagely.

  John gripped his phone tighter, feeling tension radiating throughout him. “What may or may not be happening in my personal life doesn’t change anything. It’s always been about sex and friendship. That’s all.”

  “You can’t do this to me,” she wailed. “I won’t let you.”

  “Nadia, this is it.” He said the words firmly. “This is goodbye.”

  He disconnected the call and switched his phone to vibrate before he holstered it. He blew out his breath, which fogged in the cold night air. The phone vibrated in its holster but he ignored it.

  It wasn’t the way he’d wanted to end it, but Nadia had become possessive and demanding and he didn’t see any other way of handling it. He felt like an ass. He had never intended to hurt her. He’d been stupid enough to believe that he could have that kind of a relationship with a woman.

  Well, hell.

  He turned and faced the house. Hollie was no longer in the window. Needing to see her more than anything, he started toward the front door.

  Hollie felt both a thrill and a burst of nervousness as John walked through the door and locked it behind him. They were alone. In the same house. All night.

  Cold air swirled into the warm house and she shivered as he removed his jacket.

  When he’d set it aside, he walked toward her and she realized she needed another hug more than anything in the world at that moment. He seemed to read her mind because he wrapped her in his embrace the moment he reached her and held her for a long time.

  When they finally drew apart, she looked up at him and smiled. “Thank you. I needed that.”

  He returned her smile. “Frankly, I did too.”

  She went willingly into his arms for another hug. She felt the stress, strain, and horrors of the past days fall away, if only for a moment. He didn’t let her go when he raised his head and she looked up at him.

  He brought his mouth down on hers in a slow, sensual kiss that rocked her to her toes. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body firmly against his. He gave a low groan as she felt him grow rigid against her belly and he moved apart from her, leaving his hands on her upper arms.

  “I think maybe we should eat dinner.” He looked like he was supremely uncomfortable and she wondered if it had anything to do with the tightness of his pants. “Something smells great.”

  Hollie breathed in the delicious smells too, and her mouth watered. “Angel made a pasta and cheese casserole.” Hollie pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and glanced at the time. “It’s almost ready to take out of the oven.”

  “I’m going to get out of this uniform and take a quick shower.” He gave her a quick kiss on her forehead. “I’ll be back in a few.”

  She smiled to herself and headed into the kitchen.

  He returned fifteen minutes later, his hair damp from the shower. He wore a dark blue T-shirt and Wrangler jeans, his feet bare. He looked so damned sexy. When he moved toward her and kissed her on the top of her head, she caught his clean scent of soap and man and felt his body heat radiating from him.

  Before going into the kitchen, he stoked the fire that had started to die.

  Dinner was mostly quiet. She wanted to ask him about her case and yet she didn’t want to. She was afraid of what he might have to say and she didn’t want to ruin her night with him. For now she wanted to pretend that everything was ok
ay, that she hadn’t been booked for murder, and she just happened to be spending some time with a gorgeous hunk of a man.

  “Leigh and Carilyn called me at the station today,” he said after Hollie had taken a bite of casserole.

  Hollie looked up at him.

  “Your friends are worried about you and said you haven’t been answering your phone,” he continued.

  Hollie chewed and swallowed. “I haven’t felt up to talking to anyone.” She took another forkful of casserole but didn’t raise the fork. “My battery is low, too, and I don’t have my charger.” It had been off when she’d been in jail, so the battery hadn’t died yet.

  “You have the same cell phone that I do, so you can borrow my charger tonight.” He studied her. “But that isn’t the only reason why you haven’t answered your phone.”

  She shook her head. “I’m too embarrassed.”

  He put his fingers over her free hand that was resting on the table and squeezed. “It’s not your fault. You need to know people around you care for you.”

  “I’m afraid I’ll see it in their eyes.” Hollie suddenly didn’t feel hungry anymore. “That question of whether or not I did it. I couldn’t take seeing that.”

  John shook his head. “People who know you don’t believe for a moment that you could have done this.”

  She stared at her plate for a long moment. “I keep seeing Carl in my mind.” She looked up at John. “I see all that blood, hear him call to me, and see him die.” A lump formed in her throat. “The images play in an endless loop in my mind.” She didn’t mention the nightmare. It hadn’t been real. “I can’t bring myself to be sorry that he’s dead.” She touched faded bruises on the side of her face.

  “After what he put you through, I don’t blame you one damn bit,” John said. “I’d probably have come close to killing him for hurting you if I’d come across him before his murderer did.”

  Hollie didn’t respond and John squeezed her fingers again.