God Ain't Blind

by Mary Monroe

  What I admired about Louis was the fact that he was working so hard to get his catering business off the ground. Richland needed more successful black men like…my husband. But Pee Wee had not had to work that hard to succeed. His barbershop, the most successful of the two black-owned barbershops in Richland, had been passed on to him by his late father. By then, my father-in-law had already set the stage and filled it with dozens of loyal customers. All Pee Wee had to do was walk in and take over. However, my husband was a good barber, and he treated his customers well. If he didn’t, I was convinced that the business his father had built would have folded by now. Even if my relationship with Louis didn’t last that long, I still wanted to see him succeed.

  “If my customers paid me on time, I’d feel a whole lot better,” he revealed.

  “Well, if you ever need any help collecting from some of those slow-paying folks, you can talk to me about that,” I offered, speaking in a firm voice. “My collection company goes after debtors like gangbusters.”

  “I’m glad to hear you say that. Uh, your first invoice from last week is still outstanding. It was supposed to be paid within three days after the event…per our agreement.”

  “What?” My face felt like it was on fire. What could be worse than a collection agency not paying its bills on time? I shook my head and laughed. Louis gently punched me on the arm and laughed, too. “I didn’t know! I’m going to have to speak to the girl who pays our invoices. And while I’m at it, I’d better check to see who else hasn’t been paid on time. I am so sorry.” We both laughed again.

  “I didn’t want to bother you about it. But if I don’t get paid, I can’t pay my bills, either. And I sure enough don’t want my name to end up on your shit list for collection!”

  “From now on, you give your invoices directly to me after one of our events. I will personally see that you get paid on time. As a matter of fact, I will do that for all the rest of our new vendors and clients as well. I’m glad you told me. This is so embarrassing!” I had to laugh again.

  Monday was the first day of work that I’d missed in over six months. Louis had requested that I spend Monday night and part of Tuesday with him, but missing two days in a row was something I didn’t do unless I really had to. Especially when I had to charge the time to sick leave when I was not really sick. As an office manager, I wanted to set a good example for my employees. With Charlotte on an adventure in the Caribbean and my husband doing his own thing, I had extra time to do pretty much whatever I wanted to do, so it wasn’t really necessary for me to play hooky from work too much, anyway.

  “Baby, can’t you just call in sick again tomorrow? I can do the same thing. It would be nice to spend two days in a row with you,” Louis suggested for the third time in the past hour. He pawed my back, even though I had put my clothes back on.

  It was almost midnight, and I wasn’t that anxious to get back to an empty house. The main reason I wanted to leave the motel was that I was tired and sore from my chin on down from all the wallowing around we’d done in that motel bed. Because of my dramatic weight loss, I needed to exercise so that I could firm up and feel more energetic. Therefore, I visited a gym every now and then on my lunch hour and some weekends. But a woman my age had certain limitations. I couldn’t flip and flop around in a bed with a man the way I used to. My arthritis, rheumatism, and sciatica constantly reminded me of that. Louis had ridden me front, back, and sidesaddle like a mule. My body had been out of practice for so long that I needed to get home to recuperate now.

  Louis claimed that it didn’t bother him to be involved with an older woman, and I believed him. But I didn’t want to remind him too often that time was no longer on my side.

  “I’ve told you before, but I will tell you again. One of my dreams is to spend a night with you,” Louis said in a hoarse voice. That comment deserved a kiss. I gave him one of the most passionate ones I could manage without swallowing his tongue.

  “Lou, I appreciate that, but I really can’t spend tonight with you,” I told him, my lips still close to his. “Mr. Mizelle is coming by the office tomorrow. We’re having a staff meeting in the morning, and I need to be there to facilitate it.”

  Louis gave me a puzzled look. “If your boss is gwine to be there, can’t he facilitate it?”

  I shook my head and snickered. “I love Mr. Mizelle to death, but he’s a typical boss. He does as little as possible.”

  “Don’t you have somebody to back you up? What happens when you can’t make it to work?” The puzzled look was still on Louis’s face.

  “Uh, I’m there ninety-nine percent of the time. There’s never been a need for me to have backup support. When I do take off, my workers keep the place running. Besides, I’d like to find out how the luncheon went.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “Well, you were not there to supervise things today. These catered lunches are very important to me.”

  “My folks know how to take care of business almost as good as I do. If I was in a coma for a year, I am confident that my workers would do as good a job as if I were there.”

  I nodded. “I’m glad you feel that way. Now I know I don’t have to worry about things falling apart during one of the luncheons. This is an important project for me, and I want to make sure it works out for everybody. My boss is going to join us for lunch next Monday. He’s so impressed with how productivity and attendance have improved since I started this morale-boosting activity. Because of it, I can’t get any of my folks to miss a Monday even if I pay them.” I laughed. “A nice free lunch goes a long way with a lot of folks.”

  “When will we get together again?”

  “Well, since I’ve already set things up for Thursdays, we’ll get together again this Thursday, I guess. Unless something comes up.”

  After a few more kisses, we left the room. Louis attempted to hold my hand as we walked across the parking lot to his van, but I slapped it away. I had to keep reminding myself, and him, that Richland was a small town full of signifying, instigating people with big eyes, big ears, and big mouths. After we glanced around to make sure we didn’t see anybody we knew, Louis drove me back to my car, and then I drove home.

  I got mildly depressed as soon as I pulled into my driveway. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d come home to such a dark, gloomy house. When Pee Wee and I went out at night, we always left at least one light in the house and the one on the front porch on. But since I’d had other things on my mind when I left the house, I hadn’t even thought about the lights.

  I removed the mail from the mailbox, grabbed the newspaper from my front porch glider, where the paperboy had tossed it, and then I slowly turned the key in the lock. An eerie feeling came over me, so I hesitated before I entered my house. I clicked on the living room light before I shut the door. It was so quiet in the room, it was scary. When the telephone on the end table by the sofa rang, it startled me. But I was glad for the noise, and I was glad that it was Rhoda calling.

  “Have you seen today’s paper?” she asked.

  “Not yet. I just walked in the door,” I told her, staring at the newspaper in my hand like it was Pandora’s box. “Is there something in it I probably don’t want to see?” I asked. The paper suddenly felt hot against the palm of my hand.

  “Get it!” she barked.

  From the tone of Rhoda’s voice, I could tell that whatever was in the newspaper was something she didn’t like. I was afraid to ask what that was.

  CHAPTER 37

  “Something tells me I should have a drink before I read the paper,” I said. I was only half-joking.

  “That might help. I’ve got a shot glass full of tequila in my hand right now. Hurry up! I’ll wait,” Rhoda said, her voice rising.

  Something was wrong. From the tone of her voice, I couldn’t tell if she was anxious about something or angry. But whatever it was, it had to be serious if she thought we both needed some alcohol.

  “Is it something that involves me?”r />
  I heard her slurp her drink and then swallow, with a groan and a single hiccup. “Indirectly, I guess. Now, go get your drink, and you’d better make it a strong one.”

  I trotted into my darkened kitchen, almost knocking over the chair that I had occupied that morning and left sitting a few feet from the table. I clicked on the light and snatched open the cabinet above the sink, where we hid our best liquor from greedy visitors. Drinking from my own shot glass as I walked, I returned to the living room as fast as I could and resumed my conversation with Rhoda.

  “I’m back.” I swallowed some more Jack Daniel’s and let out a mild burp, and then I picked up the newspaper and scanned the front page. “What’s going on, Rhoda?” I asked. “What’s in today’s paper that’s got your panties in such a twist?”

  “Turn to the society page!” she yelled. She was definitely angry.

  “Hold on.” I held the telephone in place with my cheek and shoulder as I flipped through the newspaper. I gasped as soon as I got to the society page. “What in the world? Jade and Marcelo are getting married in two weeks?” I shook my head as I stared at a picture of Jade, grinning like a fool. There were two paragraphs announcing Jade Marie O’Toole’s upcoming nuptials to Marcelo Antonio Ricardo Jose Gomez, son of one of the most prominent families in Cancún, Mexico. I blinked at that last part. Rhoda had told me that Marcelo’s toothless daddy sold T-shirts and chewing gum on the beach, and his mama cleaned hotel rooms. “Is this for real?”

  “Yes!”

  “Oh. Well, what’s the problem? They were engaged, weren’t they?”

  “If they were, it’s news to me! Who told you that?”

  “I ran into them at the mall. Jade introduced Marcelo as her fiancé.” I folded the newspaper and dropped it onto the coffee table as I eased down on my living-room sofa. “You don’t want her to get married?”

  “Yes, I do want my daughter to get married.”

  “But not to Marcelo? He seems like a nice enough guy.”

  “Jade can marry Dracula, for all I care. As long as she’s happy, her daddy and I will be happy. And, as long as the man she marries treats her well.”

  “Well, I hate to say this, but if she married Dracula, I doubt very seriously if she’d be happy for long.”

  “Annette, this is no time for comedy. I am mad as hell!” Rhoda howled.

  “You’re not making much sense, Rhoda. If you want your daughter to get married, and you don’t care who she marries, I don’t understand why you are so upset. Besides, maybe marriage will tame her down a little,” I offered. I sighed and rubbed my chin and crossed my legs to get more comfortable. Whenever Jade was the subject of conversation, my body reacted by getting tense, and it throbbed in some places. However, this was one time that I could not blame Jade for all my aches and pains. Louis had to take most of the blame. Regardless of who or what had caused me some pain, I knew I’d have to swallow some Advil as soon as I got off the phone with Rhoda. I set my shot glass on the coffee table, leaving half of my drink. I knew enough to know that alcohol and pills didn’t go together.

  “Maybe marriage will tame her, but maybe it won’t. I can deal with that. And Marcelo is a sweetie. I’d be proud to have him for a son-in-law. But it’s her timin’ that is so fucked up. My mama is too sick to travel anytime soon, and nobody else in my family, or Otis’s family, can drop everything else goin’ on in their lives and make it to Ohio on such short notice. What kind of weddin’ would it be without the rest of my family? Jade is my only daughter.”

  “Rhoda, you and I both know by now that Jade is going to do what Jade wants to do. We have to live with that.”

  “I guess you’re right.” Rhoda sounded so defeated. I was sorry that I was not with her so that I could give her the bear hug she needed. “As long as you’ll be there for me to lean on when it happens, I’ll be all right, I guess.”

  “Me? There? You mean at Jade’s wedding?” I asked, the words burning in my mouth and ears.

  Rhoda hesitated before she spoke again. And when she did, it was in a low, weak voice. “Yes. I hope so.” She paused, as if waiting for me to confirm my attendance or decline the invitation. I remained silent, because I honestly didn’t know what to say next. “Since I don’t have enough time to plan the wedding that I always wanted for her, it’ll have to be here. In my house.”

  “Rhoda, I don’t know if I can make it. And under the circumstances, my presence might not be appropriate or welcome, anyway,” I protested. “Jade would not hesitate to clown me in front of her guests. Even after all that’s happened, she was not that excited about seeing me at the mall recently.” A sharp pain shot through my stomach from just thinking about how nastily she had treated me in front of that boutique. I saw no reason to reveal too many details about that encounter to Rhoda. She had enough of a mess on her hands.

  “I understand and I respect you for bein’ so open about it. But Jade gettin’ married is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, I hope. And you’d be doin’ it for me, not Jade. I need you there.”

  “Let me think about it,” I said. “Does this invitation include my husband?”

  “Of course, it does! I am surprised that you would even fix your lips to ask me such a dumb question. Pee Wee is always welcome in my house. In fact, I want him at the weddin’ as much as I want you there. He and I have a long, wonderful history, and that’s somethin’ that I can’t ignore. But…” Rhoda’s sudden pause made my heart skip a beat.

  “But what?”

  “I’m goin’ to ask Louis to cater and serve. If you don’t have a problem bein’ around your honey and your husband at the same time, I don’t.”

  “Oh. Now I really have to think about that. I played hooky from work today and spent part of it with Louis, and I don’t even know where that husband of mine is right now.”

  “What do you mean you don’t know where Pee Wee is? He didn’t tell you he was goin’ fishin’?”

  “Yes, he did. But that doesn’t mean that’s where he is. We haven’t been communicating that well lately. He could be anywhere and with anybody, for all I know.”

  “Well, I know for a fact that he’s with Lizel’s husband, Clifford. That hillbilly woman with the orange hair and crooked teeth who runs that bait shop out on Newburg Road told me that Pee Wee and Clifford stopped by there this mornin’ to get some bait and other fishin’ shit. I ran into her at the market a little while ago.”

  “Oh. Maybe he really did go fishing this time,” I said with a smirk.

  “Listen, I have to go, but we can talk tomorrow. I’ve got so many things to work out if I want this weddin’ to be a success. And, I’ve got to pick up Bully at the airport. He’ll be arrivin’ back from London in a couple of hours. Then I’ve got to take him and my husband to the mall to find them suitable suits to wear to the weddin’. If I send them to the mall on their own, they’ll come steppin’ back here with plaid zoot suits and sombreros.”

  “Your lover is going to attend the wedding, too?”

  “He’d better be there.”

  “What about your husband, Rhoda?”

  “What about him?”

  “Won’t he be present? He’s Jade’s daddy.”

  “Of course, he’ll be there, too. I’m in the same boat you’re in, remember? Sometimes a husband is not enough to get us through. Know what I mean?”

  “Yeah, I guess I do,” I responded, my voice dragging and dragging me along with it. “I do know what you mean,” I rolled my eyes. And I did know. Having a husband was no longer enough for me. The deeper I got into my relationship with Louis, the more I wondered just how deep I’d allow it to go.

  CHAPTER 38

  It had rained during the night, and now the air had that damp, gloomy, musty smell to it. The sun was hiding behind dark clouds that looked like big balls of gray cotton. It was the kind of morning that would normally put me in a dark mood, but I was already in a dark mood and had been since my conversation with Rhoda the night before. But this darkness was more p
rofound than usual. I could feel it creeping into everything. Even my soul. I was determined to rise above it, though. And I knew that with Louis’s help, I would.

  As grumpy as my parents were, I missed them and my daughter already. They had called me up as soon as they’d made it to the Bahamas. I was confident that my mother would take good care of Charlotte. That didn’t stop me from worrying, though. But at the same time, I was glad that they were all away for the summer. I had more than enough on my plate to keep me busy.

  I didn’t want to admit it, but right now, Louis was about the only thing that could put a smile on my face. I knew that when I discussed Jade’s upcoming wedding with him and whether or not I would go, I’d feel better about it.

  In the old days, meaning my fat days, I used to get up every single morning and fix a breakfast fit for a Bigfoot family. That feast usually included coffee, milk, and juice; eggs, toast, and biscuits; bacon, sausage, and ham; dollops of jelly; and mounds of butter big enough to choke a mule. I still enjoyed an occasional down-home breakfast. But nowadays a couple of cups of black coffee and one slice of melba toast were enough breakfast for me.

  I had eaten only half of my slice of toast and was halfway through my second cup of coffee when Pee Wee returned from his alleged overnight fishing trip. Since pussy and fish smelled so much alike, I wouldn’t have been able to tell which one he had spent the night with. It was just a few minutes before I had to leave for work that Tuesday morning. He shuffled in through the kitchen door, with a bucket full of assorted fish, but that didn’t mean anything. He could have paid his woman a brief visit and still gone fishing. She could have even gone with him, like I used to. Some women would do anything to be with their man.

  He had not shaved the area around his goatee since I’d last seen him. One thing I could say about my husband was that he was one of the few men I knew who looked good with stubble on his face. It brought back some fond memories. I was glad to see him, but that feeling didn’t last long. His khaki jacket and matching pants were so filthy and wrinkled, he looked like a mountain man. He smelled like one, too. He dropped his fishing pole and bait bucket onto the counter, next to the microwave oven. Then he dumped the fish, most of them still flipping and flopping, into the sink. I didn’t know what kind of fish he had caught, but those critters had my kitchen smelling like a whore’s moneymaker after a busy night.