by Liv Brywood
“How do I know which way is the right way?”
“You know it in your heart.”
“Ha! I don’t think I have one.”
“You? Maybe not.” A glimmer of humor flickered in his eyes.
“You already know which way is the right way. You’re just afraid of everything you need to do to work things out between you and Laurie—and you and Mason.”
“He hates me.”
“I’d hate you too if you were trying to make me move.” Carl turned to face Dusty. “Look, it’s your decision to make, not mine. You can choose to continue to let the past define you, or you can let go of your past and redesign your future. I think you’re ready to move on. You’re just scared.”
“Maybe.”
“Laurie moved on a long time ago. She never let the accident stop her.”
“She hadn’t dated anyone.”
“Because she still loves you, you fool. I swear, you need to pull your head out of your ass and go get your mate. All this human suffering crap needs to end. We’re shifters, dammit, and we deserve a good life. You deserve a good life. You made one mistake. One. Don’t make another one by leaving her.”
“Thanks,” Dusty said as Carl stood. “You always know exactly what to say. I wish I could be like that.”
“Just go tell her what’s in your heart. If it comes out all convoluted and messed up, it’s okay. She’s a smart woman. She’ll figure out what you’re trying to tell her. But don’t pussyfoot around. Be blunt. Tell her you love her.”
“Oh, well, I—”
“Deny it and I’ll punch you in the throat. I may be an old man, but I still have moves.” Carl put up his fists and danced around like a boxer.
Dusty laughed and stood to shake his friend’s hand.
“I expect a full report tomorrow. And don’t try to piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining, kid. I’ve got a good thirty years on you, and I can smell bullshit a mile away.” Carl circled around the side of the house before heading toward his car. “Call me when you get things figured out.”
13
After telling the movers that they should head home for the day, Dusty hopped on his bike. Mason climbed on behind him. Earlier, Dusty had called Carl and to ask if he could drop Mason off. Carl had agreed to watch him, but only if Dusty was heading to Laurie’s house. He was, so Carl told him to come right over.
“Be good. I’ll be back later tonight or first thing tomorrow.” He told Mason as he dropped him off at Carl’s house.
“Don’t screw this up,” Mason said.
Dusty wasn’t sure how much the kid knew, but he wasn’t stupid.
“I won’t.”
Mason gave him a ghost of a smile before heading into Carl’s house. Carl waved from the door.
As Dusty pulled away, he revved the engine. He rumbled through town toward Laurie’s house. When he reached her house, he parked and walked up the path to her front door. He rang the bell then waited.
When he didn’t hear any sounds from inside the house, he peeked into the window. Curtains blocked most of the view, but he was able to spot her three cats. They were curled up on the couch. As far as he could tell, Laurie wasn’t home.
She walked almost everywhere, so finding her could be tricky. Fortunately, his bitchy bear would be able to locate her if he could find her scent trail.
He quickly moved around the back of Laurie’s house for some measure of privacy before stripping down naked. He nudged his bear awake. The beast roared with excitement. His shoulders broadened with a sharp crack. His ribcage crackled as his torso expanded. He yelled as his spine lengthened and changed configuration. He fell on all fours, catching himself on his furry paws.
Now in bear form, he bent his shiny black nose toward the earth. The stench of the cat’s litter box made him sniffle and growl. He moved away from the trash bin where the cat litter had been emptied.
He crisscrossed the yard several times. Laurie had left many scent trails leading away from her home. He was having a hard time picking out the most recent trail.
One finally jumped out to overpower the rest. Excited, his bear followed this trail out of her back yard and into the expansive woods. His bear upped its pace into a canter.
Here and there, he spotted signs that she’d been through here recently. He found a freshly broken twig, a leaf that had caught a stray bead of saliva, and finally a trail of soft paw prints in the earth.
As he followed her trail, a group of deer darted away. Normally, he would’ve chased the scent of fresh meat, but emotional turmoil kept his human half focused on finding Laurie.
He still didn’t know what he was going to say when he found her. He’d figure it out after he caught up with her. Until then, he tried not to focus on the future. He stayed in the present, tracking her scent.
When he realized he was getting close, his bear let out an eager growl. As he padded over the top of a wooded hill, the lake appeared. Flashes of sunlight reflected off rippling water. The sun sunk lower on the horizon. It would be setting in about an hour or so. He hoped he’d find her before dark.
As he reached the lake, he spotted Laurie’s bear sitting on a log. She was staring out at the lake. In bear form, furless patches of skin covered parts of her back. He hadn’t realized the scars remained even when she was shifted.
Her nose and ears twitched. She knew he was there.
Carefully, he lumbered over to the log. He sat next to her, but he wasn’t close enough to touch her. The wood creaked as he settled his heavy form onto it.
They stared out at the lake together.
He turned to look at her. She glanced at him but then turned away to stare at the lake once more. He let out a frustrated huff and shifted back into human form.
“Laurie…” He sighed and tried to find the right words. “I don’t know how to let go of the past. It seems impossible. But I want to let go. I just don’t know how.”
* * *
Laurie groaned. She stood and lumbered behind a tree. She shifted from bear form to human form. She continued to hide until after she’d redressed in her clothes. She didn’t want Dusty to see her scarred body. She wasn’t sure why he’d searched for her, but she didn’t want to scare him away.
After getting dressed, she moved out from behind the tree. Dusty was waiting for her.
“Letting go is easy. It only takes a second,” she said. “I won’t lie. I held onto bitterness for many years after the accident. But then one day I had an epiphany. I realized that I could go on being upset about the past, or I could let it go and try to build a better future.”
“You make it sound so easy, but it’s not. You won’t let me see you.”
“I… That’s different.”
“How? You want me to let go, but you’re not really letting go of everything either. You’re beautiful. Scars or not, you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”
Her breath caught in her throat. After the accident, no one had called her beautiful. Until Dusty.
“We’re not talking about me.” Laurie crossed her arms over her chest and glared. “If you want to change, then change. It’s really that simple. I don’t know why you’re trying to make it seem complicated when it’s not. If you want to let go of the past, then do it. Just let it go.”
His face scrunched up with annoyance. He matched her defiant stance.
“Oh, really?” Dusty shook his head. “I can’t believe you could be that much of a hypocrite.”
Laurie’s mouth fell open, and she blinked several times before she could speak.
“Hypocrite?” She scoffed. “How am I a hypocrite? I’m not the one running away.”
“You tell me to let go of the past, but what are you doing?” Dusty dropped his arms to his sides and then jabbed a finger in her direction. “You’re still living in the past too. You won’t let anyone into your life. No one can touch you because you won’t let them.”
She turned her back on him, hugging her body tightly. Her fingers t
raced the lines of her scars through the thin fabric of her T-shirt.
“It’s not the same thing.” Her voice trembled.
“Laurie.” His footsteps moved closer until they stopped behind her. He put his hand on her shoulder. She shivered involuntarily. “I still think you’re as beautiful as the day we met. You’re stunning.”
“You only think I’m still beautiful because you haven’t seen my scars. We made love in the dark, remember?”
“I remember every second of that night,” he whispered as he slowly turned her to face him. He took her hands in his and squeezed. “Do you really think I’m that shallow?”
“I—no.” Laurie sighed, staring down at their linked hands. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”
A half-smile lifted the corner of Dusty’s mouth.
“Then I guess I’ll have to prove it to you.” He released one of her hands and used the other to tug her away from the lake.
“Where are we going?”
“Back to your place.” Dusty gave her hand a tight squeeze. “So we can make love in broad daylight.”
“The sun’s setting soon.”
“Well then, we’ll just have to turn on all the lights in your bedroom.”
Her heart skipped a beat. Her cheeks flushed. She followed him back along the trail to her house. She was scared but also relieved. He hadn’t left. Not yet. Maybe there was still hope for them. She wasn’t sure about letting him see her scars, but he was right. She was still holding back. If she couldn’t give herself to him completely, then how could she expect him to do the same thing?
Wordlessly, they entered the house. When the door closed behind them, her nerves kicked into overdrive. Her heart hammered. If she didn’t stop him soon, she’d be exposed. Her scarred body would be laid bare for Dusty. He’d see everything. Her doctors were the only people who’d seen her completely naked since the accident.
“Trust me,” he murmured as he led her bedroom.
As if sensing her fear, Dusty took her hand and brought it up to his lips. His brown eyes softened with compassion, and if she wasn’t mistaken, love. He pressed a soft kiss against the back of her hand. He gently pulled her close and held her.
As one minute bled into the next, she gradually relaxed. This was Dusty. Her mate. The man she’d loved her entire life. And he wanted to see her. All of her. Could she go through with it?
“I’m scared.”
“You don’t have to show me anything, but I hope you will. I hope you’ll trust me.”
“I do.”
Dusty tucked a long strand behind her ear. Their eyes met and held. She leaned forward and nodded slowly. He let out a soft breath and smiled.
“Tell me if you want me to stop.”
“I’m ready.” She tried to sound brave but fear still shadowed her tone.
At first his kiss was gentle, but when she moaned and opened her lips to him, he took complete control. His mouth pressed against hers. Their tongues melted into a passionate kiss.
She sighed and wrapped her hands around his shoulder before pulling him closer. His hands slid down her back and across the rough edges of her scarred flesh. She tensed.
“Shh… I’ve already touched you here before. You’re beautiful.”
She wanted to cry because she knew he wasn’t lying. He really did think she was beautiful. She trusted him because she knew he’d never lie to her. He might be a chicken and he might have tried to run out of town without telling her, but he’d never lied. Not once.
His palms rested on her lower back. The tension in her muscles faded. Warmth seeped into her body where they touched.
Setting sunlight streamed in through the window. Shadows settled into the corners of the room.
“Can I turn on the lights?” he asked.
She nodded.
As he walked toward the light switch on the wall, she unclenched her hands. She wanted him to see her. She was sick of living with the scars. She just hadn’t trusted anyone enough to reveal them. But she trusted him.
When he flipped the switch, light flooded the room. She squinted at various lamps. She hadn’t realized how many she’d had in her bedroom. One would have been enough. But he might as well see everything.
She reached for the top button on her shirt. Her fingers trembled. Her gaze dropped to the button. He crossed to where she stood and gently put his hands over hers.
“Let me,” he whispered.
She gave him a soft smile.
He deftly unhooked the top button, then the next, and the next. As he peeled her shirt open, she shivered. He gave her a questioning look. She caressed his cheek. He lowered his lips to the hollow of her throat.
As he spread soft kisses over her exposed skin, he continued unbuttoning the shirt. When he finished, he slid it off her shoulders. It pooled into a pile of fabric at her feet.
His gaze dropped to her side where most of the scarring began. He didn’t recoil from the sight. Instead, he dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around her waist.
“I never should have left you.”
“You shouldn’t have.”
“How can I make it up to you?”
“You already are.”
He kissed the trembling flesh on her belly before grazing the scars with his lips.
“Does it hurt when I touch them?” he asked.
“Not really. I can’t feel anything in some spots.”
As his mouth moved over her, she fought back tears of joy. She hadn’t let anyone touch her like this. She’d never let anyone this close.
“Oh, Dusty...” Her breathing sped up as he unhooked the button on her jeans.
When his fingers brushed against her skin, her body instantly responded to his touch. He pulled the zipper down and then helped her shimmy out of her jeans.
His hot mouth resumed its journey across her skin. Scarred or unscarred, he didn’t seem to care. He kissed her the same, no matter where he touched her.
“You’re so beautiful.”
In his eyes, she was beautiful, and she believed him.
He guided her to the edge of the bed before easing her back into the sheets. He crawled up next to her.
As he flicked his tongue across her nipple, she trembled. Her nipple ached to feel the heat of his mouth again. When he tugged her nipple between his lips, she moaned. He suckled and licked and caressed her until she was ready to break wide open.
“Dusty,” she whimpered.
He slid his mouth over to her other breast. He teased and tormented it until she was begging for more. She tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled him up for another kiss.
“I missed you so much,” he said.
“I missed you too.” She stroked her hand through his soft hair.
“I love your legs. They’re so silky.” He trailed his fingers up her thigh. “And you know what else I like?”
“Oh, I have no idea.” She flashed a sexy smile.
“I think you do.”
“Uh uh.”
“It starts with a “P” and rhymes with… Uh.”
“Tushie?”
“Right?”
They both burst out laughing.
“You’re ridiculous,” she said.
“You won’t be thinking that in a second.”
“Oh, really?”
“Mm.” He slid down until his face was close to her moist center. “You won’t be thinking about anything but my tongue.”
And she didn’t. Not for the next five minutes. She was fully engulfed in sensation. Each stroke of his tongue aroused her more and more until she was wild with desire.
“Please make me come,” she whimpered.
“Not yet.”
“Ugh!”
“Patience.” His hot breath caressed her skin. “You’ll be screaming soon enough.”
She laughed and swatted at his head.
When he captured her clit between his lips, she let out a low, sensual moan. She lifted her hips and opened wider.
&n
bsp; “You taste better than honey.” Dusty mumbled
“Oh God.” Laurie arched her back.
His tongue swirled in tighter and tighter circles. She balanced on the razor’s edge of an orgasm, unable to push herself over the edge. But then he did.
He lashed her clit with his tongue until she thrashed against him. He held her hips and kept sucking and licking while sharp spasms wracked her body.
And just when she thought he was done, his mouth coaxed another orgasm from her body. She rode the second wave until she crashed back into the bed.
“I love listening to you come.” He climbed up to cover her body with his.
“I need you inside me.”
“Anything you want.” He knelt between her thighs and stroked his cock. “Anything.”
He braced himself over her as he slid his cock between her thighs. He found her wet center and drove deep. She gasped as he filled her completely. She eyes rolled back and she bit her bottom lip.
“Oh, honey.” Dusty’s eyes closed as he rocked into her. “I love being inside you.”
“I know it’s only been a week, but I missed you.” Her voice was barely a whisper, but he’d heard enough to make him smile.
He thrust deep before pulling almost all the way out, then he drove back to fill her. She arched to meet him, taking all of him. She wanted every inch of him inside her, and he was, over and over until she couldn’t tell the difference between her cries of passion and his.
Outside, the sun began to set. Its light became a muted red as the sun sank below the horizon. The room remained brightly lit by the lamps. She didn’t care about the light anymore. She only cared about him, about being with him and loving him.
She pulled him close and kissed him. The tension grew until it reached a breaking point. She crashed over the edge, taking him with her. He grunted and thrust hard one last time. He filled her with warmth as she spasmed around him. She clung to him until all of the energy left her body. Then she went limp.
He collapsed on top of her before rolling to one side. He pulled her close.
“You’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted like this.”
