Into the Storm: Into the Storm Trilogy Book One
Page 16
Of course she’d been interested, because she loved being part of Rose’s rituals, and wanted to know more, and be able to do more, but now she was scared. She wasn’t magical. She couldn’t channel energy, change her fate or implore the gods for favours. What was she thinking, that she could ever be anything like the priestess she had come to admire so much, or even like her daughter, who seemed wise beyond her years, and kinder and sweeter than anyone she’d ever known?
Of course Violet had tried to reassure her, and make her feel better about herself – she had a knack for encouraging people to see the potential within themselves – but now she just felt awkward and stupid all over again, and totally out of her depth. It was becoming a common sensation.
Smoothing her long black velvet dress down around her hips, she tried to dredge up some confidence, but she felt uncomfortable, like she was playing dress-ups, pretending to be someone or something she wasn’t. Someone magical, and mysterious, someone enchanting and full of the possibility of creating the life she wanted.
Deciding again that she should flee, Beth turned back towards the door – and ran smack bang into Rose. Damn.
The priestess smiled at her as though she’d heard her cursing, and folded her into her arms for a hug. “It’s lovely to see you again Beth, and I’m so glad you came today,” she said, leading her to the stairs.
The black-clad younger woman resigned herself to having to attend, and was relieved to find a small flicker of excitement hiding beneath her fears. The whole trip back for Jenny’s wedding had been about facing her fears and doing it anyway – facing her mother, forging a relationship with the sister she’d always felt hadn’t liked her, making friends with Mike and Violet, and, perhaps strangest of all, taking part in magical moon rituals, which was a whole world away from her comfort zone. So this class was just one more thing she had to get through to become a stronger, better version of herself, right?
She thought she’d convinced herself, yet when she walked into the room with Rose, who was resplendent in an amethyst dress, and saw that everyone else was also clothed in bright jewel colours, she blushed. Of course she was the only one who looked like a stereotypical try-hard witch. Why hadn’t Violet told her to dress in vivid hues? Why hadn’t she thought to ask her if there was a dress code? And where was her friend anyway? Cheeks flaming, she thought again about leaving, but Rose took her hand.
“It’s all fine Beth, and you look beautiful,” she said gently, drawing her into the room. “Violet sends her apologies – she’s been throwing up all night, so I ordered her to stay in bed – but you’ll feel right at home here with us.”
Quickly she introduced Beth to the other women who had assembled, but everything was a blur, and panic washed over her as she realised she wasn’t taking in any of the names. When Rose stared into her eyes though, a sensation of peace and calm enveloped her. It made her worries disappear, yet that in itself made her nervous. How had they disappeared? Perhaps when people described Rose Tyler as a witch, they really were being literal.
The priestess laughed, and Beth felt a shiver of fear. Had she read her mind? Was that even possible? Reluctantly she joined the other women as they all sat down on soft cushions arranged in a circle, and took out notebooks and pens.
Once they were all settled, Rose carved out the magical space between the worlds that they would work within, then welcomed the deities and the elements to their learning circle. Already the words were becoming familiar to her, from the two rituals she’d been to already, and she felt comforted as they enveloped her in warmth and wonder.
And as soon as Rose began the teachings, Beth forgot her anxiety and her self-consciousness, and allowed herself to fall into the reassuring swirl of the magic the priestess wove.
“Some of you have come today out of curiosity, some because a friend recommended it, some because you’ve been to a few of our rituals and want to know more about it all, and one or two remain sceptical – which is a good place to be,” she said, and smiled at Beth when she blushed.
“Please know that whatever your reason for being here today, you have come at the right time for you, and will learn whatever it is you need to know. I understand that there is still some fear around the word ‘witch’, in this room and within the community, but I want to set your mind at ease. Witchcraft is simply an earth-honouring spiritual path, which encourages your own self-development, self-determination and self-awareness, and which most importantly sees nature as sacred, and our connection to it as vital. There is no worshipping of evil forces, no doing harm, no brainwashing.”
A glint of amusement sparkled in Rose’s eyes as she heard the sigh of relief that echoed around the circle, and Beth was surprised to realise she’d been holding her breath waiting for that reassurance too. She smiled as she slowly exhaled.
“The funny thing is, we all practise magic, even those who denounce me as a witch. Whether it’s making a wish as we blow out the candles on our birthday cake or drinking a toast to the new year, magic is a part of life, a part of our world, it’s just that many people close their eyes to it and turn away from all the enchantment we can taste and feel and touch, if we only let ourselves.”
Beth wondered why not everyone embraced it then, if it was so lovely, so natural, so simple, and was rewarded with another smile. Yep, Rose was definitely reading her mind.
“Good question Beth,” she announced with a cheeky grin. “It is simple, but it isn’t easy. It involves a lifetime of study, of hard work and hard-won experience. But having said that, you can begin right now, today, because the most important thing is your will and your intent, your connection to the earth and to your own inner wisdom.”
Rose gazed around the circle, making everyone there feel as though she was speaking only to them, her voice intimate, her meaning clear. “Witchcraft is an internal thing, not external – you are responsible for your own ethics, and your own choices. There aren’t any strict rules or prescribed beliefs, there’s no single book or ‘one true way’, there’s no hierarchy of power, or of people telling you what to do,” she explained.
“It’s about taking responsibility for yourself and your actions, being aware of consequences, and seeking your own faith, developing your own creed. Others are happy to teach you things, to help, to share, to inspire, but you’re also encouraged to do your own study, and discover your own beliefs and morals, because no single person on earth will be on the exact same path that you are on. They won’t have the same experiences, interests, dreams, skills, questions, powers.”
Alarmed, Beth stared at the priestess. Powers? That freaked her out. She’d only gone to the first ritual because she wanted to get to know Mike better, and if she was honest, she’d thought that Violet’s belief in magic was a little strange. Then again, she definitely had felt something during the two rituals she’d taken part in, and in the healing session with Rose – but she’d just assumed it was Rose who had the power.
“Oh Beth, all of us have magic within us. You have magic within you. Witchcraft is not hierarchical, it’s not about a powerful person, or a supernatural being, holding something over you, dictating wisdom, knowing more, controlling the outcome – every person has the ability to create their own life, and weave together all the magic and potential of the universe. But you have to know that for yourself, believe it, and feel it deep within you. I hope that today’s workshop will help you begin to achieve that,” she said.
“Now I’m just going to run through a few brief cliff notes, to give you all the basics, then we’ll start exploring and creating our own spells and rituals. But please feel free to interrupt me at any time, and to ask any questions you have. Today will be tailored for all of you, so I need to know your interests.”
Intrigued, Beth picked up her purple pen, and started furiously scribbling down notes.
Do witches cast spells?
This is usually the first thing I’m asked, and yes, we do. But they’re not the movie-style spells of enchantment and
greed and corrupting someone’s will. We don’t work magic or cast spells to turn someone into a toad, or make a person love us, or force anyone to do anything at all against their will. Spells are like prayers, they are a sending out of our intention into the world, which is then backed up with action and belief. They can involve chants, invocations, herbs, flowers, crystals, colours, sacred days – or be as simple as focusing your will and speaking your intent.
What do witches do?
We work with the cycles of the moon, the earth and the sun, connecting with the turning of the seasons, celebrating the eight sabbats, or festivals, of the Wheel of the Year, attuning to the energy of the earth as it swells with growth and abundance in spring, comes to fruition in summer, starts to wane in autumn, then goes within, conserving energy, during winter. We work with nature, with energy, with plants and crystals, and with the elements and directions. We help and we heal, and we divine the future as well as the past, looking within our own hearts to discover our inner truths, as much as we look for others. Most of all we work with intent, aware of the consequences of our words, our thoughts and our actions, and I can’t stress strongly enough just how important that is.
Is there one correct way or belief?
There are many different pagan paths, and different blends of spirituality and wisdom, from druidry and shamanism to witchcraft, goddess worship and vodou. And over time you may be drawn to one of these paths more than others, or you might prefer to combine the aspects of several of them that resonate with you into your own eclectic practice. There are many different deities too. Some people work with just one god or goddess, as a single being, while others build a relationship with a whole pantheon, perhaps Greek, Roman, Egyptian or Celtic, and see them all as aspects of the divine. Others reject all deities and simply revere the natural world. Some practitioners work in a coven, while others walk the path alone. All are valid – there is no single truth, or “proper” way to work magic.
Are there limits, or can we do whatever we like?
Yes, there are limits. This is a path of self-responsibility, of changing ourselves rather than others. We follow the three-fold law, that what we direct outward returns to us three times stronger, thus pain and negativity are never part of our spellworkings because we know it will harm us more than anyone else. Not that we would wish harm on anyone though, regardless of that rule! And we never bind anyone to us or impinge on another person’s free will – so no making someone love you, or changing someone else’s life, or casting on behalf of anyone without their permission. There are consequences to any magic you wield, and you are responsible for them. Responsible for yourself, and every action you take, or don’t take.
Rose paused for a moment, as a gasp of surprise rippled around the circle, and one of the women giggled nervously. Beth wondered if she’d cast a love spell on someone and was suddenly worried the priestess would find out – which seemed likely, given that she’d read every thought Beth had had since walking into the room.
“Admittedly, there is no way we can police this,” Rose said, sounding sad yet stern. “There are a few unscrupulous people who have embraced witchcraft in order to take advantage of those who seek to learn, who have no qualms in abusing free will, in creating power imbalances and declaring themselves gurus. So please be discerning with who you learn from or take part in rituals with. Never do anything you feel uncomfortable about.”
A shiver of recognition raced up Beth’s spine, and her thoughts flew to Andrew, to his insistence on her doing what he wanted, when he wanted, and his belief that he was better than her, more “enlightened”, and she should follow him. She wondered why she hadn’t seen it that way at the time, why she’d felt so flattered that he was interested in her.
A softly-worded query by one of the women about working skyclad broke into her thoughts, and she returned her attention to the class and to their teacher.
“That’s a great question,” Rose said, approval in her voice. “Part of the answer is related to my last comment, that you should never do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Working naked is something that should be reserved for a circle in which you trust every member. And even if you’ve done it once, it doesn’t mean you have to do it every time – you must decide who and what you feel at ease with, and that could change day-to-day depending on all kinds of things. If you ever get a bad vibe from someone, or feel pressured in any way, just politely excuse yourself and leave.”
The woman opposite Beth looked relieved, but the original questioner seemed disappointed, at least until Rose continued.
“Of course this goes both ways, because witchcraft embraces all parts of us, our minds and our bodies, and encourages us to feel comfortable in our skin, to shake off the feelings of shame that some religious paths inflict, particularly on women. So don’t do anything you feel uncomfortable about – but equally, don’t ever let anyone make you feel ashamed. You are perfect just the way you are, and working skyclad with a circle in which you love and trust every person can be an incredibly healing experience. There is no shame in it. No shame in being you.”
Her words struck a chord deep within Beth, and she felt a warmth spreading through her mind and her heart. A light was being shone into the darkest recesses of her mind, bringing up all the cruel taunts her mother had thrown at her over the years – shaming her about her body, her appearance, her personality, her boyfriends, her attitude, her very being, which had held her hostage in so many ways – and gently burning them away.
Throughout the day she kept taking notes, scribbling in great detail about how to cast a circle and carve out your own protected space in which to make magic. How to welcome the guardians and the directions, and the gods and goddesses, and build a relationship with them based on respect and reciprocity. How to work with the elements in a practical yet enchanted way. And as she wrote, a small part of her was watching, astonished, as the light within her grew, and blossomed, and marvelling as she felt a huge weight lift from her shoulders and melt away to nothing.
As they paused for a cup of tea and a slice of Rose’s homemade lemon cake in the afternoon, the priestess broke into Beth’s reverie and drew her back into the room.
“If anyone is interested, our Year and a Day course starts soon. We’ll gather every week to explore all of these topics, and to celebrate the seasonal festivals, honour the moon phases, study healing and divination, cast spells for ourselves and others – learn and grow and become stronger together. It will be a small, intimate group, and it will require a great deal of work on your part, and a willingness to be fearless as you examine your life and your spiritual practice,” she warned.
“But it will be rewarding beyond measure, so I hope that you will give yourself this opportunity to share and to grow, and to find the magic that is already within you.”
Beth felt herself starting to awaken, to come alive, and a great yearning built within her, a longing to be part of this circle, to feel this sense of connection with the priestess, and with the rest of the group, and most importantly with her own true self, which she felt had been hidden all these years, even from her.
As evening approached and the sky outside began to darken, Rose closed the circle, and everyone slowly disbanded. After Beth had gathered her belongings, the priestess came over and invited her home to see how Violet was. And so the two women walked together through the gloaming, a soft sparkle of enchantment still dancing just outside of Beth’s vision.
“So, do you think you’ll join us for our Year and a Day of study?” Rose asked, and Beth felt a whole world of possibility unfolding within her. Yet her fear remained.
“I’m not sure I should – I don’t want to slow the group down, or be in the way,” she muttered.
“Oh Beth, you won’t slow anyone down. No prior knowledge is necessary – that’s the point of it, everyone will be learning together, growing together, tapping in to their own wisdom together. You’ll teach as much as you learn, that’s the beauty of such a circl
e. I will learn things from all of you too,” she insisted.
“The lessons will evolve depending on the interests of each of the participants, and everyone will have a chance to choose a topic, and plan a ritual if they’d like to, and run one, or to just take part if they’d prefer to be less vocal. It’s a wonderful way to push through your limitations and work through your fears, and we’ll all help each other become stronger in all aspects of our lives, not just the magical side.”
Beth’s eyes shone as she allowed herself to imagine a future with the enchantment of a weekly ritual circle underpinning it, and finally she nodded.
“I’d really like that,” she said softly, shyly. “But I don’t know how long I’ll be staying here.”
Rose smiled knowingly, then bent down to pat the black cat that had emerged onto the pavement and was weaving around her ankles.
“This is Shadow,” she said, voice full of love. “And Shadow, this is Beth,” she added. As Rose opened the gate and turned in towards the front door, the cat looked up at Beth with wise green eyes, and the small white star on her forehead seemed to glow in the soft light of the street lamp.
“Hello Shadow,” she whispered, and leaned down to stroke her soft, fuzzy head. When the cat started to purr, Beth felt a wave of peace and joy wash over her, and she followed her new friend up the steps and into the cottage.
Violet was out in the kitchen, stirring a pot of delicious smelling soup, and her face lit up as she saw Beth. “I won’t kiss you hello, just in case, but I’m feeling okay now, so don’t worry. Would you like some vegie soup?” she asked, her voice so bubbly and welcoming.
For a moment Beth wondered again why Violet was so nice to her, then she decided to ignore her insecurities, for now at least, and let herself be swept up in the love and positivity of this sweet family. She adored the casual manner of their meal, and was so grateful she wasn’t at home, enduring another frosty three-course dinner where no one spoke, and she was almost too afraid to eat, in case her mother criticised her supposed lack of etiquette.