“I’m not sure,” I tell her honestly, with my heart backing it up with, bad idea!
“I am. And I’m giving you one more week before I get my ass on a plane, and come to you.”
“Come again?”
“You heard me. I’m a single girl, you have a spare bedroom, and if I’m being real, this whole virtual assistant and only seeing you one week a month is a load of horse shit.”
There’s a mumble in the background, and I’m willing to bet it’s Mya’s avó reaming her out for swearing. Mya might come from a traditional Portuguese family, but nothing about her is traditional, least of all her potty mouth. It’s her lack of a filter that first drew me to her, and then I got to know her, and we ended up sticking to each other like glue. She’s the crazy to my calm, the spontaneous to my over-cautiousness.
“Sorry,” Mya says. “As I was saying, I’ll be in Texas in a week, and I’ll be staying with you until I get my shit together.”
“You and Kyle not work out?” Truth be told, Mya’s boyfriend is a preppy dick with more money than sense. I hated him the moment we met, but luckily I was already living with Mel and Ryan so I never saw much of him. I just know he hated the one week a month Mya was here helping me.
“I caught him banging one of the rich bitches he’s friends with,” she says nonchalantly. “But, I’m not going to lose sleep over it, and since you have enough to deal with, I’ll fill you in when I get there.”
“You’re really coming?” The idea makes me smile. Being around Thorin, and the guys, without a buffer scares the ever loving shit out of me, if I’m honest with myself. Maggie will be heading back to Florida soon, and then it’ll just be me, and a bunch of men. I don’t consider the ranch hands, or the men who worked for Ryan because I have little to no interaction with them, unless I want to take one of the horses out for a ride.
“Duh.” She hesitates, and then asks, “If you’ll have me?”
“Duh.”
She laughs when I imitate her. “You’re a dork.”
“Takes one to know one,” I tease.
“God, I’ve missed you.”
I swallow hard. “I’ve missed you too. Dealing with everything alone has been…”
“I know, babe. But you won’t have to once I’m there. I’m going to get your ass organized, and ready to go, and until then, you need to start writing again, and try be less awkward around Thorin and those cockheads.”
I snort. “Cockheads?”
“Yes. Every man on this planet is a cockhead,” she says. “Well, except Eli, but that’s because he’s still a bebê, and you won’t allow him to become a cockhead, will you?”
“Well, I won’t,” I laugh. “But who knows what he’s going to learn from Thorin.”
“Thorin won’t be a problem.” I’m about to ask her what she means by that, but she continues. “So, can I expect a limo at the airport, or your Big Red?”
“Big Red,” I laugh. “Just send me your flight details.”
“Will do, sweets. Now stop cleaning, and go to bed. You shouldn’t be awake at such an ungodly hour when you have a newborn.”
My brows furrow. “How’d you—”
“I know you, Reese. When you’re stressed out, you clean. Stop.”
“Fine,” I acquiesce, throwing my scrubbing brush into the bucket next to me. “I’ll find something else to do until my mind decides to switch off.” And until I’m not thinking about how it feels to have Thorin back in my life.
“Good, and I’ll send you my flight details later so you know when to pick me up.”
“Okay. Love you, Mya.”
“Love you, babe. Chat to you soon.”
I end the call, and can’t help but smile. For the first time since Mel and Ryan died, dread and grief are replaced with anticipation. I don’t want to grieve forever, and having Mya here will ease the process of getting back to work, and balancing a new schedule that now includes a baby. Thorin and I still have to work out the logistics, since I don’t know what his long-term plans are, but we can put that on hold until Maggie goes home. For now, we’ll just have to figure it out as we go, and I think Thorin still needs time to process everything. When he’s ready, we’ll talk about how things will work with Eli. I put the cleaning supplies away, check on Eli, who’s still sleeping rather soundly, and walk into my bedroom. Mya’s insistence that I start writing songs again niggles at me, and before I realize it, I’m moving into my carpeted walk-in closet and reaching for the box tucked away on the very top shelf. I blow the dust off the lid, and make myself comfortable on the floor. The box contains photographs, some of me with Ryan and Thorin, some of me with just Thorin and some with Maggie and Eli Sr. There’s one or two of me alone, smiling shyly at the camera because Thorin was the one taking the picture. There’s none of me with my parents, I burnt any family photographs I might have kept the day I graduated high school. And amidst all those memories, I find the tattered and bent notebook filled with the lyrics I wrote years ago. Some are my songs, and some I wrote with Thorin. That was before things changed, and the feel of it in my hands makes something shift painfully in my chest. I realize it’s a memory of my 17th birthday. The very first Thorin forgot about.
I’m sitting in the mom-and-pop diner in town, waiting for Thorin. I want to believe he remembered what today is, but the longer I wait, the more deflated I become. My parents made no fanfare of my birthday, but every year Thorin and I come to the diner, just the two of us, and he’d have the staff singing happy birthday while we shared an ice-cream sundae. It’s the only thing he’s managed to get right since things went to shit, and like always, it gave me hope that he’d change. But he never does, and here I am, like an idiot, waiting for him. Again.
The waitress stops by my table. “You sure I can’t get you something, hon?” She’s polite enough not to point out how long I’ve been waiting.
“I’m fine, thank you. I’m meeting someone.”
Pity flashes in her eyes, and she’s probably thinking the same thing I am. I’ve been stood up.
“Just shout if you need anything, okay?”
I nod, and watch her walk away, my gaze traveling to the door. It’s quiet tonight, with one or two families enjoying a meal, but I keep looking out the window in the hopes of seeing Thorin’s truck pull in. After waiting another thirty minutes, I’m finally ready to call it a night and go home. Chances are, Thorin is at a party with Jessica and his friends, and I’m not foolish enough to keep waiting. I should have known better. I’m about to slip out of the booth when the bell above the door chimes. I look up, and see Ryan strolling towards my booth.
“Thought I’d find you here.” He smiles, and takes a seat, his big frame filling the space. “How’d you know?” My cheeks flush from embarrassment.
“Call it a hunch.” He winks, and signals for the waitress. “Can we get a sundae to share, extra whipped cream?”
“Comin’ right up.”
When she’s gone, I start tearing the napkin in my hand apart. Nervous habit. “I thought he’d remember.”
Ryan sighs, and scoots over until he can rest his arm around my shoulders. “I had a feeling this would happen, so I left campus early this morning, and decided I’d surprise you this year.”
“So, you came out of pity?” God, I’m so pathetic, pinning my hopes on a boy who’s done nothing but let me down for the last year and a half. Why I expected him to show up is beyond me.
“Absolutely not,” Ryan replies, his brows furrowed. “I came because this is the last birthday you’ll have before you graduate, and I actually didn’t want to miss it. I know you and Thorin have your little tradition, but I didn’t want you to think this birthday wasn’t just as important as the ones before it.” Ryan knows my birthday was just another day in my house, even Maggie and Eli make a bigger deal about it than my own parents ever have.
“I appreciate it, Ry, but you can’t keep saving me from disappointment, ya know.”
“I know, but I sure as hell won�
��t contribute to it, either. You know I love you, Reese, and I know Thorin has been a dick.”
I shrug. “Guess he’s just outgrown me.” Ryan opens his mouth, but we’re interrupted by the waitress. Thank God, because the last thing I want is for Ryan to defend Thorin’s actions or deny that he has, in fact, outgrown our friendship. It’s bad enough that I find myself making up excuses for his dickish ways. Old habits, and all that. The waitress smiles, and pulls a sparkler from her apron.
Without a word, she smiles, and lights it. “A little bird called and said it was your birthday, sweetheart.”
I look at Ryan. “You didn’t.”
“I sure did, Reese Pie.”
The waitress leaves again, and Ryan grins. “Make a wish.”
I stare at the flickers of light jumping off the sparkler, and realize I have no wish. I could wish for things to go back to how they were with Thorin, or for my parents to love and accept me for who I am, regardless of what the scale says. But neither of those wishes would come true.
“My wish has already come true,” I tell Ryan. “I get to spend my birthday with someone who cares about me.” I might’ve said it to appease him, but that doesn’t mean I’m lying.
“And that will never change,” he tells me, planting a wet kiss on my cheek. I giggle, and we start eating. Ryan asks me about college, what my plans are, and keeps my mind from drifting to his brother. He tells me about his girlfriend, Melissa, and how he wants to bring her home for Thanksgiving to meet his parents.
“Must be serious,” I say, swallowing down my last scoop of ice-cream.
His smile is contagious. “She’s great, you’d love her.”
“I hope I’ll get to meet her. Maybe you can come visit me when I’m at Auburn.”
“You know, that sounds like a great idea. Mel and I are due for a roadtrip, anyway.” Ryan wipes his mouth. “You ready to go home? I’ll drive you.”
He pays the bill, and leads me outside to his truck. He’s just opened the passenger side door for me—I always need a boost when climbing into his monstrous vehicle—when another truck stops in the lot. I freeze, and watch as Thorin climbs out, and walks around the hood to open the passenger side door for Jessica. He puts his arm around her, and looks up, doing a double take when he see’s me with Ryan.
“Hey.” He frowns. “What are you two doing here?”
It’s an innocent question, and by the expression on Thorin’s face I can tell he’s really confused. Idiot. I glance at Ryan, and he looks pretty unhappy. “Grabbing a sundae with my favorite girl, what do you think we’re doing here, dumbass?”
Jessica wraps her arm around Thorin’s waist possessively—she might as well lift her already too-short skit, and pee on him like the animal she is—and as always, looks at me with unabashed disgust. I almost want to cower, but I’m too busy watching Thorin’s expression. “Jesus, who pissed in your protein shake, Ry? And why didn’t you tell me you were coming home?”
“I’m driving back tonight. I came to surprise Reese.”
I see the train-wreck before it even happens.
Thorin looks at me and I see the moment he realizes why I’m here, and why Ryan’s visit is a surprise.
“Shit,” he mutters. He tries to take a step forward, but Jessica won’t let him go, and Ryan is in front of me before I can blink. “Reese, I’m sor—”
“Save it, Thorin,” Ryan snaps. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard him be so abrasive to anyone, let alone his little brother.
“Ry, this is between me and Reese.” Thorin pries Jessica’s arm from around his waist and her pout-slash-glare doesn’t go unnoticed. If the wind changes direction, I hope her face stays like that. “Reese, can I talk to you for a second, please?”
I know I shouldn’t. Thorin has let me down for what I decide is the last time, but it’s the ‘please’ that does me in. Ryan looks at me. “You don’t have to talk to him.”
“It’s okay.” I step down from his truck, and slowly shut the door. “You already gave me my birthday wish, Ry. There’s nothing more your brother can do to hurt me.”
He reluctantly steps aside to give me and Thorin some privacy.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Reese.” He takes my hand in his. “I don’t even have a plausible excuse, but let me make it up to you.”
I pull my hands from his, and stuff them in my coat pocket. “Just forget about it, like you have everything else.”
“Please, Reese, I’ll make it up to you, I swear. Tomorrow night, you and me, at the barn on the ranch.”
“Thorin, it’s—”
“It’s not fine!” He half-shouts. “Just say ‘yes’, let me fix it.”
I sigh. The right thing for me would be to say no, to take away any opportunity for Thorin to hurt me again, but something inside me nudges me to give him one last shot. Who knew I was such a sucker?
“Fine,” I mutter, stepping towards Ryan’s truck. “Tomorrow night.”
Thorin watches me climb inside Ryan’s truck, and doesn’t move until we’re out of the lot.
“You sure about this?” Ryan asks next to me.
“No,” I reply honestly. “But you know he won’t give up until he gets what he wants.”
He’s quiet for the rest of the short ride to my parents’ house, and when he stops, he grips my hand. “I know you love him, but don’t let him stop you from leaving this place behind and starting over. You deserve so much better.”
My throat constricts with the verity of his statement. “Thanks, Ry. For driving all the way here to surprise me. It means a lot.”
I give him a kiss on the cheek, and climb out. He doesn’t leave until I’m safely inside, and I’m left wondering why I couldn’t have fallen for the older Decker brother. It would have been so much easier because he’s never done a damn thing to hurt me, hasn’t ever let me down, and has never looked at me differently just because I don’t look like a cheerleader.
***
Ryan’s words are still fresh in my head, even as I’m walking down the dirt road towards his parent’s ranch the following night. I huddle into the warmth of my jacket, and can’t help the stirring of butterflies in my belly. As soon as I step onto their driveway though, I know I should turn around and leave—but not before kicking myself in the damn teeth. The music is so loud, I’m sure the neighboring ranches can hear it. In spite of myself, I keep walking, and head towards the barn anyway. My curiosity outweighs my self-preservation by a damn mile at this point, so why stop now? I round the corner, and come face-to-face with what looks like a rager of a party. For a split second, I wonder if throwing me a party was Thorin’s idea of making it up to me, even after saying it would be just the two of us, but everyone is way past shitfaced by the time I have a chance to take it all in. It’s the entire senior class, with a few juniors, along with the football team, and cheerleading squad. Sure as hell isn’t for me because Thorin knows how much I hate everyone in attendance. I stand in the shadows, just outside the barn doors, and search for him through the crowd. Eventually, I spot him in the middle of everyone, perched on a log with his guitar in hand. It isn’t uncommon for him to sing at parties, least of all with his friends Fletch, Carson and Benji, but it’s the song he’s belting out at the top of his lungs that has me clenching my fists. When I realize he’s serenading Jessica with the last song we wrote together, I feel my eyes start to burn. He looks down, and I see the lyric book lying at his feet. It’s not like it belongs to me, but writing songs in that book was always our thing, until it wasn’t anymore, and now it feels like he’s spilling all my secrets. The crowd sways, and Jessica looks love-struck. She should, because I wrote the song for Thorin, even if he didn’t know it. The way I see it, I have two choices. I can either storm up to him, grab the book and make a scene, or I can wait until he’s distracted, and take the book without being noticed. Everyone is drunk, it’s not like they’d pay attention to me. I go with option two, and after waiting for him to finish the song, and disappear with Jessica,
I sneak in and take the lyric book. I bump into a few people, but keep my head down until I’m out the door, and walking back down his gravel driveway. I should have known it was too good to be true. Everything with Thorin always is, and maybe they always were. I stuff the notebook in my jacket, and decide to keep it. It’s not long until I leave anyway, and I have no doubt Thorin would have no recollection of this night come morning. Suits me just fine, because as soon as I’m done with high school, I’ll be leaving Thorin behind for good.
Rather than place the worn out notebook back in the box, I put it next to my bed. I don’t know if I’ll have the courage to write again, but I don’t see any harm in trying if Mya thinks it will help. I’d buried my feelings for Thorin a long time ago, and doubted writing in what was once our notebook would suddenly revive them. It was just an object, and they were just words, after all.
Chapter Eight
Thorin
I’m standing in the kitchen drinking coffee, watching Mom love on Eli, when Reese knocks on the front door, and walks in. “You ready to go?” She asks. I take in what she’s wearing—tight, white-washed jeans, brown leather boots, a grey knee-length sweater, and a coat. She frowns, and I realize I’m not just staring, but actually checking her out. I clear my throat.
“Yeah.” I dump my mug into the dishwasher and turn to Mom. “We’ll be back in a bit.”
“Take your time, sweetheart. I’m quite happy to spend the morning with the most handsome little man in the world.”
Under The Same Sky (Horseshoe Bay Book 1) Page 7
