Another Time, Another Place

by Zane

  “Stop talkin’!” I mumbled, clawing sand with my fingers.

  He chuckled. “That delicious, huh?”

  “Ummm…give me a little more. That’s it. That’s it! Oh shit!”

  “You sure you wanna do that?”

  “Shee…it!”

  “Gettin’ backed up, ain’t ya?” he grunted, pumping me.

  “Yes!”

  “You like my banana split?”

  “Uh…huuhhunh…”

  “I didn’t hear you good. Say it’s the best.”

  “It’s the best. You feel so fuckin’ good!” My whole body was shaking.

  “All right, let’s get full. You ready?”

  I was delusional at this point, eyes rolled back in my head like a possessed woman. He was pleasing the hell out of me.

  “We gonna top this shit off with some whipped cream,” he said, his breath shallow. I felt the tension increase in his body as he wrapped his arms around my neck. He rocked me hard, but I didn’t want him to stop.

  “Ooooh…Aaaaw…!” Love sounds from our climax together. We molded our bodies into a warm cocoon.

  “You believe I’m ripe enough for you now?” Harrison asked, sucking moisture from my neck.

  I glided my hand over his bald head. “Yes, Harrison. That was so good.”

  He stared deeply into my eyes. “I’m always gonna be good for you, Miss Jasmine.”

  GOOD MORNING HEARTACHE

  “I’m glad you could make it a few hours earlier, Jasmine,” Mr. Rayman said softly from his sick bed. He gently reached for my hand.

  I blinked back tears as I sat in the chair, holding his frail fingers inside mine. Mr. Rayman had been too weak to attend the Board of Directors meeting, so I brought the minutes and documents to him. He was losing his battle with emphysema. I tried to be a composed professional, but it was difficult. I’d known this kindhearted man all of my life. He nurtured my love of books over the years, giving me Shakespeare, Mark Twain, and even Zora Neale Hurston, a graduation gift he’d selected with the help of Gladys. I worked in his office as a clerk, from high school to college. While I’d received academic scholarships to Howard, he still offered funds to Aunt Frances, for expenses that weren’t covered.

  His blue eyes were glassy, and each breath he took was more labored than the previous one. “How’d the meeting go?” he asked in a hushed tone.

  I nodded with a smile. “Everyone seemed fine with the appointments.” I bit my lip. “Except for Victor. Your son never has liked me too much. He didn’t say a single word to me the whole time.”

  Mr. Rayman looked solemn as he bent his head. “He’ll come around. The world is changing, and we all need to embrace new things. I appointed you both, because you bring so much talent to our board. Victor is a physician in Burlington. You’re an attorney, here in Sapelo.” He smiled proudly. “I believe your collective ideas and energy will be good for the company.”

  “I brought the file for your Will and Testament, Mr. Rayman,” I said, carefully placing it on his lap.

  He put his hand over the file. “Jasmine, I’ve thought long and hard about these changes, but I still need your opinion on how to proceed.”

  I folded my hands. “Yes, Mr. Rayman, I’m listening.”

  He took a deep sigh as he rested his head against the headboard. “In the event of my death, I will need someone to manage the reading of my wishes efficiently. My family does not know about some of the revisions, and will not know until the reading is rendered. Emotions may run high, and I want to make sure order can be restored.” He coughed. “Do you…do you understand?”

  “Yes, Mr. Rayman,” I said as I poured him a glass of water from the crystal pitcher.

  I handed him the glass. “Do you have reservations about me handling the reading?”

  He took a long sip, then handed the glass back to me. “Normally, I wouldn’t. You’re competent counsel. I know you’d do a fine job.” He shook his head slowly. I frowned, confused by his hesitation. He gripped the folder in his hand. “The contents of the will affect many people, including you.”

  I placed my hand on my chest. “Me?”

  He nodded. “Jasmine, I’ve asked Jake Rogers, who you know as company counsel, to read the will, with you present.”

  I moved closer to the bed, placing both hands on his. “Mr. Rayman, Jake has a fine reputation, and we get along well.” I raised my shoulders. “I just don’t understand why you’ve asked him to conduct the reading.”

  He looked at me, apprehension evident from the creases to his brow. “There is one section in the will that might present a challenge, if you were reading it. The section that lists the heirs of my estate.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Sir?”

  “Your name will be included on that list. Jasmine, you are my daughter.”

  My lips trembled. This great fortress of a bedroom suddenly felt like a coffin, cutting off my airway. I stood up fast, gasping for air.

  “Jasmine, please sit down.” He raised his weak arm in the air, attempting to reach for me. I shook my head violently, backing far away from the bed, over to the large windowsill. Hard rain tapped against the pane as I stared at this man in disbelief.

  Finally, my emotions poured out. “Why!” I wailed. “Why did you keep this from me?” I paced the floor, holding my head in my hands.

  “Jasmine, please hear me out,” he said, his voice faltering. He motioned for me to come closer. I stood still, fuming as tears trailed my cheeks. “Please sit down.”

  Every step closer to the chair felt like lead, weighing down my feet. I stood paralyzed in front of him. His tears ran as fast as mine. “I know I should’ve told you years ago, but I wasn’t ready for you and my family to feel shame. There was so much racial tension in the world, back when you were born. I didn’t want trouble brewing on the island, causing scandal and embarrassment for everyone.”

  I laughed, rearing my head back. “You wanted to save your precious reputation, Mr. Rayman.” I waved my hands. “No one could know about the generous tobacco farmer turned fortune king, fathering a child out of wedlock. All hell would break loose, if anyone knew you’d been unfaithful to your precious Marilyn.”

  “Jasmine, I made a mistake, and…”

  “Yes,” I interrupted. “And that mistake was me…your competent counsel, bastard child!”

  His face reddened, distraught by my hurt. “Jasmine, I would say I’m sorry a million times, if I thought it would ease your pain…but I know it would not. You have always mattered to me. I believe the bond we have as business associates is just as strong as a father/daughter bond.”

  “How would you know? You never gave me a chance to be your daughter. I respected you, and I loved you as client. I believe that love could have blossomed even more, had I known the truth. You banished that opportunity, so your family wouldn’t be dishonored. Did you think hiring me as counsel would make amends for your betrayal?”

  He took a breath and clasped his hands. “Please, Jasmine, don’t hate me.”

  “I don’t hate you. I’m disappointed. You are facing your last days, trying to clear your conscience, while I’m sitting here, wondering how my heart still beats from all the turmoil I’ve endured.”

  “Jasmine, I did what was best at the time.”

  “Mr. Rayman, you did what was best for you. You swept an affair under the rug, denied a child, and decided to go about business as usual. Maybe if I was simply your attorney, I would have said, good decision. But as a woman who cried her eyes out, longing to know who her parents were, you made a horrendous error.”

  He was silent as I walked back over to the windowsill, staring at the falling rain.

  “Did you love my mother?” I asked, peering back at him.

  He looked at his hands, then smiled up at me. “Yes. I loved her very much…I still do.”

  I walked back over to him with my arms crossed. “As your lawyer, I wanna make sure I understand you correctly. Let me re-phrase the question. Were yo
u in love with her, or were you just lusting for something exotic. Like a slave master with an affinity for dark meat.”

  “No!” he cried. “Jasmine, it wasn’t that way.” He closed his eyes, holding his chest for a moment. I was angry, but a part of me felt like I needed to make peace with him.

  “Do you want me to get Dr. Tate?”

  He shook his head no as he stared at me. I sniffled and sat down, accepting the fresh handkerchief he’d offered to dab my eyes. “Mr. Rayman, I’m upset, not just from this news, but from wounds of the past. It’s too late for us to start over, but I will always remember the good things you brought to my life, as my mentor and friend.” I slowly took his hand. “I agree that Jake should oversee the proceedings, whenever the need arises. Don’t fret over this anymore. I’ll be fine.”

  He smiled after I kissed him on the forehead, seemingly comforted by our truce. I got up and walked towards the door. “Mr. Rayman, I have one more question,” I said, looking back at him. “My mother? Where is she?”

  Mr. Rayman looked through tear-filled eyes, but before he could say anything, Gladys appeared at the door. “I’m right here,” she said softly. “I’m your mother, Jasmine.”

  “You?” I whispered through trembling lips. A tear rolled down her face as she cautiously wrapped her arms around me. I stood numb, resting my chin on her shoulder as she held me tight.

  “I’m not proud of what I did, but I gave you to Frances, so you’d have more from this world than I could offer. Every time you set foot in this house, I wished I could tell you that you was my own.”

  I moved away from her. “You could have!” I shouted, crossing my arms over my body.

  Gladys wrung her hands. “Tellin’ you then could’ve changed the good future you had ahead, and tellin’ you later, wouldn’t have eased the pain I see on your face right now.”

  She reached out to me. “I’m so sorry, Jasmine. Please try to understand.”

  Blinded by my tears, I backed out the door in silence, running down the hallway and then down the marble steps.

  ***

  “Start talking!” I shouted after I stormed through Aunt Frances’ front door.

  I plopped down in her recliner as she stood in the middle of the living room floor, staring down at the tea steaming in her mug.

  “I’m sorry you had to find out this way, chile,” she said, shaking her head.

  I snatched the throw pillow from behind me and smashed it between my hands. “I didn’t need to find out this way!”

  Frances sighed as she sat on the sofa across from me. She rested her mug on the coffee table, scratching her head. “Gladys say anything to you?”

  I swallowed hard. “She tried, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to get out of there.”

  “You know Gladys and I been friends for years, don’t you?”

  I slowly nodded.

  “Well, when we got outta school, I decided I was gonna be a nurse, and she wanted to go off to design school, in New York. When they told her she didn’t get accepted, I reckon because of her color, she was crushed. Eventually, she started working for the Raymans. She said it would be temporary, until she saved up enough to have her own little boutique on the island. Rayman took a liking to her. At first, she thought he just wanted to get under her skirt. After a year of her working there, though, they got close. Mrs. Rayman was into being a socialite more than a wife. Gladys was Mr. Rayman’s confidante. They shared their dreams and decided to be lovers. She had been seeing a young man from Belle Marsh, named Leonard when she got pregnant. Rayman was the only man she’d been with, and when she told him, he didn’t question it. Mrs. Rayman didn’t think nothin’ of it, either. She was expectin,’ preparing a nursery for their boy, Victor. When Leonard stopped courtin’ Gladys, everybody just assumed he was a deadbeat, leaving Gladys in a family way. Rayman offered to send her to Paris. That was her dream. To travel the world and study fashion.”

  I raised my hands. “What happened? Did she go?”

  “Naw, ’cause she didn’t wanna be no brushed-off mistress, pregnant and alone in another country. Her folks moved to Decatur, and told her to make a life for herself. So, she stayed with me, and I delivered you. When she went back to the Raymans, she asked me to raise you.”

  I sucked my teeth. “So, the secret was safe.”

  “Jasmine, Gladys has always loved you.”

  “Humph, not enough to keep me,” I said under my breath.

  She slapped her knee. “Stop being so spiteful!”

  “Why did she abandon me!”

  “Why are you sleeping with a married man?”

  I looked down, slightly embarrassed by her inquiry.

  She pushed herself up. “Yeah, shut ya up for a second, didn’t I?” she huffed, putting her hand on her hip. “No need to pout, ’cause your actions say you grown. Life ain’t a bed of roses. We human, and things happen. You just gotta pick yourself up, and keep goin’ the best way you know how.” She pulled me up into a bear hug. “Sometimes when you keep lookin’ back, you miss the rainbow God tryin’ to show you ahead.”

  “Aunt Frances, you’re the only person I’ve loved that’s never left me,” I muffled as I rested my head on her bosom.

  She stroked my hair. “There’s two things I’m most proud of… being a nurse, and raising you to be the fine woman that you are. You’ve helped people. You’ve mentored our young girls on the island, giving them a slice of your spirit to succeed. Don’t let that beacon of light go out, baby. Your survival through all the madness thrown your way—let that strength inside you be your redemption.” She patted my back. “Why don’t you go back to that mansion, and talk to Gladys?”

  I shook my head slowly as I pulled away. “I’m sorry, Aunt Frances, but I’m not ready to do that. I’m not ready,” I cried, walking out.

  YOUR HEART’S IN GOOD HANDS

  I purposely missed my father’s funeral, opting to spend the day grappling with myself in solitude. The next morning, I attended Jake’s meeting with the Raymans. I claimed my generous inheritance in silence, among the curses and cries of a family who would never claim me as their own. When the reading concluded, I bustled out, ignoring the calls of Gladys. Our newfound fortune combined…well over a million dollars. Time invested together, as mother and daughter—still bordering on bankrupt.

  ***

  I felt warm hands caress my shoulders as I stared at my husband’s headstone. “Seem like you got more time to spend in the cemetery than with me,” Harrison said, wrapping his arms around my waist.

  “Harrison, I wanna be alone right now. I got some things on my mind.”

  “I don’t have a say in this? Been a month since Rayman’s funeral, and I ain’t seen ya. Talk to me.”

  I sighed. “My whole life has been one big question mark.”

  “Ain’t that how everybody’s life seem?”

  “You don’t understand.”

  Harrison held me tighter. “I know you gotta stop staring at these bones, if you ever wanna get out of livin’ in the past.”

  I pushed him away, cutting my eyes at him. “Don’t be disrespectful, Harrison. This was my husband.”

  He grimaced, pointing to the ground. “This here is dirt and bones, and over yonder is dirt and bones for your daddy, too!”

  I hauled a hard slap to his face. Harrison grabbed my arms, shaking me against his body.

  “Let me go!” I screamed.

  “I’ma let you get away with hittin’ me, ’cause you hurtin’ and tryin’ to deny it!” He released my arms, but still held me close to him. “I got your number. You ain’t as big and bad as you think, and I ain’t Otis. You not gonna treat me like some chump. I may be younger, but I’m not a fool with his dick hangin’ between his legs, foamin’ at the mouth.” He toyed with a strand of my hair, softly kissing my temple. “You can stop this tough-girl routine. I wanna help you through hard times,” he said in a softer tone. “Mourn if you gotta, but don’t let sadness take over who you are. Dirt an
d bones? That’s how you want to remember love? Or do you want to feel alive with me?”

  I sucked my teeth, turning my back to him. “What am I supposed to do? Fuck you until you forgive Naomi?”

  He wrapped his arms around me, rocking me amidst the chill of an autumn breeze. “I don’t love her no more, and you know it. I love you, and you love me, so quit looking at this grave. You mighta been Adam’s baby doll, but you my Eve, now. You gonna sin and make mistakes, just like everybody else. A degree don’t save you from being lost in this cold-ass world. We the same, Jasmine. Brokenhearted and trying to find our way back to somethin’ safe.”

  I placed my hands over his, giving in to his touch. He turned me to look into his eyes.

  “I coulda died in Vietnam, and you coulda died the night you lost your baby. But we didn’t. We made it…and I believe we’re made for each other.” Harrison held my chin. “I don’t want nothin’ from you, but your heart. What we got is real, and I know you feel it. Stop actin’ like you don’t need nobody. That’s all I ask.”

  “I love you, Harrison,” I said, holding him tight.

  He picked me up into his arms. “I love you, Miss Jasmine, and as long as we got each other, we gonna be all right.”

  I WANNA HOLD YOU

  Under a cloud-covered sky, Harrison removed the black silk scarf that covered my hair. Unbuttoning my black satin blouse next, he planted a kiss on my neck as I loosened his trousers, sending them to the floor.

  We stood naked behind the shield of oak shutters that adorned his bedroom window. The slats were open just enough to allow the moon room to cast a hue against our silhouette.

  “I’ve missed you so much,” Harrison said as he held my face.

  “I don’t wanna be without you again,” I whispered.

  His smile met mine, brewing a passionate kiss. The dance of our tongues screamed fire and desire.

  “I need to feel you now,” he moaned.

  “Take it, Harrison. I belong to you,” I said, lying on the bed.

  He sucked my pussy as I stroked his manhood, loving the feel of him pulsating against my palm. I spread my legs further, in anticipation of his thickness breaking through my flesh. When he entered me, I gasped. “Harrison, you inside of me feels like Heaven.”