by Liv Brywood
Pulling her against him, he lifted her into his arms. He carried her toward the closest wall and pinned her against it. He’d intended to carry her to bed, but it was too far. He wanted her right here and now, but he wasn’t a total savage. Her first time wasn’t going to be up against a wall, but in her bed, where he could pleasure every inch of her virgin body.
She didn’t have to tell him that she’d never been with anyone else. Her nervousness gave it away.
“If you want me to stop—”
“Take me to bed.”
He groaned and carried her down the hall.
Inside the bedroom, he laid her on a frilly purple comforter. He covered her with his body but held himself up with his arms.
“I want to kiss you everywhere,” he whispered.
“Okay.”
He wanted to chuckle at her response, but he was too aroused to do anything but unbutton her blouse. His lips found the first hint of exposed flesh. Trailing kisses as he went, he stripped her shirt. Her pants came next. He could hardly see anything in the dark bedroom. He needed some light.
As he slid off the bed, she sat.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“I want to see you.”
“No!”
“Why not?” His brows knitted together.
“I… I just… Don’t.”
He didn’t know what to make of her reluctance. He returned to the bed and crawled in beside her. She pulled him down for another sultry kiss. Maybe she wasn’t ready to go further. He’d respect whatever decision she wanted to make, but he hoped she’d choose soon because his bear was ready to come roaring out.
She moaned against his lips. Her hands work at his shirt until the buttons were free. As he shimmied out of it, she grazed his chest with her knuckles. A shiver of pleasure ran down his spine. Heat pooled in his groin. His cock thickened and pressed against his zipper. He longed to free himself but didn’t want to go too fast.
He really wished he could see her, but if she needed the dark, then he was happy to give it to her. She was probably still worried about her scars, but he didn’t care. Nothing could change the way he felt about her because he needed her. This wasn’t just about spending a night in her bed; it was about so much more. The past couldn’t be changed. The future was too large to contemplate. But the present? He could handle that.
* * *
Laurie moaned as his lips found her throat. She tangled her fingers in his hair and tried to ignore the way his fingers slid down her back and over her scars. She told herself over and over that he wouldn’t care, but he was a ridiculously hot man. If he could have anyone in the world, why would he want someone damaged like her?
She shook away the thought. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was the way his hips pinned hers to the mattress. The solid, comforting pressure made it easier for her to relax. With him, she felt completely safe and protected, not just physically, but emotionally too. She knew it had to be hard for him to go so slow, but she appreciated his gentle caresses and soft kisses.
He slid one hand under her back and unclasped her bra. After tugging it out from under her, he threw it into the corner. He held his breath as he reached for her breasts. She arched to meet his warm palms. His hands perfectly covered her. He softly stroked her breasts and played with her perky nipples.
Wet heat flooded her core. She’d waited a long time to be with someone like this. She should have known Dusty would be the only one she’d want to be with.
“Dusty,” she whispered. “Help me get this off.”
When she tugged at his belt, he grinned and stripped so fast she couldn’t believe it. He was a man on a mission for sure. She couldn’t stop smiling. It wasn’t easy to see him in the low light. A single streetlight cast soft shadows across the room. She wished she’d had the courage to let him turn on the light. Maybe next time.
Her bear roared. It loved the idea of next time. Laurie laughed and silently told her bear that they had to make it through this time first. Her bear chuffed with laughter.
“You’re grinning,” he said.
“My bear’s a little too excited.”
“So is mine.”
“Let’s not make them wait.”
He was still sitting back on his feet when she wrapped her fingers around his hard length. He groaned and hissed a breath.
“You’re going to kill me if you keep stroking it like that.”
“It’s so hard and smooth.”
He gasped as she rubbed her palm across the tip.
“I want you so damn much,” he murmured.
He knelt between her thighs. As he brushed one finger across her velvety lips, she shivered. His tongue replaced his finger and soon he had her on the verge of total ecstasy. She laced her fingers into his. He squeezed her hands and continued to swirl his tongue around her clit.
Tension built in her core. Her hips lifted off the bed. Her thighs fell wide open. His mouth was all over her, teasing, caressing, tormenting her until she couldn’t hold back another second.
She screamed as she came. Tendrils of desire unfurled from deep inside. She throbbed and ached as her body spasmed against his lips.
He crawled up her body.
“I can’t wait,” he said. “I need you right now.”
“I’m right here.”
She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer. He covered her face with kisses before capturing her lips. She tensed slightly. She knew it might hurt, but she was so aroused she couldn’t wait to have him inside her.
He kissed her hard and slid his tongue between her lips. He drove his hips forward. She gasped as he pushed through her barrier and filled her. Pure pleasure quickly replaced the sharp spark of pain. She wrapped her body around his. Her hands clung to the strong muscles in his ass.
As he flexed and thrust deep, she cried out. She could tell he was trying to go slow, but she didn’t want slow. She wanted fast and deep. It was instinctual. She’d never made love before, but she knew exactly what she wanted.
“More,” she urged.
He growled and rolled his hips against hers. She opened her eyes and met his gaze. Locked together, they rode ever increasing waves of tension.
When his mouth found the sensitive spot just behind her ear, she groaned. He sucked and nipped at her earlobe while encouraging her to ride even higher with him. She followed where he led, and soon, they were rushing toward the inevitable peak of ecstasy.
She’d spent a lifetime dreaming of this moment. She couldn’t be patient anymore.
“Please,” she whimpered.
He angled his hips. She screamed and pulsed around his cock. Her vision went glassy, and for one perfect moment, she felt connected to him in a way they’d never been connected before, not even when they were dating all those years ago.
They lay side by side, exhausted, and basking in the perfect afterglow. She snuggled against his chest while he stroked her hair.
“That was perfect,” she said.
“Mm…” He kissed her forehead.
Finally content, her bear curled into a ball in her chest. The beast always did insist he was their mate. Her bear was right. Their bond wasn’t a purely physical one. It was so much deeper than that. He was her mate, but how did he feel about that? She still wasn’t sure if he wanted her for a few weeks or for a lifetime.
“That was incredible,” she whispered as they lay side by side.
“You’re so beautiful.”
She didn’t think so, but she didn’t want to ruin the moment.
“Want to jump in the shower with me?” he asked.
“Um…” A shower would be light. He’d see her scars. She wasn’t sure if she was—
He was off the bed and over to the light switch before she could stop him.
“Dusty, wait!”
It was already too late.
Light flooded the room. His gaze immediately swept up Laurie’s naked body. He was finally seeing the truth. She wanted to curl up in a ball
and die on the spot. She’d never wanted him to see her like this.
Her whole body was covered with scars. Even after all the painful skin grafts she’d endured, she still hated the way she looked. She’d tried every treatment available, but some skin would never be repaired completely.
Tiny scars covered her breasts. A spider web of white scars radiated out from the right side of her body. Most of her body had scars to some extent, but the ones along her waist were the worst. They were where molten pieces of seat belt had literally burned into her flesh.
He was speechless.
“This is all my fault.”
As he reached for her, she recoiled. She grabbed the comforter and wrapped it around her naked body.
“Get out.”
“I’m so sorry,” he said.
“This is why I wanted the lights out. I didn’t want you to see me like this.”
“You’re beautiful. You’ve always been beautiful. The scars don’t change that. They don’t change anything.”
Although he seemed sincere, she couldn’t handle it right now. She’d gone from the heights of joy to the depths of sorrow in seconds. She wasn’t ready to rip open her emotional scars tonight. Some other day, but not tonight.
“I need to be alone,” she said.
“Let me stay… please.”
She shook her head. She wasn’t ready for him to see her like this. Not yet. Damn him for turning on the lights.
“Can I come over tomorrow?” he asked as he slowly dressed.
“I don’t know.”
His face fell. She felt terrible about asking him to leave, but she was two seconds away from bursting into tears. She couldn’t let him see her ugly cry. Deep down, she knew she shouldn’t be so emotional about the scars, but she couldn’t shake it. So many people still looked and pointed if she ever dared to wear shorts or a more revealing T-shirt. The town hadn’t gotten over it, and truth be told, she hadn’t either.
11
Laurie sighed as she sipped a glass of wine in her living room. She was staring at the television but wasn’t actually watching the program. She couldn’t stop thinking about her night with Dusty. It had been a week, but she couldn’t stop obsessing about that night.
Throwing him out had been a mistake. She hated how much her scars still affected her mentally. She should have been over it by now, but she wasn’t. She didn’t want Dusty to look at her and see scars. She wanted him to look at her and see her the way she used to be, before the accident.
Molly purred as she sat curled in a ball on Laurie’s lap. The feline extended her body into a languid stretch. Laurie reached down and stroked the cat’s silky fur with the same absentmindedness. Cats had it so easy. All they had to do was lie around and get petted all day. They didn’t have to worry about the past or the future, just the present. She wished she could transform herself into a cat.
She hadn’t returned his calls yet. She wasn’t ready. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be ready. She wasn’t willing to risk her heart until she knew for sure if he was staying or not. She knew relationships were hard and took work, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to make the effort. Dusty hadn’t said a word about wanting to stay in town, so why was she risking anything for him?
Because you love him, her bear rolled her eyes. Duh.
“Oh, stop. Sometimes I swear you’re like a teenager in heat.”
Rawr! Her bear chuffed.
Laurie sighed and took another sip of wine.
Her phone rang. It was probably Dusty again. He’d been calling all morning.
She glanced at the screen before answering.
“Hey, Julia,” she said as cheerfully as she could manage.
“How are you doing?” Julia’s tone held a note of worry. “I thought I’d see you at the café this morning. Are you still at home?”
“I’m fine.” Laurie rubbed her eyes. She’d hardly slept the previous night. “No, I guess that’s not true. I’m not fine. Not really.”
“Because of Dusty? I know it can’t be easy to have him back in town.”
As Laurie stood, Molly meowed and jumped out of her lap onto the sofa. Laurie stretched and tried to shake off her sudden bout of depression.
“Want me to come over?” Julia asked.
“I’m fine. It’s not Dusty, it’s me.” Laurie shook her head. “Things were going really well, and then I messed everything up.”
“What happened? Did he… Oh, baby, I want details!” Julia loved gossip. She wouldn’t let up until Laurie confessed. Fortunately, Julia was her closest friend and she could tell her anything.
“He almost spent the night last week… It was good.” Laurie hid her face in her hands.
“Good good or good good?
“Do you have to be so junior high about it?”
“Yes, I do, that’s my job.”
“Well, you’re fired.” Laurie couldn’t keep amusement from her tone. Leave it up to Julia to make her laugh.
“Take it up with human resources.” Julia’s voice took on a more somber tone. “So, if things were going good good, then why do you sound so sad?”
“He saw my scars.”
“So?”
“All of them.”
“So?”
“Are you serious?”
“He clearly wanted you. Besides, you’re forgetting the cardinal rule.”
“Cardinal rule?”
“If a man gets your naked, he doesn’t give a crap about anything but sticking his cock in you. He’s not going to be worried about a few scars.” Julia chuckled. “Right now, you’re sitting on your sofa watching reality TV—but not really watching it—with a glass of wine in your hand and a cat or two in your lap. That’s sad.”
“I’m not…” Laurie scowled at the wine glass and set it down on the coffee table. “Well, you’re wrong about the cat.”
“But I’m not wrong about you and Dusty. If you want him to stay, then you need to tell him. Men don’t know what you’re thinking if you don’t tell them. I have a feeling that he wants you too. He wouldn’t have been over at your place if he didn’t want you.”
“Maybe he only wanted one night.”
“Has he called you since?”
“About a hundred times.”
“I swear I’m going to come over and smack you. Of course, he’s interested!” Julie huffed. “No man calls that many times unless he’s really interested in someone. Dusty’s only ever had eyes for you. Besides, as far as I know, he’s never been a one-night stand kind of guy. He wasn’t with anyone but you when he lived here before.”
“You can’t know that for sure.”
“Maybe not for sure, but it doesn’t matter now. You’ll never know what he really wants until you stop moping around. You need to go see him and talk to him. Like an adult.”
“Yes, Mom,” Laurie said sarcastically. She brushed cat hair off of her lap. “Seriously though, thank you. You’re right. I need to talk to him and tell him how I feel.”
“Communication is the only way to go. Call him. Go see him. Then call me later and tell me everything.”
“Okay,” Laurie laughed. “I’m going to go see him.”
“I’m expecting graphic details later.”
After the call ended, Laurie headed outside. She hopped onto her bicycle. As she pedaled toward the house, she tried to figure out what she was going to say to him. She wasn’t sure where to even start.
“I know you’re revolted by my scars, but let’s be together anyway?” Sarcasm dripped from her tone.
“If we keep the lights off, you’ll never have to see me?”
Fire up the pity party, her bear grumbled. He wanted you last week; he’ll want you tonight too. He’s our mate. If you two would pull your heads out of your asses, you would see that you’re perfect for each other.
“You never mince words.”
Life’s too short, her bear said.
As she pedaled down the road, rubber tires whirred through the crisp mountain a
ir. A bead of sweat trickled down her cheek. She hoped she wouldn’t sweat through the heavy layer of foundation she’d applied. Of course, if he was truly disgusted with her scarred flesh, wouldn’t it be better to get it out in the open?
Dusty’s house was abuzz with activity. Men carried cardboard boxes from inside the house to a rental truck parked near the curb. Dusty was nowhere in sight, but Laurie spotted Mason following one of the movers, his face was scrunched up in anger.
“Don’t break my PS4, or I swear to God I’ll—Laurie!” He ran over to her and grabbed her hand. “You have to talk to Dusty. You have to make him change his mind.”
“Change his mind about what?”
“Moving.” Mason scowled at the movers and flipped them his middle finger.
“Mason!”
“They’re being clumsy with all my stuff. I keep telling them I’m not moving to Nebraska, but—”
“Nebraska?” Laurie shook her head. “What in the world are you talking about?”
“Dusty wants to move back to Nebraska, but I don’t want to live in Nebraska.” He grabbed both her hands and squeezed. “Pleeeeeease, tell him not to go.”
Laurie gently disentangled herself from the boy and patted him on the cheek.
“I’ll go talk to him.”
“I can’t move to Nebraska! I don’t want to leave my friends. I don’t want to go to a new school. Make him understand,” he whined.
“Okay, I’ll talk to him. All right?”
“That’s what adults say when they aren’t going to do anything.” Mason’s lips pressed into a thin line. “You’re not going to stop him.”
“I said I’ll talk to him, but I can’t do anything until you stop pulling on my arm.”
“Oh, sorry.” Mason released her.
She skirted around the movers and headed right through the wide-open front door. She didn’t bother to stop and knock, which would have been more polite. She was all out of politeness. Dusty could mess up his life if he wanted to, but she wouldn’t let him mess up Mason’s too.
Her glaze darted around the house. Boxes stood in loose, unorganized stacks. Some were stacked too high. They were on the verge of toppling over.
