The Innocent Assassins

by Pema Donyo

  "I want to go to college. I want to travel, Adrian.”

  He held me closer. Against my will, my nerves hummed in agreement at the touch. As he sat on the dock with me cradled in his lap, I scowled at the water in front of us. It was calm and peaceful - almost too much so.

  "We do travel." Adrian chuckled. "And who needs college? That’s one way to get a job. Being an entry-level executive at CO pays fifty thousand a year, Janey." His lips pecked a kiss against my cheek, as if I was being cute and adorable and possessed absolutely no idea what I was talking about.

  I inclined my head to look him in the eye. "Behind the muzzle of a gun? No thank you.”

  He met my gaze this time, searching mine for an explanation. “No one said anything about…”

  “Operative or executive, they’re both still assassins.” I pulled my hair to one side. “I want something safer.”

  “We are safe.” Adrian stiffened. It was like an attack against CO was an attack against him. “We’re at prep school for some of the year. We’re like anyone else.”

  “And now what? Now we’ve graduated and school’s over. CO is our life now.” I bit my lip. “You know I never wanted to stay.”

  “I know; I know. You want to be a writer.”

  “And I’ve already told you this before.” I swallowed. “We are not having this argument again. You are not going to ask me about…”

  "What about us?"

  I leaned back against him, as if my body heat could answer his questions. Regret filled the pit of my stomach. I should have never started this conversation. "We can still stay together. You know, I'll be in college and you'll be here."

  "No, you're staying here."

  I bit the inside of my cheek. Who did he think he was? I whipped my head around to glare at him. "You can't tell me what to do after the contract is over. If I want to leave, you can't stop me."

  Adrian pulled away and threw his hands in the air in exasperation. "Remember being at the foster home? You were there longer than I was. But CO adopted us, took us in, provided us an education, gave us food and clothes and everything we have." He pointed at me, his voice raised. "How can you be so ungrateful?"

  I gasped. "I am not ungrateful! I appreciate what CO gave me, but I don't want to be a part of it anymore." I searched his eyes for a flicker of understanding. "Out of everyone, I thought you would understand.”

  “I’m trying. You’re not making it easy.”

  “Don't you get it? I want a life of safety. I want to be like normal people and get married and settle down and have a family..."

  Adrian scoffed. "You want to be average."

  "Excuse me?"

  "You want to be average!" His tone was laced with frustration. Creases in his forehead appeared as he challenged me. "What, you're going to be some struggling writer married to some poverty-level plumber and pop out a few kids? Is that what you want?”

  I clenched my teeth. "I can't believe you."

  "That's your problem! You're going to get bored. Do you hear me? Bored. Small town life isn't enough for you. You're like me." Adrian strode over to me and leaned forward. I could smell the scent of his aftershave as it filled my senses. Damn him, still somehow smelling wonderful even as he caused my blood to boil. Stupid pheromones.

  "You want excitement; you want adventure. It’s not like what we’re doing is wrong.”

  “We kill people.”

  “Sure, it’s bad to go into a grocery store and start shooting everyone. But we don’t do that; we’re paid to close a contract. It’s not random shootings. These targets are a part of our work. It’s our job.”

  “This isn’t about the contracts.” I frowned. “We’ve already had this argument before. You know I don’t want to stay with CO for the rest of my life. You can’t tell me what I want.”

  “What about what I want?”

  “You can do what you want!” My voice cracked.

  “I want you to stay here with me, Janey." He lowered his voice. "We can lead CO together."

  What the—

  I pushed away from him and widened my eyes in disbelief. Surely he wasn’t serious. All pheromones were forgotten as his words sunk in. "You want to take over CO?"

  Adrian shrugged. "Maybe. Why not?" He laughed. For the first time, the sound frightened me. "We're the best assassins at CO right now. We make the best team. Think of what it would be like if we led CO together."

  I shook my head. What was he thinking? “Who are you?”

  “What?”

  “When did you decide what I was going to do with my future?”

  “It’s what’s best, Jane.”

  "What’s best for you, maybe. Is that all you care about—power and control?"

  Panic flickered across Adrian's face, like he realized for the first time he could lose me. Good, I thought. It's about time he learned.

  "Guess what? You can't control me. You don't have power over me."

  “This isn’t about power.”

  “This is all about power! This is about you and rising the ranks of CO.”

  A warning filled his voice. “Jane, listen to me.”

  “I’ve tried! Clearly you aren’t listening to me.” I brushed a stray lock of hair behind my ear. “I’ve had enough, Adrian.”

  “Enough of what?”

  “You.”

  “You don’t mean it.”

  "I do." I crossed my arms over my chest as adrenaline coursed through my veins. "If you can't respect what I want to achieve in life..."

  "It's not about not respecting you; I respect you more than anyone else. You're my best friend."

  I winced at his words. Yet his tone sounded like gravel. For all the sweetness of his speech, he refused to let any reaction show.

  "But you're making the wrong decision."

  I steeled myself to meet his own emotionless gaze. Red shadows clouded my vision and my blood boiled at his confidence. "It's over. We're over."

  I marched away on my heels, the patent leather stilettos I'd put on just for him clipping against the wooden slats of the dock. To think I'd worn this dress for him too. I pulled down the tight black material. Well, he wasn't getting any of this anymore!

  I was done with Adrian King. I was through. I was an independent woman who didn't let anyone stand in my way.

  ****

  One migraine pill, two trashy romance novels, three romantic comedies, four tissue boxes, and thirty spoons of peanut butter later, I was still bawling my eyes out.

  "It's... it's not fair!" I yelled. "How could he do this to me?"

  Lucy patted my back. "But lovely, you broke up with him. Remember?"

  I shot her a warning look. "You're supposed to be sympathizing with me, not blaming me."

  "Lucy's not blaming anyone." Emma passed me the tissue box. I took a tissue and blew my nose with all the noise of an elephant. Emma made a face at the sound, but continued. "You need to talk to Adrian and tell him you didn't mean it."

  "But I did." I scowled. "He won't accept what I want."

  "Adrian is just looking out for you." Lucy’s sugar-coated tone allowed my heart to lift. “He’s probably just as sad about this break-up as you are.”

  Emma shrugged. "Well, I agree with him. You're stupid for not staying with CO."

  "Emma!" Lucy shot Emma a shocked look. "We mustn't call Jane stupid."

  I brushed a tear away from my cheek. "Do you think I'm being stupid too, Lucy?"

  Lucy pursed her fuchsia-covered lips. She stopped patting my back and avoided eye contact, choosing to look at my shaggy red carpet instead. "Well, I wouldn't use such a terrible term as stupid..."

  "She's saying you need to stay with CO." Emma cut in. "I don't understand it either. Are you crazy? CO's given us everything. They took us in when we were starving, they paid for our education, and they make sure we're..."

  "Safe and secure. Adrian already told me." I reached for another chocolate bar, but Emma swatted my arm.

  "Processed sugars are not g
oing to solve your problems,” she snapped. “Why aren't you listening to him?”

  "CO cares about us." Lucy fiddled with one of her pigtails. "Emma and I want to stay. Adrian wants to stay." Her eyes shone with childlike enthusiasm. "We can all be happy together! Your life will be perfect."

  I shook my head. "I'm not getting back with Adrian. That's over. I don't care about him anymore."

  Emma huffed. "That’s not what this room says.”

  I glared.

  Emma met my eyes with an exasperated look, the same kind Adrian had given me two nights ago. "You and him have been best friends since you met in a foster home at like, what, five years old? You two have been hooking up for the past year. And you're a mess right now. You're obviously not over him.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “Says who?”

  "Says whoever is going to clean this up.” Emma gestured to the endless mass of tissues in front of me. "I doubt you ever will be."

  Lucy giggled. "We've all seen the way he looks at you during training."

  "I'm not trying to make a move on your man or anything." Emma picked up her nail file and started buffing her nails. "But if I were you, I wouldn't let a boy that good-looking get away.”

  "Okay, all right, we get it.” I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. "Maybe he and I were meant to go our separate ways. Nothing lasts forever."

  Lucy shot me a skeptical look. To my relief, she changed the topic anyway. "When's your next mission?"

  I glanced down at the color-coded schedule I'd received yesterday. "July ninth."

  "Oh no! I thought we were going to a concert that day.”

  I grimaced. "I know. But it’s only a few more missions."

  Then I'll be done with Covert Operatives forever.

  ****

  Adrian waited for me inside Marty's Workshop.

  I wasn't sure why any of us called it Marty's Workshop. Technically it was the artillery room, where all the weapons for our assignments were stored and returned once we completed a mission. There were definitely other keepers of the artillery besides Marty. He was the guy we all knew, though. He was the last one to rat you out for bringing back a bloody gun and the first one to congratulate you on a closed contract.

  I still remembered my first artillery training practice session with Marty. I was six at the time, when all CO's started with a BB gun and aimed at giant inflatable targets. It was a game, at least at the time. Adrian and I thought it was so much fun. But Marty kept us in line. His was the stern face who reminded us we were training for a job, not how to use a toy.

  As I stepped inside the workshop, Adrian gave me that weird nod guys do to acknowledge someone. Anyone. Even their ex-girlfriend.

  I attempted the casual nod in return, but my chin went way higher than necessary. My cheeks flushed. Why couldn’t I just feel normal around him already?

  "Hey." He leaned against the wall, one hand slung casually in his jean pocket and the other gripping a gun. I tried to ignore the beating in my chest. He wore the black shirt he knew I loved on him so much, and the dark-wash jeans weren't helping me think he was any less attractive. Forget him and his remembering what I liked on him.

  "Good evening."

  "How are you?"

  "Fine, thanks." I rapped on the window of Marty's office, hoping Marty came outside faster than usual for once. I could cut the awkwardness in the air with a knife. The sooner this mission was over, the better. “You?"

  "Good.”

  "Good."

  Silence. Where on earth was Marty?

  "Can we cut it out for a minute?"

  I spun my head at Adrian's outburst. His eyes narrowed at me. The gun clenched tight in his hand, emphasizing the muscles in his arms. Wow, I forgot how hot he is when he’s angry... I shook my head. Wrong train of thought, Jane.

  "I don't know what you're talking about," I fired back.

  He grabbed my arm. "We're not over. Having one fight doesn't mean this is over.” His voice wavered.

  Adrian King showing weakness? Unheard of.

  "Oh, but we are." I threw his arm off me, feeling a sick sense of satisfaction at how I caused such a physical reaction from him. "Unless you can understand my decision to leave CO, there's nothing to discuss."

  "We can't be together if you leave CO."

  "So I'm supposed to give up my education and career plans to appease you?"

  “That’s not what I’m—"

  The door to Marty's office swung open, and the familiar pudgy man with the handlebar mustache stepped outside. Marty’s face lit up when he saw me.

  "Well, if it isn't my favorite operative. I hope you'll consider joining CO as an executive."

  I twisted my mouth. The bitter irony of hearing his wish as I stood right next to Adrian hit me. Somehow I couldn't bring myself to tell Marty my plans for leaving. There was something about Marty which always reminded me of a grandfather. I'd grown up with his instruction and guidance on how to kill.

  Adrian stood stoic as Marty handed me my gun, my favorite semiautomatic handgun. It fit in my hand like a glove; it was perfect. I thanked Marty, then spun around to face Adrian.

  He stood still as I walked past him, and he followed me without a word as we left Marty's Workshop. We walked over to the runway where a plane waited to take us to Pennsylvania. We'd been briefed on the location, some alley where CO knew the target was hiding. Apparently the client had tipped off the target. It didn't matter, of course.

  Adrian and I never missed a shot.

  After the plane landed on a small runway strip in Haverford, we walked to the garage. A sleek black car waited for us. The driver took a look at us and studied our identification badges as part of the procedure. He checked something off on his clipboard and handed Adrian and I photographs of our target.

  I opened my car door first and turned to face the window immediately after I sat down. As soon as Adrian sat beside me, the car sped off into the night.

  "You can't walk away. Leaving CO will be the biggest mistake of your life.”

  "I tried to switch partners." My voice was clipped even as my heart fluttered. I tried to ignore the heightened awareness I felt around him. No need for more conversation. No more Adrian and Jane.

  His voice hardened. "You don't mean that."

  I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're the one always trying to tell me what to do and what to believe. I can think for myself, thanks." I stared back out the window, away from Adrian King's clear blue eyes and sandy hair. Thank goodness for the privacy of the black soundproof screen. The dark divider between the driver and the passengers provided me some degree of relief. There was no point in letting others in CO know about the relationship between Adrian and me.

  The rest of the ride to the drop-off point was silent. The hum of the car engine filled the air, all the noise I wanted or needed to hear in the presence of my ex-boyfriend.

  I stepped out of the car as soon as it stopped. The door from Adrian's end clicked shut, and the car sped off into the night.

  Okay, Jane, focus on your footsteps. Don't make much noise, the target is on the run, listen up for a sound of the target, don't think about how he is three feet away from you...

  "Are you still ignoring me?"

  I bristled at Adrian's question. A few more missions, just a few more, and I would never have to deal with or think about him again.

  I pointed my gun at the dark alley. Adrian understood the signal at once and leaned against the back of the brick wall in front of the passage. Neither of us made a sound as we guarded the entrance.

  Police sirens whirred in the distance. I shook my head. Did these people think the police could save them?

  Apparently this idiot did. He charged out through the alley at the sound of the sirens, unaware Adrian and I stood between him and his rescue. But as he pulled out of the shadows, another person grabbed Adrian. The figure stood holding a gun to my partner’s head.

  I shot at the man who held Adrian. As he ducked, I
glimpsed the white “FBI” emblazoned on his vest.

  The target retreated to hide in the alley, and everything in me screamed to locate and eliminate him. Shoot him, then get out. It would be so easy. But Adrian - what about Adrian?

  My stomach flip-flopped as I stared straight in front of me. In the darkness of the alley, I could barely make out the details of Adrian’s face. He didn't want to die any more than I did. As much as he tried to convince me, he wasn’t invincible.

  "Run!" Adrian cried. The whites in his eyes shone in the darkness of the alley. "Just hit the target and run!"

  "Shoot the man in the alley and I shoot your partner." The FBI guy's hand shook even as he pressed the barrel of his gun to Adrian's head. A hardened agent wouldn’t have been so nervous, but the tone of his voice betrayed his rookie status on the job. I would've laughed if I wasn't so afraid all his shaking would set off the trigger. "CIA found out about you guys months ago. Covert Operatives."

  The police sirens blared closer to us. Two blocks, maybe three. I swallowed in my indecision. I couldn't move if Adrian's life was on the line.

  "I got 'em on Forty-fifth and Broadway, do you copy?" Young FBI guy held his walkie-talkie with one hand and his gun with the other. The once-nervous agent seemed to gain control over the situation again, and the crackle of his communication device assured him of his importance. His hold on the gun steadied. He spat at the ground, turning his attention from alerting the police back to Adrian and I. "Teenagers. Don't even know what you're doing."

  "Don't call her a kid!" Before I knew what was happening, Adrian lunged for the gun with one hand while his other fist landed a punch in the agent’s solar plexus. The man grunted and doubled over, retaining his grip on the pistol. They struggled for control, free hands grasping and punching and clawing. But this guy was FBI. Adrian was CO. Another swift punch fell below the jaw and the FBI agent dropped to the ground, unconscious.

  "There's going to be others." Adrian's eyes darted around us, checking for this guy's backup. Satisfied for the moment, he pulled out his gun and rested it against the man's temple in case he woke up. "Hit the target and we're out."